MUSIC:

THEME up and under

ANNCR:

Stories of love and adventure, of comedy and crisis, of conflict and human emotion. Today, an adventure of the high seas. A fierce and lusty pirate tale from the pen of Antony Ellis. With ----------- as Captain Blackton and starring --------- as Bloodthirsty Kate.

SFX:

INTERIOR CREAKS OF SHIP...FOOTSTEPS CROSS ROOM, STOP...POUR DRINK SLOPPILY...SET DOWN BOTTLE

BLACKTON:

(DRINKS, THEN SPEWS OUT THE LIQUOR) Blast!

SFX:

HURLS GLASS AT WALL

BLACKTON:

(Bellowing) Namby! Namby!

SFX:

DOOR BURSTS OPEN...STEPS FADE ON FAST

NAMBY:

You called, Captain, sir?

BLACKTON:

Who's been waterin' my rum, you sniveling little muck-worm?

NAMBY:

(terrified) Not me, sir...captain...

BLACKTON:

Tastes like bilge.

NAMBY:

It's them last barrels we lifted from the Spanish galleon, Captain Blackton, sir...A very inferior rum, I fear...Very inferior, indeed.

BLACKTON:

Is there none of the Jamaican left?

NAMBY:

No sir, you drank the last of it yesterday.

BLACKTON:

You mean...this...(SFX: MOVEMENT OF BOTTLE) this slop is all to drink aboard?

NAMBY:

I'm afraid it's the truth, sir...

BLACKTON:

Gor! A man could die of thirst afore swillin' that...I ought to slit yer nose, and sew yer ears to yer head for servin' me such...yer slubberdergullion.

NAMBY:

I'm sorry, captain...but you told me never to touch yer rum, sir...

BLACKTON:

Shut yer jaw, Namby...you lily-livered aggravation. Where's Mr. Muggeridge and Mr. Gonfalon?

NAMBY:

On deck, sir...

BLACKTON:

Fetch 'em down here...

NAMBY:

(twittering) Yes, sir...aye...captain...sir...

SFX:

(He RUNS OFF)

BLACKTON:

(Roaring) And take this with you.

SFX:

BOTTLE IS HURLED AFTER NAMBY. SMASHES OFF.

MUSIC:

SHORT BRIDGE AND OUT

SFX:

INTERMITTANT CREAKING OF THE SHIP

BLACKTON:

Sit ye down...mates...(SFX: MUGG & GONFALON SITTING)

MUGG:

(adlib) Aye, Cap'n

GONFALON:

(adlib) Thank you, sir.

BLACKTON:

I have called a council of war, so to speak, because our fortunes have sunk to an horrible bottom.

GF:

Bad as that, cap'n?

BLACKTON:

Worse! We ain't got a brass farthing in the coffer...and the rum aboard's only fit for pigs and the crew...

MUGG:

S'truth?

BLACKTON:

S'truth.

MUGG:

Gor...

BLACKTON:

We ain't seen a ruddy ship for nigh on 3 weeks...and something's got to be done.

GF:

Never a truer word was spoke, captain...

MUGG:

Aye...never...

BLACKTON:

Yer me first mate, Gonfalon...you got an idea what's to do?

GF:

Well....

BLACKTON:

Go on...Have a go...

GF:

We could raid Bridgetown again.

SFX:

HARD SLAP

GF:

Owww...

BLACKTON:

That's for havin' barmy ideas...you know half of his Majesty's fleet's layin' in them water...what do you want to do...get us all hung? All right...Muggeridge...you...

MUGG:

Not me, sir...I haven't got a blessed thought in me whole head...

BLACKTON:

Ahhh! Well, then it's up to me, eh? (SFX: PACING DECK) How's about running down to Trineedad? We might find pickings there...(SFX: STOP PACING) ..How's our powder and shot holdin' out, Gonfalon?

GF (slightly off) We have a supply, sir..

MUGG:

We ought to take a chance, sir, we really ought...I've heard the men grumblin' about not being paid and all...a little action wouldn't hurt them..

BLACKTON:

All right...all right. Trineedad it tis...

SFX:

FOOTSTEPS AS HE WALKS BACK TO THEM.

GF:

(fading on) Beggin' the cap'n's pardon...I've heard tell that Bloodthirsty Kate's in them waters...and she don't take kindly to anyone poachin' on her rights...

BLACKTON:

Bloodthirsty Kate? That miserable old cow...? Callin' herself a pirate...That scurvy excuse for a woman? I'd like to meet her just once, I'd blow the whole flamin' lot out of the sea...come on...

SFX:

MUGGERIDGE AND GONFALON GET UP

BLACKTON:

We're sailin' for Trineedad.

MUSIC:

BRIDGE AND OUT

SFX:

EXTERIOR SHIP SOUNDS...WIND...WAVES

LOOKOUT:

(male) (well off, calling) A Sail-ho! Off the starboard bow...Sail-ho!

CAST:

(male) ad lib excitement in back ground

GF:

Here Muggridge...give me the glass...let's have a look at her...

MUGG:

Aye, here 'tis.

GOWDY:

(slightly off) Is she a merchantman, Gonfalon?

MUGG:

Shut yer face, Gowdy, and keep her on course...

GOWDY:

Ahhhh.

MUGG:

What is she...can yer see?

GF:

Can't make her out yet, but...you better wake up the cap'n...

MUGG:

All right...(SFX: FOOTSTEPS FADE OFF)

GOWDY (slightly off) She's comin' up fast, Gonfalon...think she's sighed us? Maybe she's a war vessel...

GF:

(beat) Gor Blimey (Quickly) Here...have a look...Gowdy...have a look...(SFX: WALKS TO THE WHEEL) Tell me what color she is...

GOWDY:

Half a mo'....(beat) Lum-mee...it's red...all red...

GF:

That's what I thought. It's her all right...Bloodthirsty Kate...I knew..(BIZ: CAST REACTS TO BAD NEWS)...I knew we shouldn't have trespassed down here...We're in for it now, and no mistake...

GOWDY:

Shall I put about, Gonfalon? We make a run for it?

BIZ:

CAST AD LIB: "AYE, PUT ABOUT," etc

GF:

I don't know...I've heard she does horrible things to them she captures...and she can beat us...30 guns and more she carries...to our 10.

GOWDY:

Gor...How's about sloshin' Blackton over the head and throwin' him to the sharks, then you take over, Mr. Gonfalon...He's bound to (CAST: AD LIB AGREEMENT)...want to fight, and...

SFX:

STEPS FADE IN FAST

BLACKTON:

(FADING ON) What is it? What is it?

GF:

Starboard, Cap'n...red ship...

BLACKTON:

Blimey! Bloodthirsty Kate. BLOODTHIRSTY KATE! (SFX: HE MOVES OFF A FEW STEPS) (OFF to crew) Ahoy...men! She's bound to be loaded down with ransom. What a prize, eh? What a prize! Bloodthirsty Kate.

BIZ:

ONE OR TWO VERY WEAK "HOORAYS" OTHERS SUBDUED MURMURS

GF:

Heaven help us...Heaven help us....

BLACKTON:

(slightly off) It's what we've been waitin' for, bullys...gold...silver...precious jewels...good rum...

BIZ:

MORE CHEERS, LESS MUTTERING

MUGG:

(Under above) What'll we do?

GF:

(low) (BEAT) MUTINY?

MUGG:

(low) You start it, I'll be with you...

BLACKTON:

Look at her, men...she's too big....too clumsy...we'll rake her across the bow, and giver her a broadside that'll make her strike...

BIZ:

HEARTY CHEERS

BLACKTON:

All right bullys...pass out the cutlasses...pistols...run up the Jolly Roger, and let's have a do.

BIZ:

GREAT CHEERS AND AD LIBS EXCITEMENT UNDER

SFX:

RUNNING STEPS (off) CUTLASSES (off) RATTLING

BLACKTON (OFF) Gun crews to your stations...

BIZ:

CHEERS

GF:

We'll be murdered...the whole ruddy lot of us...that's what. Well, I ain't goin' to do it.

MUGG:

Not me.

GF:

Mutiny!

MUGG:

Right.

BLACKTON (bellowing) Gonfalon...Muggridge...get to your stations afore I cut off yer ears.

GF (calling) Aye, sir...Cap'n...

MUGG:

Aye Cap'n...sir...

SFX:

CANNON FIRE (off) from BLOODTHIRSTY KATE

BLACKTON:

(off) Open fire!

SFX:

CANNON FIRE FROM BLACKTON

BIZ:

CHEERS

MUSIC:

SHORT BRIDGE

SFX:

CANNON FIRE AND SMALL ARMS FIRE

BIZ (female) CAST CHEERS

BANDNG:

She still has not struck her colors, ma capitaine Kate. Shall we give one more broadside and finish the pig?

KATE:

No! We'll board. Is me hat on straight?

BANDNG:

Oui, ma capitaine.

KATE:

Save the captain for me then...I want the pleasure of splittin' him on me sword...

BANDNG:

Aye, ma capitaine...(TURNING TO CREW, SHOUTING) Prepare to board the enemy...Save their captain for Captain Kate.

SFX:

SHIPS BUMP. CLASS OF CUTLASSES. PISTOL FIRE

BIZ (ALL) CHEERS AND GROANS

KATE (bellowing) Keep them off my ship. I don't want the decks all messed up with blood...

SFX:

A WAVE OF CUTLASS SLASHED UP AND DOWN

BIZ:

CAST CHEERS AND GROANS UP AND DOWN

BLACKTON:

(AS HE FIGHTS) Ahoy...Gonfalon...umph! Do you see Bloodthirsty Kate? Umppph!

GF:

(slightly off, fighting) On the poop, Cap'n...on the poop...

BLACKTON:

(sees her) Aye...Aye... (AN EFFORT AS HE CUTS OFF HEAD OF HIS OPPONENT) I wan her for meself afore someone else does her in... (SFX RUNNING STEPS) (YELLING) Ahoy! Ahoy! Yer knock-kneed old daughter of a grampus...get off that poop and I'll slice yer into herring food!

KATE:

(off) Who are you?

BLACKTON:

Captain Blackton! That's who.

KATE:

(fading on quickly) So you're the snivelling fop-doodle who's come poachin' in my ocean, eh? I'll teach yer to muck about with Bloodthirsty Kate....Have at ya!

SFX:

GRAND FIGHT

BIZ:

APPROPIRATE GRUNTS FROM KATE AND BLACKTON. IN B.G. MAIN BATTLE IS OVER. SURVIVORS ARE CHEERING BLACKTON AND KATE.

BLACKTON:

(breathing hard) I've beat them...and...I've loved them...but I never thought....I'd have the pleasure...of...carvin' up a woman...

KATE:

(Fighting hard) Yer greasy bit of blubber...I'll use yer head as a mop to swab the decks when I'm finished with yer...

BANDNG:

(slightly off) Ma capitaine...we have won the day...the ship is ours...your orders?

KATE:

(to Bandinage as she fights) Hold on 'till I finish with...pig-dog here...

BANDNG:

Oui, ma capitaine...

MUSIC:

SHORT BRIDGE

SFX:

(off) CLASH OF CUTLASSES

BIZ:

(OFF) GRUNTS OF BLACKTON AND KATE

GF:

Oh, madame...

BANDNG:

What is it?

GF:

How long is this going to keep up? It's been over an hour...

BANDNG:

Do not worry...Capitaine Kate is tiring your captain...you see how he huffs and puffs?

GF:

I see all right...and I also see, that unless we get off our ship onto yer's, those two'll be fighting up to their necks in water...we be going down.

BANDNG:

Do not concern yourself, mon petite...when your ship sinks...you and all of your men will sink with it. Bloodthirsty Kate does not take prisoners.

GF:

Oh...well. Just thought I'd mention it.

MUSIC:

SHORT BRIDGE AND OUT

SFX:

CUTLASSES ON AND IN BACKGROUND

KATE:

(puffed) I'll say this for yer, yer fat toad...no man's stood up afore Bloodthirsty Kate for this long...in mortal combat...and lived to tell it...

BLACKTON:

(bushed) I...never...had no mortal...combat with no woman...afore...yer rancid old saddle-o-mutton...but there's not been a man fought against me as well nor as long...

SFX:

STEPS FADE ON

BANDNG (slightly off) Ma capitaine...I beg to inform you that our crew has returned to our ship. It is no longer safe to say here...the decks are awash...

KATE:

Hold yer sword a minute, Blackton...

SFX:

CUTLASSES OUT

BLACKTON:

Blimey...S'truth...my poor old tub's done for...she's going down...

KATE:

We'll get aboard my ship, and I'll finish you off there.

BLACKTON:

Oh, no. Rules is rules...When I beat you I take over your ship and your crew...

KATE:

I haven't said you nay to that...

BLACKTON:

But what about me own blinkin' crew...think I want to see them perish afore me eyes, while we fight nice and dry on your ship and they're tied up to drown here like rats?

KATE:

All right. Bandinage...

BANDNG:

Oui, ma capitaine...

KATE:

Take that scurvy lot aboard, and make them take off their shoes first...I won't have me nice clean deck covered all over with nasties, and fetch me another pair of stockings...these has got a rip in them.

BANDNG:

Bien, ma capitaine...it will be as you wish.

KATE:

We'll finish this where it's dry, Blackton...me feet's getting' wet, and I always catch me death of cold when me feet's wet. Come on, afore we have to swim for it.

MUSIC:

IN FOR FIRST ACT/CURTAIN.

ANNCR:

We will return to ROMANCE in just a moment...Where you are Protestant, Catholic, or Jewish...Whether you give through One Great Hour of Sharing, the Bishop's Fund or U.J.A. Passover Appeal, your contribution should bring you double satisfaction. because that contribution is doing a two-fold job. In addition to helping those in need, your gift to any of these fund appeals is a reminder to people around the world that Americans of all religious denominations care about others. In that way, your generosity will not only help alleviate suffering but will act as a good will messenger for the United States.

And now for the second act of Romance!

MUSIC:

SECOND OVERTURE AND OUT

SFX:

EXTERIOR SHIP CREAKS

BIZ (MALE) CAST GRUMBLES ON DECK, SLIGHTLY OFF

BLACKTON (HUGE SNIFFLE) She's gone...sunk to Davy Jones' locker.

KATE:

Aye...

BLACKTON:

She was a good old ship..took her off Madagascar two years ago...she served her time, and well...

KATE:

Are you ready to join her, Blackton?

BLACKTON:

I am not. Rules is rules...until you best me fair, you ain't got no more rights than I have. Them's pirate rules, and you know it.

KATE:

Have I offered to deny it?

BLACKTON:

Matter of fact...this ship and yer whole bloomin' crew belong to me and my crew when I finish with yer...

KATE:

Don't yer worry yer scurvy head about that or anything else, Blackton...When I throw yer carcass overboard, yer crew goes with yer, and that's an end of it...

BLACKTON:

All right, yer fish-faced old hag...we might as well get it over with...do yer worst...

KATE:

Have at ya! (SFX: CUTLASSES FOR A MOMENT)

LOOKOUT (fem) (off) Sail-ho! Sail on the starboard quarter!

BIZ:

(ALL) EXCITED AD LIBS

KATE:

Hold on...Blackton...I got to have a look at this...

SFX:

CUTLASSES OUT

BLACKTON:

What do yer mean...you got to have a look...We got to have a look...I'm captain too, yer know.

SFX:

FEW STEPS

KATE:

Ahoy...Bandinage...can yer make her out?

BANDNG (FADING IN ) It appears to be a warship, ma capitaine...a ship of the line I would venture...

KATE:

Looks like it, don't it...

BLACKTON:

Frigate from the cut of her...

KATE:

And I say...ship of the line...

BLACKTON:

(SNIFFING) Frigate...

KATE:

Well, I ain't hangin' about to find out... (BELLOWING) All hands...make sail...Hoist the main'sl...t'gallants...(mainsail, topgallants)

BLACKTON:

Ahoy...Who are you giving orders?

KATE:

My crew...

BLACKTON:

How about my crew?

KATE:

Put them up with mine...not that they'll be worth an hang...

BLACKTON:

Supposin' me and my crew don't choose to run...supposin' we chose to stay and fight?

KATE:

You off yer nut? There's an whole squadron muckin' about in these waters...suppose that's the leader?

BLACKTON:

Aye, but suppose it ain't...I could do with another ship...and until you finish me off, which you ain't likely to do...seems to me we ought to have a go at yon vessel...

KATE:

I ain't goin' to stand here and argue, Blackton...

BLACKTON:

I've got as much rights as you have...you agreed to that...I'm Captain pro tem...the same as you...

KATE:

What are you gassin' about? "Pro tem"?

BLACKTON (SUPERIOR) That's education, what I have...and what you have not...pro tem...temporarily...for the time being...

KATE:

Well, we ain't goin' to be temporary for long...nor anything else..the Royal Navy's comin' up fast, and if you'd open yer nasty squinty little eyes...you'll see she is a ship of the line...and we're clearin' off...(SARCASM) With yer permission, Captain! (CALLING) Bandinage...we'll steer for Grenada.

BANDNG (off) Aye, aye, ma capitaine...

BLACKTON (DISGUSTED) Gor...30 guns aboard..and afeerd of a great hulk like that...Gor...

MUSIC:

BRIDGE AND OUT

SFX:

SHIP UNDER WEIGH, CREAKS, ETC

KATE (SATISFIED) Well...we won't have to worry about the navy for a bit...I've got the fastest ship in the Caribbean, and that's a fact...

BLACKTON:

We've got the fastest ship (SHOUTING) Ahoy! You at the wheel...keep yer luff...(TO KATE) She ain't no quarter-bloody-master...I'm goin' to put one of my men at the wheel...never seed such carelessness...look at the sails...

KATE:

What's the matter with them?

BLACKTON:

Look at them...that's all..flappin' all over the place like washin' on the line...oh well...what can yer expect with a woman in charge...no discipline...no idea of seamanship...

KATE:

They look all right to me...

BLACKTON:

Call yerself a sailor? Gor...(SHOUTING) Ahoy...Gonfalon...

GF:

Aye, captain?

BLACKTON:

See them sails?

GF:

Aye, sir...

BLACKTON:

What do you think the way they're set?

GF:

It wouldn't be polite to say in front of a lady, sir...

BLACKTON:

Put them to rights...with our crew...not hers...

GF:

Aye, Captain...(SFX: RUN OFF) (FADE OFF CALLING) Blackton's bully boys...aloft to trim sail...let's show them how it's done.

KATE (OVER GONFALON's) I don't hear myself give no orders to do that.

BLACKTON:

No. You heard me. Now look here...something's got to be done about this...and that's a fact. There ain't no ship afloat can be commanded by 2 captains..it ain't in the nature of things.

KATE:

It's my ship...

BLACKTON:

How many times must I tell you...it's our ship...pro tem...until we settle it...either you beat me or I beat you.

KATE:

Well, then I say...let's finish it quick...pistols at 10 paces...how's that for yer?

BLACKTON:

I couldn't be happier...

KATE:

All right...so be it. (SHOUTING) Bandinage! Bring up them duelling pistols what I took off the Spaniard in Panama.

GF:

Duelling pistols! Begging your pardon, Captain, but you can't hit the side of a galleon with no pistol.

BLACKTON:

Hold yer tongue, Gonfalon!

BANDNG (off) Aye, aye, ma capitaine...

BLACKTON:

And how's about a drop of rum afore we begin...I'm fair parched...

KATE (SHOUTING) And Badinage, bring some rum.

BANDNG:

(FURTHER OFF) Aye, ma capitaine...

BLACKTON:

(SATISFIED) Do me the honor of casting your eyes aloft...That's the way to set a sail...I always says it takes a man to do a man's job.

KATE:

Meanin'?

BLACKTON:

Yer a female...and yer crew behaves like a lot of blink' females...though seein' as how they're led by one...it's human nature I suppose.

KATE:

Who defeated who in battle? Who's ship defeated who's?

BLACKTON:

(AIRILY) Oh, that? S'nuthin'...luck...I'll admit..me ship wasn't much..heavy in the head...not enough guns...but it wasn't no seamanship that won for yer...just luck...besides which I had it planned that way...to attack yer, so I could take over yer ship...I had it planned.

KATE:

Gor...you're a ruddy marvel...I never heard such a spoutin' of drivel in me life. When I blow yer head off...I'm goin' to have it mounted in me cabin...so I can look at it, and be happy I was born a woman.

SFX:

STEPS FADE ON

BANDNG (FADING ON) The pistols, ma capitaine..and the rum.

KATE:

All right. Is me hair done up all right?

BANDNG:

Beautiful...charming, ma capitaine...

KATE:

Woman should always look her best no matter what, that what I always say...Come on now, Blackton, have yer last drink, cause the next thing you'll be tastin' is salt water.

BLACKTON:

I'll drink a toast to you then, Kate...yer only a woman...and not much to look at , at that, but you're not afraid to die at the hands of a marksman such as meself. (SFX HE DRINKS)

KATE (ON CUE, WITH SOME RESPECT) Gor...he's got a gullet like an hippopotamus...(TO BLACKTON) Give the bottle over, afore you drain it...

BLACKTON (SIGHING) Ah...that's a lovely drop of rum, that is...

KATE:

Here's to yer, Blackton...I'll have more pleasure doin' you in, then I've had since I strung up the Spanish Admiral at Porto Bello...(GLUGS) Ahhhh....All right...take yer choice of pistols, Blackton...don't make no difference to me.

BLACKTON:

I'll have this one...(SFX: TAKE IT OUT OF THE CASE, COCK IT) All loaded...fair?

KATE:

Course they are...(SFX: COCK HER PISTOL)

BLACKTON:

All right...sure you want to die this way? No hard feelings?

KATE:

No hard feelings...

BLACKTON:

I hate to do it...don't seem fair, somehow...

KATE:

What?

BLACKTON:

I'll admit you're not bad with a cutlass...but...you haven't got a chance with pistols...

KATE:

That's my hard luck then, ain't it...Here, Bandinage...you count for us. Ten paces...

BANDNG:

Ah, oui, ma capitaine...

BLACKTON (SIGHING) It's a shame...

KATE:

What's a shame?

BLACKTON:

That you couldn't have stayed at home like a decent woman...had babies...and been a lovin' wife to some hard workin' man...then I wouldn't be in the dreadful position of havin' to commit cold blooded murder...

KATE:

You wouldn't have minded doin' murder with a cutlass?

BLACKTON:

That's different...that's sportin' like...this is murder...I'll tell yer straight, I don't like it....it gives me the queasies in me belly...

KATE:

Don't worry...I'll shoot you in the belly...it'll make yer queasies feel better...Start counting, Bandinage...

BANDNG:

One...(SFX: STEPS TO MATCH...WITH BLACKTON)...two...three...four...five...six...seven....

BLACKTON:

Stop...stop...(SFX STEPS OUT) I can't do it... I can't, that's all...

KATE (off) What do yer mean...you can't do it?

BLACKTON:

Murder...that's what it is, and Captain Blackton draws the line at murderin' a woman...Here (SFX DROP PISTOL TO DECK) I drop me gun...shoot me...go on...shoot...it ain't in the rules, and you won't have defeated me in honorable combat...but I'd rather you shot me down like a dog, than have to commit murder.

SFX:

KATE'S STEPS FADE ON

KATE (fading on) Listen...yer miserable old barrel of spoiled pork...yer know I can't do that...I'd lose face with me crew...now pick up yer pistol and we'll have another go at it...

BLACKTON:

No...no. Me conscience won't allow it...I look at yer, and I think of me mother...bless her poor dear heart...

KATE:

Blast yer mother, and blast you, Blackton...It ain't right playin' on me sentiments like that...

BLACKTON:

Here...Kate...let's have another drop of rum...and talk this over... (SFX: A FEW STEPS TO BOTTLE) There's got to be another way...

KATE:

Well...there ain't...One of us has got to be captain...and one of us has got to die...It ain't good for the crew...look at them...standin' around like a lot of lost children...Fair makes yer heart bleed.

BLACKTON:

Ah...there...there...see...? That's what yer problem is...children! You got an hidden hunger to fulfill your womanly functions so to speak...they ain't men and women to you...they're children...

KATE:

Have I got to listen to this muck?

BLACKTON:

Here...Have another swig of rum...

BIZ:

SHE DRINKS

BLACKTON:

Kate. I have an idea...

KATE:

What?

BLACKTON:

Suppose we left off tryin' to kill each other.

KATE:

How can we? Somebody's got to be captain...

BLACKTON:

We both would be...

KATE:

You're barmy...Here...Have a swig, yourself...

BLACKTON:

Don't mind if I do... (HE DRINKS) Both of us, Kate...I don't mind admitting...in these past few hours...I've taken a great liking to yer...I have a respect...yer the first woman I've respected since me mother....

KATE:

I accept the compliment in the manner it is given.

BLACKTON:

Well...the crew...the crew, they need a leader...they need a man...and they need a woman...your tender ministrations to keep them happy as children...mind to keep them happy and strong...

KATE (SLOWLY) Blackton...are you suggestin' what I think yer suggestin'?

BLACKTON:

Holy wedlock. Solves the whole problem...

KATE:

Lum-me...

BLACKTON:

Captain and Mrs. Horace Blackton...How does it sound to yer...?

KATE:

Captain Horace, and Captain Kate Blackton sounds better...but I ain't sayin' it'll do...I'll have to think about it...

BLACKTON:

Why don't you...I'm not a bad sort, and I can see you and I could have a bit of fun, what with piracy and all. There's a thousand pounds on my head...

KATE:

There's a thousand on mine too...

BLACKTON:

Well, there you are...We'd be the most famous couple in history...you think about it, Kate...I'd be very proud if you'll give yer consent...

KATE:

With yer permission, Captain, I'll retire to me cabin...me sentiments is all stirred up, and I'd like to gain me composure, so to speak...

BLACKTON:

Yer servent, mum...(CALLING) Ahoy...Bandinage.. help your Captain to her quarters..then come back..I've got orders for yer...

BANDNG (off) Oui, monsieur.

KATE:

Me poor bloody heads all of a swirl, Captain...I do declare...

BLACKTON:

Rest easy, mum...yer servant, mum...

SFX:

HER STEPS GO OFF

BLACKTON:

(CHUCKLES..THEN ROARS WITH LAUGHTER)

SFX:

FOOTSTEPS FADE ON

GF:

(fading on) Everything all right, sir?

BLACKTON:

Everything's lovely, Gonfalon...

GF:

I didn't half get wind up when I seen you startin' the duel with her...She's a dead shot...

BLACKTON:

I know...I know...and I can't hit the side of a elephant at 5 paces...but I couldn't let her know that...it had to be done artful like...(CHUCKLES) and there never was a woman who didn't go all soft when you play on their heart strings...I'm going to marry her, Gonfalon...

GF:

Marry her?

BLACKTON:

That's right...we'll have a ship, her ship...a nice big crew, her crew...and a good cook that'll be her...what more could a pirate ask for?

KATE (COMING ON) Cook is it! I heard that remark. I'll do no cookin' for the likes of you!

BLACKTON:

Kate---now---Kate---listen...

KATE:

I listened---I heard---

SFX:

DRAW CUTLASS

KATE:

HAVE AT YA!

BLACKTON:

Kate! (SFX DRAWS CUTLASS) Well, all right.

SFX:

CUTLASSES

MUSIC:

UP TO FINAL CURTAIN