HOST:
To many of our listeners the name of the leading lady in our dramatic sketch tonight will be quite unfamiliar. Last winter I saw her in "Counselor-at-Law"; was tremendously impressed by her work; learned later that she is considered one of the finest character actresses on the stage today. Her name: Mrs. Jenny Moskowitz. We present Mrs. Moskowitz tonight in "The Baby Carriage," a one-act play by Bosworth Crocker, first produced by the Provincetown Players in 1919. With her will also be heard Kate McComb, Charles Halden, and Louis Sorin.
MUSIC:
"SIDEWALKS OF NEW YORK" ... THEN BEHIND NARRATOR--
NARRATOR:
Scene: Sol Lezinski's small tailor shop in a tenement district on the Lower East Side, New York City. The shop is below street level and through its windows the sidewalk is barely visible. A customer has just gone out, and the wife of the proprietor, played by Mrs. Moskowitz, is examining a suit left for repairs. A baby carriage has trundled past the window. Steps are heard outside. And then the shop bells jangle.
SOUND:
SHOP'S FRONT DOOR OPENS ... BELLS JANGLE ... DOOR SHUTS BEHIND--
MRS. LEZINSKY:
(MILDLY SURPRISED) Oh, Mrs. Rooney. I thought you had moved already.
MRS. ROONEY:
Oh, I only ran in for a minute to bring you these. You wouldn't believe the things I've run across this day, packin'. I'm thinkin' these skates will fit one of your lads. My Mickey used to tear around great on them.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Oh, my David and Julius and Benny could die for joy with these fine skates. Such a good neighbor! Why should you move away now, Mrs. Rooney?
MRS. ROONEY:
Well, the air in the Bronx will be fine for little Eileen. It's a great pity you couldn't be movin' there yourself. With the fresh air and the cheap rent, ought to be great for yourself and the boys -- not to mention the baby that's comin' to you.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Thank God, that don't happen for a little while yet. Always trouble by us. Such expense, too. With Solly's eyes so bad, it's a blessing that we can pay the rent even. And soon another mouth to feed, and still my Solly sticks by his learning. It leaves him no eyes for the business, Mrs. Rooney.
MRS. ROONEY:
And are your man's poor eyes as bad as ever?
MRS. LEZINSKY:
I tell you something, Mrs. Rooney. Solly couldn't keep the shop open without me. Sometimes his eyes go back on him altogether. And he should get an operation. But that cost something. The doctors get rich from that.
MRS. ROONEY:
Oh, 'tis too bad altogether. Ah, well, I must be going, Mrs. Lezinsky. My Eileen is outside in her carriage.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Oh, such a beautiful little girl, Mrs. Rooney. I could wish to have one just like her, I tell you. She sleeps nice in that baby carriage.
MRS. ROONEY:
Well, 'tis the last time she sleeps in it.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
The last time, what?
MRS. ROONEY:
Her father'll be after buying me a go-cart for her now that we're movin'.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Mmm, such a gorgeous baby carriage. What happens to that carriage, Mrs. Rooney?
MRS. ROONEY:
I'll be selling it.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Who buys that carriage, Mrs. Rooney?
MRS. ROONEY:
Oh, more than one has their eye on it, but I'll get my price. Mrs. Cohen has spoke for it.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Oh. How much do you ask for that carriage, Mrs. Rooney?
MRS. ROONEY:
Sure, and I'd let it go for a five-dollar bill, Mrs. Lezinsky.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
(INHALES) My David and Julius and Benny -- they never had such a baby carriage. In all their lives they never rode in a baby carriage. If I should have a little girl like your Eileen, my David and Julius and Benny -- they'd die for joy over their little sister. It should be a girl and I name her Eileen. I name her Eileen, I do assure you.
MRS. ROONEY:
Oh, that's a grand compliment, Mrs. Lezinsky.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Do me a favor, Mrs. Rooney. You should speak to me first before you give that carriage to Mrs. Cohen -- yes? I ask my Solly.
MRS. ROONEY:
Oh, sure I will. Is that himself comin' home?
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Any time now, Mrs. Rooney, he comes from the doctor.
MRS. ROONEY:
Ah, 'tis himself indeed. Well, I'll be goin', Mrs. Lezinsky. (MOVING OFF) See you later.
SOUND:
FRONT DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS AS MRS. ROONEY EXITS
LEZINSKY:
(APPROACHES) So, Gietel -- a customer, yes?
MRS. LEZINSKY:
No, Solly. Only Mrs. Rooney. But Mr. Rosenbloom left his suit. It should be mended and pressed yet. I have it all ready for you.
LEZINSKY:
Not now. My eyes. I go upstairs and rest, Gietel.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
The doctor didn't make your eyes no better, Solly?
LEZINSKY:
How should he make them better when he says all the time, "Don't use them!"? And all the time a man must keep right on working for his children. And soon now comes another one -- nebbich!
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Maybe your eyes get much better now when our little Eileen comes.
LEZINSKY:
Eileen? A Goy name? She should be Rebecca for your mother or Zipporah for mine.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Sure. Zipporah, too, Solly. Eileen Zipporah! When there should be another boy, Solly, then you name him what you like. When it is a little girl -- Eileen. And Mrs. Rooney sells her baby carriage. She gives it away!
LEZINSKY:
She gives you a baby carriage?
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Oh, for five dollars she gives me that lovely baby carriage -- good as new. And the little Eileen Zipporah sleeps on the head and Benny rides at the foot by his little sister. Oh, so elegant -- Solly!
LEZINSKY:
I put my eyes out to earn the bread and this woman -- she should buy a baby carriage!
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Oh, only five dollars. Just like new. Five dollars is cheap for that carriage. Five dollars is nothing for that carriage, I tell you, Solly.
LEZINSKY:
(EXASPERATED) Baby carriage! Baby carriage! If I had so much money for baby carriages, I hire me a cutter here. This way I go blind. Look now, Gietel -- how much money have we got?
MRS. LEZINSKY:
(POINTEDLY) Eh, call me Goldie, Solly, so I know you ain't mad.
LEZINSKY:
(DISMISSIVE) Yes, yes. You got the money -- count it.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Here it is. (COUNTS BILLS) One. Two. Three. Five dollars. Seven dollars. Seventeen. Twenty-seven. Thirty-seven dollars.
LEZINSKY:
So, thirty-seven dollars altogether with the rent and the gas? No, Goldie, it couldn't be done. In the spring maybe we buy a baby carriage.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Yeah, you think she waits till the spring to sell that baby carriage? She sells it now before she moves away -- now, this afternoon, I tell ya.
LEZINSKY:
Didn't David and Julius and Benny live without a baby carriage?
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Oh, yes, a mile to the park, maybe, if I carry them to the fresh air. What time shall I have now for that, with all the extra work and my back broken? In such a baby carriage the little sister sleeps from morning to night -- on the sidewalk by the stoop; she gets fat and healthy from that baby carriage!
LEZINSKY:
When I could pay for the operation, maybe then--
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Operation again -- always operation!
LEZINSKY:
Stop, stop, stop, Gietel. I can spend no more.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
(TEARFUL) Then Mrs. Cohen -- she gets that baby carriage. And every day of my life I see it go past my window! And the little sister -- she goes without. She goes without!
LEZINSKY:
God of Israel, shall I go blind because you must have a baby carriage for our unborn son? (MOVING OFF) I go upstairs.
SOUND:
INNER DOOR SHUTS AS MR. LEZINSKY EXITS
MRS. LEZINSKY:
(CALLS AFTER HIM) Solly, Solly! I didn't tell you. Mr. Rosenbloom's suit -- he comes for it in only one hour. Here, I'll bring it up. You should mend the pockets. (GASPS, TO HERSELF) Money! My god, so much money! So many bills! (CALLS) Solly, Solly! (REALIZES, TO HERSELF) No, no, no. Mrs. Cohen shouldn't get that baby carriage. Whatever happens -- she shouldn't get it!
SOUND:
FRONT DOOR OPENS ... THEN SHUTS BEHIND--
MR. ROSENBLOOM:
(APPROACHES) Oh, Mrs. Lezinsky--?
MRS. LEZINSKY:
(NERVOUS GUILT) Oh, yes, er, er, Mr. Rosenbloom?
SOUND:
DOOR OPENS AS MR. LEZINSKY ENTERS
MR. ROSENBLOOM:
Oh, Sol! It's good to see you again.
LEZINSKY:
And what can I do for you, Mr. Rosenbloom?
MR. ROSENBLOOM:
(SHEEPISH) Well, I - I left a suit to be pressed here a few minutes ago and now I discover I have left my money in the pants pocket. Such a foolish thing.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Here is the pants, Mr. Rosenbloom.
MR. ROSENBLOOM:
Now let me look-- Yes. Yes, here is the money. But, er--
LEZINSKY:
Yes, Mr. Rosenbloom?
MR. ROSENBLOOM:
(SLOWLY) I'm sure I left it in the other pocket -- the back pocket. That's funny. And there's a bill missing. It's short five dollars.
LEZINSKY:
(STERN, SUSPICIOUS) Gietel--?
MRS. LEZINSKY:
(NERVOUS) How should I know?
LEZINSKY:
(WITH CALM AUTHORITY THAT HIDES HIS EMOTION) Mr. Rosenbloom, however that happens, I make up that five dollars. I make it up right away. (STERN) Gietel, give me our money. (AS BEFORE) I pay you from our own money, Mr. Rosenbloom. (POINTEDLY) Gietel, hand me the money. (BEAT, TENSE) All, Gietel, all. (TO ROSENBLOOM, COUNTS BILLS) So! One dollar, two dollar, three dollar, and two is five dollars.
MR. ROSENBLOOM:
Oh, you shouldn't be out that five dollars, Mr. Lezinsky. Anyhow, pay me the difference when you charge for the suit.
LEZINSKY:
No, Mr. Rosenbloom, you will take the money, please. I couldn't rest otherwise. (PENSIVE) In all my life, this never happened before.
MR. ROSENBLOOM:
(SHRUGS) Well, if you want it that way, Mr. Lezinski, all right. (MOVING OFF) I'm sorry. Goodbye.
SOUND:
FRONT DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS AS ROSENBLOOM EXITS
LEZINSKY:
(WITH OMINOUS CALM) Gietel--? Gietel--?
MRS. LEZINSKY:
(NERVOUS) Solly, why do you look at me like that? Solly!
LEZINSKY:
(DESPAIRING) Blind as I am, I see too much, Gietel. I give my money. I give my eyes. And this woman -- she sells me for a baby carriage.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
No, no, Solly. You shouldn't say such things before you know--
LEZINSKY:
Silence, woman! How should I not know?! It is here in my hand -- the five-dollar bill -- here in my hand! I have counted the money. Thirty-seven dollars we had. I have given back the five -- and thirty seven dollars remains. How is that, Gietel? What is the answer to that?
MRS. LEZINSKY:
(SOBS) Solly! Solly, I tell you-- (SOBS) The baby carriage--
LEZINSKY:
Out of my sight, woman! I forbid you should come into this shop again.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
O, Solly leben, that couldn't be! Listen, Solly, I didn't mean to keep that money. I should use it -- just this afternoon -- to buy the baby carriage -- and when the customer pays us -- put the money back before he misses it.
LEZINSKY:
Meshugge! So much money isn't coming to us! Gietel-- Gietel, you are-- I can't speak the word, Gietel. It sticks in my throat.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
(INCREASINGLY TEARFUL) No, no, Solly, you shouldn't speak that word. If I took it to keep it, maybe. But no, I couldn't do such a thing. But just to keep it for a few hours, maybe? Why should a man with so much money miss a little for a few hours? Then Mr. Rosenbloom -- he comes back in. I changed my mind, but the door opens and it is too late already. Solly leben, did I keep it back -- the five dollars? I ask you, Solly. Didn't I give it all into your hands? I ask you that, Solly!
LEZINSKY:
(IN DESPAIR) Woe is me! The mother of my children -- she takes what is not her own!
MRS. LEZINSKY:
(TEARFUL) So much money, and not one dollar to pay Mrs. Rooney for the baby carriage. Always fine-dressed people around -- the mamas and the little children all dressed fine -- with white socks and white shoes. And our David -- and our Julius -- and our Benny, even -- what must they wear? Old clothes. Never no pretty things. And just for once I wanted something lovely and stylish -- like other people have. Then she asks only five dollars for the baby carriage. And Mrs. Cohen-- (SOBS) Now, Mrs. Cohen -- she gets it. She gets it! And I must want, and want. First David -- then Julius -- then comes Benny -- and now the little sister -- and never once a baby carriage! (WEEPS FOR A LONG MOMENT)
SOUND:
FRONT DOOR OPENS
MRS. LEZINSKY:
(STOPS WEEPING ABRUPTLY, GATHERS HERSELF, QUIETLY) Oh, Mrs. Rooney -- she comes now to say goodbye. You should look at it once, Solly. Such a lovely baby carriage. (UP, TO MRS. ROONEY) Come in, Mrs. Rooney.
MRS. ROONEY:
(APPROACHES) Oh, I came back to tell you that--
MRS. LEZINSKY:
(INTERRUPTS, RESIGNED) Yes, it's no use, Mrs. Rooney. Mrs. Cohen -- she gets this lovely carriage.
MRS. ROONEY:
(QUICKLY) Mrs. Cohen? She gets it? Does she now? Ha! Not if my name's Rooney does Mrs. Cohen get it. And she only after offering to raise me a dollar to make sure of the baby carriage, knowing your sore need of the same. "I'll give you six dollars for it," she says to me. Says I to her: "Mrs. Cohen, when I spoke to you of that baby carriage," says I, "it clean slipped me mind that I promised the same to Mrs. Lezinsky." So here it is, and here it stays, or my name's not Rooney.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Oh, so much money we haven't got now. It couldn't be done, Mrs. Rooney. Solly should have every dollar for that operation.
MRS. ROONEY:
Oh, there now -- no more about it! 'Tis your own from this day out. You can take your own time to be paying for it.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
(OVERJOYED) Oh, Solly! Ain't it wonderful? Mrs. Rooney -- she trust us -- for this beautiful baby carriage! Solly! Solly, we should have a baby carriage at last! At last we should have a baby carriage!
MRS. ROONEY:
Well, good luck to both of ye, and goodbye. Three Thousand and Thirty-Seven Jerome Avenue. Don't forgit now.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Goodbye, Mrs. Rooney. Next time you come, maybe you see her -- the baby and the baby carriage -- that little Eileen!
MRS. ROONEY:
Sure. Goodbye.
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Goodbye.
SOUND:
FRONT DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS AS MRS. ROONEY EXITS
MRS. LEZINSKY:
Oh, Solly leben, say you forgive me, Solly, yes? Solly?
LEZINSKY:
(BEAT, WARM AND SLOW) Yes, Goldie.
SOUND:
APPLAUSE ...