SMITH:

(COLD) The "Camel Screen Guild Theatre"!

MUSIC:

FIRST PHRASE OF "HOW MILD"

SMITH:

Our stars tonight ... Ginger Rogers and Macdonald Carey!

MUSIC:

SECOND PHRASE OF "HOW MILD"

SMITH:

Our play ... "The Cowboy and the Lady"!

MUSIC:

COMPLETE "HOW MILD"

SMITH:

Our hosts ... the Makers of Camel Cigarettes!

QUARTET:

"How mild,
How mild,
How mild can a cigarette be?
Make the Camel thirty day test,
And you'll see!"

SMITH:

In a coast-to-coast test of hundreds of people who smoked only Camels for thirty days, noted throat specialists reported not one single case of throat irritation due to smoking Camels! Test Camels in your "T-Zone" -- T for tests, T for throat - and see how mild a cigarette can be.

BARCLAY:

Make a note. Remember your throat. Try Camels today!

MUSIC:

FULL INTO PLAY THEME, AND FADE OUT INTO:

SMITH:

And now, while you discover the smoking enjoyment of Camel Cigarettes, for your listening enjoyment, the "Camel Screen Guild Theatre" brings you a delightful and amusing romance - wedding bells and cowbells ringing merrily together, as Mr. Cupid turns on of his neatest tricks!.....The "Camel Guild Players" present "The Cowboy and the Lady"..starring Ginger Rogers and Macdonald Cary with Isabel Jewell!!

MUSIC:

FULL INTO PLAY THEME...AND DOWN, TO HOLD UNDER:

SMITH:

The trouble with Mary is that her name is Smith. Not any old Smith, you understand. Oh no, her father is the wealthy and famous Judge Smith who has dreamed of only one thing all his life - to be nominated for the presidency... Of course, the merest hint of scandal sends the Judge into a tailspin. So when Mary goes to a gambling club, and the club is raided, and the Judge finds out ---

MUSIC:

CUTS

JUDGE:

Mary, this is awful - awful! If the newspapers ever pick this up --!

MARY:

A name like Mary Smith? How could they, Dad? And my picture's never appeared anywhere. They've no idea of what I look like --

JUDGE:

Some reporters can pry out anything. And just as I had that nomination cinched! (DECISIVE) Mary, I've got to get you out of town - tonight - I'll charter a plane --

MARY:

A plane? For where?

JUDGE:

For Florida! Take a maid and butler and open the house - and don't do anything till you hear from me!

MUSIC:

ACCENTS...AND CONTINUES UNDER:

SMITH:

Which explains why Mary is in Florida - slightly out of season - not doing anything, and not liking it, either.

MUSIC:

CUTS

ELLY:

Miss Mary, will you be going out tonight?

MARY:

(GLUM) No, Elly, I'm not going out tonight - again. (A PAUSE) Elly...

ELLY:

Yes, Miss?

MARY:

Elly, do you know any card games at all?

ELLY:

Not very many...Casino, maybe...

MARY:

Oh, I'm crazy about Casino. Would you play with me?

ELLY:

I'd love to, Miss Mary - but - well, you see ....---

MARY:

(GLUM AGAIN) You have a date.

ELLY:

(QUICKLY) I could call and break it, Miss. It's only Shorty - he's in the rodeo.

MARY:

A cowboy?

ELLY:

Yes, Miss.

MARY:

I wouldn't think of letting you break it. Have a good time.

ELLY:

Thank you, Miss. Will there be anything else?

MARY:

No, I don't think so, unless..(SUDDEN) Elly --

ELLY:

Yes, Miss.

MARY:

Elly - has he got a friend?

MUSIC:

ACCENTS...AND CONTINUES UNDER:

SMITH:

Which explains, in turn, how Mary Smith the heiress happens to be going on a date with the maid. A blind date, in fact. And, to Elly, that's rather important.

MUSIC:

CUTS

ELLY:

You see -- a blind date like this, Miss - a fellow might be kinda scared. You gotta sorta help him to --

MARY:

Co-operate?

ELLY:

Yeah! I wouldn't want him to think you're just a cold fish. (CONFUSED) I - I mean ---

MARY:

You mean a cold fish...Elly, do you think I'm a cold fish?

ELLY:

(FLOUNDERS) Why - I - uh - I ---

MARY:

Tell me the truth.

ELLY:

Well, Miss, you don't exactly sizzle.

MARY:

Hmmm...What do you think I should do about it?

ELLY:

Well, I was thinking. Maybe if I gave you some pointers - kinda show you how my system works.

MARY:

You've got a system?

ELLY:

Oh, sure! Say, f'rinstance you decide you want him to kiss you. You always start out by soft-soaping him, see?

MARY:

Flattery, eh? That's maneuver number one?

ELLY:

Correct. And if that don't work, you make him talk about himself. That's number two.

MARY:

But how can he talk and kiss you at the same time?

ELLY:

Well, he can't keep talking forever, can he?

MARY:

I see...And what's maneuver number three?

ELLY:

Oh, that's for emergencies. It's sure-fire, Miss. That's when you tell him a hard luck story.

MARY:

You mean I work on his sympathy?

ELLY:

It's like money in the bank! And then, if you slip in a tear or two, I absolutely guarantee he's yours...What do you say?

MARY:

I say - let's go out and start maneuvers!

MUSIC:

ACCENT CHORD..AND FADE OUT INTO:

SOUND:

STEPS....TWO PEOPLE WALKING

MARY:

(MANEUVERING) It was nice of Elly to take me along tonight, Stretch - and introduce me to you.

STRETCH:

Yeah?

MARY:

And it was nice of you to walk me home.

STRETCH:

Yeah?

MARY:

(THE PITCH) You know, these roads get pretty lonesome at night. I'm glad I've got a man to protect me.

STRETCH:

Yeh!?

MARY:

Especially one who's so tall - and strong.

STRETCH:

Yeh?

MARY:

Yes, I thought you were wonderful in the rodeo tonight. About the best rider I've ever seen.

STRETCH:

Yeh?

MARY:

I got awfully excited when you threw that steer.

STRETCH:

Yeh?

MARY:

I was scared. I screamed. Didn't you hear me?

STRETCH:

Nope!

MARY:

(POURS IT ON) Well, I did! And I'm not ashamed to admit it! I think you're brave - and daring - and - and handsome too! There - what have you got to say to that?

STRETCH:

I think mebbe we better mosey on home.

MUSIC:

ACCENT CHORD...AND FADE OUT INTO:

MARY:

This is it, boys. This is my --

ELLY:

(QUICKLY) This is where we work - Mary and me.

MARY:

Yes...of course...(SOUND: DOOR OPENS) Come on in.

STRETCH:

Mighty fancy place, all right. Mebbe we shoulda gone 'round the back door.

MARY:

This is the back door. (SOUND: DOOR CLOSES) Wait - I'll turn on some lights. (SOUND: SWITCH) There we are.

STRETCH:

Well, I'll be a coyote's uncle! Place is big enough for a rodeo! You mean t' say all this belongs to one man?

MARY:

Yes, it all belongs to my -- (CATCHES SELF) -- my employer, that is.

STRETCH:

Must be pretty rich, I reckon.

MARY:

Rich? It's disgusting. Why, he's so rich that when he breaks a hundred dollar bill - he never even bothers to pick up the pieces!

STRETCH:

You don't say!

MARY:

And he's got influence, too. One of these days he hopes to be President.

STRETCH:

Well, it looks like he can afford it. Say, Shorty, did you ever see a place like----? Shorty? (PAUSE) Well, what d'you know - him and Elly are gone!

MARY:

(INNOCENT) Uh - huh.

STRETCH:

I guess Elly must've had some job to finish.

MARY:

I wouldn't be surprised.

STRETCH:

Say, what do you work at around here?

MARY:

Me? I -- Oh, I'm a lady's maid. Though, of course, right now my lady's away.

STRETCH:

Yeh? What do you do for her when she's here?

MARY:

Lots of things. I brush her hair - I help her dress ---

STRETCH:

Why? Ain't she got sense enough to dress herself? How old is she anyway?

MARY:

About my age.

STRETCH:

Married?

MARY:

Not yet.

STRETCH:

Well, what's she waitin' around for?

MARY:

Maybe she hasn't found the right man.

STRETCH:

Yeah?

MARY:

Or maybe she's found him, but he hasn't found her.

STRETCH:

Yeh?

MARY:

Or maybe he's found her and won't admit it.

STRETCH:

Yeh?

MARY:

(WARMING TO IT) Oh, it could happen, you know. It could happen to anyone. Even to you....don't you think so?

STRETCH:

(AN APPREHENSIVE NOTE) Nope!

MARY:

But it could! You take a man like yourself - you could be sitting here with me - just sort of talking - and for all I know, you might be dying to hold my hand ---

STRETCH:

Huh?

MARY:

(RUSHING ON) Or even take me in your arms - and kiss me and --

STRETCH:

(NERVOUS) Look - I'm sorry - I gotta go.

MARY:

(DISAPPOINTED) Go?

STRETCH:

(RUSHED) Yeh, you see we're shovin' off tonight. The show's goin' on to Galveston - and I gotta put Dusty on the boat - that's my horse, you see. And Dusty won't take orders from no one but me, so - well, you understand - I'm awful sorry, but a horse like Dusty is --

MARY:

(QUIETLY) It's all right, Stretch. I guess Dusty wins.

MUSIC:

SHARP CHORD...AND FADE OUT INTO HARMONICA PLAYING IN FAINT B.G.

ELLY:

(SOTTO) Where is he, Mary? What did you do with him?

MARY:

(SOTTO) Not a thing, Elly. And it wasn't my fault.

ELLY:

You mean - no luck?

MARY:

Not a bit. He's out there on the porch - playing the harmonica and waiting for Shorty to truck on home with him.

ELLY:

Oh, that's too bad. You sure you tried everything?

MARY:

Everything you told me, and a few maneuvers of my own.

ELLY:

Even number three?

MARY:

Number three?

ELLY:

The emergency - you know. The hard luck routine.

MARY:

My goodness, I completely forgot about that! Elly, can I have another chance?

ELLY:

Why not?

MARY:

Well, he wants to leave. He's waiting for Shorty.

ELLY:

Yeah, but Shorty's waiting for me. (FADING) You get out there. I'll keep Shorty down to size.

MARY:

Thanks.

SOUND:

QUICK STEPS

MUSIC:

HARMONICA FADING IN

SOUND:

SCREEN DOOR OPENS, CLOSES

MARY:

Stretch...I told Elly you're waiting. She'll be sending Shorty out...eventually.

MUSIC:

HARMONICA CUTS

STRETCH:

Much obliged.

MUSIC:

HARMONICA RESUMES

MARY:

You don't mind too much - having to wait?

MUSIC:

HARMONICA CUTS

STRETCH:

Nope...

MUSIC:

HARMONICA RESUMES

MARY:

(A PAUSE) You know, I envy you, Stretch. Nothing ever seems to bother you. (SIGHS) I wish I could always take things that way.

MUSIC:

HARMONICA CUTS

STRETCH:

You don't look to me like you've had a tough time.

MUSIC:

HARMONICA RESUMES

MARY:

You don't think so? (A LITTLE SOB) That's funny. That's really very funny...

MUSIC:

HARMONICA CUTS

STRETCH:

What's the matter?

MARY:

(LITTLE CAUGHT SOB)

STRETCH:

Gosh, I'm sorry. I - I didn't mean to ---

MARY:

(CONTROLLED) That's all right, Stretch.

STRETCH:

Yeah, but makin' you cry like that. What's the trouble, huh? If you want to tell me ---

MARY:

No...I wouldn't want to burden you.

STRETCH:

Why not? Might be good to get it off your chest. Maybe I can help.

MARY:

You're very kind.

STRETCH:

What is it, Mary? Is it your family?

MARY:

Uh-huh. Mostly my father.

STRETCH:

Your father?

MARY:

His drinking.

STRETCH:

Oh - his drinking.

MARY:

Night after night...sometimes for weeks without stopping. He - he hasn't worked a single day in twelve years.

STRETCH:

Twelve years! Who supports him? (NO ANSWER) Oh, I see... Any more in the family?

MARY:

There's - there's five of us children including me.

STRETCH:

Don't any of the others work? (PAUSE) Why not?

MARY:

They're so young..all girls.

STRETCH:

Gosh. Four kid sisters, and you support 'em all.

MARY:

Oh, I don't mind. They're all such darlings. Only sometimes...Well, last year, for instance, when Dotty and Henriette both had the measles...

STRETCH:

At the same time?

MARY:

And Georgia had the flu - and I was out of work - and the bills were piling up and - well, sometimes I just don't know how I can go on.

STRETCH:

(GENTLY) Gee...you poor kid...

MARY:

(SOFTLY) You're so understanding.

STRETCH:

And you're mighty sweet - mighty sweet. (A PAUSE...SOFTLY) Say...you kiss like you really mean it.

MARY:

(SOFTLY) Maybe I do. Would you like to try again?

SOUND:

SLIGHT PAUSE...SCREEN DOOR BANGS OPEN

SHORTY:

(COMING IN) Hey, Stretch, it's time for us to vamoose. (NO ANSWER) Stretch! (NO ANSWER) Stretch, don't you think we better be...(NO ANSWER) Say, why don't you two go down by the swimming pool? It's cooler there.

MUSIC:

ACCENT CHORD...AND FADE OUT INTO

MARY:

(SOFTLY) You know, Shorty was right. It is much cooler here by the pool.

STRETCH:

(DREAMILY) Yeh...

MARY:

And the orange blossoms smell so nice, too.

STRETCH:

Yeh. (RUEFUL) For awhile I thought it was that stuff I got on my hair.

MARY:

If it is, I like it.

STRETCH:

Sometimes got half the dogs in town pestering me.

MARY:

There aren't any dogs following you now.

STRETCH:

I guess mebbe I didn't put enough on.

MARY:

(LAUGHS)

STRETCH:

Look, Mary. We're getting' on that boat for Galveston tonight, and I was sorta thinkin' to myself - I mean - well - you ever been out to Montana, Mary?

MARY:

No.

STRETCH:

It's beautiful. A girl like you'd be crazy about it. And I was figurin' - if it's okay with you - well - uh - I started to build a house before I come out with the show - and I was thinkin' Ma Hawkins, she's the one that feeds us on the ranch, she could put you up until I got it finished - and then after a while we could change it around - anyway you liked - and - and --

MARY:

(DISTURBED) That - that sounds wonderful, Stretch. Maybe next summer - when I get my vacation...

STRETCH:

Next summer?

MARY:

(A RUSH) Well, I couldn't get away before then! My fath-- my employer - I mean - she needs me here. But we could have some more wonderful evenings like this. I've had a wonderful time, haven't you? And I was just thinking to myself - I'd be fortunate if I met such a nice fellow again - the next blind date I go out on.

STRETCH:

The next blind date?

MARY:

Oh, you don't know what trouble a girl can have. Sometimes you meet the most awful people --

STRETCH:

(SLOWLY) No...I guess I was wrong.

MARY:

Wrong?

STRETCH:

For a while tonight I was thinkin' you were on the level - that all this really meant something to you.

MARY:

It does. I've never had so much fun!

STRETCH:

All those kisses - they were just fun, huh?

MARY:

But, Stretch --

STRETCH:

I was thinkin' at last I'd met a girl who didn't measure things by how many men she'd kissed in a week. As I said before - I was wrong.

MARY:

Please, Stretch --

STRETCH:

If you don't mind, I think I'll get goin'. I kinda feel like I need a bath.

MARY:

Stretch --

STRETCH:

No...on second thought, I think you're the one who needs the bath.

MARY:

(PANIC) No! Don't you dare!

STRETCH:

Oh yes, I'd dare.

MARY:

(STRUGGLING) Put me down! I said, put me -- (SCREAMS) St-r-e-t-ch!

SOUND:

TERRIFIC SPLASH

MUSIC:

SHARP ACCENT...AND FADE OUT INTO

MARY:

(TEETH CHATTERING)

ELLY:

You better get out of them wet clothes fast. Here, let me help you, Miss.

MARY:

(CHATTERING) Th-th-thanks.

ELLY:

That lunkhead - tossing you in the pool like that! I'd like to catch up with him just once! I'd tell him a thing or two - or three! I'd say --

MARY:

Not now, Elly. I haven't time. Get out my traveling suit - the gray one --

ELLY:

(BLANK) Your gray suit, Miss? Where you going?

MARY:

(GRINS) I'm catching that boat for Galveston.

ELLY:

(AGHAST) Galveston....You mean you're going after Stretch?

MARY:

Yes - I've got some things to tell him, too.

MUSIC:

IN FULL FOR CURTAIN

(APPLAUSE)

 

SMITH:

Now a brief intermission and time for a smoke. Are you enjoying a mild cigarette?

QUARTET:

How mild,
How mild,
How mild can a cigarette be?
Smoke Camels and see!

SMITH:

A young man whose star is on the rise in Hollywood is Mario Lanza. His singing is magnificent and he wants to keep it that way. Here's what Mario Lanza told us about cigarettes.

EDWARDS:

"A singer must be very careful about his throat and the cigarettes he smokes must be mild. I smoke Camels because I've found their mildness agrees with my throat!"

BARCLAY:

Yes, Camels are the choice of so many people whose voices are their fortune --- people like sportscaster Bill Stern, Metropolitan Opera Star Nadine Conner, Comedian Peter Lind Hayes. Try Camels in your "T- Zone" -- T for taste and T for throat. You'll see how flavorful and how mild a cigarette can be!

SMITH:

In a coast-to-coast test, hundreds of people smoked only Camels for thirty days. Each week, their throats were examined by noted throat specialists who reported: Not one single case of throat irritation due to smoking Camels. That's how mild Camels are!

BARCLAY:

Make a note. Remember your throat. Try Camels today!

SMITH:

Camel Cigarettes now present the Screen Guild Players in Act II of "The Cowboy and the Lady" starring Macdonald Carey and Ginger Rogers with Isabel Jewell.

MUSIC:

FULL INTO PLAY THEME...AND DOWN, TO HOLD UNDER:

SMITH:

Well, you've probably gotten the idea that Mary is a girl who goes after what she wants. And now she wants Stretch. So she follows him aboard the boat and that leads them both to maneuver number four. (MUSIC CUTS)

CAPTAIN:

By virtue of the authority vested in me as captain of this ship...I now pronounce you man and wife.

MUSIC:

RESUMES .... AND HOLDS UNDER:

SMITH:

Now Mary and Stretch are in a world of their own. Arrived in Galveston, they're divinely happy. And they might have continued right on that way - if Don Ameche had never invented the telephone.

MUSIC:

CUTS

ELLY:

(FILTER) Oh, Miss Mary, I'm so glad I reached you! I've been trying to get you everywhere!

MARY:

Why, Elly? What's the matter?

ELLY:

(FILTER) There's a telegram here from your father, Miss! He's coming down to Florida!

MARY:

To Florida! He can't! He can't come right now!

ELLY:

(FILTER) I know he can't. But he is. And he's bringing a lot of politicians along - and that Mr. Henderson who controls the nomination and he's gonna expect you to entertain...Miss Mary, you better rush right back.

MARY:

But, Elly, that's impossible!

ELLY:

(FILTER) Now, Miss Mary, look ----

MARY:

I'm sorry about Dad - I hate to let him down - but I can't come back now because -- because ---

ELLY:

(FILTER) Because why?

MARY:

I'm married!

ELLY:

(FILTER) Married... (VOICE TRAILING) You mean you're....

SOUND:

DULL CRASH...AS HEARD OVER PHONE

MARY:

Elly! Elly, what's happened? What's wrong? Elly, this is no time to faint! This is Long Distance!

MUSIC:

SHARP CHORD...AND FADE OUT INTO:

SOUND:

DOOR CLOSES, SLIGHTLY OFF

STRETCH:

(COMING IN...GRAVE) Hello, Mary...Hiya, honey. [How are ya, honey?]

MARY:

(WEARILY) I'm all right, Stretch.

STRETCH:

Don't sound much like it. Anything wrong?

MARY:

No...it's -- it's been so hot all afternoon.

STRETCH:

Fellow who called you to the phone told me you had a long distance call. Any trouble at home?

MARY:

No...

STRETCH:

Still, I guess you worry about your father.

MARY:

Well -- at times.

STRETCH:

And your sisters, too. So I been thinkin', Mary. If we could get 'em out to the ranch, we could take care of 'em some way.

MARY:

Oh, no, Stretch. Don't you worry about that.

STRETCH:

I got to. I was thinkin' that mebbe -- well, mebbe you better go back and see they get settled.

MARY:

Go back ---?

STRETCH:

Yeah, I figger if you go back and get 'em fixed up, you can be out to the ranch by Tuesday.

MARY:

The ranch? I don't understand...

STRETCH:

This ain't no kind of life for you. For me, either. I'm quittin' the rodeo end of this week. And I'll be home by Tuesday. 'Course, if you don't like the idea....

MARY:

I love it, Stretch! (ADDS SOFTLY) And Mr. Willoughby--

STRETCH:

(SOFTLY) Yeah?

MARY:

More than anything, I love you.

STRETCH:

(SIMPLY) You ain't never gonna regret it, Mary. Come on, I'll get you down to the train. Remember, I'll meet you at the ranch on Tuesday.

MUSIC:

SHARP CHORD...AND FADE OUT INTO:

SOUND:

HAMMER, SAW

STRETCH:

(COMING IN) Hiya, fellas. How you doin'?

CARPENTER:

Okay, Stretch. (SOUND: EFFECTS OUT) What brings you up here again? Somethin' on your mind?

STRETCH:

Oh, no --- no --- just lookin' over the house again. With a girl like Mary, you can't be too careful. Got a few things to figger out. You go right ahead.

CARPENTER:

Sure.

SOUND:

EFFECTS START...HOLD UNDER, LOW

STRETCH:

Lemme see now...the fireplace is gonna be here -- and the mantel about here. And Mary's chair oughta go about here. No, maybe a little nearer the fire...Yeah, that'll be better, won't it, Mary?

SOUND:

EFFECTS OUT

CARPENTER:

Huh?

STRETCH:

Nothin'. I was just talkin'.

CARPENTER:

Oh.

SOUND:

EFFECTS RESUME...THEN SLOW DOWN AND STOP BELOW

STRETCH:

Lemme see now...The window oughta be about here...yeah, just about. Mary, what d'you think? Window okay? Fine, fine...Say! It's gettin' on time for chow. What d'you say we eat, Mrs. Willoughby?

MA: (SLIGHTLY OFF...TART) Chow ain't ready and I think you're loco.

STRETCH:

(SHEEPISH) Aw, Ma, that ain't no way to talk. I was just makin' things up -- sorta playin' house.

MA:

Fine goings on when there's work to be done. Here! Here's a telegram just come for you.

STRETCH:

Telegram! Gosh, maybe the train is early, huh? (SOUND: RIPPING ENVELOPE) What time is it, anyway?

MA:

'Bout two o'clock. What time's that gal supposed to get here? (NO ANSWER) You hear me, Stretch? I asked what time...

STRETCH:

(DULL) She ain't comin', Ma. Not today!

MA:

Must've been delayed. That telegram say when she will be here?

STRETCH:

No...all it says is next week...maybe.

MUSIC:

IN FOR BRIDGE...AND FADE OUT INTO:

MARY:

Elly, I know it's been difficult - only two into help. But you know how much this means to my father.

ELLY:

Oh, I ain't worried about myself. I don't mind the work. But what about you, Miss? When d'ya figure you'll get away?

MARY:

I wired Stretch again this morning. I told him next week sure.

ELLY:

You told him next week sure last week. He's gonna smell a rat.

MARY:

But, Elly, those politicians of father's ---

ELLY:

Same thing.

MARY:

I'd better get in there. Are the cocktails ready?

ELLY:

Yes, Miss. A lot of 'em. I figure if we give 'em enough to drink, they won't even know what the dinner's like.

MARY:

A few more days of this and I won't care. -- Nomination or no nomination. (FADING) Start serving, Elly. I've got to go in.

SOUND:

DOOR CLOSES, OFF

ELLY:

(GRUMBLES) Fine thing, all right. (SOUND: GLASSES CLINK) Them politicians can drink and eat more than anybody I ever --

SOUND:

DOOR BUZZES

ELLY:

Well, who's that now?

SOUND:

STEPS...DOOR OPENS

ELLY:

Look here, Mister, if you're trying to sell any brushes or - (WEAKLY) - Oh...

STRETCH:

Hiya, Elly. Where's my wife?

ELLY:

(EYEING) Your - your wife?

SOUND:

DOOR CLOSES

STRETCH:

Yeah, I been gettin' kinda worried about her. Thought I'd better come and see. Is she all right?

ELLY:

Oh, yes - I mean -- well, I don't know exactly. You see, she don't work here any more.

STRETCH:

Well, where does she live?

ELLY:

I - I don't really know.

STRETCH:

That's funny. You're a good friend of hers, aren't you?

ELLY:

Oh, sure - sure - that is -- Look, you better get outta here. I could lose my job. The - the boss is here!

STRETCH:

The boss, huh? Say, maybe she knows where Mary lives.

ELLY:

(QUICKLY) Oh, no, she don't. I'm sure she don't.

STRETCH:

Well, tell her I want to see her, will you?

ELLY:

Huh? Oh, I couldn't - I'm sorry -

STRETCH:

Say, you're actin' awful funny. Maybe I better ask her myself.

ELLY:

(QUICKLY) Oh, no! You can't!

STRETCH:

Who says I can't?

SOUND:

STEPS

ELLY:

(WILDLY) I say you can't! You can't go in there! If you do, I'll ---

SOUND:

DOOR OPENS...BUZZ OF VOICES, OFF

ELLY:

'Situations Wanted' here I come!

STRETCH:

Say, what's Mary doing with all them people? I thought she wasn't here no ---

JUDGE:

(OFF, SHARP) Yes? Yes, what is it, young man?

STRETCH:

I'm sorry, Mister. I didn't mean to bust in like this. I was looking for somebody.

JUDGE:

(OFF) I'm Judge Smith. This is my home. Apparently you've made a mistake.

STRETCH:

(SLOWLY) Yeah, a big mistake...an awful mistake.

SOUND:

STEPS...SLOW, DETERMINED

MARY:

(OFF) Stretch! (COMING IN) Wait, Stretch - I've got to talk to you! You've got to let me explain! Please, darling, - please!

STRETCH:

Lady's maid, huh? You were braggin'.

SOUND:

DOOR SLAMS

MARY:

Elly! Elly, he's gone! What'll I do?

ELLY:

Miss, this is one time I wouldn't know. I don't think my system covers this.

MUSIC:

IN FOR BRIDGE...AND FADE OUT INTO:

SOUND:

HAMMER, SAW

STRETCH:

(COMING IN...VERY GLUM) Hiya fellas. How you doin'?

SOUND:

EFFECTS OUT

CARPENTER:

Okay, Stretch - fine. Ought to have the roof on by tomorrow.

STRETCH:

(MISERABLE) I - I just got back...thought I better come up and tell you. You might as well quit. Just - well, leave it go the way it is.

MARY:

You mean like this? Unfinished?

STRETCH:

(UNBELIEVING) Mary?

MARY:

Stretch, I'm willing to rough it out here, but don't you think we ought to have a roof?

STRETCH:

(HARD) How did you get here?

MARY:

Oh, I had a long talk with my father. He chartered a private plane for me. You know, he's quite a man for chartering planes. It amounts to a hobby.

STRETCH:

(HARSH) Why did you come here? What do you want?

MARY:

(SINCERE NOW) That's what I tried to explain, but you wouldn't let me. This is what I want, Stretch. This house, this country, this life together. (VOICE BREAKS A LITTLE) Only - only I can't keep running after you forever. Stretch, don't send me away again...please!

STRETCH:

(A SLIGHT PAUSE, THEN CRISP) All right, fellas, what are you waitin' for? Come on, get busy - you got a house to build!

CARPENTER:

Okay, Stretch.

SOUND:

SAW RESUME

MARY:

(HAPPILY) Stretch ---!

STRETCH:

Gosh, Mary, it's gonna be swell!

MARY:

(LAUGHING) Yes, but darling, I've been looking over the house. You'd better have them add another room.

STRETCH:

(PUZZLED) Another room? What for?

MARY:

Well, for the moment, we'll just call him Maneuver Number Five.

MUSIC:

IN FULL FOR CURTAIN

(APPLAUSE)

 

SMITH:

Our stars, Ginger Rogers and Macdonald Carey will return to the microphone in just a moment.

BARCLAY:

What cigarette do you smoke, doctor?

SMITH:

That question was asked of one hundred thirteen thousand, five hundred and ninety-seven doctors -- doctors in every branch of medicine, doctors in all parts of the country.

BARCLAY:

What cigarette do you smoke, doctor?

SMITH:

The brand named most was Camel! Yes, according to this nationwide survey, more doctors smoke Camels than any other cigarette!

BARCLAY:

Try Camels in your "T-Zone" -- T for taste, T for throat -- and see how much you enjoy Camel's rich, full flavor and cool, cool mildness!

SMITH:

Now, before our curtain falls, one final bow to our stars. Miss Rogers, Mr. Carey, Miss Jewell -- thanks for a completely delightful half hour.

ROGERS:

Well, Verne, the thanks should all be on our side, I think. Everyone in Hollywood knows how much this radio program contributes to the Motion Picture Relief Fund, and its Country House and Hospital. It's the finest cause in our industry, and all of us are proud to share in it...Mac, don't you agree?

CAREY:

Yep.

ROGERS:

(LAUGHING) Don't tell me you're still in character?

CAREY:

Yep.

ROGERS:

And that's all you're going to say?

CAREY:

Nope...Got a right important word to say about our sponsor. Friends, the many veterans and servicemen who are still in hospitals like to know that they have not been forgotten. Each week, the makers of Camels send gifts of Camels to them as a token of remembrance. This week the Camels go to Veterans Hospitals, Excelsior Springs, Missouri and Bath, New York...U.S. Army Station Hospital, Fort Benning, Georgia...U.S. Naval Hospital, Chelsea, Massachusetts.

JEWELL:

Happy smoking, fellows. Your free cigarettes are on their way to you now with the compliments of Camels.

(APPLAUSE)

 

MUSIC:

THEME

SMITH:

Remember - every Thursday night - the Camel Screen Guild Theatre! And next week another gala half hour, filled with music, laughter, and a sprightly romance, as Betty Grable and Dennis Morgan set sober old Boston right on its ear!... Yes, it's "The Shocking Miss Pilgrim" starring Betty Grable and Dennis Morgan! Don't miss it for anything!

BARCLAY:

AND for more fun and hilarity, don't miss Camel Cigarettes' other great show over these same stations. Tomorrow night - the Jimmy Durante Show with Don Ameche and Vera Vague!

SMITH:

The Camel Screen Guild Theatre is directed by Bill Lawrence. The adaptations are by Harry Kronman. "The Cowboy and the Lady" was produced as a motion picture by Samuel Goldwyn, whose latest production, "Our Very Own" will soon be released.

BARCLAY:

Ginger Rogers can currently be seen in "Perfect Strangers", a Warner Brothers production. Macdonald Carey will next appear in the Pine-Thomas production for Paramount, "The Lawless".

SMITH:

And remember - next Thursday night -- The Camel Screen Guild Theatre presents "The Shocking Miss Pilgrim" starring Betty Grable and Dennis Morgan.

This is Verne Smith speaking.