(SALLY IS SITTING LUGUBRIOUSLY ON A PORCH STEP, AT TWILIGHT.)

 

CECIL:

Hi, Sally! What'cha doing, sitting out here on the front porch, all by yourself? "Plump," said he, sitting himself down on a step. (SITS DOWN)

(SHE DOESN'T REPLY)

 

CECIL:

Hey... I said, "Hello"?

SALLY:

(SNIFFLES. TEARFULLY) Hello, Cecil.

CECIL:

(OUT OF HABIT) Fine, thank you. Oh, golly, I was just go-- (NOTICES) Hey... What's the matter, Sally? Are you crying?

SALLY:

Oh, no. Don't be silly. (WEEPING) Oh, I feel terrible.

CECIL:

Oh, gee, I'm sorry. What'sa matter? Are you sick?

SALLY:

Oh, of course I'm not sick. What would I be sick for?

CECIL:

Oh, w-whatever's wrong, I'm sorry. Can I-- Can I do something?

SALLY:

Yes. Leave me alone.

CECIL:

(A BIT HURT) Well... I just thought I come over and say hello.

SALLY:

Oh, it's such a mean old sad world.

CECIL:

Well. I've said hello. Want me to beat it?

SALLY:

No. Stay here. (WEEPING) Oh, nothing matters. Oh dear...

CECIL:

Hey, what are you crying about?

SALLY:

I'm not crying.

CECIL:

Well... You're not laughing.

SALLY:

I'm just-- just sort of-- sort of-- (WEEPING) Oh, leave me alone.

CECIL:

I-I didn't touch you. Gee,.you look terrible.

SALLY:

You see, well... I've been home all by myself, and everything has been so still and... quiet, and still... (VOICE CRACKS)

CECIL:

Well, w-well, that's nothing to break into tears about.

SALLY:

Well, I didn't want to. And when I started, I couldn't stop. You've never been this way, I don't think.

CECIL:

Huh, I hope not! Gee, I-I'm sorry, Sally.

SALLY:

There's nothing to be sorry about. You see, I was looking in my mirror, in my room.

CECIL:

What were you looking in your mirror for?

SALLY:

To see myself, of course.

CECIL:

Well, I... I didn't know. I don't know anything.?W-won't you stop sniffling?

SALLY:

(TEARFUL) No, I won't. I'll sniffle all I want to. You can go home, if you don't like the way I sniffle. (SNIFFLES A FEW TIMES) There.

CECIL:

All right. It's beautiful. A little bit flat, though.

SALLY:

D'you want me to tell you the rest?

CECIL:

That's what I'm waiting for.

SALLY:

Well... I looked at myself in the mirror. And--

CECIL:

And was so disappointed, that you cried. Is that all?

SALLY:

No. I wasn't feeling so good, anyhow, and... I thought to myself, "My goodness, but I look sad." Didn't you look at yourself in the mirror, ever, and think how sad you looked?

CECIL:

Nn...o. I don't think I ever have. I try to look stern, or... ferocious sometimes, but (CHUCKLES) I don't think I ever look so sad. I-I hadn't noticed.

SALLY:

Well, I was just roaming around the house, and I thought, while I was looking in the mirror, "My, how sad I look."

CECIL:

All right. You thought, how sad you look. Did you let it go at that?

SALLY:

Well, I-- You see... I thought I... I would...you know, I-I would see how really sad I COULD look. You know, just to see?

CECIL:

Well, you look pretty sad now. You want my handkerchief?

SALLY:

(TEARFUL) Thanks. (SNIFFLES A BIT. DRIES HER EYES) Well... I stood in front of my mirror, and tried to see how sad I could look. You know, I wanted to be sort of sorry for myself...

CECIL:

What's the percentage in doing that? Oh, I think you're crazy!

SALLY:

(TEARFUL) Well... if you're gonna talk that way, I won't tell you the rest.

CECIL:

Aw, I'm sorry. (GENTLY PATTING HER BACK) Now don't, Sally. Gosh, I wish you wouldn't.

SALLY:

Don't pat me, Cecil. I'm not a puppy.

CECIL:

All right. All right, I won't touch you. Tell me the rest.

SALLY:

Well... (TINY SOB) I looked at myself, and I tried to see how sad I could look, but... I didn't do so well. And then, I tried to think of all the sad things I could think of, (SOBBING) and so-- and so-- and so...

CECIL:

Hey, well, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute! Don't start that again.

SALLY:

Oh, I won't. Oh, Cecil, I feel so bad.

CECIL:

Well, so do I. Keep this up, and we'll both be sitting out here, bawling.

SALLY:

(LITTLE LAUGH) Wouldn't that be funny? And Uncle Thomas would come home, and see us...

CECIL:

Hooray, you're laughing. Atta girl, Sally, ol' kid! Feel better?

SALLY:

(TEARFUL) No. I feel worse.

CECIL:

Don't stop now. What did you think of? Something sad?

SALLY:

Oh, Cecil. You've no idea what I've been through. It's awful.

CECIL:

Please get back on the track again, Sally. What was it?

SALLY:

Well... I thought of this. That-- that-- (SOB) I thought, suppose Uncle Thomas should die? (SOB) I thought, suppose Uncle Thomas should die, and leave me all alone? (WEEPING) Oh...

CECIL:

(BEAT) Huh. Well, you sure picked out a nice, pleasant little subject.

SALLY:

Oh... I thought-- I thought, suppose he should die and leave me (WAILING) all alone? (WEEPING) With nobody in the world? And so, I got to crying, and-- Oh, it's terrible!

CECIL:

Well, cheer up. Nothing's wrong. It's all right, now. My gosh!

SALLY:

But that's not the worst. I couldn't stop. (WEEPS)

CECIL:

Well, that's-- that's as bad as I can think of. You better stop now.

SALLY:

Oh, Cecil. You don't know what it means to lose somebody.

CECIL:

Aw, Sally, snap out of it. You're all shot to pieces.

SALLY:

(TEARFUL) Cecil... there's some more.

CECIL:

All right. Gimme the whole story. What's the rest?

SALLY:

Well... I-it wasn't just Uncle Thomas dying. It was everything else too. (WEEPING) Oh, goodness. It's awful.

CECIL:

Suppose you tell me the rest, then? I can stand it.

SALLY:

Well-- Well... after I thought about Uncle Thomas dying, and leaving me all alone-- (WEEPING) all alone... I thought, suppose that-- that YOU should die? (SOBS)

CECIL:

Holy cow. You even had ME die. Well! You're no piker.

SALLY:

Please don't make fun, Cecil. It's too serious.

CECIL:

I can't feature anyone with no more to do than to sit around, and think of different people dying.

SALLY:

(TEARFUL) Cecil, that isn't all. I thought, I thought, suppose that Uncle Thomas should die, and you should die, and everybody should die... everybody except me... and I thought, how lonely I'd be. (SOBBING) Oh... Nobody left but me-e-e-e!

CECIL:

Oh, my gosh! Hey, cut it out, Sally! I feel like a sap.

SALLY:

I can't help it. It's so sad. No one but-- but me. No one to love me. All by myself...

CECIL:

Well. Well, thanks very much for feeling sad about me dying, but, ha! But I'm feeling pretty good, thank you. Aw, come on, Sally.

SALLY:

(TEARFUL) Cecil... Wouldn't it be terrible, all of you dying? Dead?

CECIL:

Well... sure it would. But forget about it. Oh, it's not true. You just thought it up.

SALLY:

I know it. But I can't help but feel this way. Oh, dear... (WEEPS)

CECIL:

Well. What I'd like to know is, after you got all worked up like this, did you look in the mirror to see how you looked?

SALLY:

Oh, goodness... Oh dear, I forgot all about that, then. I felt so sad, and I forgot to see how I'd look.

CECIL:

(CHUCKLING) Oh, my gosh. After all that trouble and blooey! Oh, what a stoop!

SALLY:

Cecil... would you feel bad if you got to thinking that I'd died? Would you?

CECIL:

Oh, I don't know... I wouldn't ever think about it. Why should I?

SALLY:

Well, sometime, when you wanna feel sad, would you?

CECIL:

Oh, I don't know. Let's forget that. There's no percentage.

SALLY:

(LITTLE SOBS) Oh, I believe you wouldn't. You wouldn't care. You wouldn't care if you were the only person on earth, left in the world. (WEEPING) Oh...

CECIL:

Now, Sally, now... Now, please. Now, wait a minute. I'd feel rotten. Oh, I'd feel punked. Huh! I-I can tell you now. Now, forget, forget it now, come on. L-let's go for a ride in Ben Hur. Do you-- do you-- do you still feel miserable?

SALLY:

(TEARFUL, BUT HAPPY) All right. Let's go. Goodness, but I've enjoyed this. I haven't had such a good time since our pet canary died, and I buried it in the back yard. Oh, it's been such a pleasure. Let's go, Cecil. Here's your handkerchief.