ANNOUNCER:

A Hallmark Card will best express your perfect taste, your thoughtfulness.

MUSIC:

THEME ... THEN TO ACCOMPANY CHORUS--

CHORUS:

Welcome now to our show!
Here's a friend you all know!
Charlotte Greenwood
Is with us again!

MUSIC:

UP AND OUT

ANNOUNCER:

The Hallmark Charlotte Greenwood Show, brought to you this Sunday and every Sunday at this time by the makers of Hallmark Greeting Cards! And here is our star, the lovable lady of stage and screen, Charlotte Greenwood!

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

MUSIC:

INTRODUCTION ... THEN OUT BEHIND--

ANNOUNCER:

And now to the office of the Lakeview Post-Dispatch. That's the newspaper which let Charlotte start as a reporter so she can make a movie, has been hinting ever since that she'd make a move, and as usual we find her on the phone talking long distance to her manager in Hollywood, and she's saying--

CHARLOTTE:

(INTO PHONE) Yes, I know, Roger; I should have told you sooner. Mm hm. But I've been busy with my Christmas bopping. --- That's right, "bopping." The stores are so crowded you can't get near a counter till you knock somebody down. ... I was in the store yesterday. It was so crowded, the floorwalkers were wearing pressed gardenias. ... What? Don't I expect Santa Claus to bring me something and put something in my stocking? Now, Roger, how can Santa put a present in a bottle of leg makeup? ... What's that? That's right, I'm leaving for Hollywood this afternoon. -- (FLUFFS HER LINE) No, I have to take-- I have to-- I have to go to a bus and-- I have to take a bus to a town near here and catch a train. (AD LIBS) I got kind of mixed up there, Roger, a bit, but you understand what I mean, don't ya, huh? ... Yes. I've sent you a little Christmas present, Roger. Yes, a diamond stickpin. Uh huh, a real diamond. Yeah, you'll know the package when it arrives: it's marked "Glass"! ... Roger, I have to hang up now. Here comes Mr. Anderson, the city editor. Oh, he's such a nice man and he's just brimming over with Christmas spirit, if you know what I mean. Bye. (CHUCKLES)

SOUND:

RECEIVER DOWN

ANDERSON:

(APPROACHES, MERRILY) Well, well, well! Isn't it wonderful?! (LAUGHS HEARTILY, IN BG)

CHARLOTTE:

Hello, Mr. Anderson! Yes, it certainly is!

ANDERSON:

Marvelous! Ha ha! Ha haaaa!

CHARLOTTE:

Yes, indeed. After all, there's nothing like Christmas!

ANDERSON:

Christmas? Who's talking about Christmas? I mean the fact that you're leaving! (LAUGHS HEARTILY) ...

CHARLOTTE:

Now, you act as if you want me to leave.

ANDERSON:

Who, me? Ho ho ho, no. How could you possibly entertain a thought like that?

CHARLOTTE:

Well, I'm glad I'm wrong, Mr. Anderson.

ANDERSON:

Yes. Not that the thought of your leaving isn't entertaining. (LAUGHS HEARTILY) Say, you're sure now that you understand how to go? First, take the bus that leaves for Parkingwell, Mound City, and points west. And then you simply, er--

CHARLOTTE:

Well, what's the difference?

ANDERSON:

What difference?

CHARLOTTE:

Which way the bus points. ...

ANDERSON:

No, no, no -- you simply go down to the bus station. And there you get a ticket for Parkingwell.

CHARLOTTE:

Not me. I always get a ticket for parking wrong. ...

ANDERSON:

And then you, er--

CHARLOTTE:

It's just like sitting in a chair with a cracked seat.

ANDERSON:

And then-- (DOUBLE TAKE) ... Say, what in the name of common sense are you talking about? What is like sitting down in a chair with a cracked seat?

CHARLOTTE:

Parking. If you don't do it just right, you get pinched. ...

ANDERSON:

Now, look, Charlotte, Parkingwell is the name of the town -- the railroad junction. And be sure your bus ticket reads "Lakeview to Parkingwell" and not "Parkingwell to Lakeview."

CHARLOTTE:

Yeah, I know, so I won't have to ride backwards.

ANDERSON:

Yes, so you won't have to-- No! No! No!! ...

CHARLOTTE:

Mr. Anderson, now, you mustn't shout that way. You know you'll make yourself hoarse.

ANDERSON:

Well, all right, but stop interrupting me. Now at Parkingwell you get off the bus, go to the railroad station-- Oh, and, say, you better take along something to eat. You know, on Christmas Eve the lunchroom at the station might be closed.

CHARLOTTE:

(YES) Mm-hmm, I've got a half a dozen chocolate eclairs.

ANDERSON:

Chocolate eclairs?

CHARLOTTE:

(YES) Mm-hmm.

ANDERSON:

I'd just as soon eat K-rations.

CHARLOTTE:

Well, they both go to the front. ...

ANDERSON:

All right, all right. Now what bus are you taking out of Lakeview?

CHARLOTTE:

The next one leaves at six o'clock.

ANDERSON:

(DISAPPOINTED) Isn't there one before that?

CHARLOTTE:

(CHUCKLES) No, since the war they've stopped running one bus before the next one.

ANDERSON:

I see what you mean. (DOUBLE TAKE) ... They've stopped running the next bus--?

CHARLOTTE:

Yes.

ANDERSON:

(EXPLODES) Now wait a minute! I don't get this!

CHARLOTTE:

Now, you see, I told you what would happen now, if you shout, you're hoarse.

SOUND:

PHONE RINGS ... RECEIVER UP

ANDERSON:

(INTO PHONE) Your horse speaking. ... No! I mean, this is Anderson! (BEAT) Okay, I'll tell her.

SOUND:

RECEIVER DOWN

ANDERSON:

Your taxi's waiting downstairs.

CHARLOTTE:

Gracious, already? (GENUINE SORROW) Oh, dear. Then I guess this is goodbye, Mr. Anderson.

ANDERSON:

(TICKLED) Yeah, yeah, I guess it is, Charlotte. (LAUGHS HEARTILY)

CHARLOTTE:

(DEEPLY FELT) Aw, it's been swell knowing you, and thanks -- for everything. (MOVING OFF) Goodbye.

ANDERSON:

Oh, don't mention it. Goodbye, Charlotte! Goodbye! (LAUGHS HEARTILY, THEN TO HIMSELF, WITH GREAT RELIEF) She's gone. She's really gone! There is a Santa Claus! ...

SOUND:

RECEIVER UP

ANDERSON:

(SINGS HAPPILY)
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the--
(SPEAKS, INTO PHONE)
Connect me with Jeff Harris in the art department.
(SINGS HAPPILY)
Oh, what fun it is to--
(SPEAKS, INTO PHONE)
Oh, hello, Jeff? This is Willie. Merrrrrry Christmas! (LAUGHS HEARTILY) Say, look, Jeff, I'm giving a little celebration tonight. --- Yeah, yeah. Never mind what I'm celebrating. You just round up the gang and-- (DOUBLE TAKE) D--! D--! D--! (SHOCK, WILDLY) Charlotte?!

CHARLOTTE:

(PREOCCUPIED) Oh, don't mind me, Mr. Anderson.

SOUND:

RECEIVER DOWN

ANDERSON:

(WITH DREAD) What's the matter now?

CHARLOTTE:

Oh, I forgot something. That's all right. Now, don't bother to get up.

ANDERSON:

But you'll miss your bus!

CHARLOTTE:

No, I won't, no. I always allow time to come back as soon as I leave because I always forget to remember what I forgot until after I've left. ...

ANDERSON:

You what?!

CHARLOTTE:

Nothing. Now, please, don't get up.

ANDERSON:

Will you please tell me what you came back for?! I--

CHARLOTTE:

(REALIZES, GIGGLES) Oh, dear. I'm afraid you'll have to get up after all, Mr. Anderson.

ANDERSON:

Listen, what are you looking for?!

CHARLOTTE:

The chocolate eclairs -- you're sitting on them.

ANDERSON:

I am--? ... The chocolate eclairs?! I am?!

CHARLOTTE:

Now, don't worry, Mr. Anderson. I'll get some more down at the bus station! Merry Christmas!

ANDERSON:

D'ohhhhhhh! (UNHAPPY) Merry Christmas.

MUSIC:

CURTAIN

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

ANNOUNCER:

Tonight when the last gift is wrapped and the final touches put on the tree, perhaps it will almost seem as though this Christmas Eve were the same as always. Although, of course, it won't be the same -- especially if there's a service star in your window. And yet, if there is, perhaps like millions of other separated families, you'll have found new comfort in the old familiar Christmas customs, in your thoughtfulness of others, and in their thoughtfulness of you. Thoughtfulness in little things especially -- like remembering, and being remembered, with a card. To receive Christmas cards is to visit with dear ones for a moment, to know that neither time nor distance can keep good friends from sharing their thoughts. And because this year so many loving messages have found their way to you, too, your Christmas will be happier. Yes, and when families are together again your joy will be richer for remembering what this wartime Christmas has taught us all: that at Christmas and throughout the year, happiness comes from thoughtfulness -- thoughtfulness in little things that mean so much.

SOUND:

RYTHMIC SLEIGH BELLS ... IN AND IN BG--

ANNOUNCER:

And now Charles Hathaway, his orchestra, and the Hallmark chorus will do a musical number especially designed for Santa Claus.

MUSIC:

FOR A SWINGING MEDLEY OF CHRISTMAS SONGS ... ORCHESTRA JOINS SLEIGH BELLS AND ACCOMPANIES CHORUS--

CHORUS:
Listen to the
Jingle Bells!
Jingle Bells!
Jingle all the way!
Oh, what fun it is to wait
For the reindeer and the sleigh!

BOYS:
Why, tonight's the night before Christmas,
When all through the house
Not a creature is stirring,
Not even a mouse.

GIRLS:
And we're waiting for the little round man
With the long white beard

CHORUS:
'Cause it's Santa Claus who's comin' to town!

MUSIC:

HALF A STANZA OF "JINGLE BELLS" ... THEN CHORUS SINGS COUNTERPOINT TO THE FOLLOWING SPOKEN WORD INTERLUDES--

LITTLE GIRL:

I'm the little girl who wants a new dolly with real hair and red shoes and - and some peppermint candy!

LITTLE BOY:

And I'm the little boy who wants a sled and a tricycle and all the story books about Red Ryder and Superman -- and a great big dog!

BIG GIRL:

And I'm the big girl who wants her brother, her sweetheart, her father, and her son -- to come safely home.

CHORUS:
And we'll see
Donner and Blitzen
And Dancer and Prancer
All galloping through the snow [?]
Bringing gifts to those who are good [?]

So you better prepare, better watch out,
Better not frown and you better not pout.
'Cause Santa Claus is coming to town!

MUSIC:

MEDLEY ENDS

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

MUSIC:

BRIEF TAG

ANNOUNCER:

Well, at last Charlotte is really on her way to Hollywood -- at least on the first leg of the trip, which she's making by bus to a nearby town, and there to board a train. And as the bus chugs along through an ever-thickening snowstorm--

SOUND:

HARSH WIND BLOWS ... BUS ENGINE ... IN BG

CHARLOTTE:

Brrrrr! Oh, isn't this blizzard marvelous, driver? Oh, it's a real old-fashioned Christmas Eve.

DRIVER:

Sure, if you like blizzards. But if I was runnin' this bus line and carryin' just you three passengers, I'd turn back to Lakeview right now.

MARIAN:

(ALARMED) Oh, no! No, I've got to get to Mound City this evening -- I've got to!

DRIVER:

Don't worry, sister, I was only kiddin'.

WIMPLE:

(GRUMPY) Can't - can't you go any faster?

DRIVER:

Sure, but I ain't allowed to leave the bus. Ha ha ha! ...

WIMPLE:

(SOURLY MOCKING) Heh heh heh.

CHARLOTTE:

You know, I've been sitting here thinking. Haven't I met you some place before?

WIMPLE:

If you have, madam, the pleasure was all yours. ...

CHARLOTTE:

Now, wait a minute, I'm not being forward or anything like that, but I'm sure I remember your face.

WIMPLE:

Ah, how very odd.

CHARLOTTE:

Maybe that's why I remember it. ...

WIMPLE:

Well, I don't-- (DOUBLE TAKE) Hah? ... (ANGRY) Now you see here! I am Horace J. Wimple! (TO DRIVER) And as for you, young man -- try and make better time!

DRIVER:

I'm sorry, mister, but this snow is gettin' pretty deep.

WIMPLE:

Well, thank goodness snow is one thing I won't have to put up with much longer. I'm catching the ten-thirty train for my place down in Florida.

DRIVER:

Hope the Florida climate agrees with you, mister.

CHARLOTTE:

(MOCKING) Oh, it will. He's Horace J. Wimple. The climate wouldn't dare not to agree with him.

WIMPLE:

Now, look, usually my chauffeur drives me down, but this year I couldn't get the gas.

MARIAN:

(LONGINGLY) It must be wonderful in Florida.

WIMPLE:

Oh, it's comfortable enough -- as far as anything can be comfortable, what with rationing and shortages and inability to get decent servants. Why, last month they even drafted my cook!

CHARLOTTE:

(SARCASTIC) Oh, botheration, not really?

WIMPLE:

Yes! Why on earth do they need cooks in the army? Don't they have mess sergeants?

CHARLOTTE:

Oh, sure. ... Give a mess sergeant enough rope and he'll end up with a spaghetti dinner. ...

DRIVER:

(AMUSED) I know. I ate 'em!

SOUND:

BUS ENGINE SPUTTERS AND DIES ... HARSH WIND CONTINUES IN BG

DRIVER:

That's funny. Something's certainly gone haywire.

MARIAN:

Will it--? Will it take long to fix?

DRIVER:

(MOVING OFF) Oh, I don't think so. I'll just have a look under the hood.

SOUND:

BUS DOOR OPENS ... WIND UP BRIEFLY ... DOOR SHUTS AS DRIVER EXITS ... WIND CONTINUES IN BG

CHARLOTTE:

Are you catching a train at Parkingwell, too, miss?

MARIAN:

(HESITANT) No. No, I'm-- I'm going to Mound City to look for a room.

WIMPLE:

(GRUNTS WITH DISAPPROVAL) Fine time of day to start out looking for a room.

CHARLOTTE:

Rooms are scarce in Lakeview. Did you just come to town?

MARIAN:

Oh, no, no. I - I've been there since last summer. You see, my husband was stationed at Fort Williamson and - and left for overseas three months ago.

WIMPLE:

Well, you must have had someplace to live until recently. Why didn't you stay there?

MARIAN:

Oh, yes, I was still living out near the fort, but a couple of days ago there was another soldier and his wife looking for a place and-- Sometimes they're only together for a little while.

CHARLOTTE:

(QUIETLY IMPRESSED) And you gave up your room.

MARIAN:

Oh, I - I - I didn't need to be near the fort any more. I thought I could find a room someplace else in Lakeview--

WIMPLE:

(INTERRUPTS, DISMISSIVE) Well, I haven't any sympathy for people who can't look after themselves.

CHARLOTTE:

(WITH DISDAIN) I imagine you look out for yourself very well, Mr. Wimple.

WIMPLE:

Oh, well enough. At least I can go to a warmer climate.

CHARLOTTE:

Heh! You know, it's a funny thing. That's exactly what I've been wanting to tell you. ...

SOUND:

BUS DOOR OPENS ... WIND UP LOUDLY

WIMPLE:

Driver, will you close that door?!

SOUND:

DOOR SHUTS ... WIND DOWN, IN BG

DRIVER:

Got a little bad news for you, folks. Looks like we're stalled.

MARIAN:

Oh, no.

CHARLOTTE:

You mean we're stuck here?

WIMPLE:

(AGITATED) Oh, this would happen to me! Well? Well? What are you waiting for? Do something about it! Phone into town!

DRIVER:

That's just it. There's no place close around here to phone from.

WIMPLE:

Well, there must be some place to phone!

CHARLOTTE:

Isn't there a farmhouse near here?

DRIVER:

About a mile and a half back towards Lakeview, but I ain't allowed to leave the bus. So I guess you'll have to do the phonin', Mr. Wimple.

WIMPLE:

Me?! (SPLUTTERS) Get out in this storm?!

DRIVER:

I'm sorry, mister, but it's kind of an emergency.

WIMPLE:

Well, I'm certainly not going to tramp a mile and a half to find a telephone!

DRIVER:

Okay, if you want to stay here all night. It's gonna get pretty cold in this bus before mornin'.

WIMPLE:

(FLUSTERED) Oh, I'm-- This leaves me speechless.

CHARLOTTE:

Well, that's fine -- stay that way. ... All right, I'll find a phone, driver.

DRIVER:

Oh, now, wait a minute. It's still stormin', ma'am. You'd have to wade through some pretty deep snow.

CHARLOTTE:

That's all right. I'm built to wade through deep snow. ... There's more to me than meets the eye and plenty meets the eye. Where is the farmhouse?

DRIVER:

It's Sam Bagley's place, but, gee, I sorta hate to let you do it.

CHARLOTTE:

Never mind now, just tell me where it is.

DRIVER:

Well, stick to the road till you come to a big billboard. It's on the left, right at the edge of Bagley's property.

CHARLOTTE:

Okay.

DRIVER:

Then I guess the best thing is to just cut across the field to the house.

CHARLOTTE:

All right, I'll find it.

WIMPLE:

(RELUCTANTLY) I-- Oh-- Well, I can't let a woman go out in this storm alone. I suppose I'll have to go, too. Whom do we phone?

DRIVER:

The Lake County Transportation Company. Tell 'em I'm stayin' with the bus. I'm Joe Griffith.

CHARLOTTE:

Okay, Joe, and just for the records, I'm Charlotte Greenwood.

DRIVER:

Well, I'll say you sure got spunk, Mrs. Greenwood.

CHARLOTTE:

(CHUCKLES) Thanks. Only it isn't Mrs. Greenwood, it's Miss Greenwood.

DRIVER:

(VERY CONTRITE) Oh, I'm sorry.

CHARLOTTE:

(CHUCKLES, DRY) You're sorry. ... Come on, Mr. Wimple!

SOUND:

WIND BLOWS

MUSIC:

BRIDGE

SOUND:

WIND BLOWS AND WHISTLES ... THEN IN BG ... CHARLOTTE AND WIMPLE TRUDGE THROUGH SNOW, BREATHING HEAVILY

WIMPLE:

(MISERABLE) Oh, why did I ever get into this?

CHARLOTTE:

Keep moving, Mr. Wimple, keep moving! We can't be very far from the farmhouse now.

WIMPLE:

Oh, we'll never find the farmhouse! We'll never find our way back to the bus, either, and I'm gradually freezing.

CHARLOTTE:

Well, I'm not exactly having a sunstroke myself! Brr!

WIMPLE:

Oh, listen to that wind whistling!

CHARLOTTE:

I wish it would start whistling Dixie.

WIMPLE:

(EXASPERATED) I'm in no mood for joking! What kind of wind would whistle Dixie?!

CHARLOTTE:

A south wind! ... Keep moving, Mr. Wimple, keep moving.

WIMPLE:

Oh, I tell you, I'm in no humor to listen to idle chatter!

CHARLOTTE:

You're not listening to idle chatter. That's my teeth, Mr. Wimple. ... Oh, look!

WIMPLE:

Huh?

CHARLOTTE:

Look over there -- a light! It's the farmhouse.

WIMPLE:

Oh, yes!

CHARLOTTE:

(CALLS) Hello, there!

WIMPLE:

(CALLS) Help! Help, we're lost in the storm!

CHARLOTTE:

Oh, somebody's coming out of the door. (CALLS) Mr. Bagley! Hello!

BAGLEY:

(APPROACHES) Hello. Say, what's goin' on here?

WIMPLE:

We're from the bus. It's stalled down the road. We've got to phone for help.

BAGLEY:

Well, you can't use the phone. It's out of order. Account of the storm.

WIMPLE:

Ohhhhh! Now what are we going to do?!

CHARLOTTE:

There's only one thing to do, Mr. Wimple. Go back and bring everybody back here. They can't stay in that bus and freeze.

BAGLEY:

Oh, but wait. I'm a bachelor. I live here all alone. I haven't room for 'em.

CHARLOTTE:

But we'll leave just as soon as we can get a relief bus. (PLEADS) Now, Mr. Bagley--!

BAGLEY:

(RELUCTANT) Well-- All right. I guess I can't turn out folks on Christmas Eve. Anyhow you look kind of done up. Er, you can fix yourself a cup of coffee while your friend here goes back for the others.

WIMPLE:

Oh, if you think I'm going back, you're badly mistaken!

CHARLOTTE:

(SUPPRESSING HER TEMPER) Oh, don't give it a second thought, Mr. Wimple. I'll go.

BAGLEY:

Now wait a minute. What's the matter with him?

WIMPLE:

Well, I'm cold and tired and hungry. I've made the trip once. I've tramped a mile and a half to you to telephone. And now what do I get?!

CHARLOTTE:

I don't know what you're gonna get, but I know what you need is a good spanking!

WIMPLE:

(DISMISSIVE) Ohhh--

CHARLOTTE:

Go on back to the house! (MOVING OFF) I'll be right back!

MUSIC:

CURTAIN

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

ANNOUNCER:

Well, Charlotte, I can readily see that this story calls for a Christmas song. But the question is: what particular Christmas song?

CHARLOTTE:

Now, Wendell, you're wondering about that in the midst of this snowstorm?

ANNOUNCER:

(CHUCKLES) Oh, well, if you put it that way. Friends, Charlotte Greenwood singing "White Christmas."

MUSIC:

HARP GLISSANDO ... THEN ORCHESTRA IN BG, TO ACCOMPANY CHORUS AND CHARLOTTE--

CHORUS:

It's just the time of year
We banish every fear
And sing just for joy and cheer.

CHARLOTTE:

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know

Where the treetops glisten and children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write.

May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white.

CHORUS:

May each moment be as happy as my white---
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones we used to know (used to know)

CHARLOTTE:

Where the treetops glisten and children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow.

CHORUS:

Sleigh bells ringing!

CHARLOTTE:

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write.

CHORUS:

We used to know--

CHARLOTTE:

May your days be merry and bright--

CHORUS:

May they be bright!

CHARLOTTE:

And may all your Christmases be white.

CHORUS:

May each day be as happy and gay --
And as bright!

MUSIC:

SONG ENDS

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

ANNOUNCER:

To remember a day that's important to someone, we send a card because we care. Surely that someone deserves the best of cards, and there's one easy way to be certain that your card is the very finest. Look on the back for the identifying words: "a Hallmark card." Like the word "sterling" on silver, the words "a Hallmark card" on the back of the card you send are your assurance of quality -- quality well-known to discriminating people for more than thirty years. So this week when you're looking for New Year's cards that say just what you want to say, the way you want to say it -- cards that let your friends know you cared enough to send the very best -- look on the back for those three words "a Hallmark card."

MUSIC:

HARP GLISSANDO ... THEN ORCHESTRA FOR BRIEF TRANSITION, THEN OUT BEHIND ANNOUNCER--

SOUND:

WIND BLOWS, IN BG

ANNOUNCER:

And now to resume our story. After tramping a mile and a half through a blizzard to find Sam Bagley's house, Charlotte has made her way back to the stalled bus, and as she enters-- (FADES OUT)

SOUND:

BUS DOOR CLOSES ... WIND CONTINUES IN BG

MARIAN:

(QUIETLY HOPEFUL) Are - are they sending another bus for us?

CHARLOTTE:

(HATES TO BREAK IT TO HER) Well, no, honey, not right away. We're all going down the road to Mr. Bagley's and wait.

MARIAN:

Oh. I'd better stay here.

DRIVER:

I wouldn't if I was you. There's somethin' haywire with our electric system. And our storage cells'll run down pretty fast. Another hour or so, we ain't gonna have any lights.

CHARLOTTE:

Well, it isn't far to Mr. Bagley's, and I know every step of the trail. I ought to -- I made it.

DRIVER:

(TO MARIAN) Sure, sister -- you go with Miss Greenwood. When the other bus shows up, I'll come along and get you.

CHARLOTTE:

Oh, aren't you coming along too?

DRIVER:

No, I can't take a chance on leavin' the bus standin' here in the middle of the road -- especially when it ain't gonna have any lights. Now, don't bother about me; you two go ahead.

MUSIC:

BRIDGE

SOUND:

WIND BLOWS HARSHLY AT FIRST, THEN LESSENS IN BG ... BOTH WOMEN STRUGGLE THROUGH SNOW, BREATHING HEAVILY, IN BG

MARIAN:

(VERY WEAK) I don't think I can make it.

CHARLOTTE:

Lean against the wind, honey, and keep movin'. We're nearly there. (BEAT) Are you all right now, Mrs.--? Say, I don't believe you told me your name.

MARIAN:

It's Foster. Marian Foster.

CHARLOTTE:

(SEES SOMETHING) Oh, Mrs. Foster, look up! I think the storm's about over. There's a patch of sky over there with stars in it.

MARIAN:

Stars?

CHARLOTTE:

That's right. Christmas stars.

MARIAN:

In the song, they're silent stars.

CHARLOTTE:

The song?

MARIAN:

Don't you remember? (RECITES, BRISKLY) "O little town of Bethlehem / How still we see thee lie / Above thy deep and dreamless sleep / The silent stars go by."

CHARLOTTE:

(IMPRESSED) Well, you-- (ENCOURAGING, RECITES) "Yet in thy dark streets shineth / The everlasting Light / The hopes and fears of all the years / Are met in thee -- tonight." (EXHALES) I don't think I've repeated those words since I was a little kid in Sunday school.

MARIAN:

(DESPONDENT) Only-- Only there aren't any hopes. There's only fear. And there isn't any light, only darkness. There's nothing you can believe in. Or hold fast to.

CHARLOTTE:

Oh, now--

MARIAN:

If there is, it's like those stars -- vast, far away. Too far away to care anything about us.

CHARLOTTE:

Now, that isn't talking like the wife of a soldier. Your husband is brave--

MARIAN:

(INTERRUPTS) I haven't any husband. Ted's been missing in action since the first of November. (TEARFUL) And -- I'll never see him again. I'll never-- (SOBS TWICE, THEN FALLS ABRUPTLY SILENT AS SHE FAINTS)

CHARLOTTE:

(STUNNED) Well--? What is it? (NO RESPONSE) Come on, get up! (NO RESPONSE, TENSE) Mrs. Foster?! Marian?!

MUSIC:

BRIDGE

SOUND:

RATTLE OF PHONE CRADLE

WIMPLE:

(AGITATED, INTO PHONE) Hello?! Hello?!

BAGLEY:

You're just wasting your time. I told you it's out of order.

WIMPLE:

(EXASPERATED) Oh--!

SOUND:

RECEIVER DOWN

WIMPLE:

It doesn't seem possible! Here I am, worth a half million dollars, and yet I can't put through a five-cent phone call!

BAGLEY:

You may have a half a million dollars, mister, but you ain't worth it. ...

SOUND:

FRANTIC KNOCKING AT DOOR

BAGLEY:

Yes, yes! I'm comin', I'm comin'!

SOUND:

FRONT DOOR OPENS

BAGLEY:

Land sakes!

CHARLOTTE:

Hurry, help me!

BAGLEY:

W-w-what's happened?

CHARLOTTE:

(BREATHLESS) She fainted. I had to carry her.

BAGLEY:

Land o' Goshen. Here, here -- let me take her. (WITH EFFORT) There! Okay, now. Easy.

SOUND:

FRONT DOOR CLOSES

CHARLOTTE:

Put her in the bedroom. I'll be right in.

BAGLEY:

Yes'm.

SOUND:

BAGLEY'S STEPS AWAY

CHARLOTTE:

Is that telephone working, Mr. Wimple? I have to use it.

WIMPLE:

(UPSET) No! No, it isn't! I'm bound to miss my train now, too. I don't know why it is that everything happens to me!

CHARLOTTE:

Oh, I don't think the universe is so arranged that everything happens to you; you're hardly that important. Brr-r-r! This room is cold.

SOUND:

POKES AT FIREPLACE WITH POKER

CHARLOTTE:

Well, no wonder. This fire's about out! Take that hatchet over there and split up that kindling wood.

WIMPLE:

Who, me?

CHARLOTTE:

What's the matter, haven't you ever split kindling wood before?

WIMPLE:

If I ever wanted kindling split, I'd have hired someone to do it and paid him for it.

CHARLOTTE:

You're gonna find out there are a few things you can't buy.

WIMPLE:

Now, see here, you can't talk to me this way!

CHARLOTTE:

Oh, yes, I can! And what's more, I'm going to.

WIMPLE:

Why, you--

CHARLOTTE:

While you're whimpering about the weather and missing the train and not getting enough gas--

WIMPLE:

Well, I don't think--

CHARLOTTE:

--that youngster in there has lost her husband overseas!

WIMPLE:

Well--

CHARLOTTE:

Try and buy him back! Try to buy back her happiness! And, for that matter, try to buy your own back! (MOVING OFF) Now split that kindling!

SOUND:

CHARLOTTE'S STEPS AWAY AS SHE EXITS THROUGH BEDROOM DOOR, WHICH CLOSES ... WIMPLE GRUNTS WITH EFFORT BEHIND THUNK-THUNK-THUNK OF KINDLING SPLIT ... THE WOODCHOPPING FILLS A PAUSE, THEN FRONT DOOR OPENS ... WOODCHOPPING CONTINUES IN BG

ANDERSON:

Hello, I-- (SURPRISED) Why, Mr. Wimple! What are you doing here?

WIMPLE:

(MATTER-OF-FACT) Splitting kindling.

ANDERSON:

Splitting kindling? You?

WIMPLE:

(SHARPLY) And the what's the matter with that?

ANDERSON:

(PUZZLED) Well, nothing, nothing. Only I thought you'd probably buy your kindling.

WIMPLE:

Let me tell you something, Anderson. There are some things you can't buy! You can't buy back her happiness! And you can't buy back mine!

ANDERSON:

Huh?

WIMPLE:

I just found that out. And from a woman.

ANDERSON:

A woman?

WIMPLE:

Yes.

SOUND:

WOODCHOPPING OUT AS BEDROOM DOOR OPENS

ANDERSON:

(SEES CHARLOTTE ENTER) Oh, Charlotte! There you are!

CHARLOTTE:

(LOW) Mr. Anderson, how many times must I tell you not to shout so?

ANDERSON:

But aren't you surprised to see me?! I've just been talkin' to the driver of your bus!

CHARLOTTE:

Well, how did you get through?

ANDERSON:

On the snowplow. I'm on my way to Fort Williamson for a story. Three Lake County kids all reported missing in action are back home!

CHARLOTTE:

Wonderful!

ANDERSON:

Uh huh, and I'm gonna arrange to take 'em back to town with me. There's, uh, Walter Travis, Ted Foster, and, er--

CHARLOTTE:

(INTERRUPTS) Ted Foster?! Did you say Ted Foster?!

ANDERSON:

Uh huh. And a kid named Frank Bidwell.

CHARLOTTE:

But Ted Foster! Well, that's her husband!

ANDERSON:

Who's husband?

CHARLOTTE:

(PLEASED) Oh! And she said she didn't see any hope in that star. Oh, how wrong she was. (CHUCKLES)

BAGLEY:

(APPROACHES) Miss Greenwood?! Miss Greenwood, you'd better get in there quick!

CHARLOTTE:

Oh, so soon?

ANDERSON:

Yeah, but, Charlotte, wait! I've got it all fixed for the snowplow driver to take you to your train!

CHARLOTTE:

Oh, I'm not catching any train now.

ANDERSON:

All you have to do is to drive-- (DOUBLE TAKE) You--? You're not what? ... You're not what?! ...

BAGLEY:

Er, you'd better hurry, Miss Greenwood.

CHARLOTTE:

Coming, Mr. Bagley. (MISCHIEVOUS, TO ALL) Oh, gentlemen--? Do you know anything about a baby?

THE THREE MEN:

(IN UNISON, SCARED) Buh-buh-buh-baby?! ...

ANDERSON:

What's there to know about a baby?!

CHARLOTTE:

(MERRILY) Well, just stick around, gentlemen! You'll find out!

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

MUSIC:

CURTAIN ... OUT BEHIND--

ANNOUNCER:

Charlotte Greenwood will be back in a moment. Meanwhile I want to remind you again, the next time you buy a card for any occasion, look on the back for the identifying words "A Hallmark Card." H-A-L-L-M-A-R-K -- "A Hallmark Card." Those three words are your assurance of finest quality. They tell your friends you cared enough to send the very best. Yes, a Hallmark card will best express your perfect taste, your thoughtfulness. And now Charlotte Greenwood.

CHARLOTTE:

Friends, I can't help thinking about those lines in the Christmas carol, "the hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight." The hopes -- and fears. You know, there are times when it may seem to us that the clouds of fear have shut out the light of the whole world. Yet there is given to all of us the flame of hope. No matter how steep the path, how long the journey, it will show us the way. No matter how dark the night, its rays will guide us inevitably to the gates of the morning. And so even in these days, we can still have faith in peace on earth, and with Tiny Tim say, "God bless us every one." Good night.

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

MUSIC:

HARP GLISSANDO ... THEN IN BG, TO ACCOMPANY CHARLOTTE--

CHARLOTTE:

And now until next Sunday at the very same time, this is Charlotte Greenwood saying--
(SINGS)
So long, friends, until we meet again.
So long, neighbor, till next Sunday,
I'll just say, "so long."

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

MUSIC:

HARP GLISSANDO ... THEN IN BG

CHARLOTTE:

So long.

ANNOUNCER:

The Hallmark Charlotte Greenwood Show -- with music by Charles Hathaway and His Orchestra -- came to you from Hollywood. This is Wendell Niles speaking. This is the Blue network.

LOCAL ANNCR:

12:30 at KECA, Los Angeles.