FORMAN:
Good health to all from Rexall!
MUSIC:
REXALL FANFARE, THEN THEME UP, UNDER
FORMAN:
Yes, it's Sunday. Time for the Phil Harris-Alice Faye Show. Presented by the makers of Rexall drug products, and ten-thousand independent Rexall family druggists.
MUSIC:
OUT
DRUGGIST:
Good evening. This is your Rexall family druggist, taking a little time from behind the prescription counter, this Sunday evening, to speak for all ten-thousand of us. The ten-thousand independent druggists who have added the word "Rexall" to our own store names. You can always tell us by the orange and blue Rexall sign on our windows. The sign means that we carry the two-thousand or more drug products made by the Rexall Drug Company. They range all the way from aspirin to penicillin, and they're as fine and pure and dependable as science can make them. We independent druggists recommend them to our customers, because we know you can depend on any drug product that bears the name Rexall.
MUSIC:
REXALL FANFARE UP, THEN UNDER
FORMAN:
Good health to all, from Rexall!
MUSIC:
THEME UP, THEN UNDER
FORMAN:
And now, your Rexall family druggist brings you the Phil Harris-Alice Faye Show. Written by Ray Singer and Dick Chevillat. With Elliott Lewis, Walter Tetley, Robert North, Jeanine Roos, Anne Whitfield, Walter Scharf and his music, yours truly Bill Forman, and starring Alice Faye and Phil Harris!
MUSIC:
"ROSE ROOM" UP, THEN OUT
FORMAN:
For the past two weeks, Alice has been planning to redecorate the master bedroom. But, with Frankie living at the house, she hasn't had much chance to do anything but wait on Frankie. Today, she has decided to go through with her plans, and we find her outlining her decorating scheme.
FAYE:
I'm thinking of ordering a nice soft brown wallpaper for our bedroom. I think it'll look very nice.
PHYLLIS:
Maybe it will, Mommy, but before you decide, you should ask the head of the house.
HARRIS:
Oh, it'll be okay with me.
PHYLLIS:
I'm talking about Uncle Frankie.
HARRIS:
Frankie is the head of this house now?
PHYLLIS:
You said it. And let's not do anything to upset the boss man.
FAYE:
Phil, I hate to keep harping on this, but Frankie isn't even looking for a job. He lies in bed all day. He hasn't been on his two feet for two weeks.
HARRIS:
Aw, you're exaggerating.
FAYE:
Well then, how come, when he got up this morning, I had to teach him how to walk again? It's ridiculous.
HARRIS:
Honey, stop complaining, willya? I used to have to do that with him every Saturday night. For two years, I had to take a Taylor Tot with us wherever we went.
ALICE:
I wish you wouldn't pick on poor Uncle Frankie. He'd like to look for a job, but he can't. Because of the sabre wound on his foot.
HARRIS:
What sabre wound?
ALICE:
The one he got when he was duelling at old Heidelburg.
FAYE:
Now, children, don't believe everything Uncle Frankie tells you. How could he get a sabre wound on his foot?
ALICE:
He said he was duelling with a nearsighted midget.
HARRIS:
What a pity. To think a brain that can dream up alibis like that should be wasted on an unmarried man.
FAYE:
Phil, even if he had a leg wound, that wouldn't prevent him from writing answers to want ads.
PHYLLIS:
Uncle Frankie said he'd like to, but he can't write, on account of his arm is too weak to hold a pen.
HARRIS:
He told you that?
PHYLLIS:
Yes, his muscle got cut when he was pig-sticking with the Bengal Lancers. In "Indjah".
HARRIS:
Will you stop that? (SWIITCH) Which side was he on?
PHYLLIS:
You know, Phil... Phil, I don't think Frankie wants to work. He comes up with those ridiculous jobs like selling shoelaces and fish.
HARRIS:
Oh, Alice, give the guy a chance. He got up early this morning, and said he won't come back until he gets something, and I guarantee you that when he--
SFX:
DOORBELL
HARRIS:
I'll get that.
SFX:
WALKS TO DOOR. OPENS IT.
FRANKIE:
(EXCITED) Curly, I got something! I'm in business at last!
HARRIS:
Oh, Frankie, that's wonderful! I can't w-- (SWITCH) Wait. What kind of business? Sellin' shoelaces again?
FRANKIE:
Of course not.
HARRIS:
Peddlin' fish?
FRANKIE:
Oh, please! Those were just gags. This is somethin' big! Something important!
HARRIS:
Oh, that's great, Remley! Gee! What have you got?
FRANKIE:
I bought a half-interest in a boxing kangaroo!
HARRIS:
A box-- Oh, no, Remley. What are ya gonna do with that?
FRANKIE:
Well, this guy has two kangaroos, and he said if I bought this one, it would make a fortune for me, fighting in the ring!
HARRIS:
Oh, Remley, of all the stupid things, lettin' a guy sell you a kangaroo that boxes.
FRANKIE:
Should'a bought the one that knits, huh? Nah. How much can I make on a pair of argylls?
HARRIS:
Tell me somethin', Remley. Where do you meet these characters? It's a wonder he didn't try to sell you a talkin' dog.
FRANKIE:
He had one. I was too smart to go for that.
HARRIS:
Well, at least you're not a complete idiot.
FRANKIE:
Of course not. It was a French poodle. I'd have to hire an interpreter for it.
HARRIS:
Frankie, did you pay for this kangaroo yet?
FRANKIE:
No, no. I just put a deposit on it. They're keepin' it for me til I get the rest o' the money.
HARRIS:
Where are they keepin' it?
FRANKIE:
At Bank of America. They're holdin' him in escrow til the sale's completed. Now, if you'll give me two-hundred and fifty dollars, I'll go over and pick him up.
HARRIS:
Wait a minute! You ain't gettin' no money from me to buy no kangaroos!
FRANKIE:
What?
HARRIS:
Frankie, you're supposed to be out lookin' for a job. Why didn't ya?
FRANKIE:
Well, I was going to, but then I figured it's a waste o' time. Why take a job when pretty soon, I can retire on my income?
HARRIS:
You mean, you're...comin' into money soon?
FRANKIE:
Oh, sure. In only thirty-five short years, I'll be gettin' my Social Security. You see my point, don't you?
HARRIS:
Oh, of course. It's hardly worth your while seeking temporary employment.
FRANKIE:
Precisely.
HARRIS:
It seems a shame that you should have to wait thirty-five years. Maybe we can put you in a barrel and age you a little faster.
FRANKIE:
I'm in no hurry. I'm happy here. You won't mind havin' me around for thirty-five years, willya?
HARRIS:
Naaaaaw! It isn't every family that's lucky enough to have Remley around for three and a half decades. Almost six "fortnits". (SWITCH) Look, Frankie...
FRANKIE:
Hm?
HARRIS:
Let me get ya straight right now. You're intrudin' on our privacy, and Alice resents it.
FRANKIE:
I don't think she has any right to resent it.
HARRIS:
Look, Remley. Willya listen to me? Married couples like to be alone sometimes. Alone.
FRANKIE:
Yeah...
HARRIS:
Now, put yourself in my place. Supposin' you were married to Alice, and I came to live with you. How would you like it?
FRANKIE:
Yeah, I dunno... (SWITCH) Let's try it that way for a while, and see.
HARRIS:
Remley, willya please be serious? All ya have to do to stay here is to be nice to Alice. Now, if you want people to like you, you gotta be nice to them. Even if ya have to force yourself. That's the way they do things where I came from.
FRANKIE:
(CHILDLIKE) Where do you come from, Daddy?
HARRIS:
Siddown, Baby Snooks, and I'll tell you.
PHIL'S SONG:
IS IT TRUE WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT DIXIE?"
FRANKIE:
(FAWNING) Oh, Curly, that was splendid! Simply exquisite! Your voice has a quality and resonance that is beyond compare!
HARRIS:
What's that for?
FRANKIE:
Well, ya told me to be nice to people, even if I have to force myself. Believe me, when it comes to praising your voice, I really have to.
HARRIS:
All right, break it up, willya? Remley, I'm gonna give you a little tip on how to get along with Alice.
FRANKIE:
M-hm?
HARRIS:
Ya see, Alice is a woman--
FRANKIE:
Well, thanks, old boy, for lettin' me in on a family secret!
HARRIS:
Remley, listen.
FRANKIE:
What?
HARRIS:
I didn't mean that. Bein' a woman, Alice likes to be treated with courtesy and consideration. All ya got to do is to be charming and gallant.
FRANKIE:
All right, all right. I'll be charming and gallant. A guy's gotta be Rudolph Valentino to live here. I'll do my best to be nice to her.
FAYE:
(APPROACHING) Phil! Phil, I have to go downtown to-- (DOWN) Oh, Frankie, you're back. Did you find work?
FRANKIE:
Work??? Curly, how do ya expect me to be nice to her when she greets me with such obscene language? I don't have to stand here and take this. Good-bye!
FAYE:
Frankie, you mean you're going?
FRANKIE:
Yes! I'm going up to my room and sulk.
HARRIS:
Well, have a good cry.
FRANKIE:
(OFF MIKE) All right.
HARRIS:
But don't get the sheets wet!
FAYE:
Phil, do you think we'll ever get rid of him?
HARRIS:
I don't know. He says he's considerin' stayin' here for thirty-five years.
FAYE:
Over my dead body!
HARRIS:
Shhh! Don't put any ideas in his head.
FAYE:
Phil, I've been thinking. If we could find a girl for him, and marry him off, maybe then he'd leave, hm?
HARRIS:
I doubt it. We'd probably have his wife and mother-in-law on our hands too. Besides, where could we find a dame who'd be willing to marry Remley?
WILLIE:
Good morning, Philip! Hello, Alice.
FAYE:
Hello, Willie.
HARRIS:
Hey, ya know somethin', Willie? It's too bad you ain't a girl.
WILLIE:
Why?
HARRIS:
So we could marry you off to Remley, and belive me, you both deserve each other!
WILLIE:
Are you still having trouble with Franklyn?
FAYE:
Yes, he's still living here, and he's driving us crazy!
WILLIE:
What that man needs is someone to give him a good sound thrashing. Alice, if you want me to, I shall be happy to take him by the scruff of his neck and the seat of his pants, and toss him out, bodily! (PAUSE) GRRRRR!
FAYE:
(SHOCKED) Willie, control yourself.
HARRIS:
Yeah, when the monster in you comes out, you're positively predatory.
WILLIE:
I'm sorry, Philip. I didn't mean to frighten you. I just can't help it. Every once in a while, the beast in me shows itself.
HARRIS:
And Remley wants a kangaroo...
WILLIE:
I can be vicious when I want to, m-hm. I'm capable of--
HARRIS:
Oh, get lost, you ferocious little dachshund, you! Pick up your stomach, and crawl outta here.
FAYE:
Willie! Willie, come back here. Did you take care of hiring the paperhanger? When is he coming?
WILLIE:
Oh, why, he can't come for-- for at least two weeks, Alice. He's very busy now.
FAYE:
Aw, darn it. And I wanted our bedroom done as soon as possible. (SWITCH) Look, Phil, I'm going downtown with Willie, and pick out the paper. While I'm gone, look up some paperhangers in the phonebook, and see if you can get one out here in a hurry, huh?
HARRIS:
All right, honey. I'll go and call right away.
WILLIE:
What's your hurry, Alice? Your bedroom doesn't look that bad.
FAYE:
I'm not thinking of our bedroom. You see, I'm having the children's playroom repapered too.
WILLIE:
Oh.
FAYE:
For Phyllis' birthday. I want it to be a surprise, so I haven't even told Phil yet.
WILLIE:
Oh, you're right. Old blabbermouth never could keep a secret. What kind of wallpaper are you getting for the playroom, Alice?
FAYE:
Oh, I've picked out a nice gaily-coloured barnyard scene. You know, red barns, animals and things?
WILLIE:
Mmm.
FAYE:
It's to be delivered today.
WILLIE:
Mm, that's wonderful. You know, Alice, children are lucky these days. We didn't have a playroom when you and I were young. We lived in a tenement on Tenth Avenue, and--
FAYE:
Willie!
WILLIE:
Hm?
FAYE:
William, please! We movie stars don't talk about things like that. We never lived in a tenement on Tenth Avenue. You must be referring to our ancestral estate on Double Fifth, eh?
WILLIE:
What ancestral estate?
FAYE:
The one with the dumbwaiter and the fire escape, of course. And remember that singing waiter who lived next door? He used to drive us crazy, rehearsing that same song all the time. I can still hear him.
WILLIE:
Oh.
ALICE'S SONG:
"ROSIE, YOU ARE MY POSEY"
HARRIS:
(ON PHONE) Yeah? Yeah, I understand, but, look, mister, that's what I'm callin' about, ya see? There's only one room to be papered, and if you'll come over, my wife'll pay ya double time, and-- All right, if ya can't, ya can't. G'bye.
SFX:
HANGS UP PHONE
HARRIS:
Tried everybody in the book, and I can't--
FRANKIE:
(APPROACHING) Hey, Curly, ya through on the phone yet? How many times do I have to tell ya to keep the phone free? I'm expectin' an important call.
HARRIS:
Yes, I know. "They're off and running in the fourth at Hialeah! It's Wooden Shoes in the lead! They're in the stretch! It's Wooden Shoes by a length at the finish!"
FRANKIE:
How do ya like that? This week, when I haven't got anythin'on him, he wins. What did he pay?
HARRIS:
Cut that out, willya? Alice is doin' our bedroom over, and she's very anxious to get a paperhanger. Ya know any?
FRANKIE:
I can't be bothered with that stuff.
HARRIS:
Can't be bothered, can't be bothered. That's your trouble, ya can't never be bothered. Remley, if you had any sense, you'd try and help. It might get ya in good with Alice.
SFX:
DOORBELL
HARRIS:
I'll get that.
FRANKIE:
All right.
SFX:
PHIL GOES TO DOOR. OPENS IT.
MAN:
I'm from Kerwin's Decorating Shop. I got some wallpaper for ya.
HARRIS:
Alice sure picked it out fast. Put it down, son.
SFX:
THUD OF PARCEL DROPPED ON FLOOR
MAN:
Hey. Where's Alice Faye, hey?
HARRIS:
She's not at home right now.
MAN:
Aw, darn it! I'm kinda anxious to see her in person. I'm a fan o' hers. I listen to her radio show every week.
HARRIS:
Her radio show?
MAN:
Yeah. Do you know her, mister?
HARRIS:
Know her? She does my laundry. Of course I know her. I'm related to her.
MAN:
Well, you oughtta be proud, mister! You sure got a beautiful daughter, there!
HARRIS:
Huh???
MAN:
So long!
SFX:
DOOR SLAM
HARRIS:
Daughter. Hmmm. Ya don't sleep with the chin-strap one night, and ya start to sag. Gotta start watchin' it. (CALLS) Hey, Remley! The wallpaper just arrived. Ya thought of any paperhangers yet?
FRANKIE:
(APPROACHING) No, look, I got a better idea. I know a way I can really get in good with Alice. She don't have to hire a paperhanger. We can do it!
HARRIS:
Yeah, I guess we can (SWITCH) Wait! You ain't gonna do nothin', Remley. Every time you do somethin' around this house, it costs me money.
FRANKIE:
Oh, look, Curly, what's there to hangin' wallpaper? Look, the paper's here, and Alice is in a hurry. She's a good kid. Why don't we help her out.
HARRIS:
I don't wanna help her out!
FRANKIE:
Curly, as long as you're living here with us, the least you can do is be useful. If you don't change your attitude, we may have to ask you to leave.
HARRIS:
Look, Frankie, let's face it now. We're a couple of clever kids. That I know.
FRANKIE:
Granted.
HARRIS:
But what do we know about hangin' wallpaper?
FRANKIE:
Curly, a child could put wallpaper up. All you have to do is glue it on the wall.
HARRIS:
True.
FRANKIE:
Sure.
HARRIS:
We couldn't do no damage.
FRANKIE:
Nothing.
HARRIS:
Okay, Remley, let's try it. I'll mix up a batch of paste, and you go out in the garage, and get a coupla ladders. Hurry it up.
FRANKIE:
Right!
MUSIC:
UP, THEN OUT
SFX:
RUSTLE OF WALLPAPER
FRANKIE:
Hey, Curly, I don't wanna say anything, but ain't this kinda funny paper for a master bedroom? Red barns, blue sky, green grass, all different coloured animals?
HARRIS:
Yeah, Alice said she was just gonna get a soft brown that-- Well, she musta changed her mind. Let's put it up.
FRANKIE:
Okay, let's get started. Curly, you get up on this ladder, and start on the space over the door.
HARRIS:
Okay.
SFX:
PHIL CLIMBS LADDER
HARRIS:
Hey, Remley!
FRANKIE:
Yeah?
HARRIS:
Hand me that bucket o' paste.
FRANKIE:
Okay, here ya are. (LIFTING IT) Careful, now. Don't spill it. It's filled up to the top.
JULIUS:
(CALLING, OFF MIKE) Where is everybody? I brung the groceries!
HARRIS:
(CALLING) Hey, we're in here, Julius! But don't come in. If you open that door, you'll knock me off this ladder!
JULIUS:
(SLIGHTLY OFF MIKE) Ya mean, if I was to open the door like this?
SFX:
DOOR OPEN
HARRIS:
(YELL)
SFX:
CRASH OF LADDER, PHIL, AND BUCKET HITTING FLOOR
JULIUS:
I'd knock ya off the ladder like that?
HARRIS:
Oh! Now, look at this mess! Paste all over the room, and the-- Oh, look at this big sloppy blob of paste right on the rug!
FRANKIE:
I'll thank you to stop insulting me, and help me up! Look at me, all covered from head to foot with this white paste!
JULIUS:
(LAUGHS)
HARRIS:
What's there to laugh at? He looks awful.
JULIUS:
(LAUGHING) I think he looks beautiful! He looks like the bride on top of a weddin' cake!
FRANKIE:
Oh, Julius, you lop-eared lilliputian! Curly, do somethin'! Get this paste off me! It's startin' to get stiff!
HARRIS:
Julius, what's the matter with you? If you keep on doin' things like this, you won't grow up to be a human bein'! You keep on--
FRANKIE:
(GETTING PANICKY) Now, Curly, please! Get this stuff offa me! I can't move my arms now!
HARRIS:
Quiet, Remley! This lad needs talkin' to! Look, Julus, I wanna help you, my dear--
FRANKIE:
Help me first! Get this paste off my face! It's startin' to harden around my (STIFF-JAWED) mouth! (CAN'T MOVE HIS FACE AT ALL. DESPERATE GRUNTS AND WHIMPERS)
HARRIS:
Are ya through talkin', Remley?
FRANKIE:
(ANGRY NOISES)
JULIUS:
I guess he is.
FRANKIE:
(ANGRY NOISES)
HARRIS:
Hey, wait a minute. Julius, he ain't kiddin'. Look at him. Look at-- Just feel him.
SFX:
KNOCKING ON SOLID PLASTER
HARRIS:
He's hard as a rock. How'm I gonna soften him up?
JULIUS:
Why don't ya soak him in turpentine overnight?
FRANKIE:
(TERRIFIED NOISES)
JULIUS:
Hey! Hey, why bother softening him up at all, Mr. Harris? You're tryin' to get him a job, ain't ya?
HARRIS:
What's that got to do with it?
JULIUS:
If ya leave him hard, ya can slip a horse under him, and sell him as a cheap statue.
HARRIS:
Julius, will you get outta here? This is serious. Now, get outta here! Just look at the condition poor Frankie's in.
JULIUS:
He oughtta be ashamed of himself. Gettin' stiff so early in the afternoon! So long, fellas! (LAUGHS, FADING OFF MIKE)
HARRIS:
Get outta here!
SFX:
DOOR SLAMS
HARRIS:
What am I gonna do with that kid? Howya feelin' Frank?
FRANKIE:
(ANGRY NOISES)
HARRIS:
Would ya mind rephrasing that?
FRANKIE:
(ANGRY NOISES)
HARRIS:
Remley! Now, look, if ya gotta say something, say it, willya? Stop swallowin' your words.
FRANKIE:
(FURIOUS NOISES)
HARRIS:
All right, all right, all right. Take it easy. Take it easy. I'll get some hot water and soften ya up. In no time, you'll be the same ol' Remley, and uh-- (SWITCH) Come to think of it, is that what we want? In this condition, Alice might learn to love him.
FRANKIE:
(FURIOUS NOISES)
HARRIS:
All right, all right. I was only kiddin'. Now lemme see if can scrape this stuff off ya. And then we gotta get busy and start paperin' this room, you and me.
MUSIC:
UP, THEN OUT
HARRIS:
Hey, Remley.
FRANKIE:
Huh?
HARRIS:
Finally got the room papered. Hey, we did a pretty good job, didn't we?
FRANKIE:
I told ya we could do it. Looks swell, too. But... it's a kinda morbid paper for a bedroom.
HARRIS:
Whaddaya mean, morbid?
FRANKIE:
Well, look at all those dead animals lyin' there on their backs, with their feet stickin' up in the air.
HARRIS:
What are you talkin' about? There's no dead-- (TAKE) Remley, you put that paper on upside-down. Oh, now we'll never be able to get it off! What am I gonna do?
FRANKIE:
Teach Alice to walk around on her hands.
HARRIS:
Thank goodness you didn't do the whole room, buddy. My side looks fine.
FRANKIE:
Yeah, I can't tell. It's too dark to see. That wallpaper really darkened up the room.
HARRIS:
That's just because the shades are down. Go over to the window, and pull up the shades.
FRANKIE:
Okay.
SFX:
FRANKIE WALKS TO WINDOWS, SLOWS DOWN, STOPS
FRANKIE:
(PAUSE) Curly?
HARRIS:
Yeah?
FRANKIE:
You sure you had windows in this room?
HARRIS:
Oh, no, no! Oh, you papered over the windows! How stupid can a guy be? It's a good thing I did the other side o' the room. Now, I'm gonna have to go outside and find the windows. I'll be right back.
SFX:
PHIL WALKS TO DOOR, SLOWS DOWN, STOPS
HARRIS:
(PAUSE) Remley?
FRANKIE:
What?
HARRIS:
Remley, I won't say nothin' about your windows, if you don't say nothin' about my door.
FRANKIE:
(SMILING) Now you know how stupid a guy can be.
HARRIS:
Hey, wait a minute. This ain't funny. We gotta find that door if we wanna get outta here. We don't--
FAYE:
(CALLING, OFF MIKE) Phil? Phil, where are you?
HARRIS:
Oh-oh, oh-oh, it's Alice! Let's not say anything, Remley. Maybe she'll go away.
FAYE:
(APPROACHING, OFF MIKE) Are you in the bedroom, Phil? I wanna show you what I--
SFX:
DOOR OPENS, TEARING THROUGH WALLPAPER. ALICE STEPS INTO ROOM
FRANKIE:
Smart girl. She found the door.
FAYE:
What in the world is going on here? (TAKE) Oh, no! My beautiful bedroom! What have you fellas done to it? Look at it! Look at it!
HARRIS:
I knew you'd like it, honey.
FAYE:
This paper was supposed to be for the children's playroom. I wanted to surprise them.
FRANKIE:
Well, they'll be surprised. They'll never expect to see their wallpaper in your bedroom.
FAYE:
Phil Harris, this is the end. I've taken all I can. As long as Frankie's in this house, I'm not going to stay! I'm going home to my mother!
HARRIS:
But Alice--
FRANKIE:
Aw, let her go. She can't bluff me.
HARRIS:
Frankie, be quiet! (PLEADING) Alice, you can't leave me! If you stay, I'll promise to get rid of Frankie, but don't leave me! Please honey! Don't go away! Don't go-- (SWITCH) Alice, stop packin' your money!
MUSIC:
UP, TO CRESCENDO, THEN OUT
FORMAN:
Alice and Phil will be back in a minute. In the meantime, our Rexall family druggist has a young and inquiring customer.
SFX:
DRUGSTORE AMBIENCE, UNDER
SFX:
RING OF OLD FASHIONED CASH REGISTER. CASH REGISTER DRAWER OPENS, THEN CLOSES
BOY Mister? Why do you call yourself a "family druggist"?
DRUGGIST:
Well, sonny, it's like this. Most of us independent Rexall druggists have been serving families in our neighbourhoods or towns for a good many years. In fact, we've seen young fellows--like you--grow up, get married, and start buying drug products for their own families.
BOY:
What's the Rexall part mean?
DRUGGIST:
You see that orange and blue sign on the window there?
BOY:
Yeah.
DRUGGIST:
Well, that sign means that we carry the two-thousand or more drug products made by the Rexall Drug Company.
BOY:
Who are they?
DRUGGIST:
Why, they're people who've taken years and years to make sure that Rexall drug products are completely fine and pure and good. They've made it possible for druggists like me to tell our customers--people like your mommy and dad--you can depend on any drug product that bears the name "Rexall". Can you say that?
BOY:
Well... sure! You can depend on any drug product that bears the name "Rexall".
FORMAN:
Good health to all, from Rexall!
MUSIC:
REXALL FANFARE, THEN "ROSE ROOM" UP, THEN FADE OUT
HARRIS:
(ON PHONE, PLEADING) Alice, honey. Alice, please don't hang up on me. Look, this Tuesday, I'll take Remley over to Bob Hope's program. He's gonna do it from the Redlands High School. And then, Wednesday, I'll go over to Bing Crosby's show. Maybe they can use him in their bands.
FAYE:
Well, supposin' they can't? Then what?
HARRIS:
Well, then there's only one thing left. I'll take him to see Jack Bailey. Maybe he'll make him Queen For a Day.
MUSIC:
CLOSING THEME UP, AND UNDER
FORMAN:
This program was produced and directed by Paul Phillips. The part of Frankie Remley was played by Elliott Lewis. And Julius was played by Walter Tetley. Included in today's cast was Jerry Hausner. Alice Faye appeared through the courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox. This is Bill Forman, wishing good health to all, from Rexall!
MUSIC:
THEME CONTINUES, THEN FADES OUT
ANNCR:
This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.
NBC CHIMES