CECIL:

Hullo, Sa-- Uh-oh. You've started putting on your costume.

SALLY:

Yes, I was just starting. I heard you coming, and ran down to let you in. (GIGGLE)

CECIL:

(CHUCKLES) I'll bet your uncle looks funny when he's got that nightgown on.

SALLY:

Goodness, but it IS big. It swallows me. Come on with me. (STARTS LEADING HIM UPSTAIRS)

CECIL:

All right, let's go.

SALLY:

But it's too big on me. I keep tripping all the time.

CECIL:

Oh, wait til you put the pasteboard wings on your shoulders. (CHUCKLES) Oh, you'll get First Prize! You're all set! You got your nice, white, flowing robe...

SALLY:

Yes, that's just the trouble. It flows all over the place. I'm just sure I'm going to trip, and I don't see how I'm gonna dance.

CECIL:

What does your uncle wear such big nightgowns for?

SALLY:

Oh, he doesn't. It's just that I'm so much smaller than he is. C'mon in here, Cecil. (LEADS HIM INTO HER ROOM)

CECIL:

(SEES HIS COSTUME) Oh, is that mine? Is that what I wear?

SALLY:

(GIGGLE) Yes. It's an old dress of mine. I've got everything for you. All you have to do is get in it.

CECIL:

(UNEASY CHUCKLE) Yeah. That's all. Hey, this is a good dress, Sally. I'm liable to wreck it.

SALLY:

Oh, no you won't. Oh, it doesn't matter anyhow. Here. Here are some safety pins. Pin my wings on first. (GIGGLE) Then, we'll dress you.

CECIL:

All right. Hold still. (PINNING HER WINGS ON) It would be awful if you got in the rain, and your pasteboard wings fell off. (CHUCKLING) You'd be a fallen angel.

SALLY:

(GIGGLE) I had to cut them out of the pasteboard that the laundry puts in Uncle Thomas' shirts. (GIGGLE)

CECIL:

(STILL PINNING WINGS ON) They look pretty hot. They're gonna flop around a whole lot, though.

SALLY:

Well, sure, but that'll be all right. (GIGGLE)

CECIL:

(FINISHES PINNING) There you are... Gabriel. (CHUCKLES) You're all finished. Do you feel like an angel?

SALLY:

Thanks. (GIGGLE) Now, we have to dress YOU.

CECIL:

(BEAT) What do I have to take off?

SALLY:

Well, everything, except your... mm, your, well, whatever you wear underneath.

CECIL:

All right. Where do I go, little angel?

SALLY:

(GIGGLE) Get behind this screen.

CECIL:

All right. (GOES THERE. SLIGHTLY OFF-MIKE) Where can I hang my things?

SALLY:

Oh, just drop 'em on the floor. We'll hang them up later.

CECIL:

(NERVOUS) Okay. (TAKES OFF CLOTHES) Throw me over the dress.

SALLY:

(THROWS DRESS TO HIM) There. (GIGGLE) There's the dress. Have you got it?

CECIL:

Yeah. Right outta my head. How do I get into it?

SALLY:

Slip it over your head.

CECIL:

Can't I climb into it?

SALLY:

Oh, no. Slip it over your shoulders.

CECIL:

Which is which end?

SALLY:

Oh, Cecil, you know which is the top and which is the bottom.

CECIL:

I-I mean, which is the front o' the crazy dress, and which is the back?

SALLY:

Well, it buttons down the back.

CECIL:

(GETTING INTO DRESS) All right. Thanks.

SALLY:

(GIGGLE) How are you making it, Cecil?

CECIL:

Time out. It's caught on my shoulder.

SALLY:

Shall I help you?

CECIL:

No! Stay where you are! (SOTTO) This darn thing... (MUTTERS TO HIMSELF)

SALLY:

(GIGGLE) Oh, it's really very simple. You just pull it down.

CECIL:

I got it. Wait til I put these stockings on, and I'll be right out.

SALLY:

Be sure and put them on right. (GIGGLE)

CECIL:

Hooray! They fit. Whose are they? Yours?

SALLY:

No. They're the cook's.

CECIL:

Steady yourself. Here I come.

SALLY:

(GIGGLING) Oh, Cecil! My goodness!

CECIL:

What are you-- What are you laughing at?

SALLY:

(GIGGLING) Oh, you.

CECIL:

All right, all right. I'll just take this darn ol' dress off! I didn't wanna go like this, in the first place.

SALLY:

Aw, no, Cecil. You look just darling.

CECIL:

I don't wanna look THAT way.

SALLY:

I was just laughing because (GIGGLE) at first, you looked kind of silly.

CECIL:

Well, I couldn't look half as silly as I feel.

SALLY:

Wait. I'll hook ya up in the back. (DOING UP THE DRESS) Stand still! (GIGGLE) Well, how does it fit, Cecil?

CECIL:

Well, it's long enough... but it's kinda tight under the arms. I'm kind of afraid to breathe.

SALLY:

Oh, that's all right. It'll stretch.

CECIL:

I hope I don't have to sneeze. It'll just too bad, dress. And too bad for me.

SALLY:

(FINISHES DOING UP DRESS) There. Now. Put on the slippers, and see if THEY fit.

CECIL:

(PUTTING ON SLIPPERS) Hey, why couldn't I wear my own shoes?

SALLY:

Oh, Cecil, they'd look funny.

CECIL:

Oh, they would? They're brand-new shoes.

SALLY:

I know, but they're not girl's shoes. Do they fit?

CECIL:

(WALKS A COUPLE OF STEPS) They're a little tight. But I can wear them, if I can keep my balance.

SALLY:

(GIGGLE) Oh, fine, Cecil. (GIGGLE) You're going to take the First Prize. (GIGGLE)

CECIL:

Oh, I sure feel silly. I wish I didn't promise you I'd go, dressed as a girl.

SALLY:

Oh, Cecil, you're going to look so cute!

CECIL:

Yeah, that's just what I'm afraid of.

SALLY:

Now, come over to the dresser, while I put some powder on you.

CECIL:

(SARCASTIC) Oh, you're gonna put powder on me, huh?

SALLY:

Well, sure. And rouge. And fix your hair.

CECIL:

Listen, Sally. I'll wear your clothes, just to please ya. I'll run the chance of being razzed for the rest of my life. I'll choke to death in one o' your dresses, just because you want me to. But you can't ask me to let you put paint on me!

SALLY:

Oh, Cecil, of course I have to fix you up. Don't be foolish, now.

CECIL:

I'm sorry, Sally. But the party is off.

SALLY:

But, Cecil, you don't look right. I'm just going to touch up your eyelashes, and rouge your lips.

CECIL:

(SARCASTIC) That's all. Just that. Let go, Sally!

SALLY:

(WHEEDLING) Now, Cecil, you've been so nice about it all, so far. Please don't go and spoil a nice party for me. Please.

CECIL:

I don't need that on me.

SALLY:

Yes, you do. Can't you trust me, Cecil? I wanna make you look right. Remember, this is just a costume party.

CECIL:

Ohhh... All right. Go ahead. Do your worst. Aw, I've got this much to be thankful for: None of MY friends'll be at this ol' party.

SALLY:

Oh, I knew you'd be an angel about it!

CECIL:

You're the angel tonight. I'm the rag and the bone and a hank o' hair. Hey, how about my hair, Sally? I hope you haven't got a wig I have to wear.

SALLY:

No, I'll just fix your own hair. You'll be a girl with a boyish bob. (GIGGLE)

CECIL:

Oh. That's what I am, huh? (SEES POWDER PUFF) Hey, what's that??? What are ya gonna do?

SALLY:

(GIGGLE) It's powder. Close your eyes, while I powder your face. (HE DOES) That's right. (STARTS POWDERING HIS FACE)

CECIL:

I'm simple-minded to have ever agreed to this. (SHE FINISHES POWDERING) All right now?

SALLY:

Yes. Now, next, your lips. You must have red lips. Hold them. (HE TRIES) No... Cecil, like this. (PURSES HER LIPS. HE DOES IT TOO.) That's right. (GIGGLE. STARTS PUTTING LIPSTICK ON HIM)

CECIL:

(WITH PURSED LIPS) The lipstick goes on next?

SALLY:

There, now. (SURVEYING HER WORK) Oh, that's fine. Oh, don't lick it, Cecil! Don't!

CECIL:

(SMACKING HIS LIPS, AND TASTING THEM) Mmm... Ooh, it tastes good! I like it!

SALLY:

Now, your eyes. Oh, yes. Earrings. (GIGGLE) You MUST have earrings!

CECIL:

Aw, don't put any earrings on me! I'm liable to lose 'em.

SALLY:

Hold still. It won't matter if you DO lose them. I got them at the five-and-ten. (STARTS PUTTING AN EARRING ON HIM)

CECIL:

Ouch! What the heck are you trying to do? That hurts.

SALLY:

There. That won't slip off. Now, for the other ear. (STARTS PUTTING OTHER EARRING ON HIM)

CECIL:

Well, I'm glad I'm not dressed as a cannibal girl.

SALLY:

Why, Cecil? (GIGGLE) There. Oh, that looks fine!

CECIL:

Well, you'd wanna put rings in my nose.

SALLY:

Oh, Cecil, you look better, every minute!

CECIL:

(SARCASTIC LAUGH) Yeah, and FEEL worse. The shoes squeeze me. The dress chokes me. The earrings pinch me. All I need now is to have a pin come loose and stick me.

SALLY:

Oh, don't be a baby. Now, I have to fix your eyes up. Now, look up, while I put this on your eyelashes. (REACHES FOR THE CAKE-MASCARA, AND TAKES OUT ITS TINY BRUSH)

CECIL:

What's the little toothbrush for?

SALLY:

Hold still. Look up.

CECIL:

(LOOKS UP) Go ahead. All I need to finish this, is to have my eyes put out.

SALLY:

(GIGGLES, AS SHE MASCARAS HIS LASHES) Now, that's fine. (HE RUBS HIS EYES) Don't rub it, Cecil. Don't!

CECIL:

Well, it feels funny.

SALLY:

Oh, it looks great! Now, for your eyebrows...

CECIL:

Oh, ye gods, does this go on for years and years???

SALLY:

Oh, stop crying! Let's hurry, or we'll never get started!

CECIL:

Well, the finish can't be far off. Have you thought of any other device of torture yet?

SALLY:

Now, stand, while I look at you. (HE DOES) Hmmm... No, I don't think I'll rouge your cheeks; they're pink enough. (HAS IDEA) Oh, yes. I know. Wait. (GOES TO GET SOMETHING)

CECIL:

I knew it. I knew you'd think o' something else. You've got on the wrong costume. You shouldn't be dressed as an angel.

SALLY:

(GIGGLE) What SHOULD I be dressed as, Cecil?

CECIL:

Well, I have an idea, but I won't say it.

SALLY:

This is all I was going to do. You have to have some beads. Hold your head down. I want to put several strings of beads around your neck.

CECIL:

(LOWERS HIS HEAD, AS SHE PUTS NECKLACES ON HIM) I haven't enough to weigh me down. No... You have to go put beads on me, and weigh me down some more.

SALLY:

Oh, Cecil, don't act like it's something to be ashamed of to be a girl!

CECIL:

Well, it's the last time I'LL ever be one.

SALLY:

You really don't like it? Why, you look just grand, Cecil!

CECIL:

I hate it. And I know I look like something that the cat drug in.

SALLY:

Well, that's all. You're all set. We can go now.

CECIL:

Good. I was kinda waiting for a pot of boiling oil.

SALLY:

Cecil, come over here to this full-sized mirror, and see how you look.

CECIL:

I don't wanna see how I look.

SALLY:

Oh, please, Cecil. Then, we'll have to hurry. (HE GRUDGINGLY GOES TO MIRROR) (GIGGLE) That's right. How do you like it?

CECIL:

(LOOKS IN MIRROR. PLEASANTLY SURPRISED) Hey... Hey, I look pretty good, don't I? Ohhh, Mammy! Oh, what a hot-looking outfit I make! Well, kid... (CHUCKLES. TO SALLY) Oh, you look like my guardian angel, standing behind me.

SALLY:

All right, Cecil. Don't stand there all day. We have to hurry.

CECIL:

Aw, there's no hurry! I wanna look at myself a while. (SURVEYS HIS REFLECTION) Hey, I think I look better'n you do! I-I'm a little bit bony, but (CHUCKLES) not so bad. (SHE PULLS HIM AWAY) Hey, let go o' me, Sally! Don't drag me away! I wanna get an eyful o' me! Hey, I wanna look some more. (FADING) Don't!