ANNOUNCER:

Hollywood, California, Monday, June first, Nineteen Thirty-Six!

MUSIC:

MAJESTIC FANFARE ... THEN OUT

ANNOUNCER:

Ladies and gentlemen! We have grand news for you tonight, for the Lux Radio Theatre has moved to Hollywood! And here we are in a theater of our very own -- The Lux Radio Theatre, Hollywood Boulevard, in the motion picture capital of the world! The curtain rises!

MUSIC:

THEME ... THEN IN BG, OUT GRANDLY AT [X]

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

ANNOUNCER:

Lux presents Hollywood! Tonight, the makers of Lux Toilet Soap bring you Marlene Dietrich, Clark Gable, Cecil B. DeMille, Jesse Lasky, and other great personalities.

Miss Dietrich, Mr. Gable, and an all-star cast will present the romantic melodrama "The Legionnaire and the Lady." Our music is under the leadership of Mr. Louis Silvers who is director of music for the great Twentieth Century-Fox studios and winner of the motion picture Academy Award for music. [X] Mr. Silvers.

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

ANNOUNCER:

And more good news! We give you, as our Hollywood producer, a man who will not only bring you the greatest plays and players, but the very spirit of Hollywood itself! That outstanding figure of the motion picture world, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille!

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

HOST:

Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. There are two theaters in this town almost as famous as Hollywood itself. They are Grauman's Chinese and the Carthay Circle. Perhaps it's a coincidence that a production of mine opened both of these theaters -- "The King of Kings" raised the curtain at the Chinese; "The Volga Boatman" was the first theater ever shown at the Carthay Circle-- first picture.

And tonight it is my privilege to open a new Hollywood theater whose audience is greater than any four walls could encompass, the largest theater in the world, the Lux Radio Theatre. The stars of our production tonight are Marlene Dietrich and Clark Gable, and the play, "The Legionnaire and the Lady."

Is it possible that the manufacturers of Lux soap asked me to produce this series of programs because of all the deluxe bathtubs that have been seen in my pictures? ... They should have a soft spot in their hearts for me. But I think the real reason goes back far beyond the recollection of any of us. When William the Conqueror whipped the Saxons at the Battle of Hastings in Ten Sixty-Six, the Blount DeMille family crest was born. The motto on that crest is "Thy light, my life" which is, of course, in Latin and reads, "Lux tua vita mea." ... So, you see, Lux has been a household word in the DeMille family for eight hundred and seventy years.

But producing a program like this is a privilege, and an adventure, for truthfully, I - I'm a little awed at the responsibility. Sitting before me in the Lux Radio Theatre is the most distinguished and perhaps the most critical audience ever assembled in Hollywood. I see a lot of familiar faces. There's Joan Blondell, Gary Cooper -- he stars in my next picture, "The Plainsman" -- Stuart Erwin and his lovely wife June Collier, Al Jolson, Ruby Keeler. There's Franchot Tone. Ah, and there's our mayor, Frank L. Shaw of Los Angeles. And I - I think I see Freddie March. I fed him to the lions the last time I directed him. ...

And now we ring up the curtain on the play of the evening, "The Legionnaire and the Lady," starring Marlene Dietrich and Clark Gable.

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

MUSIC:

FOR AN EXOTIC INTRODUCTION ... THEN IN BG, OUT AT [X]

HOST:

Algiers, the land of sun and sand, and yellow dunes that slope down to the sea. In the harbor of Port Nahar, a French steamship rides at anchor. Near the rail, gazing at the sunlit minarets of the tiny town, stands Amy Jolly, an entertainer from the shabby music halls of Europe. [X] Suddenly, she turns from the rail and speaks to the ship's steward.

SOUND:

HARBOR NOISES ... (SHIP'S BELLS, ET CETERA)

AMY:

Oh, steward?

STEWARD:

Oui, mademoiselle?

AMY:

Are we going to land soon?

STEWARD:

In a moment, mademoiselle. There's no pier in Algiers; the passengers must take a motor launch to the shore.

AMY:

Oh, thank you, steward.

STEWARD:

May I take care of your suitcase, mademoiselle?

AMY:

No, I'll carry it myself.

LA BESSIERE:

(OFF) Steward! May I see you for a moment?

STEWARD:

Oh, Monsieur La Bessiere. Of course. What can I do for you, monsieur?

LA BESSIERE:

My valet is in the stateroom with my luggage. Will you go in, please, and make arrangements to have it sent to the hotel?

STEWARD:

Of course, monsieur. (MOVING OFF) I will see to it at once.

SOUND:

THUMP! AMY DROPS HER SUITCASE WHICH FALLS OPEN, SPILLING CONTENTS

AMY:

(WEARILY) Ohh--

LA BESSIERE:

Mademoiselle, your suitcase.

AMY:

It was very stupid of me. That is the second time I've dropped it.

SOUND:

CONTENTS PICKED UP

LA BESSIERE:

Here, let me help you pick up your things.

AMY:

Oh, please don't bother.

LA BESSIERE:

Oh, it's no bother at all.

SOUND:

SUITCASE SHUTS

LA BESSIERE:

There you are.

AMY:

Merci, monsieur. You're very kind.

LA BESSIERE:

Why not? (INTERESTED) Is this your first visit to Algiers?

AMY:

(SUSPICIOUS) Yes.

LA BESSIERE:

I make the trip quite often. Perhaps I can be of some service.

AMY:

I think not, monsieur.

LA BESSIERE:

I'll be happy to help you.

AMY:

I won't need any help.

LA BESSIERE:

Well, if you do, you can always reach me at the Hotel du Pré. I am Monsieur La Bessiere.

AMY:

Merci, monsieur. But now -- will you excuse me?

LA BESSIERE:

Why, of course, mademoiselle.

SEAMAN:

(OFF) Going ashore! Going ashore! Passengers on first launch--!

STEWARD:

Monsieur La Bessiere, I have--

LA BESSIERE:

Oh, steward, come here. That woman who was standing here. Do you know who she is?

STEWARD:

Why, no, monsieur. A vaudeville actress probably.

LA BESSIERE:

A vaudeville actress? Well, just how do you know that?

STEWARD:

(CHUCKLES) We carry them every trip, monsieur. They come to sing and dance in the cafés here. We call them "suicide passengers." One way tickets. (SIGHS) They never return.

LA BESSIERE:

Hmm. What launch is she booked for?

STEWARD:

I believe the third, monsieur. And you?

LA BESSIERE:

(KNOWINGLY) Naturally, the third.

SOUND:

TRANSITION ... BOAT ENGINE ... FADES OUT FOR SLOSH OF WATER AT SHORE

SEAMAN:

All ashore! All ashore!

LA BESSIERE:

May I assist you, mademoiselle?

AMY:

Thank you.

SOUND:

THUMP AND CREAK OF RICKETY WOODEN GANGPLANK

LA BESSIERE:

Oh, be careful. That board they call a gangplank isn't very stable.

SOUND:

THEIR FOOTSTEPS DOWN GANGPLANK TO SOLID GROUND

LA BESSIERE:

Ah, there we are.

BIZ:

MURMUR OF CROWD, SELLERS HAWKING THEIR WARES, ET CETERA, IN BG

AMY:

There seems to be quite a crowd to greet us.

MUSIC:

LOCAL MUSICIANS PLAY AN EXOTIC MELODY ... IN BG

LA BESSIERE:

Yes, it's the usual thing. The natives here meet every boat. Sell you anything from a fez to a bottle of Arabic perfume.

AMY:

That fragrance in the air now -- that is not perfume.

LA BESSIERE:

(CHUCKLES) No. No, that's just the waterfront of Algiers. Shall we get away from here, mademoiselle?

AMY:

If you please.

LA BESSIERE:

The center of the town is this way. If you would like to take a carriage with me, I--

AMY:

No. I'll walk. I haven't far to go.

LA BESSIERE:

But your suitcase?

AMY:

It is very light, monsieur. No trouble at all.

LA BESSIERE:

Well, perhaps I'd better walk with you. The streets aren't very safe down here near the waterfront

AMY:

I'll be quite safe, monsieur.

MUSIC:

LOCAL MUSICIANS DROWNED OUT BY LEGIONNAIRES' SNARE DRUMS WHICH BEAT OUT A MARTIAL RHYTHM ... APPROACHING

AMY:

And look. There are soldiers to protect me. A whole regiment.

LA BESSIERE:

Yes. The Foreign Legion. Mostly criminals themselves, so I've heard. Won't you please ride with me?

AMY:

Thank you, monsieur, but I prefer to walk by myself.

LA BESSIERE:

As you wish, mademoiselle.

MUSIC:

DRUMS GROW LOUDER ... ALL GOES SILENT WITH CRY OF "HALT!"--

SERGEANT:

Company! Halt! (PAUSE) Now, listen here, fatheads! We're back home again. And just because you did a little fightin', I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin'-- (LAUGHS) "Well, here comes us, the Foreign Legion. Each man a hero. The whole town's ours and we're gonna rip it wide open." Well, forget it! This time you're gonna behave like gentlemen, even if it kills ya. (BEAT) Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, Legionnaire Brown. (SHARP) Legionnaire Tom Brown!

TOM:

Yes, sir?

SERGEANT:

Step forward here!

TOM:

Yes, sir.

SERGEANT:

Well, did you hear what I just said?

TOM:

Yes, sir.

SERGEANT:

What?

TOM:

Uh, well, uh--

SERGEANT:

You weren't listenin', were you?

TOM:

No, sir.

SERGEANT:

Why not?

TOM:

Uh, yes, sir. I mean--

SERGEANT:

Shut up!

TOM:

Yes, sir.

SERGEANT:

I wanna warn you, Brown. We're not back in the states now. This is Algiers, the Foreign Legion. If you go startin' up any trouble among the girls here, the way you did the last time, you're gonna find yourself in the jug. You get that? Now, go on, get back there in line.

TOM:

Yes, sir.

SERGEANT:

(TO ALL) And remember what I said, youse guys! Take it easy and act like gentlemen! Company -- dismissed!

BIZ:

LEGIONNAIRES MURMUR

MUSIC:

EXOTIC MELODY RESUMES FROM MARKETPLACE ... IN BACKGROUND

BLIMEY:

(CALLS) Hey, Tom?! Tom!

TOM:

Oh, hello, Blimey.

BLIMEY:

I say, what's eating the sergeant? Blimey, if I didn't think he was going to bite your head off.

TOM:

Aw, he doesn't worry me. He got that way from driving a hack. Say, where are you going tonight?

BLIMEY:

I don't know. After what the sergeant said about behaving like gentlemen, I don't know where to go.

TOM:

Ah, forget it. I know a little Spanish girl in this burg who can cook a steak to a turn. What do you say?

BLIMEY:

Suits me. If we can find a steak. In this here blasted heat, the steaks get cooked right on the cow.

TOM:

Come on, I'll find one. Say, I know this joint from top to bottom. Why, when I was here in-- (STOPS, AWESTRUCK) Hey. Hey, Blimey. Wait a minute. Blimey, will you look at that?

BLIMEY:

Eh? What? Where?

TOM:

That girl, carrying the suitcase.

BLIMEY:

Oh, blimey. She sure is a looker.

TOM:

Yeah, she sure is. I wonder what she's doing in this town.

BLIMEY:

Oh, dance hall girl, I suppose.

TOM:

Yeah. Well, maybe I'd better find out.

BLIMEY:

(PROTESTS) Here, wait; I thought we was going for a meal someplace.

TOM:

A little later, Blimey. This is pretty important.

BLIMEY:

Wait. Listen, Tom--

TOM:

(MOVING OFF) So long, Blimey.

BLIMEY:

(CALLS AFTER HIM) All right, go ahead and desert me. Ladykiller.

MUSIC:

FILLS A SLIGHT PAUSE

TOM:

Hello, sister.

AMY:

Hello, soldier.

TOM:

You going my way?

AMY:

It depends. Which way are you going?

TOM:

Any way you are. Here. Here, let me carry your suitcase for you.

AMY:

Don't bother. I'll carry it myself.

TOM:

Oh. Kind of independent, huh? Do you mind if I walk along with you?

AMY:

If you want.

TOM:

Well, that's friendly enough. How about stopping off for a drink? I know a little place--

AMY:

I'm sorry, monsieur, I have no time now.

TOM:

Oh, I get it. Okay, sister. If there isn't anything I can do for you--

AMY:

There is. You can tell me where is the Café Marrakesh.

TOM:

The Café Marrakesh? Oh, sure, it's just across the street. Come on, I'll show you.

AMY:

Thank you, monsieur.

TOM:

(BEAT) You work there?

AMY:

I'm a singer. If you are doing nothing tonight, you might come and hear me.

TOM:

Yeah. Okay. I'll remember that. Well, there you are -- it's that door there. Anything else?

AMY:

Nothing.

TOM:

Okay. I'll see you tonight.

MUSIC:

FADES OUT

SOUND:

TRANSITIONAL PAUSE ... THEN KNOCK ON DOOR

LO TINTO:

Entro!

SOUND:

DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS

AMY:

Is this the Café Marrakesh?

LO TINTO:

It is. I am Lo Tinto, the proprietor.

AMY:

And I am Amy Jolly.

LO TINTO:

Amy Jolly? Oh, yes, yes, I have your letter here somewhere. You are ready to work tonight?

AMY:

Of course.

LO TINTO:

Good. Your dressing room is at the end of the hall. Go there and wait for me. I, er-- I want to have a talk with you before you go on.

AMY:

Very well, monsieur.

MUSIC:

FOR A TRANSITION ... CAFE ORCHESTRA ... SNAPPY TEMPO ... THEN IN BG

BIZ:

BOISTEROUS CAFE CROWD BACKGROUND

SOUND:

KNOCK AT DRESSING ROOM DOOR

AMY:

Come in.

SOUND:

DRESSING ROOM DOOR OPENS

LO TINTO:

Ah, mademoiselle, the house, she is packed. This is a great night for you. If you make a hit, you can stay here as long as you like.

AMY:

You're very kind, Monsieur Lo Tinto.

LO TINTO:

And now, mademoiselle, one word of advice. Pick yourself a protector; it will give you prestige. And always choose an officer in the Legion. The private, he is nobody. Pick the officers. They have the money. You understand?

AMY:

Perfectly.

LO TINTO:

Good. Are you ready to sing now? I will go out and make the announcement.

AMY:

In a moment.

LO TINTO:

(MOVING OFF) Good. Then come as soon as you can.

SOUND:

DOOR SHUTS ... CROWD UP TO FILL A PAUSE, THEN IN BACKGROUND

BLIMEY:

Tommy, this is a good table. Right up in front, among the best.

TOM:

Shut up; we're not supposed to be here.

BLIMEY:

Why not?

TOM:

Not with an adjutant in the house. Old man Caesar sitting over there. See him?

BLIMEY:

Blimey, if he ain't the old goat.

TOM:

Yeah, if he's seen me here, he's probably complained to Lo Tinto.

BLIMEY:

Well, don't he like ya? The adjutant?

TOM:

Like me? (LAUGHS) Say, he'd stick a bayonet in my back and laugh doing it.

MUSIC:

A FANFARE ... THEN OUT

BIZ:

CAFE CROWD APPLAUDS

LO TINTO:

Ladies and gentlemen, the Café Marrakesh is honored tonight by the presence of the distinguished painter, Monsieur La Bessiere and my old friend Adjutant Caesar of the Foreign Legion. Tonight, we open the program with Mademoiselle Amy Jolly, a newcomer whom I hope you will receive with your usual discriminating kindness.

BIZ:

RAUCOUS LAUGHTER FROM CAFE CROWD

GABON:

Oh, we'll treat her very kind! Maybe she come sit on my lap!

TOM:

(TO BLIMEY) Who's the wise guy?

BLIMEY:

Gabon, Company C.

LO TINTO:

Ladies and gentlemen, I take-a pleasure in presenting Mademoiselle Amy Jolly!

MUSIC:

CAFE ORCHESTRA ... FOR AMY'S ENTRANCE ... "FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN"

BIZ:

RAUCOUS GREETING FROM CROWD WHICH NEARLY DROWNS OUT GABON--

GABON:

(IN FRENCH, BADGERING AMY AT THE FOOTLIGHTS)

AMY:

Let me go, please!

TOM:

He's looking for a sock. Now he's going to get it.

AMY:

(STRUGGLES, TO GABON) Let me go!

BLIMEY:

Hey, wait, Tom! Tom, come back here.

MUSIC:

CAFE ORCHESTRA OUT, AWKWARDLY

GABON:

But I insist! Look, mademoiselle, I'll show you how we make love in the Legion! You will like it!

BIZ:

CROWD LAUGHS AND EGGS HIM ON ... THEN SUBSIDES BEHIND--

AMY:

(TENSE) Stop it, I say. Stop it.

GABON:

Oh, but, mademoiselle, you are enchanting tonight!

TOM:

All right, Gabon, take your hands off that girl!

GABON:

(UNHAPPILY, TO TOM) Say, what is that?

TOM:

You heard me. Leave her alone.

GABON:

I take no orders from you. Gabon do what he likes!

TOM:

So do I! How do you like that?

GABON:

(GRUNTS AS--)

SOUND:

TOM PUNCHES GABON WHO FALLS TO THE FLOOR ... CROWD REACTS ... THEN SUBSIDES IN BACKGROUND

TOM:

There's more where that came from, Gabon. Get up and I'll put you away for keeps.

BLIMEY:

Nice work, Tom!

LO TINTO:

(APPROACHES) Gentlemen, please! Gentlemen, no fighting here! Everyone back to their tables. (TO WAITER) Francois?! Throw that Gabon out and keep him out! (TO ALL) Everyone-a, please -- back to your tables. Mademoiselle Amy Jolly will sing later. (LOW, TO AMY) Amy, go to your dressing room. (TO MUSICIANS) Orchestra! Orchestra! Play!

MUSIC:

CAFE ORCHESTRA PLAYS SOMETHING SOOTHING IN BACKGROUND

TOM:

Go ahead, sister. You never can tell what'll happen now.

AMY:

May I say thank you, monsieur?

TOM:

Aw, that's all right; I had a good time myself.

BLIMEY:

He had it comin' to him all right, he did.

LO TINTO:

(OFF) Amy? Come along!

AMY:

Excuse me, monsieur. Here, take this.

BLIMEY:

Hey, Tom -- she threw you a flower.

TOM:

(PLEASED) I know it. You think I'm blind?

BLIMEY:

Say, she's a little bit of all right. I like her.

TOM:

Your taste is improving.

SOUND:

AFTER A SLIGHT PAUSE FILLED BY THE MUSIC AND CROWD, AMY'S DRESSING ROOM DOOR SHUTS (CROWD NOISE DOWN)

AMY:

Well, Monsieur Lo Tinto, my first appearance was not a success.

LO TINTO:

(LIGHTLY) Ho ho ho. That is-a nothing. (CHUCKLES) A common occurrence here in Algiers. But I have-a news. Adjutant Caesar has already asked for the honor of your company.

AMY:

Adjutant Caesar? Who is he?

LO TINTO:

Oh, a very important man, high in the Foreign Legion. And, er -- (CHUCKLES) -- one of my best customers.

AMY:

Tell the adjutant I'll try to oblige him--

LO TINTO:

Good.

AMY:

When I find the time.

LO TINTO:

(DISAPPOINTED) Oh. (CHANGES SUBJECT) And now, mademoiselle, you must go out there again. Not to sing-a this time. This time, you sell apples. That is a most important thing. You go around the hall from table to table and sell all you can. Ten percent is yours and ninety percent is mine. (CLEARS THROAT) You will make a fortune.

AMY:

(CHUCKLES) Give me the basket, monsieur.

LO TINTO:

Good. Here. Go now.

SOUND:

DRESSING ROOM DOOR OPENS ... CROWD NOISE UP

MUSIC:

CAFE ORCHESTRA UP ... THEN IN BG

AMY:

(MECHANICAL SPIEL) An apple, sir? Who will buy an apple? An apple, sir?

LA BESSIERE:

Mademoiselle?

AMY:

Oh, Monsieur la Bessiere. We meet once more, monsieur.

LA BESSIERE:

I didn't anticipate this pleasure so soon. Can I also have an apple?

SOUND:

PROFFERS MONEY

AMY:

But I have no change for that.

LA BESSIERE:

I hardly expected you would have.

AMY:

You are, again, very kind.

LA BESSIERE:

Mademoiselle, may I have the honor of your company after the performance?

AMY:

I'm sorry. I have disposed of the balance of the evening.

LA BESSIERE:

Some other time, perhaps.

AMY:

Of course. You will excuse me now, please? (BEAT, RESUMES HER SPIEL) Apple? An apple, sir?

CAESAR:

Here, mademoiselle.

MUSIC:

CAFE ORCHESTRA FINISHES ITS NUMBER

AMY:

You wish to buy, sir?

CAESAR:

Later, perhaps. I am Adjutant Caesar.

AMY:

Oh, yes?

CAESAR:

I have already spoken to Lo Tinto concerning you. Sit down.

AMY:

I'm sorry, adjutant.

CAESAR:

You mean you refuse to sit with me?

AMY:

I'm very busy now. Some other time, monsieur.

CAESAR:

But some other time won't do, mademoiselle. I would like your company here and now.

AMY:

Would you? It is a shame, adjutant, but I must disappoint you. (MOVING OFF) Who will buy an apple? An apple, sir? An apple?

BLIMEY:

Here she comes, Tom. She's selling apples.

AMY:

Good evening, soldier.

TOM:

Good evening, mademoiselle. Er, thanks for the flower.

AMY:

Can I offer you an apple, too?

TOM:

Yeah, sure. Lend me twenty francs, Blimey.

BLIMEY:

That makes sixty you owe me. Here you are.

TOM:

Take it, mademoiselle.

AMY:

Thank you.

TOM:

Two weeks pay is a lot of money for an apple.

AMY:

You can have it for nothing -- if you like.

TOM:

Oh, no, no; nothing doing. I always pay for what I get. I'd sit down if I were you. Come on.

AMY:

(RESISTS, WITH EFFORT) You needn't pull me down, soldier.

TOM:

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.

AMY:

You're very brave, aren't you?

TOM:

Oh, I don't know. Why? Do you like brave men?

AMY:

Perhaps.

TOM:

Hey, wait. Where are you going?

AMY:

I'm busy now, but later, I'll be out there, on the balcony.

TOM:

Okay. I'll see you later.

MUSIC:

TRANSITION

TOM:

You can smell the desert tonight. Hot, isn't it?

AMY:

Cooler than inside.

TOM:

Expect to stay in Algiers very long?

AMY:

Who knows? They say when a singer comes here to work, she stays forever.

TOM:

I've seen it work out that way.

CAESAR:

(APPROACHES) I beg your pardon.

TOM:

Adjutant.

CAESAR:

Good evening, mademoiselle.

AMY:

Good evening, Adjutant Caesar.

CAESAR:

I saw you come out this way and I gathered that you were no longer very busy.

AMY:

But I am. You see, I invited this gentleman to come out here and sit with me.

CAESAR:

Oh, I see. (CHUCKLES) Well, mademoiselle, you are new in Algiers. Perhaps you do not realize that this, er, "gentleman," as you call him, is a legionnaire, a private.

AMY:

I choose my company by their looks, not by their medals.

CAESAR:

Am I to take it then that you prefer his company to mine?

AMY:

Take it as you like, monsieur.

CAESAR:

Thank you. But I am still the adjutant here. Legionnaire Brown, you will please leave here at once.

TOM:

I'm off-duty, sir.

CAESAR:

I asked you to leave. Did you hear me?

TOM:

Yes, sir. But the lady has asked me to stay.

CAESAR:

May I remind you that I am your superior officer?

TOM:

I'm sorry, sir, but I'm going to stay.

CAESAR:

Very well. Legionnaire Brown, you will report to headquarters in the morning. Report to me -- personally.

TOM:

Very good, sir.

CAESAR:

Good night, mademoiselle. (EXITS)

AMY:

(BEAT) You shouldn't have done that.

TOM:

I know it.

AMY:

You think being here with me is worth the risk?

TOM:

Sure. If you think so.

MUSIC:

BRIEF TRANSITION ... THEN AMY BANGS OUT A FEW BARS OF "FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN" ON A SLIGHTLY OUT-OF-TUNE PIANO ... THEN STOPS

TOM:

Go on. Play some more.

AMY:

I think you'd better go now, soldier.

TOM:

All right, lady. You won't have any trouble getting rid of me.

AMY:

Nothing like independence, is there?

TOM:

Well, maybe I am independent -- with women.

AMY:

You evidently don't think much of women.

TOM:

Well, I'll tell you, lady; it's their fault, not mine.

AMY:

Been in the Legion very long?

TOM:

Almost three years. Three years! (CHUCKLES) Seems like three hundred.

AMY:

You sound tired of life.

TOM:

Well, I don't know whether I am or not. I was when I joined this outfit. Well, how about you, mademoiselle? Been on the stage very long?

AMY:

Long enough.

TOM:

Tired of it?

AMY:

No.

TOM:

Well, what in the name of ten thousand corporals did you come to a country like this for anyway?

AMY:

I understand that men are never asked why they enter the Foreign Legion.

TOM:

That's right -- they never asked me. And if they had, I wouldn't have told. When I crashed the Legion, I ditched the past.

AMY:

There's a foreign legion of women, too. But we have no uniforms -- no flags and no medals -- where we are going. No wound stripes when we are hurt.

TOM:

Look here. Is there anything I can do to help you?

AMY:

No. I've heard that before. Or did you think you can restore my faith in men?

TOM:

Oh, no, no, no -- not me. You've got the wrong man for that. Anybody who has faith in me is a sucker.

AMY:

(BEAT) You'd better go now. I'm beginning to like you.

MUSIC:

SNEAKS IN ("FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN")

TOM:

You know, I've told women about everything a man can say. But I'm going to tell you something I've never told a woman before. (BEAT) I wish I'd met you ten years ago. Good night.

AMY:

Good night. And thank you.

MUSIC:

UP FOR A CURTAIN

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

ANNOUNCER:

We pause for station identification. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.

HOST:

Marlene Dietrich and Clark Gable, in the Lux Radio Theatre's presentation of "The Legionnaire and the Lady," continue in just a moment. Meanwhile, we'll give you a glimpse behind the scenes in Hollywood as we take you on a quick tour of the screen capital.

MUSIC:

WHIRLWIND FANFARE

ANNOUNCER:

First stop in Hollywood! The main casting office of the Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer studio -- a seething mass of men and women seeking jobs. We enter as two hopeful young extra girls are talking in a corner.

JOAN:

I heard they're casting twenty-five girls for Joan Crawford's new picture, "The Gorgeous Hussy."

ALICE:

Think we stand a chance?

JOAN:

You bet I do!

ALICE:

What makes you so sure?

JOAN:

Oh, because in this scene, it's your face and shoulders that count. They're casting complexions today.

ALICE:

Mm, that's okay for you, but look at me! I wish my complexion looked as nice as yours. Maybe there is something in the way you take care of it. That business of removing cosmetics thoroughly with Lux Toilet Soap. I guess I'm just one of those cosmetic skin girls they talk about.

JOAN:

Oh, well. Don't worry.

CASTING:

(CALLS, OFF) Hey, Joan!

JOAN:

(TO ALICE) Oh, wait a minute -- they're calling to me. (CALLS) What is it?

CASTING:

Okay for you, today!

JOAN:

(THRILLED, TO ALICE) Oh, he'll use me in the scene at the Dutch embassy! (CALLS) Hey, mister? What about my friend?

CASTING:

Ehhh, can't use her.

JOAN:

Gee, Alice. I'm sorry.

MUSIC:

TURBULENT BRIDGE

ANNOUNCER:

And now, a table for two at the fashionable Trocadero, the supper club that is the rendezvous of the stars.

MUSIC:

CLUB ORCHESTRA PLAYS IRVING BERLIN'S "A PRETTY GIRL IS LIKE A MELODY"

MAN:

You look lovely tonight, darling. Perfectly adorable.

WOMAN:

(CHUCKLES MODESTLY) Darling, you're just saying that.

MAN:

No, honest. You've got everything that any of those movie stars dancing there have. And especially that knockout of a complexion.

WOMAN:

Well, darling, maybe you should thank those stars for that -- because I take care of my complexion the same way they do.

MAN:

Well, I don't know about thanking those stars for what you do, but I sure thank my stars for what you are.

MUSIC:

UP AND OUT

ANNOUNCER:

Every girl needs a lovely complexion -- and the movie stars here in Hollywood have shown you how to keep skin lovely. Don't allow dust and dirt, stale rouge and powder to clog the pores. Before you put on fresh make-up during the day, always before you go to bed at night, use Lux Toilet Soap.

MUSIC:

GONG! EXOTIC THEME ... THEN OUT BEHIND--

HOST:

Marlene Dietrich as Amy Jolly and Clark Gable as Legionnaire Tom Brown continue with our play, "The Legionnaire and the Lady." It has been several hours since Tom told Amy that he wished he had met her ten years sooner. At Foreign Legion headquarters, his head reeling from the heat of the tiny office in which he sits, Adjutant Caesar is working at his desk. An orderly enters.

SOUND:

OFFICE DOOR OPENS

ORDERLY:

Adjutant?

CAESAR:

Yes? What is it?

ORDERLY:

Legionnaire Brown's here.

CAESAR:

Oh, is he? Tell him to come in.

ORDERLY:

Oui, monsieur. (TO TOM) Entrez.

TOM:

(APPROACHES) Thanks.

SOUND:

OFFICE DOOR SHUTS

TOM:

Good morning, adjutant. You asked me to report to you this morning.

CAESAR:

I've not forgotten. Stand over there. Legionnaire Brown, I think it is hardly necessary to remind you that insubordination is a serious offense.

TOM:

Insubordination? But I was off-duty.

CAESAR:

Off-duty or on-duty, the word of a superior officer is law. When you refuse to obey, you are therefore guilty of a breach of conduct and subject to court-martial. Report to the sergeant and place yourself under arrest.

TOM:

Yes, sir. (BEAT, WISELY) Of course, there's, uh, nothing personal in this. I mean, uh, you're not just sore about last night or anything?

CAESAR:

Oh, you forget yourself.

TOM:

No, I don't. You have no reason to court-martial me, except that you wanted that girl to yourself. And I took her out from under your nose.

CAESAR:

Silence!

TOM:

Silence, your foot! You don't scare me worth a nickel.

CAESAR:

Well, a year in prison might.

TOM:

Well, you ought to know.

CAESAR:

What's that?

TOM:

A year in prison. That's short compared to what you were going to serve, before you escaped.

CAESAR:

Are you quite sure you know what you're talking about?

TOM:

I'm talking about a little matter of homicide -- murder -- in Berlin. The murderer's name was Caesar. He got thirty years, but he escaped. It's a funny thing -- he looked just like you, adjutant -- without the moustache.

CAESAR:

(FURIOUS) Legionnaire Brown, you--! (CATCHES HIMSELF, CHUCKLES) You're a fool.

TOM:

Sure. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be in the Foreign Legion, sweating blood for a rat like you.

SOUND:

KNOCK AT DOOR ... NO ANSWER ... KNOCK AGAIN

CAESAR:

Entrez!

SOUND:

OFFICE DOOR OPENS

ORDERLY:

That woman's here, adjutant. The one you sent for.

CAESAR:

Send her in.

ORDERLY:

This way, mademoiselle.

CAESAR:

(TO AMY) Good morning.

SOUND:

OFFICE DOOR SHUTS

AMY:

Good morning. You wished to see me?

CAESAR:

If you don't mind.

TOM:

(GOOD-NATURED, TO AMY) Hello.

AMY:

(GLUMLY) Oh. Are you here, too?

TOM:

(MERRILY) Yeah, sure. You never can tell where you'll run into me.

CAESAR:

For the next few days, we'll know exactly where to run into you. (CALLS) Orderly?

SOUND:

OFFICE DOOR OPENS

ORDERLY:

Yes, adjutant?

CAESAR:

Take this man to the guardhouse.

AMY:

The guardhouse? What for?

CAESAR:

That's the Legion's business, mademoiselle. And mine. (TO ORDERLY) Take him.

ORDERLY:

(TO TOM) Allez.

TOM:

Sure, sure. I'm sorry I couldn't stay, mademoiselle. (MOVING OFF) Good morning, adjutant.

SOUND:

OFFICE DOOR SHUTS

AMY:

What are you going to do with him?

CAESAR:

That is not the question at the moment, mademoiselle. The question is, what are we going to do with you?

AMY:

I don't understand you, monsieur.

CAESAR:

No? It is the policy of the Legion, mademoiselle, not to interfere in the private affairs of any resident. But when the private affairs of the resident intrude upon the performance of a soldier's duty, we find it necessary to - take steps.

AMY:

What steps?

CAESAR:

Such as asking the person to leave Algiers. In the future, mademoiselle, will you please act accordingly? That's all.

AMY:

One moment. Last night was my fault, more than the legionnaire's. I ask you to - to be lenient with him

CAESAR:

You were not very lenient with me, mademoiselle.

AMY:

Please.

CAESAR:

(CURT) There is nothing I can do. Good morning.

AMY:

Good morning.

MUSIC:

TRANSITION

AMY:

There's the story, Monsieur La Bessiere. You said I should come to you if I needed help. I need it now.

LA BESSIERE:

I think the legionnaire is the one who needs help.

AMY:

Monsieur La Bessiere, what will they do to him?

LA BESSIERE:

I don't know. Personally, I shouldn't care to have Adjutant Caesar as an enemy.

AMY:

I seem to have the unhappy faculty of causing trouble wherever I go.

LA BESSIERE:

(LAUGHS) Nonsense. You know, I - I carry some weight with Caesar. Possibly I can help you.

AMY:

Every time a man has helped me, there has been a price. What's yours?

LA BESSIERE:

My price? A smile.

AMY:

I can pay that, monsieur.

LA BESSIERE:

Where is the legionnaire now?

AMY:

In the guardhouse. I saw him this afternoon. I bribed the guard.

LA BESSIERE:

Did you tell him you were coming to me?

AMY:

No. He says not to worry, that he'll be out before morning.

LA BESSIERE:

Well, perhaps he will.

SOUND:

TRANSITIONAL PAUSE ... JAILHOUSE DOOR UNLOCKS AND OPENS

GUARD:

He's in the third cell, sergeant.

SOUND:

SERGEANT'S FOOTSTEPS TO CELL

SERGEANT:

(UNHAPPY) Legionnaire Brown?

TOM:

Oh, hello, sergeant. Nice of you to call. Sit down. Make yourself comfortable.

SERGEANT:

No wise cracks, youse. No wise cracks. Here's your pass.

TOM:

Hey, you mean I'm getting out of this joint?

SOUND:

CELL DOOR OPENS

SERGEANT:

Yeah, the door's wide open and you can do as you like -- until seven o'clock in the morning.

TOM:

What's the idea of this?

SERGEANT:

You're leaving for Amalfa Pass tomorrow.

TOM:

Oh, no, no, not me. You know, I'm beginning to like this town. Tell Caesar I'm not going.

SERGEANT:

(LAUGHS) Tell him yourself; he's going along this time.

TOM:

Who's going along?

SERGEANT:

You heard what I said. Caesar's going.

TOM:

Oh. Yeah?

SERGEANT:

Yeah. Now go on. Get out of here.

TOM:

Yeah, sure, sure. So long, sergeant.

SERGEANT:

(AN OUTBURST) And see if you can stay out of here for once in a while!

TOM:

(MOVING OFF) Well, I'll do my best.

SOUND:

JAILHOUSE DOOR SHUTS

BLIMEY:

Tom? Hey, Tom!

TOM:

(LOW, TENSE) Hey, Blimey! Blimey, come here.

BLIMEY:

Tom, I've been waiting for you outside here.

TOM:

Yeah? Well, don't talk now; let's get away from here.

BLIMEY:

Eh?

TOM:

Come on, come on, come on; keep walking.

BLIMEY:

Well, what's up? You're out, ain't you?

TOM:

Yeah, until seven o'clock tomorrow morning.

BLIMEY:

'Struth? They ain't going to give you a court-martial?

TOM:

Oh, no, not Mr. Caesar. He got a better idea than that. I think I'm onto him. He's going to get me out on the desert, face me in the right direction, and put a bullet in my back.

BLIMEY:

(SKEPTICAL) Put a bullet in--? Oh, the heat's got ya.

TOM:

You think so?

BLIMEY:

Well, what would Caesar want to plug you for anyway?

TOM:

My old failing, Blimey. I talked right in his beard and told him what was what. You see, I know something about that bird -- and now he knows I know it.

BLIMEY:

'Struth?

TOM:

But he's not going to use me for target practice. I'm through with the army, Blimey; washed up. I've been looking for the right kind of woman all my life -- and I think I've found her.

BLIMEY:

Now, listen here. If you're talking 'bout the mad'moiselle at the cafe--

TOM:

That's who, Blimey.

BLIMEY:

Well, you're crazy. She ain't nothing but a cheap little gold--

TOM:

Oh, no, she isn't, Blimey; she's all right. And I'm quitting the army and taking her out of here tonight.

BLIMEY:

You don't say? Do you have any idea what the penalty is for desertion?

TOM:

Say, there's a hundred ways of dying, brother -- and I'm picking my own!

MUSIC:

GRIM TRANSITION ... THEN A BURST OF CAFE FRIVOLITY WHICH ENDS WITH--

SOUND:

CAFE CROWD APPLAUSE ... THEN KNOCK AT DRESSING ROOM DOOR

AMY:

Come in.

SOUND:

DRESSING ROOM DOOR OPENS

LA BESSIERE:

Good evening, mademoiselle.

AMY:

Monsieur La Bessiere, come in.

SOUND:

DRESSING ROOM DOOR CLOSES, SHUTTING OFF CAFE CROWD

LA BESSIERE:

And how are you this evening?

AMY:

I'm well, thank you. The flowers you sent are wonderful.

LA BESSIERE:

Not half so wonderful as I should wish.

AMY:

Any news of him?

LA BESSIERE:

Some. He's not to be court-martialed, but they are going to transfer him.

AMY:

(DISAPPOINTED) Oh. Oh, that means he will have to leave town.

LA BESSIERE:

Of course.

AMY:

I see.

LA BESSIERE:

Do you love him?

AMY:

I don't know. I hope not.

LA BESSIERE:

Look, I've brought you something.

AMY:

Brought me something?

LA BESSIERE:

A bracelet. May I put it on you?

AMY:

I can't accept this, monsieur. It's worth a fortune.

LA BESSIERE:

Anything of less value would be unworthy of you.

AMY:

I'm sorry, monsieur; I cannot take it.

LA BESSIERE:

(WITH A CHUCKLE) Well, let me leave it here on the dressing table. If you should change your mind--

AMY:

I won't.

LA BESSIERE:

Has anyone ever told you that I'm a very wealthy man?

AMY:

I've heard so.

LA BESSIERE:

Does it mean so little to you?

AMY:

In what way, monsieur?

LA BESSIERE:

I'd like to take you away from here.

AMY:

Would you? Exactly what do you offer now?

LA BESSIERE:

The conventional thing. My offer is highly respectable. Marriage.

AMY:

You're a strange man.

LA BESSIERE:

You find it so strange that I should be fond of you?

AMY:

Must I answer you now?

LA BESSIERE:

I'd sleep better tonight if you did. Well?

AMY:

I don't think I care to take advantage of your tempting offer.

LA BESSIERE:

Then you're in love?

AMY:

(AMUSED) Nooo. I don't think I am.

LA BESSIERE:

Supposing you'd never met a certain private in the Foreign Legion, what would your answer have been?

AMY:

It might have been the same. I don't know.

SOUND:

KNOCK AT DOOR

AMY:

Come in.

SOUND:

DRESSING ROOM DOOR OPENS

TOM:

Hello.

AMY:

(BEAT, SURPRISED) You!

SOUND:

DRESSING ROOM DOOR CLOSES BEHIND--

TOM:

Yeah, I'm sorry to bust in like this, but I'm leaving for the Sahara in the morning and I just came to say goodbye.

AMY:

Tomorrow? Very short notice, isn't it?

LA BESSIERE:

I think you two will want to be alone. (TO TOM) I understand you're leaving on a rather strenuous journey. May I wish you good luck?

TOM:

Thanks.

LA BESSIERE:

À bientôt, mademoiselle.

AMY:

À bientôt.

SOUND:

LA BESSIERE EXITS AS DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS

AMY:

Will you be gone long? When will I see you again?

TOM:

Well, maybe never.

AMY:

Never?

TOM:

Yeah. You see, something tells me I'm not coming back this time.

AMY:

Then you must not go.

TOM:

You know, it's funny, but that's just what I was thinking. I could desert and board a freighter for Europe tonight.

AMY:

Why don't you?

TOM:

I would in a minute -- if you'd go with me.

AMY:

You really want me to?

TOM:

I really want you to. You know, you've done something to me. I don't know what, but I've been thinking about you every minute since I saw you. Will you come with me?

AMY:

Yes. I'll go with you.

MUSIC:

CAFE ORCHESTRA SNEAKS IN ... "FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN"

SOUND:

KNOCK AT DOOR

AMY:

(CALLS) Who is it?

LO TINTO:

(BEHIND DOOR) It is I, Lo Tinto! It is time for you to sell apples! Why are you not outside?

AMY:

(CALLS) In a moment! (LOW, TO TOM) Wait here for me. I'll be back.

SOUND:

DRESSING ROOM DOOR OPENS

MUSIC:

UP ... FILLS A PAUSE ... CONTINUES IN BACKGROUND

LA BESSIERE:

(ENTERS) Oh, excuse me. Heh. I thought perhaps that you'd gone.

TOM:

No, no, not yet. I'm waiting here for Mademoiselle Amy to come back.

LA BESSIERE:

Of course. A wonderful girl, isn't she?

TOM:

Oh, you've noticed that, too.

LA BESSIERE:

Everyone has. And I believe I've fallen a little farther than the rest.

TOM:

Oh, yes?

LA BESSIERE:

Not that it's done me any good.

TOM:

What do you mean?

LA BESSIERE:

She's refused me.

TOM:

Refused you? You offered to marry her?

LA BESSIERE:

Yes, about ten minutes ago. Here, in this room.

TOM:

Oh, I see. She never mentioned that.

LA BESSIERE:

Why should she?

TOM:

Say, you're a rich guy aren't you? Plenty of dough?

LA BESSIERE:

So my lawyers tell me. Didn't make much difference with Mademoiselle Amy. She wouldn't even accept a gift from me -- that bracelet there on the dressing table. I left it in the hope that she might change her mind, but I'm sure she won't. I'm afraid I'm fighting a lost cause.

TOM:

(LAUGHS) You know, that's a laugh, isn't it?

LA BESSIERE:

That I should want to marry her?

TOM:

Oh, no, no, no, I wasn't thinking of that. I was thinking of myself. Legionnaire Tom Brown -- twenty bucks a month and keep -- trying to pull the "kind uncle" act with a girl who could marry a millionaire. (CHUCKLES) You know, I might have known it was too good to be true.

LA BESSIERE:

Suppose she's in love with you.

TOM:

And suppose she's not. What difference does it make? Do you think I'm going to step all over the biggest chance of her life? Oh, no, not me, mister. I may be only a buck private in a tin sword army, but I know when to take a walk -- and I'm taking one now.

LA BESSIERE:

Are you sure you're doing the best for her?

TOM:

Well, it's best -- for her. Do me a favor, will ya? She'll be coming back here in a minute. When she does, let me talk to her alone.

LA BESSIERE:

Of course. What are you going to tell her?

TOM:

Well, I don't know -- yet. But I'll think of something. I'll pick a fight with her; I'll make her sore at me. When I make my exit, she'll probably be glad to see me go.

LA BESSIERE:

Well, do as you think best. (MOVING OFF) Good luck.

SOUND:

DRESSING ROOM DOOR SHUTS ... CAFE CROWD APPLAUDS AS--

MUSIC:

CAFE ORCHESTRA FINISHES ITS NUMBER

SOUND:

AFTER A BEAT, DRESSING ROOM DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS

AMY:

Was I long?

TOM:

Yes, a little. I was just leaving.

AMY:

Leaving? But I'm not ready yet.

TOM:

I wasn't thinking of you. I'm going alone.

AMY:

Has anything happened?

TOM:

Yeah, a lot's happened. I've changed my mind, sister.

AMY:

Why?

TOM:

I'm no sucker, lady. Maybe you thought I was, but I'm not.

AMY:

Tom, I don't know what you're talking about.

TOM:

Oh, yes, you do. I've been on the level with you and I thought you were with me. But you shouldn't have left me here alone. I saw too much.

AMY:

What did you see?

TOM:

That pretty little diamond bracelet over there on the dressing table.

AMY:

Well?

TOM:

A new acquisition, isn't it? Or are you going to tell me you borrowed it from a girlfriend?

AMY:

It was given to me tonight. I haven't accepted it yet.

TOM:

Oh, that's a better one. Go ahead, sister; it sounds swell.

AMY:

You think that I--?

TOM:

I don't have to think! Girls like you don't wear diamonds. And when they do-- Well, that doesn't go with me. I'm hard-boiled, but not enough for that stuff. A one-man woman is what I want, or nothing at all. This time, it's nothing at all. So long, sister.

SOUND:

TOM STRIDES TO DOOR WHICH OPENS AND SHUTS AS HE EXITS

MUSIC:

DRUM AND BUGLE FANFARE, FOR A TRANSITION ... DRUMS BEAT OUT A MARCH WHICH CONTINUES IN BACKGROUND

LA BESSIERE:

There goes your soldier, mademoiselle.

AMY:

Yes, he didn't desert after all.

LA BESSIERE:

I beg your pardon?

AMY:

Nothing.

LA BESSIERE:

Oh, I'm sorry.

SERGEANT:

(BARKS INDECIPHERABLE MARCHING ORDERS, OFF)

AMY:

How straight they march when they go out.

LA BESSIERE:

Yes, until the heat gets them. It's a bad section they're going to.

AMY:

I wonder how many of them will come back.

LA BESSIERE:

Are you worried about all of them or - just one?

AMY:

What good is it to worry about anything? (BEAT) Those women, marching behind the men, who are they?

LA BESSIERE:

The women? I would call them the rear guard.

AMY:

How can they keep pace with the men?

LA BESSIERE:

Sometimes they catch up with them, and sometimes they don't. Very often, when they do, they find their men dead.

AMY:

Those women must be mad.

LA BESSIERE:

Oh, I don't know. You see, they love their men.

AMY:

Ah, they're even madder than I thought.

MUSIC:

DRUMS UP, FOR A TRANSITION ... OUT WITH--

SOUND:

BIG BURST OF GUNFIRE! INTERMITTENT GUNFIRE DURING FOLLOWING--

SERGEANT:

Down! Everyone down!

VOICE:

Get down there, Tom! Get down, do you hear?!

TOM:

All right, all right, but I don't see what good it does! We only have to get up again! Anyhow, those walking bedsheets can't shoot straight.

SERGEANT:

Oh, no? Well, you'll think different when you get a bullet in your chest.

TOM:

Whew! This heat's enough to melt a guy.

SERGEANT:

Aw, shut up. If you don't like this war, why don't you quit?

TOM:

I was going to, sergeant, but, you see, I've turned decent.

SERGEANT:

What?

TOM:

I said, I've turned decent. I'm in love.

SERGEANT:

(LAUGHS) You? That's a riot, that is.

BLIMEY:

Hello, Tom.

TOM:

Hey-- Blimey? What the devil are you doing here?

BLIMEY:

Just come up with the relief.

SOUND:

BIG BURST OF GUNFIRE!

BLIMEY:

Nearly had me head off that time.

SERGEANT:

It's that blasted machine gun up there on the hill.

CAESAR:

Sergeant? Sergeant?!

SERGEANT:

Yes, sir?

TOM:

(ASIDE) Here comes the adjutant, Blimey. I'm in for something.

CAESAR:

Have you spotted that machine gun?

SERGEANT:

It's up there someplace, sir.

CAESAR:

Did send out a scout? (TO TOM) Legionnaire Brown?

TOM:

(TO HIMSELF) I knew it.

CAESAR:

Legionnaire Brown?!

TOM:

Yes, sir?

CAESAR:

Take a man with you and spot that machine gun. If you get close enough, use your hand grenades. It must be destroyed.

TOM:

Yes, sir.

BLIMEY:

I'll go with him, sir.

TOM:

Blimey, are you crazy?

CAESAR:

Quiet! You can go with him if you want.

BLIMEY:

Thank you, sir. It'll be a real pleasure.

CAESAR:

Report to me when you get back.

TOM:

Yeah, when and if we get back. (TO SERGEANT) Well, I had the right hunch, didn't I?

SERGEANT:

That's too bad, Brown.

TOM:

Yeah. Well--

SERGEANT:

Hey, wait a minute, you! How about those ten francs you owe me?

TOM:

Aw, shut up! Come on, Blimey.

BLIMEY:

Right behind you, Tom.

VOICE:

So long, fellas.

SERGEANT:

Go on, you mugs.

TOM:

Okay, Blimey, we'll crawl along this trough and slip over the ridge down there.

BLIMEY:

Right.

SOUND:

MACHINE GUN FIRE!

BLIMEY:

Eh, they're making it tough for us. (LOW) Hey-- Look!

TOM:

What?

BLIMEY:

Over there. The adjutant. He's leaning behind that sand dune.

TOM:

This is it, Blimey. Here's where I get that bullet in my back.

BLIMEY:

No, you don't. If he makes a move for his gun, I'll let him have it, right between the eyes.

TOM:

Don't be a fool.

BLIMEY:

There he goes.

TOM:

Put that gun down! Put it down!

BLIMEY:

Leave me alone! Leave me alone!

SOUND:

BIG BURST OF MACHINE GUN FIRE! ... THEN SILENCE

BLIMEY:

Somebody's got it.

SOUND:

INTERMITTENT GUNFIRE RESUMES DURING FOLLOWING--

TOM:

(AMAZED) Holy--

BLIMEY:

What is it?

TOM:

The adjutant. He's been hit.

BLIMEY:

Good. Blimey, I hope he croaks. It'll save me the trouble.

TOM:

(PAUSE) Say, he's-- He's got it bad, Blimey.

BLIMEY:

I hope so.

TOM:

Come on, come on, let's get going.

BLIMEY:

Keep low, Tom. They're blastin' us, hot and heavy.

TOM:

They must have us spotted. Get over there behind that hill, Blimey. I'll go up this way.

BLIMEY:

Right into their faces? You're mad!

TOM:

Oh, go ahead. I'll be right back.

BLIMEY:

Come back here. Tom! Come back here. Come back here!

SOUND:

BIG BURST OF MACHINE GUN FIRE!

BLIMEY:

Tom? Tom? (NO ANSWER, TO HIMSELF) Aw, he's in it. (CALLS) Tom, where are ya?!

TOM:

(WEAKLY) Here. Here, Blimey. Over here.

BLIMEY:

Aw, did you get it, Tom?

TOM:

Yeah. Yeah, I guess I did, Blimey.

BLIMEY:

Where is it, Tommy Boy? Where is it?

TOM:

(IN PAIN) In - in here. It's got me all tied up in knots.

BLIMEY:

(UNNERVED) Tom-- Tommy Boy--

TOM:

It's all right, Blimey. You'd better get back.

BLIMEY:

And leave you here?

TOM:

(WEAKER) I - I don't think you - you can help me much. Funny-- Funny, isn't it? You were glad Caesar got it. Save you the trouble. Looks like I did the same thing - for him.

BLIMEY:

Tommy? (NO ANSWER) Tom? (NO ANSWER) Lord Blimey!

SOUND:

GUNFIRE, FOR PUNCTUATION

MUSIC:

CURTAIN

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

HOST:

In just a moment, you will hear more of the story of "The Legionnaire and the Lady," co-starring Marlene Dietrich and Clark Gable. Do you know what a casting director is? If you want to get into the movies, he's the man you see. Or try to see. He knows the names, faces, abilities, and salaries of thousands of players. It is a pleasure to present my friend and associate who has been casting director at the Paramount studio for many years, Mr. Fred Datig.

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

DATIG:

(WOODENLY) Yes, Mr. DeMille, a casting director has a hard job. Directors are always asking for things like six sets of girls who look like triplets, or a cross-eyed man who can keep his eyes crossed in the same way all through the picture. Last year, a director asked me to get two Tahitian girls who could sing, dance, and play musical instruments. I had to send all the way to Tahiti for them and, when they finally got here, the picture had been called off. But the girls stayed here. Later on, the same director started to make a picture in Tahiti and we had to send those girls to Tahiti for him. But those are the unusual things. Every day, I'm looking for actors and actresses who not only have talent, but who screen well; who have lovely figures, good features, and fine complexions. And, Mr. DeMille, I think it's fitting on your Lux Radio Theatre to emphasize complexions. Your Lux Toilet Soap means a lot to both the stars and the extras. They
must have good complexions. And that's why Lux Toilet Soap is the official soap over on the Paramount lot -- and, in fact, in every other great studio in Hollywood.

SOUND:

TEPID APPLAUSE

MUSIC:

GONG! EXOTIC THEME ... THEN OUT BEHIND--

HOST:

We return to "The Legionnaire and the Lady," with Marlene Dietrich as Amy Jolly and Clark Gable as Legionnaire Tom Brown. Several weeks have gone by and Amy has received no word from the legionnaire. Convinced that she will never see him again, she has accepted La Bessiere's offer of marriage. It is the night of their engagement dinner in a room at the Hotel du Pré. Amy Jolly sits by the window, staring into the street. La Bessiere, receiving no answer to his knock, enters.

LA BESSIERE:

Amy? Amy, where are you?

AMY:

Here.

LA BESSIERE:

Sitting in the dark? Let me turn the light on.

SOUND:

LIGHT SWITCH

LA BESSIERE:

That's better. We've all been waiting for you downstairs, Amy.

AMY:

Have you? I'm sorry, I didn't know.

LA BESSIERE:

What have you been doing, darling?

AMY:

Sitting here by the window, thinking.

LA BESSIERE:

About anything in particular, Amy?

AMY:

No, nothing in particular.

LA BESSIERE:

You're not at all excited. This is the night of our engagement dinner. Or have you forgotten?

AMY:

How could I forget?

LA BESSIERE:

Everbody's here. They're dying to meet you.

AMY:

I didn't think they would come.

LA BESSIERE:

On the contrary, they're delighted to witness the unconditional surrender of the most exacting bachelor in the world. Are you happy, my dear?

AMY:

Of course. Shall we go down now?

LA BESSIERE:

Oh, wait, I want to speak to you.

AMY:

Anything wrong?

LA BESSIERE:

Yes, I have news of your legionnaire.

AMY:

What news?

LA BESSIERE:

His company returns tonight. That is, what's left of it.

AMY:

You mean--?

LA BESSIERE:

I mean, that he's not returning with it. He's been wounded. He's in the hospital at Amalfa Pass.

AMY:

Is he badly hurt?

LA BESSIERE:

Oh, I don't know. They wouldn't tell me that.

AMY:

Then - then he may be dying. He may be dead by now.

LA BESSIERE:

Perhaps.

AMY:

I've got to go to him.

LA BESSIERE:

(BEAT) Amy, are you in love with him?

AMY:

I've got to see him. Please.

LA BESSIERE:

(BEAT) Very well.

AMY:

You don't mind?

LA BESSIERE:

Heh, no. You see, I love you, Amy. I'll do anything to make you happy. We'll go together.

AMY:

Thank you.

LA BESSIERE:

(MOVING OFF) Now wait here and I'll order the car.

SOUND:

TRANSITIONAL PAUSE ... AUTO DRIVES ALONG, THEN BRAKES TO A STOP

LA BESSIERE:

Ah, there it is, I believe.

AMY:

The hospital?

LA BESSIERE:

Yes. You want me to go in with you?

AMY:

No. I-- It would be best if I went alone.

LA BESSIERE:

Very well, my dear.

SOUND:

TRANSITIONAL PAUSE ... AMY'S FOOTSTEPS TO FRONT DESK

DESK:

Good morning, mademoiselle. Something I can do for you?

AMY:

I'm looking for Legionnaire Tom Brown.

DESK:

Brown? A hospital case?

AMY:

Yes.

DESK:

Mmm, let me see. (BEAT) I'm sorry, there's no one by that name on our books.

AMY:

Are you sure?

DESK:

Well, he might be under some other name. Have a look.

AMY:

Thank you.

SERGEANT:

(APPROACHES) Hey! Hey, desk girlie, I want to see about that guy that-- (SURPRISED) Well, well, well. If it ain't the mademoiselle from the Marrakesh Café. Say, don't you remember me? I'm the top sergeant from the Fifth regiment. Say, what are you doing down here anyway?

AMY:

I'm looking for Legionnaire Tom Brown.

SERGEANT:

Oh, Brown. Oh, you won't find him here.

AMY:

(WITH DREAD) He--? He isn't dead?

SERGEANT:

Dead? (LAUGHS) Nah, you can't kill that bird. They thought he was a goner when they brought him in and a couple of days later he was tearing up the bedclothes 'cause they wouldn't give him a drink. They let him out a week ago.

AMY:

Is he still in town?

SERGEANT:

Sure, sure he is. He's around the corner at Christine's. Uh, but, say-- Are you going to see him?

AMY:

Yes.

SERGEANT:

Well, tell him not to forget the ten francs he owes me!

AMY:

This Christine's-- What kind of a place is it?

SERGEANT:

It's a café. Just poke your head in and look around and when you see a gal with her arms around a guy's shoulder, ten-to-one that guy'll be Brown.

MUSIC:

CAFE TUNE

BIZ:

SMALL CAFE CROWD IN BACKGROUND

GIRL:

Come, señor soldier! Wake up! Pay a little attention to me.

TOM:

Aw, go 'way, will ya? Can't you see I'm busy?

GIRL:

Busy?! Carving in the top of a table a name. (READS) A-M-Y J-O-L-L-Y. Amy Jolly -- that's a girl's name, eh?

TOM:

Yep.

GIRL:

Who is she?

TOM:

Oh, it wouldn't do you any good if I told you.

GIRL:

You love her very much?

TOM:

Yep.

GIRL:

Poor boy. She is your sweetheart, no?

TOM:

Aw, shut up, will ya? Go on, beat it.

GIRL:

(MOVING OFF) Si, all right! You don't have to get mad at me!

MUSIC:

FILLS PAUSE

AMY:

Hello, soldier.

TOM:

(SURPRISED) Amy?

AMY:

Mind if I sit down?

TOM:

No. No, of course not.

AMY:

Thank you.

TOM:

Gee, you gave me a surprise. What are you doing in this part of the world?

AMY:

I heard you were wounded.

TOM:

Yeah? Well, I heal fast. Never felt better in my life. Are, uh--? Are you married yet?

AMY:

No.

TOM:

I heard you were going to marry that rich friend of yours; that La Bessiere fellow.

AMY:

I am.

TOM:

Are you sure?

AMY:

(POINTED) I don't change my mind.

TOM:

I get it. Well, I wish you all the luck in the world, mademoiselle.

AMY:

Is that all you have to say?

TOM:

Yeah, that's all.

MUSIC:

BUGLE CALL, OFF ... CAFE BAND STOPS PLAYING

BIZ:

CAFE CROWD REACTS ... THEN MURMURS IN BG

TOM:

Well, that's me. I guess we're pushing off again.

AMY:

Where to?

TOM:

I can't tell, but wherever it is, it'll be a thirsty march. I better go and get myself a drink.

AMY:

You're not going to say goodbye?

TOM:

(MOVING OFF) We leave at dawn. Come and see us off, will ya?

AMY:

Maybe.

TOM:

(OFF) Do what you think is best. So long, mademoiselle.

AMY:

(BEAT, SADLY) So long, soldier.

SOUND:

BUZZ OF CAFE CROWD FILLS PAUSE

MUSIC:

CAFE BAND PLAYS A SAD "FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN" IN BG

GIRL:

Your man, he is gone, señorita?

AMY:

Yes.

GIRL:

You look sad. Why you don't go with him?

AMY:

He doesn't want me.

GIRL:

(AGREES) No. He wants no girl. Only one, whose name he carve here on the table. See? A-M-Y J-O-L-L-Y. Amy Jolly.

AMY:

(ASTONISHED) Amy Jolly? He carved that?

GIRL:

Si. He thinks the world of her, all the time.

MUSIC:

CAFE BAND FINISHES SONG

SOUND:

TRANSITIONAL PAUSE

LA BESSIERE:

Well, did you see him?

AMY:

Yes, he's well again. They're moving him on to fight.

LA BESSIERE:

Shall we go back?

AMY:

Not yet. He's leaving at dawn. I'll wait till then.

MUSIC:

DRUM AND BUGLE FANFARE, FOR TRANSITION ... DRUMS BEAT OUT A MARCH WHICH CONTINUES IN BACKGROUND

LA BESSIERE:

You want to sit in the car here, Amy, or shall we go back and look for him?

AMY:

I see him now. His company is not marching yet.

LA BESSIERE:

Do you want me to call him over?

AMY:

Please.

SOUND:

HONK-HONK! OF CAR HORN

AMY:

He sees us. He's coming this way.

LA BESSIERE:

What are you going to say to him?

AMY:

Just -- goodbye.

TOM:

Hello. Out early this morning, mademoiselle.

AMY:

Yes, we came to see you off.

TOM:

How do you do, sir?

LA BESSIERE:

How do you do?

TOM:

I'm sorry I can't stay long. My company's ready to march.

AMY:

You're going to be out long?

TOM:

Can't tell.

BLIMEY:

(OFF) Hey, ladykiller!

TOM:

Aw, for--! What do you want?

BLIMEY:

(CLOSER) There's a war going on out there. Are you coming or ain't you?

TOM:

All right, all right, shut up! Well, here we go. Goodbye, mademoiselle.

AMY:

Goodbye.

TOM:

Goodbye, sir.

LA BESSIERE:

Good luck, Legionnaire Brown.

TOM:

(MOVING OFF) Thanks.

MUSIC:

DRUMS CHANGE TO STIRRING FULL BAND MARCH

LA BESSIERE:

Well, there he goes.

AMY:

Out into the sun.

LA BESSIERE:

You're going to miss him, aren't you?

AMY:

I love him.

LA BESSIERE:

I knew you did.

AMY:

He loves me, too.

LA BESSIERE:

How do you know?

AMY:

I always knew.

LA BESSIERE:

Amy--

AMY:

The women, the rear guard-- They're beginning to follow the men. It hurts me to look at them.

LA BESSIERE:

Why?

AMY:

Because I want to be one of them. I want to follow, too.

LA BESSIERE:

You love him that much?

AMY:

I love him that much. They're almost out in the desert now. I'm going after him.

LA BESSIERE:

You're mad; I won't let you go.

AMY:

Please, you have been so kind to me, but I can't help it. Try to forgive me, try to understand. I've got to go to him.

LA BESSIERE:

Amy!

AMY:

(MOVING OFF) I must go to him.

LA BESSIERE:

(PAUSE, LOW) Darling, I understand.

MUSIC:

CHANGES BACK TO MARCHING DRUMS

AMY:

(APPROACHES) Tom? Tom?

TOM:

Amy! Amy, what are you doing out here?

AMY:

I followed you. I will stay with you forever.

TOM:

Don't be a fool; go back. Go back before it's too late.

AMY:

No, I'm going to stay.

TOM:

Well, do you know what it's like out here? It's torture! Nothing but heat and sand and sun -- a burning sun that'll blister your body until you scream.

AMY:

I don't care. I'm one of the rear guard now. One of the women who love their men!

MUSIC:

CURTAIN

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

HOST:

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the story of "The Legionnaire and the Lady," as played by Marlene Dietrich and Clark Gable. Before I present our two stars for a curtain call, I'm going to ask an old friend -- a pioneer in the motion picture industry -- to step up on the stage. We were once partners and made our first film, "The Squaw Man," together. It's comfortable to have him at my side tonight as I enter the field of radio. Jesse Lasky, of Pickford-Lasky Productions.

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

LASKY:

Well, Cecil, this great new theater on Hollywood Boulevard is quite different from the stable where we started "The Squaw Man" twenty-three years ago.

HOST:

Hm, in the middle of an orange grove. In those days, Jesse, there were trees on Hollywood Boulevard instead of neon signs.

LASKY:

A lot of water has gone under the bridge since then.

HOST:

Yes, speaking of water, do you remember Jacob Stern? Do you remember we rented the barn from him? Or, rather, we rented only half the barn we worked in. Jacob kept his horse in the other half. And, er, every time he washed the buggy, the water ran into our office.

LASKY:

Yes, and we had to put our feet in the wastebasket to keep them from getting wet.

HOST:

Yes, I put my last dime into that picture of ours.

LASKY:

Yes, and you put my last dime in, too. ... But it's always stimulating to me, Cecil, to see that in spite of the many changes in Hollywood, the men who started in the picture business with us are now at the top of the heap. You know who I'm speaking of -- Adolph Zukor and Samuel Goldwyn, the men who, with us, founded what is now the great Paramount company.

HOST:

Yes, but one good thing, Jesse, about working on the radio. Somebody else puts up the money. ... And tonight, in case you haven't heard, it's the manufacturers of Lux Soap. You know, it's mighty good soap.

LASKY:

(CHUCKLES) That's one thing that even I will "yes" you on. Now, Cecil, I want to wish you godspeed on this series of programs. It's a pleasure to have been here tonight and I am glad this excellent radio show will be broadcast from Hollywood from now on.

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

HOST:

And now-- And now a word about a certain young actor before he steps out on the stage. I want to tell you a little story of him. When I was casting "Madam Satan" six or seven years ago, I was looking for a villain. Somebody had given my script girl a screen test of a young man and she kept dinging the life out of me to see it. I asked her if he was a villain, and she said she thought he could do anything. Eh, so I looked at it and decided he was not a villain, but that he had definite possibilities. So I showed it to the other executives at the studio. When I asked them about the young man a day or so later, they said he never could succeed in pictures. I asked why not. They said, "His ears are too big." ... But evidently-- Evidently, those ears were no obstacle to the triumph of Clark Gable.

SOUND:

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

HOST:

As you stepped out on this stage, Clark, I could hear feminine hearts thumping from coast to coast. ...

GABLE:

Well, C. B., I'm letting that go in one ear and out the other.

HOST:

If your studio will loan you to my studio, Clark, I'd like to direct you in a picture.

GABLE:

Well, I hear from everybody who has ever worked for you that it's a great experience -- if you live through it. ...

HOST:

Now my ears are burning.

GABLE:

No, no, no. No, really, though. It was a great show and lot of fun working for you. And I want to express the gratitude of Miss Dietrich and myself to our all-star supporting cast tonight; Crauford Kent as La Bessiere, Frank Reicher as Adjutant Caesar, Walter Kingsford as Blimey, Wally Maher as the sergeant, Lou Merrill as Lo Tinto, and Ynez Seabury as the Spanish girl. And thanks also to our fine audience. I want to congratulate Lux on their new theater and on the way they're planning their next week -- two great stars, Mr. William Powell and Miss Myrna Loy in their famous success, "The Thin Man." Good night, Mr. DeMille, and so long, everybody.

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

HOST:

And here she comes-- Here she comes -- as desirable as she was in her picture "Desire," as beautiful and glamorous as-- Well, as only Marlene Dietrich can be.

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

DIETRICH:

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you, Mr. DeMille.

HOST:

We received so many requests, Marlene, that you sing your famous song from "The Blue Angel" -- "Falling In Love Again." Will you, please?

DIETRICH:

I'll be very glad to.

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

DIETRICH:

Mr. Frederick Hollander, the composer of the song, will accompany me.

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

MUSIC:

PIANO ACCOMPANIMENT, JOINED BY ORCHESTRA FOR SECOND CHORUS

DIETRICH:

(SINGS)
Falling in love again,
Never wanted to.
What am I to do?
I can't help it.

Love's always been my game,
Play it how I may.
I was made that way.
I can't help it.

Men cluster to me
Like moths around a flame
And if their wings burn
I know I'm not to blame.

Falling in love again,
Never wanted to.
What am I to do?
I can't help it.

[2ND CHORUS]
Falling in love again,
Never wanted to.
What am I to do?
I can't help it.

Love's always been my game,
Play it how I may.
I was made that way.
I can't help it.

Men cluster to me
Like moths around a flame
And if their wings burn
I know I'm not to blame.

Falling in love again,
Never wanted to.
What am I to do?
I can't help it.

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

ANNOUNCER:

Thank you, Miss Dietrich. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your announcer Melville Ruick. Before Mr. DeMille tells you more about our play for next week, on behalf of our sponsors, the makers of Lux Toilet Soap, I want to express appreciation and gratitude to Mr. DeMille and to the great Hollywood studios who cooperated in making this occasion such a splendid success. From Paramount, Miss Dietrich, who will next be seen on the screen in the David O. Selznick Technicolor production of "The Garden of Allah," based on the famous novel by Robert Hichens. Mr. Clark Gable, the Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer star, came direct to this broadcast from the set of the Warner-Cosmopolitan production of "Cain and Mabel." He will soon be seen with Jeanette MacDonald in M-G-M's production "San Francisco." Mr. Louis Silvers represents the Twentieth Century-Fox. And, to Paramount, our thanks for the loan of our producer, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille, whom I know you are eager to
hear. Mr. DeMille.

HOST:

Next Monday at this same time, we will present that amusing and exciting play, "The Thin Man." I am proud to be able to announce that the two great M-G-M stars who made such a hit on the screen in this remarkable drama, William Powell and Myrna Loy, will play the same roles in the first radio version of it. Next Monday evening, I regret to say, I will not be in Hollywood to produce the Lux Radio Theatre play as I am attending the Paramount convention in Chicago. In my place, one of Hollywood's distinguished directors, Mr. W. S. Van Dyke, who directed "The Thin Man" for Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, will be guest producer on this hour. But I'll be back the following Monday and every Monday to produce this series of programs for the Lux Radio Theatre.

MUSIC:

LUX THEME ... TILL END

HOST:

On behalf of all who contributed to this evening's performance -- our cast, Mr. Louis Silvers and his orchestra, our technical staff, and our sponsors -- I thank you and invite you to be guests of the Lux Radio Theatre again next Monday night when this program will be presented from the same station. This is Cecil B. DeMille saying good night to you from Hollywood.

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

ANNOUNCER:

This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.