SALLY:
Oh, Cecil? (GIGGLE) Cecil? Well, where ARE you?
CECIL:
Right here, behind the door.
SALLY:
Oh. (GIGGLE) Well, it's all over, isn't it?
CECIL:
W-well, you see, it's like this, Sally...
SALLY:
Cecil Shortridge. You broke the string.
CECIL:
Well, whattaya know about that? It broke.
SALLY:
Well, you KNOW it did. You broke it.
CECIL:
Well, I wasn't ready. I didn't have time to holler, "Stop", so I... just grabbed the string, and broke it.
SALLY:
Oh, goodness. Now we have to do it all over.
CECIL:
Oh, no we don't.
SALLY:
Why? Did the tooth fall out anyhow?
CECIL:
N-no, but... I've decided to let it stay in there a little while longer.
SALLY:
And I've decided that you've been acting like a baby, long enough.
CECIL:
You can't tell me what to do.
SALLY:
And why can't I tell you what to do?
CECIL:
Well, you can tell me, but I don't have to listen.
SALLY:
You know what I'm going to do, Cecil?
CECIL:
Sure. You're gonna call me an overgrown baby. But I don't care. I don't want-- That is, I'm not quite ready to yank it out yet.
SALLY:
Well, when WILL you be ready?
CECIL:
Oh, in about... about ten minutes. Maybe.
SALLY:
If you don't tie that string to the doorknob again, and get this over with, I'm going right to the phone.
CECIL:
What are you gonna do, throw the phone at me?
SALLY:
No. I'll phone up your aunt and tell her that you're over here at my house with a loose tooth in your mouth, and you ought to go to the dentist. SHE won't fool with you.
CECIL:
She'll tell you to mind your own business.
SALLY:
Oh, she will not. Well, I'm going.
CECIL:
All right.
SALLY:
A dentist won't be so quick as this. Well... I'll be right back.
CECIL:
Are you gonna be a tattletale?
SALLY:
Are you going to be a baby?
CECIL:
My aunt isn't home.
SALLY:
Well, I'll take a chance.
CECIL:
Hey, wait a minute! Huh! I was only playing. Huh, I wouldn't go all the way downtown, you know, just to have a dentist p-push a loose tooth out. Huh! Why, I just wanted to wait a few minutes.
SALLY:
Oh, you just don't wanna have to be such a coward in front of other people. I know.
CECIL:
Huh! Why, this is nothing.
SALLY:
All right, then. Tie those two strings together again.
CECIL:
(BEAT) All right. (TYING STRINGS TOGETHER) Such and... such. Huh.
SALLY:
Don't be so slow, Cecil. Tie them good and tight.
CECIL:
We've got all afternoon.
SALLY:
(GIGGLE) Oh, Cecil, you look so funny. (GIGGLE)
CECIL:
You'd look funny too, with a string leading out of your mouth.
SALLY:
All right. Are you all ready again?
CECIL:
Wait a minute. Let's see.
SALLY:
(GIGGLE) Are you looking for an excuse?
CECIL:
All right. Get on the other side of the door.
SALLY:
Now, stand right here. And don't break the string at the last moment.
CECIL:
All right. You and your torture chamber...
SALLY:
Oh, if you weren't such a coward, you'd reach in and pull it out with your fingers.
CECIL:
Yeah. And if this were YOUR tooth, you wouldn't talk so much.
SALLY:
Are you all set, now?
CECIL:
No!
SALLY:
Well, why aren't you?
CECIL:
(BEAT) I've gotta cross my fingers.
SALLY:
Are you ready now?
CECIL:
(BEAT) No! Don't be in such a hurry.
SALLY:
Come on, Cecil. Be a man.
CECIL:
And you be yourself, willya?
SALLY:
Well, what are you doing?
CECIL:
(BEAT) I'm bracing myself.
SALLY:
Well? Are you braced now?
CECIL:
(BEAT) No! I'll tell you when I'm ready!
SALLY:
Well, we only have about six more hours of daylight.
CECIL:
Well, wait a minute. Are you gonna count?
SALLY:
No. When you say you're ready, I'll just pull the door shut quick.
CECIL:
Well, I'm not ready yet.
SALLY:
Oh, Cecil, stop stalling. What's the matter?
CECIL:
Sh-sh-shall I close my eyes?
SALLY:
Yes. Shall I shut the door now?
CECIL:
No! Wait a minute. I-I-- uh... (VOICE CRACKS) Couldn't we do this later?
SALLY:
No. We're gonna do it right now!
SFX:
DOOR SLAM ... PAUSE
CECIL:
Hey, I didn't say I was ready!
SALLY:
Oh, Cecil, it's still in!
CECIL:
Sure. I-I wasn't standing back far enough for the string to pull.
SALLY:
Goodness, am I gonna have to CHLOROFORM you?
CECIL:
Well, I-- That's not a bad idea.
SALLY:
Oh, I thought it would be all over by now.
CECIL:
Well, that's what you get for trying to take me by surprise.
SALLY:
All right, I'll wait until you say you're ready, this time.
CECIL:
All right. Go on back in the other room.
SALLY:
Now, stand straight up, and take up the slack.
CECIL:
Leave the door open about a foot, so you'll have room to pull...
SALLY:
Don't you bother about me. Are you ready?
CECIL:
Will you stop asking me, am I ready?
SALLY:
Cecil, please hurry. There's no reason to wait.
CECIL:
There is too! I have to collect my thoughts.
SALLY:
Well, that shouldn't take long. You have so few.
CECIL:
And no dirty remarks! Oh, and another thing...
SALLY:
Well, what's wrong now?
CECIL:
I don't like the way you open that door again and laugh.
SALLY:
All right. Are you all set?
CECIL:
No! Not quite. Uh... Uh, do you think this'll hurt, Sally?
SALLY:
Oh, you won't feel it!
CECIL:
Ha! Don't make me laugh. Well...
SALLY:
Are you ever going to say you're ready?
CECIL:
Well, uh... Wait til I open my mouth.
SALLY:
Have you got it open?
CECIL:
(MOUTH OPEN) Yeah.
SALLY:
Are you ready?
CECIL:
(BEAT) Yeah. (SUDDENLY) No, wait a minute!
SALLY:
Oh, what's wrong?
CECIL:
I was standing wrong. (BEAT) All right. I'm ready. But take it easy, now.
SALLY:
All right. Get set.
CECIL:
(SUDDENLY) Wait a minute, Sally! Not yet!
SALLY:
Oh, my goodness... All right.
CECIL:
(VOICE CRACKS) Well, there's no hurry. We got lots of time.
SALLY:
Oh, Cecil, don't be such a coward. Get it over.
CECIL:
All right. Well... I guess I'm ready, then.
SALLY:
Are you sure, this time?
CECIL:
Uh... Yeah, I think so. Oh, gosh...
SALLY:
All right, then. In just a second, it'll be out.
CECIL:
Hey, Sally, don't! Wait!
SALLY:
Oh, Cecil, I was just about to pull the door.
CECIL:
I know. I was afraid of that. I-- You know, I-- Oh, I just thought, uh, well, uh... You don't mind doing this, do you?
SALLY:
No. All right, now. Are you ready?
CECIL:
Well, that's good, because... i-if this was any bother to you... I wouldn't want you to do it.
SALLY:
Are you all set again?
CECIL:
I-I wouldn't wanna put you to any trouble on my account, because, well... it'll probably fall out tonight, anyhow.
SALLY:
I tell you, it's a pleasure. Are you ready?
CECIL:
Well... yes. I just wanted to know, you know. Well, I'm, uh, I'm ready.
SALLY:
Well, don't change your mind.
SFX:
DOOR SLAM
SALLY:
That's right. (GIGGLE) Cecil, see? It didn't hurt at all, did it? All it takes is just one little pull, and presto! (GASP) Cecil, it isn't out yet.
CECIL:
Well, you see, Sally, you waited so long before you shut the door, that I sorta took a little step forward, and... then, when you shut the door, why, it didn't take up the slack in the string, so (NERVOUS LITTLE LAUGH) isn't that funny?
SALLY:
All right then, let it stay in. I don't care. Swallow it, and die. It'll serve you right for being such a baby.
CECIL:
Well, I'll let it stay in, a little while longer. (NERVOUS LITTLE LAUGH) Then, I'll pull it out.
SALLY:
Oh, I'm disgusted with you. I'm ashamed of you. And I thought you were brave.
CECIL:
Now, Sally, don't get peeved. Just because you waited too long. Now I've gotta untie this string from my tooth. (DOES IT) Ouch!
SALLY:
Oh, why don't you pull it out?
CECIL:
There. (EXHALES) Now it's untied. Well... let's get out of the kitchen.
SALLY:
Here, BABY. Give me that string. I'll put it back in the kitchen drawer.
CECIL:
W-well, Sally, gee. You should feel sorry for me, instead o' ribbing me about it. It's liable to hurt. You don't know.
SALLY:
Oh, keep still! You're liable to break down and cry! Oh, goodness, what's this?
CECIL:
Looks like that precious cook o' yours spilt pepper outta the pepper box, all in the drawer.
SALLY:
Oh, goodness. That's just what it is. Pepper. Well, how will I get it out?
CECIL:
Here. Get outta the way. I can do SOME things.
SALLY:
What are you going to do?
CECIL:
I'm gonna blow this pepper out. That's the only way. Now, watch out for your eyes. (BLOWS)
SALLY:
Ooh! Watch out for your nose, Cecil! You'll get some in your nose!
CECIL:
(PEPPER UP NOSE) I already did! I-- (PREPARING TO SNEEZE) Ah-- ah--
SALLY:
Well, what are you going to do? Sneeze?
CECIL:
Yeah. Watch out. I'm rehearsing. (PREPARING TO SNEEZE) Ah-- ah--
SALLY:
(GIGGLE) Go ahead and sneeze.
CECIL:
(BIG SNEEZE) Oh. (LITTLE LAUGH) My nose itches.
SALLY:
Cecil... (GIGGLE) Oh, my goodness. (GIGGLE)
CECIL:
What's funny?
SALLY:
Well, look. My goodness, look on the table, Cecil. See? When you sneezed...
CECIL:
What is it? (LOOKS) Why, it's a tooth! How'd it get there? Whose is it?
SALLY:
(GIGGLE) My goodness, it's YOURS. It came out when you sneezed.
CECIL:
It's mine??? Let's see. (FEELS IN MOUTH WITH HIS TONGUE) Ye gods, it's gone! It's mine! (IN PAIN) Oh, it hurts, Sally! Gimme some water, quick!
SALLY:
(GIGGLE) If I hadn't said something, you'd never have known the difference. (GIGGLE) I knew all I had to do was to jar you, and it would come out. I spilt that pepper on purpose, and you took it, hook, line, and sinker! (GIGGLE)