MUSIC:
(sounds like old time movie organ music during a suspenseful scene).
Blackie:
Comfortable, Mary?
Mary:
Mm, hm, very. Is it time yet?
Blackie:
In a minute or two. Swell apartment my friend Charlie Kingston has here.
Mary:
Well, it was nice of him to let us borrow it so we could use the television. Imagine seeing Inspector Farraday on a television screen.
Blackie:
It's one of the nicest ways of seeing Farraday. You know, so near and yet so far away?
Mary:
Turn it on, Blackie, will you?
Blackie:
Okay. Let's see what this little knob does.
Mary:
Well, the screen's lighting up.
Blackie:
Edison and Blackie, one and the same.
Mary:
Oooh.
Blackie:
Hey, I see something on the screen.
Mary:
Yeah, so do I, but its a little blurred.
Blackie:
They must be televising Farraday's mind. I think it needs a little sharper tuning.
Mary:
The set? Or the mind?
Blackie:
Both.
Mary:
Laughs.
Blackie:
Hey, that's better, isn't it?
Mary:
Much. Oh, oh, Blackie, there's Farraday!
Blackie:
Yeah, I see him. And three other men around a table. Well, in as much as they're broadcasting a civic forum, that's as it should be.
Mary:
You know our friend the inspector seems a little nervous, doesn't he?
Blackie:
Because he's hitting the water pitcher? He probably read somewhere that all speakers drink a glass of water before they go on.
Mary:
Well, the other members of the forum must have read the same thing.
Blackie:
Mmm. It's hot in a television studio, Mary.
Mary:
You know, Blackie, it's hard to realize that here we are sitting at home, watching and listening to something taking place miles away. Don't you think television is wonderful?
Blackie:
Oh, I don't know, it'll never replace the horse.
Mary:
You know, I think it's about time you told me I was wonderful, too, Blackie.
Blackie:
I don't think you'll ever replace the horse either.
Mary:
Hm.
Blackie:
Hey, hey, I think that's Inspector Farraday.. Yeah. Yeah. Now it's his turn to speak. I'll turn the radio part on.
Mary:
Good. This is going to be fun.
Announcer:
And now, ladies and gentlemen, we continue our round table discussion by presenting an outstanding civic leader, Cyrus Baxter. (clearing throat sounds, clapping)
Mary:
Oh, it's not Farraday after all. Shall I turn it down?
Blackie:
Oh, let's hear what Baxter has to say. I think Farraday should follow him, he's sitting next to him.
Mary:
Mr. Baxter seems to be a bit thirsty, too. Well, he's finally put down that water glass. Now maybe he'll ...
Blackie:
Sh, sh.sh.
Mr. Baxter:
Ladies and gentlemen, I have come here tonight for a specific purpose. To make accusation against one of...(choking sounds)
Mary:
Hey, hey, what's happening to him? He's grabbing his throat!
Blackie:
He's choking, Mary.
Mary:
Look, but he's falling, Blackie, right into Farraday's arms.
Blackie:
Which means that somebody laid a murder right in Farraday's lap!
ORGAN MUSIC.
FX:
Sound of crowd murmuring)
Blackie:
There's Farraday over there with the police photographers, Mary.
Mary:
He looks awful worried, Blackie.
Blackie:
He looks confused, but then, he always does, I think.
Mary:
Well, darling, Farraday really is in a spot this time. If Baxter was murdered with Farraday right in the room, the police commissioner will do some plain and fancy screaming, and you know it.
Blackie:
(Laughs) No question about that. Hold it, honey, we've been detected. Here comes the Inspector.
Mary:
Ah ha.
Blackie:
Hi, Farraday?
Farraday:
Blackie, before I do anything else, I've got one thing to say to you. Get out a here.
Mary:
Hello, Inspector Farraday.
Farraday:
Hello, Miss Wesley. I'll make that two things, Blackie. Get out and stay out. Oh, have I got troubles.
Blackie:
I know. I saw you by television. You photograph badly.
Farraday:
I'm not talking about that. And you know it. Cyrus Baxter was standing right next to me when he was murdered.
Blackie:
Then he was murdered, eh? Tsk, tsk. Why did you do it, Farraday?
Farraday:
What do you mean, why did I do it? I didn't kill him, Blackie. Now beat it.
Blackie:
Sure, Inspector. Did you find out yet what poison was used?
Farraday:
Poison? Who said it was poison? How could it be poison? I drank from the same pitcher a water. So did everybody at the table. We weren't poisoned, were we?
Blackie:
Well, I don't know. How do you feel, Inspector?
Farraday:
I feel great. I feel like throwing you right out a here.
Mary:
Oh, Blackie, why don't you stop, darling? Inspector Farraday has enough...
Blackie:
I'm sorry. Say, Inspector, Baxter was just about to accuse somebody of something when the poison hit him.
Farraday:
Now who said it was poison? I told you it couldn't be poison.
Officer:
Excuse me, Inspector Farraday. The medical examiner just finished with the body. He says to tell you Baxter was poisoned by the water. (Blackie chuckles) He won't be able to identify the poison 'til after the autopsy. (Blackie chuckles again)
Farraday:
Okay. Oh, Blackie, beat it! I'll take it from here alone.
Blackie:
I'll go, but you won't be alone, Inspector. There's a person heading this way right now with purpose in his footsteps and you in his mind.
Mary:
Do you know him, Inspector?
Farraday:
Oh, that's Rex Daniels. He was secretary to Mr. Baxter.
Daniels:
Inspector Farraday, I've got to talk to you for a moment.
Farraday:
Ah, not now.
Blackie:
I think you better listen to him, Farraday. And now.
Farraday:
Nobody tells me what I better do. What do you want, Daniels?
Daniels:
Inspector, I know what Mr. Baxter was going to say when he fell dead. I helped him prepare the indictment.
Blackie:
What kind of indictment was that, Daniels?
Daniels:
Uh, who are you?
Farraday:
(Sarcastically) Oh, he's Boston Blackie. Hmm. Who was Baxter going to indict?
Daniels:
A man named Thomas. Ralph Thomas. Mr. Baxter was going to expose him to the forum members. We knew he was farming out city contracts and costing the taxpayers additional money.
Farraday:
Thomas, eh? Hey! We all had dinner at his house tonight!
Blackie:
Who's all, Inspector?
Farraday:
Well, me, Baxter, Ralph Thomas, then there was...
Waters:
And I, Inspector Farraday.
Farraday:
And you, too, Waters!
Blackie:
Waters, eh? What do you do?
Farraday:
Shut up, Blackie. Mr. Waters has political connections. Very good ones, too.
Mary:
Oh, I remember you, Mr. Waters. I saw you on our television set.
Waters:
Yes. Yes, I was scheduled to speak before...well, before the unfortunate accident.
Blackie:
It wasn't an accident. It was murder. Someone wanted to keep Baxter quiet. Farraday, you say you had dinner at Ralph Thomas's house?
Farraday:
Yeah, four of us. Baxter, Mr. Waters, Thomas, and I. Hey, Thomas could have poisoned Baxter then!
Blackie:
And have the poison take effect exactly at the right moment, Farraday? I don't think that happens except in books.
Farraday:
So you don't think it happens. Well, who cares what you think? I'm gonna go to work on Thomas right now. Are you sure Baxter was going to accuse Thomas, Daniels?
Daniels:
Of course I'm sure.
Waters:
Well, you're giving us some action, Inspector. That's all I wanted to be sure of. Come on, Daniels.
Daniels:
Yes, sir. Thank you, Inspector Farraday, thank you very much. I was very fond of my employer.
Farraday:
Yeah, I know. Wait a minute...do you figure to step into his job, Daniels?
Daniels:
Well, I...I hadn't thought about it much, but...I guess I am the only one who could handle it right away...
Farraday:
That's all I wanted to know. You can go now. But I'll be seeing you. And you too, Waters.
Daniels:
Goodbye, Inspector.
Waters:
We'll be seeing you, Farraday.
Mary:
(petulantly) Hey, hey, does anybody remember I'm still here?
Farraday:
See that you stay here. And keep Blackie with you. I'm going to see this Ralph Thomas.
Blackie:
That's right, Inspector. Between the two of us we'll make him talk.
Farraday:
Yeah, he's gonna talk between the one of us! And that means me! And it also means you're gonna keep away from his house. Far away. You got that? So long, Blackie.
Mary:
Goodbye, Inspector.
Farraday:
Oh, Miss Wesley, I'm sorry, goodbye.
Mary:
(fondly) Goodbye.
Blackie:
Come on, Mary.
Mary:
Would it be impolite to ask where to?
Blackie:
The phone booth. I'm going to call this Ralph Thomas and arrange to meet him before Farraday can get to him. And the subject we'll discuss when we meet will be another man's poison.
MUSIC
FX:
Dialing phone. Ring)
Butler:
Ralph Thomas residence.
Blackie:
Hello, is Mr. Thomas at home?
Butler:
I'm sorry, sir, he is not.
Blackie:
This is Inspector...uh, Allen, of the police. Did you serve the dinner at Mr. Thomas's house tonight?
Butler:
Why yes, Inspector. Of course I did.
Blackie:
I just wanted to be sure it was you. Tell me one thing, who cooked the dinner?
Butler:
I did, sir. It's one of my duties. Was anything wrong?
Blackie:
I don't know yet. Tell me this, did everyone at the table eat the same food?
Butler:
Oh, yes, sir, and every bit of it, too. If you'll pardon me and there's nothing else, this is my night off, and I was just about to leave the house.
Blackie:
One thing more. Do you know where Mr. Thomas is?
Butler:
This is his bowling night, sir. The Academy Alleys. You might find him there.
Blackie:
Thank you very much. Goodbye. (Hangs up phone) I'm in luck, Mary.
Mary:
Oh, yes, yes, Blackie? What?
Blackie:
Yes, Mr. Thomas has gone bowling, Mary, and the chance to see him alone is right down my alley.
MUSIC
Sound of bowling ball striking pins.
Joe:
How'd it go tonight, Mr. Thomas?
Thomas:
Swell, Joe, had a 165 average for seven games.
Joe:
Not bad, not bad.
Thomas:
Good night, Joe.
Joe:
Good night, Mr. Thomas. See you same time next week.
Thomas:
Right, Joe. Good night. (Door opens, closes, street sounds)
Blackie:
Mr. Thomas, I'd like to see you at the same time, this week.
Thomas:
Who are you?
Blackie:
Boston Blackie. The name mean anything to you?
Thomas:
Vaguely. You were looking for me?
Blackie:
That's pretty apparent, isn't it? Mr. Thomas, did you know that Cyrus Baxter was murdered tonight?
Thomas:
(quietly) No, I didn't. How did it happen?
Blackie:
You don't seem very upset.
Thomas:
There isn't much difference between life and death. It's the presence of one because of the absence of the other, if you follow me.
Blackie:
It's a little beyond my depth, Thomas, but murder isn't. By the way, Baxter did have dinner at your house?
Thomas:
Yes, that's right, he did. So did Inspector Farraday of the police. And Richard Waters. Were they poisoned too?
Blackie:
I never said that Baxter was poisoned.
Thomas:
No, you didn't. But you mentioned he was murdered and brought up the fact that he had dinner at my house. Pretty obvious conclusion, don't you think?
Blackie:
Either an obvious conclusion or definite knowledge. Look, Thomas, you're in a spot. Baxter was preparing to expose you publicly at that forum. Did you know that?
Thomas:
No. But it's possible. My business is a little out of the ordinary.
Blackie:
Just what is your business?
Thomas:
Just what business is it of yours?
Blackie:
Actually, none. But the police are after you, and if you're innocent it's just possible I might be able to help.
Thomas:
You don't think I poisoned Baxter?
Blackie:
No, I think you're too smart to do that. Wait...come to think of it, this had to be a pretty smart stunt.
Thomas:
What are you talking about?
Blackie:
Four men had dinner together, and later three of those men drank from the same water pitcher. The water was poisoned but only one man died. That's a pretty good trick.
Thomas:
Tell me, how it was done.
Blackie:
Maybe you'll tell me. First of all, did all four of you eat the same food at dinner.
Thomas:
Identical. Uh, cream soup, roast beef, boiled potatoes, lima beans, uh, dessert, coffee. Baxter had no coffee. Is that important?
Blackie:
You know it's not. Who prepared the dinner, Thomas?
Thomas:
Jones, my butler, he's a very good cook.
Blackie:
I talked to him earlier. I understand he has the night off. Will he be home later?
Thomas:
I think so. He has an apartment over the garage. Generally in by midnight on his night off.
Blackie:
I think I'll go to see him. Maybe your butler will open the door to a solution of this case.
MUSIC
Mary:
Blackie, darling, this is my idea of completely nuts.
Blackie:
How can you say that, Mary.
Mary:
Oh, it's easy, I'll show you. Blackie, darling, this is my idea of completely nuts. See?
Blackie:
We're on the trail of a killer, gal. En route to what may turn out to be a killer's quarters in yon garage.
Mary:
So suppose we find the butler. Then what?
Blackie:
Then we...sh.
Mary:
(whispers) What?
Blackie:
Someone's following us. Get into these bushes, quick.
Mary:
Well, all right, but I don't hear any...hey, hey, I do hear footsteps.
Blackie:
Keep out of this, Mary, I'll handle this...
Mary:
(loudly and frightened) Blackie!
Blackie:
I mean wait here quietly! Sh! I'm gonna grab him, and baby when I grab somebody they stay grabbed!
MUSIC
Announcer:
(over gradually more distraught organ music) While Blackie and Mary Wesley were watching by television, Cyrus Baxter fell dead in the television studio, just as he was about to indict Ralph Thomas, political lobbyist. Thomas's secretary, Rex Daniels, and Richard Waters, a civic board member, are under suspicion, as well as Thomas, but investigation showed that Baxter was poisoned, and that he had had dinner, with the others, at Thomas's house. A search is made for the butler who cooked and served the dinner. En route to his quarters in the Thomas garage, Blackie and Mary realize they are being followed, and Blackie JUMPS on the man! (Sound of fight)
Blackie:
(voice over muffled sound of man trying to speak with gag in his mouth) Well, friend, that ought to hold you for a while. How do you like your face getting a massage?
Mary:
Did you get him, Blackie? Ooh!
Blackie:
Got him...and exercise. Give me the flashlight, Mary, so I can see what I nabbed, and what kind of a head I'll have hanging in my trophy room.
Farraday:
Blackie!
Mary:
Oh!
Farraday:
Blackie, you dope! Let me up!
Mary:
Oh, it's Inspector Farraday. Oh! Blackie!
Blackie:
Darling. I'm sorry, Inspector. I didn't know it was you. Here, let me help you up.
Farraday:
What's the idea of hopping on me?
Blackie:
I didn't know it was you. What was the idea of trailing me?
Farraday:
I didn't know it was you, either. I saw two figures...
Mary:
One of them was mine...the good one.
Blackie:
Mary.
Mary:
Well.
Farraday:
Cut it out, both of you. Where are you going, Blackie?
Blackie:
Well, nowhere. Just, out for a stroll.
Farraday:
Yeah, I know. Me, too. Only, I took my stroll first. I got to this garage twenty minutes ago. Nobody answered the door at Thomas's house, so I thought I'd try here.
Mary:
Was there anybody in the garage, Inspector?
Farraday:
Nobody to speak of. Just a corpse.
Mary:
That's nobody to speak to. Uh, was it the butler?
Farraday:
Yeah. Knifed. I'd give a lot to know why.
Blackie:
(Smugly) I could tell you.
Farraday:
I don't want to know that badly. Come on, let's get into Thomas's house and wait for him to come home.
Blackie:
All good policemen have skeleton keys, eh, Inspector?
Farraday:
I've got something better. You. Now, look, can you open that back door, Blackie?
Blackie:
I don't know, I haven't seen it yet. Past performances in my favor.
Farraday:
I know. There it is. Go to work.
Blackie:
Okay. This is awfully illegal, Inspector.
Farraday:
Yeah. Murder is a little bit against the law, too. How you coming?
Blackie:
Pretty well. There. The door's unlocked.
Farraday:
Well, open it!
Blackie:
All right. (Sound of opening door)
Farraday:
Gas, Blackie. I smell gas!
Blackie:
Keep out of the way, Mary! Come on, Inspector! Put your handkerchief over your nose and come on!
Farraday:
Okay, I'm with ya.
Blackie:
Break that window, inspector.
Farraday:
Put your flashlight on it so I can see what I'm doing.
Blackie:
Right over here.
FX:
Sound of breaking glass)
Hey, look, Inspector, that body on the floor. It's Thomas.
Farraday:
Well, that makes the third one. First Baxter, then his butler, now Thomas here. He killed the first two and then committed suicide. Well, that washes this case up.
Blackie:
Yes, Inspector. Come here, quick.
Farraday:
Now what is it, genius?
Blackie:
Nothing that you'd be interested in, except Thomas isn't dead. We broke in here just in time.
Farraday:
Not dead? But he's got to be dead. This room is loaded with gas from that kitchen range.
Blackie:
Not too loaded. Whoever did this might have wanted it to look like suicide, but didn't stuff the cracks under the doors and we broke in in time to save Thomas. Look at this bump on the back of Thomas's head.
Farraday:
He got it when the gas hit him and he fell off that chair.
Blackie:
He could have gotten it when somebody hit him, turned on the gas and left him here.
Farraday:
That's what you think. As soon as Thomas revives, I'm taking him to headquarters and booking him for murder.
Blackie:
Go ahead. But get an apology ready, kid. You're gonna need it when it turns out that Thomas is innocent.
MUSIC
Just keep driving anywhere, Mary. It doesn't matter where we go...as long as I have time to think.
(Sound of cars passing, horns honking)
Mary:
Do you have time to think out loud?
Blackie:
I suppose so. Mary, would Thomas be clever enough to fake an attack on himself, hoping to throw us off the track?
Mary:
Well..what would he hope to gain, Blackie?
Blackie:
Well, he could hope to throw suspicion on somebody else. Ralph Waters, or Rex Daniels, Baxter's secretary.
Mary:
You mean he figured you'd break in in time to save him?
Blackie:
Maybe. What bothers me too is that poisoning of Baxter. Farraday tells me there was poison found in the water that everybody at the forum drank. Yet it affected only Baxter. Now, how can that be?
Mary:
Well, I don't know. Would, um, would finding a motive help you, Blackie?
Blackie:
No, not in this case, Mary. Everybody had a motive.
Mary:
Don't they always in mystery stories?
Blackie:
Invariably. Only mystery stories generally wind up with a solution. I'd like to know what this one is.
Mary:
You'll find it, darling. I know you will.
Blackie:
That line came out of the same mystery story.
Mary:
Hey!
Blackie:
Well, let's go to work. Suppose you drive me to Ralph Waters (should be Richard Waters! ed.) house, and as the dog said when he went flea hunting, we start from scratch.
MUSIC
Waters:
I don't think there's anything further I care to say to you, Daniels, and certainly nothing further I care to hear from you. Good day.
Daniels:
Not so fast, Mr. Waters. I happened to be very fond of Mr. Baxter.
Waters:
I admire that very much. Good day.
Daniels:
Mr. Waters, you had opportunity to poison that drinking water at the television studio and reason enough to want Mr. Baxter dead.
Waters:
So did you, for that matter.
Daniels:
I had reason?
Waters:
Baxter's job. You've got it now. Maybe you'd better leave, before I start putting pieces together.
Daniels:
You're trying to insinuate I killed Mr. Baxter, the man who gave me the only chance I ever had?!!! I could kill you for saying that!!!!
Waters:
(choking, as with Daniels's hands around his throat) Stop it....you're choking me.....stop it!
Blackie:
Better stop it, Daniels. Take your hands off him.
Daniels:
What do you want here, Blackie?
Blackie:
Mr. Waters alive, for one thing.
Waters:
Have him arrested, Blackie! He...he almost killed me just now!
Blackie:
(Cheerfully) Yes, I know, I saw that. And it gave me an idea. All I've got to do is put that idea of mine into execution and both of you had better hope it isn't your execution I'm talking about.
MUSIC
Farraday:
Lights hurt your eyes, Thomas? Too bad. Go on, talk.
Thomas:
Inspector Farraday, there isn't anything I can tell you except what I've already told you. I know nothing of how Mr. Baxter or my butler were killed, or who tried to kill me and make it look like suicide.
Farraday:
Thomas, I'm gonna....!
FX:
phone rings
Oooh. (picks up receiver) Yeah, Farraday speaking. Well, what is it, Blackie? You want me to do what? Are you kidding? Of course I won't. Sure I want to solve this case. And that's the way to do it, heh? (sarcastically) Okay, what can I lose except a couple of hours. Yeah, right away. Eight o'clock tonight is okay. Bye. (hangs up receiver) Thomas, (very cheerfully) you're going to have a dinner party at your house again tonight. And then we're going to the television studio, just like we did last night.
Thomas:
(coldly) Well..what's the reason for all this, Inspector?
Farraday:
Blackie's idea. He says he's going to make the murderer show his hand, so he can get a look at his face.
MUSIC
Blackie:
Gentlemen, as you know Inspector Farraday, Mr. Waters, Mr. Thomas and I have just come here to the television studio from a dinner where we ate exactly what was served at the dinner last night.
Waters:
This farce is a little late in getting started, isn't it?
Thomas:
That's what I thought....
Blackie:
Maybe, Mr. Waters, but the ending is worth it.
Farraday:
Come on, Blackie. Come on. Do something.
Blackie:
I will, Farraday. I'll start with a roll call. First, Inspector Farraday of the police.
Farraday:
What do I do now? Bow?
Blackie:
Not until this case is solved. Rex Daniels, secretary to the late Cyrus Baxter.
Daniels:
Here.
Blackie:
Richard Waters, member of the City Finance Council.
Waters:
Here, Blackie.
Blackie:
And Ralph Thomas, political hanger on. Holding no office but packing a lot of weight.
Thomas:
Thank you, sir.
Blackie:
It's very hot in the studio under these lights, gentlemen. Here, in this pitcher of ice water, we'll all be able to have a drink. But I'm going to improve the taste a little. The small bottle I asked you for, Inspector, please.
Farraday:
Here y'are.
Blackie:
Thanks. There's poison in this water, gentlemen. The same poison that killed Baxter. I'm going to pour it into the water pitcher. (Sound of liquid being poured into water) And now I'm going to drink a glass of the water. (Sound of water being poured into empty glass) There. Now, here's a glass of water for you, Waters, for you Thomas, and for you, Daniels. And for you, Farraday.
Farraday:
Uh huh.
Blackie:
Now, I want all of you to drink the water together. Come on now, one, two...
Daniels:
No, no, I can't do it, I tell you, I can't...
Blackie:
Drink it, Daniels. At the count of three. One...two...three.
Waters:
(Sound of broken glass. Panicky) I won't do it! It's murder! It will kill all of us!
Blackie:
I drank it, Mr. Waters, remember?
Waters:
Sure! Sure, you drank it! But you took an antidote at dinner! You had it in your coffee! And you wouldn't serve coffee to any of us! He's trying to murder us all! Don't let him! I'm going to get out of here! I won't drink that water!
Blackie:
Grab him, Farraday! He's your murderer! Richard Waters!
MUSIC
Mary:
I'm listening, Blackie.
Blackie:
I'm gloating, lovely one. Where shall I begin?
Mary:
With the reason that Waters killed Baxter.
Blackie:
That was because Baxter was going to indict Ralph Thomas. Thomas had to have a partner, in a city job, that partner was Waters. If Baxter named Thomas, Thomas would pass the buck to Waters. Catch on?
Mary:
Catch on. Um, I know why the butler was killed, too. Waters had bribed him to put the antidote in the coffee he served at the dinner, and later killed him to keep him from talking.
Blackie:
Nice going! Waters knew Baxter drank only milk, and so he had the antidote place in the coffee by the butler. He believed I had done the same thing before I drank the water and that gave him away.
Mary:
And Waters later tried to kill Thomas and make it look like suicide so that Thomas would be suspected. How am I doing, Blackie?
Blackie:
You're wonderful, Mary.
Mary:
But I still don't replace a horse, eh? Well, I think you were wonderful, taking a chance on drinking that water you had poisoned.
Blackie:
Don't be silly. I knew I hadn't any poison in that water.
Mary:
What?
Blackie:
It was just more water I added, that's all. Tricky, eh?
Mary:
(In a hard voice) Yes, darling, you're tricky, huh. And I'm thirsty, huh. So, I'll pour myself a little water.
Blackie:
I do all the talking and you get thirsty. That's what I call a close friendship.
Mary:
Well, I'll answer that when I'm through drinking.....now, what was it you....oh, Blackie! Blackie!
Blackie:
What is it, Mary? What!
Mary:
My throat! My throat! Blackie, I'm falling...
Blackie:
It's all right, dear, I'm holding you! What is it? What's the matter!
Mary:
Mmmm. Well, with you holding me (in a sultry voice), nothing's the matter. I'm a little tricky, too, darling.
MUSIC