(SALLY IS SITTING LUGUBRIOUSLY ON A PORCH STEP, AT TWILIGHT.) CECIL: Hi, Sally! What'cha doing, sitting out here on the front porch, all by yourself? "Plump," said he, sitting himself down on a step. (SITS DOWN) (SHE DOESN'T REPLY) CECIL: Hey... I said, "Hello"? SALLY: (SNIFFLES. TEARFULLY) Hello, Cecil. CECIL: (OUT OF HABIT) Fine, thank you. Oh, golly, I was just go-- (NOTICES) Hey... What's the matter, Sally? Are you crying? SALLY: Oh, no. Don't be silly. (WEEPING) Oh, I feel terrible. CECIL: Oh, gee, I'm sorry. What'sa matter? Are you sick? SALLY: Oh, of course I'm not sick. What would I be sick for? CECIL: Oh, w-whatever's wrong, I'm sorry. Can I-- Can I do something? SALLY: Yes. Leave me alone. CECIL: (A BIT HURT) Well... I just thought I come over and say hello. SALLY: Oh, it's such a mean old sad world. CECIL: Well. I've said hello. Want me to beat it? SALLY: No. Stay here. (WEEPING) Oh, nothing matters. Oh dear... CECIL: Hey, what are you crying about? SALLY: I'm not crying. CECIL: Well... You're not laughing. SALLY: I'm just-- just sort of-- sort of-- (WEEPING) Oh, leave me alone. CECIL: I-I didn't touch you. Gee,.you look terrible. SALLY: You see, well... I've been home all by myself, and everything has been so still and... quiet, and still... (VOICE CRACKS) CECIL: Well, w-well, that's nothing to break into tears about. SALLY: Well, I didn't want to. And when I started, I couldn't stop. You've never been this way, I don't think. CECIL: Huh, I hope not! Gee, I-I'm sorry, Sally. SALLY: There's nothing to be sorry about. You see, I was looking in my mirror, in my room. CECIL: What were you looking in your mirror for? SALLY: To see myself, of course. CECIL: Well, I... I didn't know. I don't know anything.?W-won't you stop sniffling? SALLY: (TEARFUL) No, I won't. I'll sniffle all I want to. You can go home, if you don't like the way I sniffle. (SNIFFLES A FEW TIMES) There. CECIL: All right. It's beautiful. A little bit flat, though. SALLY: D'you want me to tell you the rest? CECIL: That's what I'm waiting for. SALLY: Well... I looked at myself in the mirror. And-- CECIL: And was so disappointed, that you cried. Is that all? SALLY: No. I wasn't feeling so good, anyhow, and... I thought to myself, "My goodness, but I look sad." Didn't you look at yourself in the mirror, ever, and think how sad you looked? CECIL: Nn...o. I don't think I ever have. I try to look stern, or... ferocious sometimes, but (CHUCKLES) I don't think I ever look so sad. I-I hadn't noticed. SALLY: Well, I was just roaming around the house, and I thought, while I was looking in the mirror, "My, how sad I look." CECIL: All right. You thought, how sad you look. Did you let it go at that? SALLY: Well, I-- You see... I thought I... I would...you know, I-I would see how really sad I COULD look. You know, just to see? CECIL: Well, you look pretty sad now. You want my handkerchief? SALLY: (TEARFUL) Thanks. (SNIFFLES A BIT. DRIES HER EYES) Well... I stood in front of my mirror, and tried to see how sad I could look. You know, I wanted to be sort of sorry for myself... CECIL: What's the percentage in doing that? Oh, I think you're crazy! SALLY: (TEARFUL) Well... if you're gonna talk that way, I won't tell you the rest. CECIL: Aw, I'm sorry. (GENTLY PATTING HER BACK) Now don't, Sally. Gosh, I wish you wouldn't. SALLY: Don't pat me, Cecil. I'm not a puppy. CECIL: All right. All right, I won't touch you. Tell me the rest. SALLY: Well... (TINY SOB) I looked at myself, and I tried to see how sad I could look, but... I didn't do so well. And then, I tried to think of all the sad things I could think of, (SOBBING) and so-- and so-- and so... CECIL: Hey, well, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute! Don't start that again. SALLY: Oh, I won't. Oh, Cecil, I feel so bad. CECIL: Well, so do I. Keep this up, and we'll both be sitting out here, bawling. SALLY: (LITTLE LAUGH) Wouldn't that be funny? And Uncle Thomas would come home, and see us... CECIL: Hooray, you're laughing. Atta girl, Sally, ol' kid! Feel better? SALLY: (TEARFUL) No. I feel worse. CECIL: Don't stop now. What did you think of? Something sad? SALLY: Oh, Cecil. You've no idea what I've been through. It's awful. CECIL: Please get back on the track again, Sally. What was it? SALLY: Well... I thought of this. That-- that-- (SOB) I thought, suppose Uncle Thomas should die? (SOB) I thought, suppose Uncle Thomas should die, and leave me all alone? (WEEPING) Oh... CECIL: (BEAT) Huh. Well, you sure picked out a nice, pleasant little subject. SALLY: Oh... I thought-- I thought, suppose he should die and leave me (WAILING) all alone? (WEEPING) With nobody in the world? And so, I got to crying, and-- Oh, it's terrible! CECIL: Well, cheer up. Nothing's wrong. It's all right, now. My gosh! SALLY: But that's not the worst. I couldn't stop. (WEEPS) CECIL: Well, that's-- that's as bad as I can think of. You better stop now. SALLY: Oh, Cecil. You don't know what it means to lose somebody. CECIL: Aw, Sally, snap out of it. You're all shot to pieces. SALLY: (TEARFUL) Cecil... there's some more. CECIL: All right. Gimme the whole story. What's the rest? SALLY: Well... I-it wasn't just Uncle Thomas dying. It was everything else too. (WEEPING) Oh, goodness. It's awful. CECIL: Suppose you tell me the rest, then? I can stand it. SALLY: Well-- Well... after I thought about Uncle Thomas dying, and leaving me all alone-- (WEEPING) all alone... I thought, suppose that-- that YOU should die? (SOBS) CECIL: Holy cow. You even had ME die. Well! You're no piker. SALLY: Please don't make fun, Cecil. It's too serious. CECIL: I can't feature anyone with no more to do than to sit around, and think of different people dying. SALLY: (TEARFUL) Cecil, that isn't all. I thought, I thought, suppose that Uncle Thomas should die, and you should die, and everybody should die... everybody except me... and I thought, how lonely I'd be. (SOBBING) Oh... Nobody left but me-e-e-e! CECIL: Oh, my gosh! Hey, cut it out, Sally! I feel like a sap. SALLY: I can't help it. It's so sad. No one but-- but me. No one to love me. All by myself... CECIL: Well. Well, thanks very much for feeling sad about me dying, but, ha! But I'm feeling pretty good, thank you. Aw, come on, Sally. SALLY: (TEARFUL) Cecil... Wouldn't it be terrible, all of you dying? Dead? CECIL: Well... sure it would. But forget about it. Oh, it's not true. You just thought it up. SALLY: I know it. But I can't help but feel this way. Oh, dear... (WEEPS) CECIL: Well. What I'd like to know is, after you got all worked up like this, did you look in the mirror to see how you looked? SALLY: Oh, goodness... Oh dear, I forgot all about that, then. I felt so sad, and I forgot to see how I'd look. CECIL: (CHUCKLING) Oh, my gosh. After all that trouble and blooey! Oh, what a stoop! SALLY: Cecil... would you feel bad if you got to thinking that I'd died? Would you? CECIL: Oh, I don't know... I wouldn't ever think about it. Why should I? SALLY: Well, sometime, when you wanna feel sad, would you? CECIL: Oh, I don't know. Let's forget that. There's no percentage. SALLY: (LITTLE SOBS) Oh, I believe you wouldn't. You wouldn't care. You wouldn't care if you were the only person on earth, left in the world. (WEEPING) Oh... CECIL: Now, Sally, now... Now, please. Now, wait a minute. I'd feel rotten. Oh, I'd feel punked. Huh! I-I can tell you now. Now, forget, forget it now, come on. L-let's go for a ride in Ben Hur. Do you-- do you-- do you still feel miserable? SALLY: (TEARFUL, BUT HAPPY) All right. Let's go. Goodness, but I've enjoyed this. I haven't had such a good time since our pet canary died, and I buried it in the back yard. Oh, it's been such a pleasure. Let's go, Cecil. Here's your handkerchief.