MUSIC:
"JELLO" JINGLE
WILSON:
"The Jello Program", starring Jack Benny! With Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Kenny Baker, and yours truly Don Wilson. The orchestra opens the program with "From Alpha to Omega".
MUSIC:
"FROM ALPHA TO OMEGA", THEN UNDER
WILSON:
"What is so rare as a day in June?" cried the poet. Well, I know something. That's a June bride who can turn out a perfect home-cooked meal. But don't be downhearted. That new husband of yours will forgive you for an awful lot, if you bring on a swell-looking, swell-tasting dessert. And that means JELLO. There's no fuss or trouble with Jello. There's nothing to go wrong. Dissolves instantly in hot water, sets quickly in icebox or refrigerator, and comes out in a shimmering mold of beauty that looks and tastes like a million dollars. There are six delicious flavours, and every one is extra-rich.: Strawberry, Raspberry, Cherry, Orange, Lemon, and Lime. They're simply swell, served just as-is, or you can garnish them with any fruits in season. And Jello is one of the thriftiest desserts you can serve. Every husband appreciates that. So, skip around to your grocer, tomorrow, and look for those big red letters on the box, that spell JELLO!
MUSIC:
TO A FINISH, THEN OUT
WILSON:
That was "From Alpha to Omega", played by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, greetings from Hollywood. In just a moment, you will hear from your Hollywood reporter, with his frank comments about motion pictures, radio, and their glamourous stars. A man who will startle you with his sensational scoops. And here he is, folks, that human dynamo, Jimmie "Fiddler" Benny!
JACK:
Jello again, this is Jimmie Benny, "the Fiddler", coming to you from Hollywood. Hollywood, that small body of land, entirely surrounded by racetracks. And here we go with our news bulletin.
SFX:
TELEGRAPH BUZZING
JACK:
Exclusive! Now that Robert Taylor and Barbara Stanwyck are married, and Tyrone Power has recently wed Annabella, who will be next? Gossip had it that May Robeson and Mickey Rooney have been seen dining and dancing together, in the late night spots. But take it from me, they are just good friends.
SFX:
TELEGRAPH BUZZING
JACK:
Attention, New York reporters! Eddie Cantor, comedian, noted for his five daughters, is in your town, celebrating his twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. On their way back to California, Eddie and his wife, Ida, will spend a week at "SON" Valley. Watch this column for further developments.
SFX:
TELEGRAPH BUZZING
JACK:
Back to Hollywood. Movie stars seen recently in Ruby Foo's Chinese restaurant, ordering their specialty, Egg Foo Yung, were Robert Young, Loretta Young, Roland Young, Victor Young, Clara Kimball Young, and Young Doctor Kildare.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, a special scoop!
MARY:
Hello, Jack. What are you doing?
JACK:
Quiet, Mary. (UP) More Hollywood news. Miss Ginger Fizzdale, new child singing discovery, who is destined to become a great star, will be professionally known as "Gin Fizz". She is three years old, and in her first screen effort, Bobby Breen will play the part of her father.
More Hollywood news.
MARY:
Oh, Jack, lemme do one.
JACK:
All right.
MARY:
I have it on good authority that the Paramount Studio is planning to build Jack Benny's next picture around him.
JACK:
That's right.
MARY:
As soon as he is completely hidden, they will release it.
JACK:
Quit makin' things up. And gimme that.
SFX:
TELEGRAPH BUZZING
JACK:
Intimate notes from my little black book. Observed recently, coming out of Maisie's fashionable Beauty Parlour, in Beverly Hills, were Joan Bennett, Myrna Loy, Carole Lombard, Hedy Lamarr, and Phil Harris. When confronted, the popular bandleader claimed he made a mistake. The sign said "MAISIE'S SALON", but he thought it was Muzzy's Saloon.
And now, a word from our sponsor. Take it, Don.
WILSON:
Jello. Take it, Jack.
JACK:
Good. Open letter to Fred Allen. "Dear Mr. Allen: I understand you are going off the air shortly, for a well-deserved vacation in the rock-bound state of Maine. You've earned that vacation, Fred. And you need it. Boy, how you need it! But before you go, Fred, may I give you this friendly bit of advice? Instead of coming back on the air next fall, get out those Indian clubs and that green wig, and go back to vaudeville. Believe me, I'm speaking as your affectionate friend, Jimmie "Fiddler" Benny."
SFX:
TELEGRAPH BUZZING
JACK:
Previews of the new pictures! The first picture I recommend tonight is "The Jones Family in a Gopher Hole". This is a two-bell picture.
SFX:
TWO CLANGY DINGS
JACK:
Now, this--
SFX:
CLANGY DING
JACK:
THREE-bell picture is good clean fun for the entire family. The next picture I recommend is "Charlie Chan in Saint Paul", or "Mr. Moto in Minneapolis". This mystery gets three and a half bells.
SFX:
THREE CLANGY DINGS ... ONE LITTLE TING
JACK:
The plot is fascinating. It is about three smart girls who grow up in Dodge City. And the high spot of the picture is when the Cisco Kid falls off of Wuthering Heights. Oh, DON'T miss it!
And now, ladies and gentlemen, I want to recommend wholeheartedly, with no reservations whatsoever, Paramount's latest comedy triumph, "Man About Town", starring Jack Benny! I give this picture--
SFX:
LOTS OF LOUD CLANGY DINGS, UNTIL APPARATUS EXPLODES AND FALLS APART
JACK:
Don't miss this picture, folks! It has plenty on the bell! Take it, Mr. Wilson!
WILSON:
Ladies and gentlemen, do you remember that old proverb, "A rolling stone gathers no moss"? Well, if you want a tempting and delicious dessert, you "MOSS" get Jello.
JACK:
Oh, uncle.
WILSON:
So, look for the big red letters on the box!
JACK:
Thank you, Don. Well, that's about all the news for tonight, folks. But before I go, I wanna leave you with this thought: When you've reached the top of the ladder of success, don't forget your friends. And your relatives won't forget you. So, until we meet again, this is Jimmie "Fiddler" Benny, saying goodnight to you, and I DO mean, YOOHOOOOO!!! Take it, Maestro!
MUSIC:
"HOORAY FOR SPINACH"
JACK:
That was "Hooray For Spinach", played by Phil Harris and his orchestra. And, Phil, that was the best number you've done this season. You know, there wasn't one sour note in the whole thing. Not one.
PHIL:
(PROUDLY) Some shock, eh, kid?
JACK:
You said it. Say, Phil, how'd you like my little takeoff on Jimmie Fidler? I had some pretty hot news there, didn't I?
PHIL:
Hot news, nothin'! I haven't been to Maisie's Beauty Parlour in two weeks.
JACK:
You haven't?
MARY:
Why, Phil Harris! I saw you in there, last Thursday, getting a permanent wave!
JACK:
Oh... Then I was right about that little item. Imagine, a man sitting in a beauty parlour, having his hair curled.
MARY:
Why don't you send yours over, sometime?
JACK:
Never mind my hair. Say, where's Kenny? I've got another big scoop that I've been saving, and I want everybody to hear it. (CALLING) Hey, Kenny!
KENNY:
Here I am, Jack. I was up on the roof, taking a sunbath.
JACK:
Oh, up on the roof, eh?
KENNY:
Gee, I got a headache.
JACK:
Well, naturally. You stayed out in the hot sun too long.
KENNY:
Oh, it wasn't that. I fell down the elevator shaft.
JACK:
Oh my goodness. Why don't you look where you're going?
KENNY:
Gee whiz, Jack. It was the funniest feeling.
JACK:
What do you mean?
KENNY:
I stepped in and said, "Main floor, please". And I got it right in the kisser.
JACK:
Well, for heaven's sake, watch yourself from now on.
WILSON:
What's all the news you're going to tell us, Jack?
JACK:
Oh, yes. Now, listen carefully, everybody, and this is on the level. You know, two weeks from tonight, we do our last broadcast of the season. And we're going to do it from Waukeegan, Illinois!
ALL BUT
JACK: Waukeegan??? (AD LIB HAPPY REACTIONS)
JACK:
Yes, sir! And the same night, we're gonna have the world premiere of "Man About Town".
WILSON:
No kidding, Jack, are we really going to Waukeegan?
JACK:
Yep! Two weeks from today, we'll be in my little hometown. Boy, what a hot time we'll have!
PHIL:
We'll have to have it before nine PM.
JACK:
Phil, they've abolished that curfew. There's plenty of excitement there, now.
PHIL:
Well, I was there last summer, and they rang that bell right on the stroke o' nine.
JACK:
That wasn't a bell; they were kickin' the gong around! They'll show YOU a thing or two, brother!
PHIL:
Well, I'm wide open, sister!
JACK:
Don't worry, Phil. You'll be able to keep those bags under your eyes. You won't lose 'em. And now, ladies and gentlemen--
MARY:
Gee, if we're goin' to Waukeegan, I gotta get some new clothes.
JACK:
And now, ladies and gentlemen, as I announced, last week--
KENNY:
Me too!
JACK:
As I announced, last week, tonight, the Benny "Two Tickets For the Price of One" Players will present their version of the--
MARY:
I need a new evening gown.
JACK:
Will present their version of Darryl F. Zanuck's--
KENNY:
I need some white flannels.
JACK:
Of Darryl F. Zanuck's thrilling white flannels. Er, murder mystery. (TO CAST) Will you kids be quiet? You got a whole week to get ready. (UP) Uh, their murder mystery, "The Hound of the Baskervilles". Now, in this gripping drama--
KENNY:
I need a new grip too.
JACK:
Kenny! (UP) I will play the part of Sherlock Holmes, the internationally-famous detective. Kenny Baker will be my assistant, Doctor Watson. And Andy Devine-- Where's Andy?
ANDY:
(APPROACHING) Here I am, Buck!
JACK:
Gee! He came in like China, 'cross the Bay, didn't he? Now, Andy, you'll play the part of the vicious, snarling, murderous Hound. Do you think you can do it?
ANDY:
(LOUD DOG HOWL)
JACK:
Perfect. Now, this play will go on--
ANDY:
Say, Buck, am I goin' to Waukeegan with you?
JACK:
You certainly are, Andy.
ANDY:
Then, I better put my shoes on.
JACK:
Yeah. You'll never regret it. You'll have the time of your life. (UP) Now, our play will go on immediately after--
SFX:
PHONE RINGS, UNDER
JACK:
I'll take it.
SFX:
PHONE ANSWERED
JACK:
(INTO PHONE) Hello? Who? Plainfield, New Jersey? (TO MARY) That must be for you, Mary.
MARY:
Oh, gee, I bet it's Mama!
JACK:
Yes, Tugboat Annie is on the wire.
MARY:
(INTO PHONE) Hello? Oh, hello, Mama! Gee, this is a surprise! What? You've been listening to the program? How is it? (PAUSE) Oh, it does?
JACK:
She should be so critical.
MARY:
What, Mama?
JACK:
She was thrown outta the Floradora Sextet for wearing red bloomers.
MARY:
(INTO PHONE) Yes, we're going to Waukeegan. It's Jack's hometown. Yes, he was born there, right above a clothing store. (PAUSE. LAUGHS) Oh, Mama, are you corny!
JACK:
What'd she say?
MARY:
Suits and clucks.
JACK:
Hmm. That's about her speed.
MARY:
(INTO PHONE) Well, look, Mama, I got a great idea. Why don't you and Papa come to visit me in Waukeegan? We can spend a few days together, and you can see Jack's new picture. (PAUSE) Oh, I dunno. I'll find out. (TO JACK) Say, Jack? Are there (WHISPERS IN HIS EAR)
JACK:
(PAUSE. OUTRAGED) No! Certainly not!
MARY:
(INTO PHONE) No, Mama. No free dishes.
JACK:
Tell her to stay home, Mary. I'll be busy enough, that week.
MARY:
(INTO PHONE) Well, I gotta hang up now. I'll write you later. G'bye, Mama. G'bye.
SFX:
HANGS UP PHONE
MARY:
Oh, Jack, hasn't Mama got the most wonderful sense of humour?
JACK:
(SARCASTIC) Oh, she's a gem. Now, where were we? Oh, yes. (UP) Our play, "The Hound of the Baskervilles" will go on right after Kenny Baker's song. Go ahead, Kenny.
KENNY:
Okay. Say, Jack?
JACK:
What?
KENNY:
(CONSPIRATORIAL) D'you know any dames in Waukeegan?
JACK:
(DITTO) I certainly do.
KENNY:
Are they good-lookin'?
JACK:
They' certainly are.
KENNY:
Can you get me a date with one of 'em?
MARY:
He certainly can't.
JACK:
Don't worry now, Kenny. You'll be all fixed up. Go ahead with your song.
ANDY:
(BARKS SEVERAL TIMES)
JACK:
All right, Andy. Excuse me, fellas. I gotta take Andy out for a walk.
KENNY'S SONG:
"AND THE ANGELS SING"
JACK:
That was "And the Angels Sing", sung by Kenny Baker, the little devil of "The Jello Program". And now, for our feature attraction, that thrilling detective mystery, "The Hound of the Baskervilles", or "The Mayor of Van Nuys". Say, Andy, I think you oughtta try that howl just once more. It's very important to our plot.
ANDY:
Okay. (HOWLS LOUDLY)
JACK:
Very good. Now, the opening scene of our play is the residence of Sherlock Holmes, in London, England. As the curtain rises, we find Mr. Holmes and Dr. Watson in the library. Curtain! Music.
MUSIC:
DRAMATIC TRANSITION, THEN OUT
SFX:
PHONE RINGING
JACK:
Excuse me, Watson.
SFX:
PHONE ANSWERED
JACK:
(INTO PHONE) Hello? Sherlock Holmes on this end. Are you on YOUR end? Oh, it's you, Lord Pickletop. What? Your son has run away with a chorus girl? Well, why worry about it? Oh, you saw her first. Very well, I'll get on the trail immediately. Toodle'oo.
SFX:
HANGS UP PHONE
JACK:
His son is always up to something or other. Dr. Watson? Watson, what are you doing there?
KENNY:
I'm looking over the mail.
JACK:
Anything important?
KENNY:
I'll say! You got a postcard from Paris!
JACK:
Well, put down that magnifying glass, and give it to me.
KENNY:
Okay.
JACK:
I say! This is from Fifi, the little dancer I met at the Folies Bergeres. She says, "Dear Sherlock: Qu'est-ce que c'est, voulez-vous, venez elle de quoi tres chaud."
KENNY:
What does that mean?
JACK:
"Long time, no see." I think I'll run over to Paris, and visit her.
KENNY:
But what about your work here, Sherlock? After all, you're a detective.
JACK:
Well, I gotta "chercher la femme", don't I? I tell you, Watson, it's so dull around here. The cases I've been getting lately are ridiculously simple. They're not baffling at all. There's no exitement.
SFX:
BLOODCURDLING WOMAN'S SCREAM
JACK:
What was that?
KENNY:
It's twelve-thirty.
JACK:
Oh, yes. You know, Watson, if there isn't any more action around here, I'm going to take a vacation.
SFX:
KNOCKING ON DOOR
JACK:
Hmm. There's someone at the door.
KENNY:
I wonder who it is, Sherlock.
JACK:
It's a young lady, about twenty-three years of age, with beautiful blonde hair, blue eyes, and a divine figure.
KENNY:
Why, that's amazing! How do you know?
JACK:
Well, to tell the truth, Watson, I'm just hoping. (CALLING) Come in.
SFX:
DOOR OPENS
MARY:
Hello.
KENNY:
Aw, shucks. It's Mary.
JACK:
Quiet, Watson. (TO MARY) How do you do, Madam?
MARY:
How do you do? Oh, Mr. Holmes, you MUST help me! You MUST, you MUST!
JACK:
What seems to be the trouble, young lady?
MARY:
Well, you see, Mr. Holmes, I'm engaged to Philip Baskerville, the son of Sir Hugo Baskerville.
JACK:
Oh, Sir Hugo! I know him well. He's quite a lively old boy.
MARY:
Well, he's calmed down considerably. He was murdered, last night.
JACK:
Well, that'll do it, every time. Now, are you sure Sir Hugo is dead?
MARY:
I'm positive.
JACK:
How do you know?
MARY:
He doesn't giggle when we dust him off.
JACK:
Then, he IS dead. Er, continue, my dear.
MARY:
Well, according to the legend of the Baskervilles, Sir Philip, my fiance, is the next one marked for death.
JACK:
Amazing!
MARY:
The first Baskerville was killed. So was the second. Then the third and the fourth.
JACK:
I see. And Sir Philip is next?
MARY:
Yes. When they get him, it's Bingo.
JACK:
Hmm. It's a very interesting case. Now, tell me, Miss, er...?
MARY:
Lady Beryl.
JACK:
Lady Beryl. Is there any clue to these murders?
MARY:
Only one. Before each death, we always hear the howling of a dog on the lonely moor, outside the castle. Oh, it's ghastly!
JACK:
Oh, a dog, eh? Then, we have a clue already. Lady Beryl, I'll be glad to take the case. My fee, of course, will be one thousand dollars.
MARY:
You won't get it, of course.
JACK:
Of course. Make a note of that, Watson.
KENNY:
Okay.
SFX:
RINGS IT UP ON A CASH REGISTER
KENNY:
No Sale.
JACK:
Er, you may go now, Lady Beryl. Dr. Watson and I will follow immediately.
MARY:
Thank you.
JACK:
Oh, tell me... I've never been to Baskerville Castle. How will I find it?
MARY:
Very drafty. Goodbye.
SFX:
DOOR CLOSES
JACK:
Well, at last, Watson, we've got a case worthy of my merits. Let's hurry! We haven't a moment to lose!
MUSIC:
DRAMATIC TRANSITION
WILSON:
Scene Two. Three hours later. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson have just crossed the dark and desolate moor, and are approaching Baskerville Castle.
MUSIC:
SNEAKY "TIPTOEING", UNDER
SFX:
CRICKETS CHIRPING, AND "WINDY MOOR" AMBIENCE, UNDER
JACK:
Hmm... (PAUSE) Hmm, what a night. (PAUSE) Dr. Watson? Dr. Watson, is that you behind me?
KENNY:
(NERVOUSLY) Yeah.
JACK:
Stick close to me.
KENNY:
Gee, I can't see a thing. It sure is dark tonight.
JACK:
I'll say it's dark. I just saw an owl with a lantern. Look, Watson! D'you see that light up ahead?
KENNY:
Yes. That must be the place.
JACK:
I'm positive. Let's hurry.
SFX:
OUT
MUSIC:
DRAMATIC TRANSITION
JACK:
This is the castle, all right. Look at that coat of arms on the door. It says, "Baskerville Hall - In Hoc Signum, Multum Peril". What does that mean?
KENNY:
"No Cover Charge".
JACK:
If this is the Wilshire Bowl, I'll kill myself. Ring the bell, Watson.
KENNY:
Okay.
SFX:
EERIE GONG, OFF-MIKE
JACK:
Hmm. Cheerful little spot.
SFX:
CREAKY DOOR SLOWLY OPENS
NELSON:
(CREEPY) How do you do, gentlemen?
JACK:
Is this, uh, Baskerville Castle?
NELSON:
Yes. Whom shall I say is calling? (EVIL LAUGH)
JACK:
Uh, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. (EVIL LAUGH) Smarty.
KENNY:
Gee, I wish I could do that.
JACK:
You fall down that elevator shaft a coupla more times, and you'll be all set. (TO NELSON) Where's Lady Beryl?
NELSON:
Follow me, gentlemen.
SFX:
CREAKY DOOR CLOSES ... THEY WALK A FEW STEPS
NELSON:
Lady Beryl, the detectives have arrived.
MARY:
Thank you, Butch. You may go.
NELSON:
I'll go. I'll go. But watch your step, Mr. Holmes. YOU may be next.
JACK:
Now, Lady Beryl--
NELSON:
Wait a minute. I'm not through. (EVIL LAUGH)
SFX:
INTERIOR DOOR CLOSES
JACK:
Silly boy. Now, Lady Beryl, I want to meet your guests, and question them.
MARY:
Very well. First, I'd like you to meet my fiance, Sir Philip Baskerville.
JACK:
Hello, Sir Philip.
PHIL:
How do you do, Mr. Holmes? Weren't you once the House Detective at the Savoy Ritz?
JACK:
No, that was my brother, that used to throw you out. He's not there any more
PHIL:
Oh, goody!
MARY:
And this is Doctor Wilson, our family physician.
JACK:
Good evening, Doctor. Can you give us any information about the late Sir Hugo Baskerville?
WILSON:
Yes. He was very fond of Jello.
JACK:
Hmm. Er, make a note of it, Watson.
KENNY:
Okay. Commercial taken care of.
JACK:
Very good.
MARY:
And now, Mr. Holmes, may I present Madame Zeraky, the famous psychic? She has supernatural powers.
JACK:
Ah, good evening, Madame Zeraky.
ZERAKY:
Good evening, Mister Holmes.
MARY:
And that's Sir Hugo, lying across the table.
JACK:
Oh, the victim. Well, that's the first time I ever saw Sir Hugo ON TOP OF a table. Well, now that I've met everyone, I've got to get to work and solve this case. Hmm... The victim looks as though he met a violent death. Look at the way his clothes are torn. And those long scratches on his throat.
KENNY:
(MELODRAMATICALLY) I didn't do it! I didn't do it, I tell you! I didn't do it! I swear it wasn't me!
JACK:
We know it wasn't you, Dr. Watson.
KENNY:
Don't be too sure.
JACK:
Quiet. Sir Philip...
PHIL:
Yes, Mr. Holmes?
JACK:
You inherit a lot of money by Sir Hugo's death. Tell me... where were you at the time of the murder?
PHIL:
You can't pin this on me. I've got an iron-clad alibi!
JACK:
Oh, you have, eh? Well, just answer my question. (DRAMATICALLY) Where were you at the time o' the murder?
PHIL:
In Maisie's Beauty Parlour, and YOU know it!
JACK:
Well, somebody committed this crime, and I'm going to find out who it is.
ZERAKY:
Maybe I can help you, Mr. Holmes.
JACK:
Help me? How, Madame Zeraky?
ZERAKY:
Sir Hugo himself will tell me.
JACK:
But Sir Hugo is dead.
ZERAKY:
I know. But I will talk to his spirit, in the Great Beyond.
JACK:
Why, that's impossible.
MARY:
Oh, she's very good. She got South America, this morning.
JACK:
Why, this is ridiculous. But we'll try it.
ZERAKY:
Now, will you all please sit around in a circle, and hold hands?
JACK:
Oh, all right. Come on, everybody.
(ALL GRUMBLE AD LIB)
ZERAKY:
Now, turn off the lights.
SFX:
CLICK OF LIGHTSWITCH
ZERAKY:
Quiet, everybody. Now, concentrate. Concentrate on Sir Hugo!
SFX:
GONG
MUSIC:
SNEAKY "TIPTOEING" UNDER
ZERAKY:
(SUMMONING) Sir Hugo... Sir Hugo, are you there?
JACK:
Hmm. This is silly.
ZERAKY:
Sir Hugo, if you are there, answer me!
JACK:
Bosh! It'll never work.
KENNY:
Yeah, bosh!
JACK:
Quiet, Watson.
ZERAKY:
Sir Hugo, we are calling you. If you hear my voice, answer me!
MUSIC:
OUT
SFX:
GONG
ZERAKY:
Answer me!
HUGO:
(GROANS) I hear you, Madame.
JACK:
What?! Did you hear that, Watson?
KENNY:
(NERVOUSLY) Yeah.
JACK:
Madame Zeraky, can I speak to him now?
ZERAKY:
Yes. But don't lose the contact.
JACK:
I won't. Sir Hugo... Do you hear me?
HUGO:
Yes.
JACK:
Then tell me. How were you killed?
HUGO:
Well, I was out walking on the moor last night...
JACK:
Yes?
HUGO:
And just as I got to the garden wall, I saw a huge (GIBBERISH). All of a sudden, I (GIBBERISH) and he grabbed me by the (GIBBERISH). And I couldn't get myself (GIBBERISH)!
JACK:
Oh!
HUGO:
But that didn't kill me.
MARY:
It should'a.
JACK:
Quiet. But Sir Hugo! If that didn't kill you, what did?
HUGO:
Well... I picked myself up, and ran toward the house!
JACK:
Uh-huh?
HUGO:
Just as I got there, there was a huge (GIBBERISH)! And (GIBBERISH). You know that (GIBBERISH)?
JACK:
Yes!
HUGO:
Well the whole (GIBBERISH), and there I am on the table!
JACK:
But, Sir Hugo, you still haven'told us. Who committed this crime??? Who murdered you???
HUGO:
Very well. I was killed by--
ZERAKY:
("OPERATOR") Put in a nickel, please, for five more minutes.
JACK:
Get off the line, Operator! Continue, Sir Hugo. Your murder must be avenged!
HUGO:
I was killed by...
PHIL:
(MELODRAMATICALLY) Stop, stop! I can't stand it any longer! I confess! I did it! I did it! I killed him! (BURSTS INTO TEARS)
JACK:
(TRIUMPHANTLY) Ha, ha! I knew it all the time!
PHIL:
(SOBBING) I don't know why I did it! I must have been mad, crazy, delirious!
JACK:
Slap the handcuffs on him, Watson! The case of the Baskervilles is solved!
ANDY:
Hey, Sherlock, what about me?
JACK:
Oh, my goodness! I forgot all about the Hound! I'm sorry, Andy. Play, Phil.
MUSIC:
UP, THEN UNDER
WILSON:
The other day, I heard a woman say, "When I feel like going fancy on desserts, I wanna go fancy in a great big way." Well, I hope she's listening, for here's the answer. A grand new dessert, called Deluxe Strawberry Loaf. Strawberry Jello, juicy fruit berries, and creamy marshmallows, combined in a shimmering mold of Jello. And here's the way to make it.
Dissolve one package of Strawberry Jello in one pint of hot water, and chill until cold and syrupy. Then, place in a bowl of cracked ice, and whip it up with a rotary eggbeater, until the Jello is fluffy and thick, like pink whipped cream. Now, fold in two cups of sweetened, sliced strawberries, six marshmallows (finely cut), and one cup of whipped cream. Mold in a loaf pan, and, take it from me, there IS a deluxe dessert. A lovely shimmery loaf of whipped, rose-pink Jello, filled with fresh berries and foamy marshmallows. So, try it soon. Ask your grocer, tomorrow, for Strawberry Jello.
MUSIC:
UP BRIEFLY, THEN FADE OUT
JACK:
This is the last number, of the thirty-seventh program, in the new Jello series. And we will be with you again, next Sunday night, at the same time.
And, Andy, I'm awfully sorry I overlooked you in our play. I don't know how I ever happened to forget about the Hound.
ANDY:
Aw, that's all right, Buck.
JACK:
You wanna howl now?
ANDY:
(HOWLS LOUDLY, BUT MORE LIKE A TRAIN WHISTLE)
JACK:
Was that a dog?
MARY:
Sounded like the five-fifteen.
JACK:
It sure did. Goodnight, folks!
MUSIC:
"JELLO" JINGLE
WILSON:
Kenny Baker appears on "The Jello Program" through courtesy of Mervyn LeRoy Productions.
ANNCR:
This is the National Broadcasting Company.
NBC CHIMES