Generic Radio Workshop Script Library (BACK)

Series: Lux Radio Theater
Show: It Happened One Night
Date: Mar 20 1939

CAST:

The Lux Team
ANNOUNCER, Melville Ruick
CECIL B. DeMILLE, your host
DOT BROWNING
MIDGE BROWNING
HAROLD BURNHAM, Pacific Greyhound Lines bus driver
1ST HAND
2ND HAND

The Leading Players
PETER WARNE, smooth-talking reporter (CLARK GABLE)
ELLIE ANDREWS, runaway heiress (CLAUDETTE COLBERT)
MR. ANDREWS, Ellie's wealthy father
OSCAR SHAPELY, obnoxious bus passenger

The Others
OPERATOR
GORDON, Peter's boss
NEWSBOY
BUS DRIVER
DYKE, of Dyke's Auto Camp
DETECTIVE
BAKER
DOBBS, of Dobbs' Auto Camp
BUS PASSENGERS
WEDDING GUESTS

MFX:

FANFARE

ANNOUNCER:

From Hollywood, California, the Lux Radio Theatre presents Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert in "It Happened One Night"! With Walter Connolly and Roscoe Karns.

MFX:

THEME ... CONTINUES IN BG

ANNOUNCER:

Lux presents Hollywood. Our stars, Clark Gable, Claudette Colbert, Walter Connolly and Roscoe Karns. Our play, "It Happened One Night." Told to the tune of a roaring bus motor, it's the fast-moving story of a runaway society girl and the reporter who helped her run. Our guest is a real-life cross-country bus driver, Mr. Harold Burnham. The music of the Lux Radio Theatre is under the direction of Louis Silvers.

This program comes to you with the good wishes of the makers of Lux Flakes, the world's largest-selling package soap for fine fabrics. Lux is safe; safe for everything; safe in water alone. And it's thrifty. About a penny's worth of Lux, unless the water's hard, does underthings three times. Or stockings four times. Or both a sweater and a dress. In hard water, a little extra Lux gives you wonderful, rich suds. Yes, a little goes so far. Lux is thrifty. Keep the generous large-size box of Lux Flakes in the bathroom, laundry and kitchen, too. Give your things the care they deserve and help your hands stay nice-looking. You'll do that, won't you? (PAUSE) And now, our host and producer. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille!

MFX:

THEME ... UP AND OUT

SFX:

APPLAUSE

DEMILLE:

Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. It happened one night that a husky son was born to Mr. and Mrs. William Gable of Cadiz, Ohio. When the boy grew older, it happened one night that a friend who was an actor invited him backstage to witness a performance of the local stock company. The young man was allowed to peer through a peephole in the curtain, saw a vast bank of upturned, expectant faces, and discovered that it thrilled him -- lured him as irresistibly as Fate itself. Then came a swift and amazing series of ups and downs until at last it happened one night in Hollywood that Clark Gable tossed a coin to decide whether he should continue to fight for a chance in the movies or head for home. The coin fell heads up, and he remained to become one of the most popular stars the screen has ever known. Clark is now working in the David O. Selznick film "Gone With the Wind" and appears tonight through the courtesy of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.

It happened one noon that a pretty young girl was crossing the Paramount lot on her way to lunch when a producer stopped her and asked her how she'd like to play the part of the wickedest woman in the world. Without a second's hesitation, she answered, "I'd love it." I was the producer, Claudette Colbert was the girl, and the picture was "The Sign of the Cross," in which Miss Colbert appeared as Poppaea, the queen who invented the milk bath for beauty. Soon afterward, Frank Capra borrowed Claudette for the leading role in what became one of the great classic romantic comedies of the screen.

And that, roughly, is how it happens tonight that we're presenting "It Happened One Night." [Our stars repeat their Academy Award-winning parts in the Academy Award-winning film, when] Clark Gable plays Peter Warne and Claudette Colbert plays Ellie Andrews. Claudette will be seen shortly in the Paramount film "Midnight" and is currently working in "It's a Wonderful World," a Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer production.

Two other excellent artists also play the same parts they filled so ably on the screen -- Walter Connolly as Mr. Andrews and Roscoe Karns as Shapeley. And now, in the Lux Radio Theatre, the cross country motor bus stands waiting; the oil is checked; the tank is full; and we're ready to start -- with Clark Gable, Claudette Colbert, Walter Connolly and Roscoe Karns. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, "It Happened One Night."

SFX:

BUS RUMBLES DOWN ROAD ... HORN HONKS

MFX:

FOR AN INTRO ... THEN IN BG, OUT AT [X]

DEMILLE:

A bus terminal in Miami, Florida. Passengers are milling about the ticket office, crowding around the newsstand, fighting for places at the lunch counter. In a telephone booth at the far end of the station, Peter Warne, a news reporter, has just put through a long distance call to his paper. [X]

PETER:

Hello? This the New York Globe?

OPERATOR:

(FILTER) Yes, sir?

PETER:

This is Peter Warne talking. I wanna speak to Harry Gordon right away.

OPERATOR:

(FILTER) Who?

PETER:

Gordon, Gordon! The managing editor.

OPERATOR:

(FILTER) Oh, one moment please.

PETER:

(TO HIMSELF) Fire me, huh? I'll show him, the big baboon--

GORDON:

(FILTER) Hello?

PETER:

Hello?! Gordon?!

GORDON:

(FILTER) Yeah.

PETER:

This is Peter Warne!

GORDON:

(FILTER) Well, what of it?

PETER:

Say, what's all this about my being fired?

GORDON:

(FILTER) You got my wire, didn't you?

PETER:

Sure, but--

GORDON:

(FILTER) Well, it goes. You're through.

PETER:

What for?

GORDON:

(FILTER) You know what for. Go on home and sleep it off.

PETER:

What?! Listen here, monkey face. I'm the best news hound your filthy scandal sheet ever had.

GORDON:

(FILTER) Don't make me laugh. What were you doing last night?

PETER:

None of your--! I sent you my copy!

GORDON:

(FILTER) Sure. All about the bathing beauties on Miami Beach. It was lovely. Did you know that Ellie Andrews disappeared last night from her father's yacht?!

PETER:

What?

GORDON:

(FILTER) Ellie Andrews! She disappeared! Did you know that?!

PETER:

No.

GORDON:

(FILTER) Well, that's why you're fired!

SFX:

GORDON HANGS UP

PETER:

Hey, wait!

SFX:

LINE DISCONNECTED

PETER:

Hello?!

SFX:

JANGLES THE HOOK

PETER:

Hello?! (DISGUSTED) Oh...

SFX:

SLAMS RECEIVER DOWN ... PHONE BOOTH DOOR OPENS ... BUS STATION BACKGROUND WITH CROWD NOISE

DRIVER:

(ANNOUNCES) Bus waitin' for Palm Beach, Savannah, Jacksonville, Philadelphia, New York!

NEWSBOY:

Here ya are! Get your newspaper! Read all about it! Wealthy heiress runs away! Here! Read all about it!

PETER:

Hey, boy.

NEWSBOY:

Yes, sir? You want a paper?

PETER:

What's the headline?

NEWSBOY:

Oh, that. That's about a society girl. Her name's Ellie Andrews, and she just run away from her old man's yacht.

PETER:

Ellie Andrews, the banker's daughter, huh?

NEWSBOY:

Yeah. Want a paper, mister?

PETER:

What'd she run away for?

NEWSBOY:

Oh, I don't know. Y'see, she wants to marry some aviator guy and her old man don't want her to, see? So she runs away. And then the old man, he-- Hey, look, why don't you buy a paper? You can read the whole thing for three cents.

PETER:

Who, me? I never read newspapers!

NEWSBOY:

Well, for cryin' out--!

PETER:

Here, here's a dime. Buy yourself an automobile.

NEWSBOY:

Okay! Thanks, mister.

PETER:

Hey, wait a minute. Where do I get the bus to New York?

NEWSBOY:

Right outside the terminal.

PETER:

Thanks.

NEWSBOY:

Hey-o! Get your paper here! Read all about it!

SFX:

BUS STATION BACKGROUND FADES OUT

PETER:

Hey, driver, does this bus go to New York?

DRIVER:

There's a sign on the front. Can't you read?

PETER:

Sorry, but I never got past the fourth grade. Where do I sit?

DRIVER:

That don't worry me any.

PETER:

Okay. If you'll be good enough to move this pile of newspapers, I'll take this seat here.

DRIVER:

Move 'em yourself.

PETER:

Fine.

SFX:

NEWSPAPERS PICKED UP AND THROWN AWAY

DRIVER:

Hey, hey, wait a minute. What do you think you're doing?

PETER:

Huh?

DRIVER:

The papers, the papers! What's the idea o' throwin' them out?

PETER:

Oh, oh, the papers. You know, it's a long story my friend. I never did like the idea of sitting on newspapers. I did it once and all the headlines came off on my white trousers.

DRIVER:

You--

PETER:

No, on the level, it actually happened. Nobody bought a newspaper that day. They just followed me around and read the news off the seat of my pants.

DRIVER:

Ah, fresh guy, huh? What you need's a good sock on the nose.

PETER:

Listen, partner. You may not like my nose but I do. I always wear it out in the open where, if anybody wants to take a sock at it, they can do it.

DRIVER:

Oh, yeah?

PETER:

Now, that's a brilliant answer. Why didn't I think of it? Our conversation could've been over long ago.

DRIVER:

Oh, yeah?

PETER:

If you keep that up, we're not going to get anywhere!

DRIVER:

Oh, yeah?

PETER:

(GIVES UP) Ya got me.

ELLIE:

Pardon me, I want to get by.

PETER:

Yeah, come on through, this is liable to last all night.

ELLIE:

Oh, don't mind me. Thank you.

PETER:

Hey, wait, you can't sit there, that's my seat.

ELLIE:

I beg your pardon?

PETER:

Listen, I'm putting up a stiff battle for that seat, so if it's just the same to you -- scram!

ELLIE:

Driver, are these seats reserved?

DRIVER:

Nah. First come, first served.

ELLIE:

Thank you.

PETER:

Wait a minute, driver. These seats accommodate two people, don't they?

DRIVER:

Well, maybe they do and maybe they don't.

PETER:

Thanks. Move over, sister.

ELLIE:

Ow!

PETER:

This is a "maybe they do."

ELLIE:

Well!

PETER:

There. Ya comfortable?

ELLIE:

Oh, yes, very.

PETER:

That's good. There's nothing like being comfortable when you have two thousand miles to-- Say, haven't I seen you some place before?

ELLIE:

I'm afraid not.

PETER:

Funny, but I think I have. You ever had your picture in a newspaper?

ELLIE:

Never.

PETER:

Not even on the society page? (NO ANSWER) Oh, well, my mistake. But I could have almost sworn I've seen you before.

ELLIE:

Really? Perhaps it was at the livestock show in Chattanooga. I often go there with my old maid aunt from the country. We're simply mad about the merry-go-round.

DRIVER:

Board!

SFX:

BUS ENGINE STARTS UP .... BUS RUMBLES DOWN THE ROAD

MFX:

BRIDGE ... A LITTLE TRAVELING MUSIC ... THEN OUT

ELLIE:

(YAWNS) Oh. Oh, I'm terribly sorry!

PETER:

Oh, that's all right. You have a good sleep?

ELLIE:

Oh, fine, thank you. (SURPRISED) Well - well, everybody's gone! Where are we?

PETER:

Jacksonville. We just got in. [We change buses here and pull out in half an hour.]

ELLIE:

Oh. Oh, it was foolish of me to fall asleep on your shoulder like that. Why didn't you push me away?

PETER:

I hated to wake you up. You look kind of pretty asleep. How about some breakfast?

ELLIE:

Oh, no. Oh, no, thank you. I - I never eat on a bus.

PETER:

You mean you've never traveled on a bus.

ELLIE:

I beg your pardon?

PETER:

[Let it go. But you ought to eat something. You gotta watch out for your health, you know.

ELLIE:

Thank you, I can take care of myself. Excuse me, please, uh, I'm getting out.]

PETER:

Sit down. I want to talk to you.

ELLIE:

Oh, do you?

PETER:

You'll never get away with it, Miss Andrews.

ELLIE:

What are you talking about?

PETER:

I said you'd never get away with it. Your father'll stop you before you get halfway to New York.

ELLIE:

You - you must have me confused with someone else.

PETER:

Quit kidding, it's all over the front page. You know, I've always been curious to know what kind of a girl would want to marry a front page aviator like King Westley. Take my advice and grab the next bus back to Miami. That guy's a phony.

ELLIE:

I didn't ask for your advice.

PETER:

No, that's right, you didn't. Well, I guess I'll step out and send a telegram.

ELLIE:

No, wait! You - you're not going to notify my father, are you?

PETER:

What for?

ELLIE:

You could probably get some money out of him.

PETER:

I never thought of that.

ELLIE:

Now, listen. If you'll promise not to do it, I'll pay you. I'll pay you as much as he will. You won't gain anything by giving me away as long as I'm willing to make it worth your while. And I will! Just as soon as I can get to New York, I'll pay you.

PETER:

Cut it.

ELLIE:

What?

PETER:

I said cut it. You know, I had you pegged right from the start. You're the spoiled brat of a rich father. The only way you can get anything is to buy it. Now you're in a jam and all you think of is your money. It never fails, does it?

ELLIE:

But I--

PETER:

Ya ever hear of the word "humility"? No, you wouldn't. I guess it never occurred to you to just say, "Please, mister, I'm in trouble. Will you help me?" No, that'd bring you down off your high horse for a minute. Well, let me tell you something, maybe it'll take a load off your mind. You don't have to worry about me. I'm not interested in your money or your problems. You, King Westley, your father -- you're all a lot o' hooey to me. So long, Miss Andrews.

MFX:

BRIDGE

SFX:

BUS RUMBLES DOWN ROAD ... CONTINUES IN BG

SHAPELEY:

(FADES IN) Hiya, sister! All alone? I'll keep you company.

ELLIE:

I'm sorry, you can't sit here. This seat's taken.

SHAPELEY:

My name's Shapeley. Might as well get acquainted, it's gonna be a long trip. Gets lonesome later on, especially for somebody like you. You look like you've got class. Yes, sir, with a capital K. And believe me, I'm the guy that knows class when I see it, believe you me. Ask any of the boys, they'll tell ya. Shapeley sure knows how to pick 'em. Yes, sir, Shapeley's the name and shapely's the way I like 'em. Say, what's the matter, sister? You ain't sayin' much.

ELLIE:

It seems to me you're doing excellently without my assistance.

SHAPELEY:

Ha-ha-ha! That's pretty good. "It seems to me you're doing excellently without my assistance." Well, shut my big nasty mouth. Looks like you're one up on me. Now, say, look. You know, there's nothing I like better in this entire world than to meet a [high-class] mama that can snap 'em back at ya. Yes sir, you're just my type. Believe you me, sister, I could go for you in a big way. "Fun-on-the-side" Shapeley they call me and the accent's on the fun. Believe you me!

ELLIE:

Believe you me! You bore me to distraction.

SHAPELEY:

Ha! Looks like you're two up on me now!

PETER:

Hey, you.

SHAPELEY:

Huh?

PETER:

There's a seat over there for you.

SHAPELEY:

What's the idea?

PETER:

I'd like to sit next to my wife, if you don't mind.

SHAPELEY:

Your - your wife?

PETER:

Yeah. Come on, come on.

SHAPELEY:

Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure, [doc]. (MOVING OFF) Excuse me. I was just tryin' to make things comfortable-- [pleasant for her; I didn't know it was your wife. You understand what I mean, don't you?]

ELLIE:

(RELIEVED SIGH) If you'll promise not to snap my head off, I'd like to thank you.

PETER:

Forget it. I didn't do it for you. His voice was getting on my nerves. Hey, your clothes are soaking wet! Did you get caught in that shower back at the last stop?

ELLIE:

Yes. It was a cool shower, too.

PETER:

Here. Take my coat and put it around you.

ELLIE:

Oh, no, no.

PETER:

Sure, go ahead. You're as helpless as a baby.

ELLIE:

Thank you.

PETER:

How'd you happen to get caught in it anyhow?

SFX:

THUNDER

ELLIE:

Well, those things do happen, don't they? I - I just ran into the terminal to buy a box of candy and--

PETER:

Candy? Are you crazy?

ELLIE:

What do you mean?

PETER:

Let me see your purse.

ELLIE:

Oh, please! Now, give me my purse!

PETER:

Hmm! Just as I thought. One dollar and sixty cents. How do you expect to get to New York if you waste your money on candy?

ELLIE:

That's none of your business.

PETER:

You're on a budget from now on. Here's your purse, I'll keep your money.

ELLIE:

Now, just a minute! Just--

PETER:

Shut up. From now on, I'm the boss.

SFX:

BUS SLOWS TO A STOP ... PASSENGERS BUZZ ("Hey, what's going on?" "What's the matter?" "What are we stoppin' here for?") ... CONTINUES IN BG

PETER:

Hey, driver, what's the matter?

DRIVER:

There's a sign there says the bridge at Dawson's been washed out. We might as well put up here for the night.

ELLIE:

But where are we?

DRIVER:

Dyke's Auto Camp. They got cabins here.

PETER:

No chance of getting through, huh?

DRIVER:

Not tonight.

PETER:

That's enough for me. Come on, brat.

ELLIE:

Are you talking to me?

PETER:

Yeah. We're stopping here for the night. (MOVING OFF) Come on, let's go.

SFX:

PASSENGER BUZZ FADES OUT ... TRANSITIONAL PAUSE ... THUNDER ... RAIN, WHICH CONTINUES IN BG

DYKE:

Here's your cabin, Mr. Warne.

PETER:

This one here?

DYKE:

Yes, sir.

SFX:

CABIN DOOR OPENS

PETER:

(CALLS) Come on, kid! This is it!

ELLIE:

(FADES IN) Oh! Oh, I'm dripping!

DYKE:

Well, good night. I hope you and your husband rest comfortably, Mrs. Warne.

ELLIE:

Mrs. Wa--? Oh, yes, thank you.

PETER:

Well, go on in. What are you going to do, stay out here in the rain all night?

SFX:

CABIN DOOR CLOSED AND LOCKED

ELLIE:

Mm hm! Darn clever, these Armenians.

PETER:

Yeah. It's a gift.

ELLIE:

I just had the unpleasant sensation of hearing you referred to as my husband.

PETER:

Oh, yeah, yeah, I forgot to tell you about that. I registered as "Mr. and Mrs."

ELLIE:

Oh, you did? You know, compared to you, my friend Shapeley's an amateur. Just what ever gave you the idea I'd stand for this?

PETER:

Hey, now wait a minute. Let's get this straightened out right now. If you're nursing any silly notion that I'm interested in you, forget it! You're just a headline to me.

ELLIE:

A headline? You're not a newspaperman, are you?

PETER:

Chalk one up for your side. Now, listen. You want to get to your fiancÚ King Westley in New York, don't you? All right, I'm here to help you. What I want is your story. Exclusive. A day-to-day account, all about your mad flight to happiness. I need that story. Just between you and me, I've got to have it!

ELLIE:

(CHUCKLES) Isn't that just too cute? There's brain behind that face of yours, isn't there? You've got everything nicely figured out for yourself. Even including this.

PETER:

This? Oh, oh, you mean the "Mr. and Mrs." business. Well, that's [just] a matter of simple mathematics. These cabins cost two bucks a night. And I'm sorry to inform you, wifey dear, that the family purse won't stand for our having separate establishments. Understand?

ELLIE:

Yes, I guess so.

PETER:

Smart girl. And now we come to the problem of retiring for the night. Uh, which of these, uh, beds do you prefer?

ELLIE:

(UNENTHUSIASTIC) Mm.

PETER:

That one? Take it.

ELLIE:

Thanks. Now that the popularity contest is over, what happens next?

PETER:

Oh, simple. Uh, give me that clothesline over there.

SFX:

CLOTHESLINE TOSSED

PETER:

Thank you. Now, we tie up one end of it here on the wall, like this. (BEAT) Pretty knot, don't you think?

ELLIE:

About average.

PETER:

(OFF) The other end goes over this nail. And we tie it [up] on the opposite wall. So. (MOVING IN) That makes a clothesline extending from wall A to wall B and passing exactly between beds X and Y. Then we take the blanket -- G -- and place it over the clothesline -- AB -- so that you, in bed X, will not be troubled with the disturbing sight of me -- in bed Y. Eh, do you follow me?

ELLIE:

I suppose that makes everything all right.

PETER:

I hope it does. I like privacy when I retire. Hence, the walls of Jericho! Maybe not as thick as the ones that Joshua blew down with his trumpet -- but it's a lot safer. You see, I have no trumpet.

ELLIE:

Well, now that is a relief.

PETER:

And to show you my heart's in the right place, I'll give you my best pair of pajamas. Here.

SFX:

PAJAMAS TOSSED

ELLIE:

Thanks.

PETER:

(UNDRESSING) Now. (CLEARS THROAT) Do you mind joining the Israelites on the other side of our wall?

ELLIE:

(EMBARRASSED) I - I think it might be better. Excuse me.

PETER:

Yeah. That's the stuff, brat. And don't be worried. The walls of Jericho will protect you.

ELLIE:

Would you mind putting out that light?

PETER:

No, not at all.

SFX:

SWITCH CLICKS

PETER:

Turning in?

ELLIE:

Mm hm.

PETER:

(PAUSE, CLEARS THROAT, EMBARRASSED) Say, uh-- Would you mind, uh, taking those things of yours off the walls of Jericho?

ELLIE:

Oh! Oh, I'm sorry. How's that?

PETER:

Uh, better. (PAUSE) Nice, isn't it? Lying here and listening to the rain.

ELLIE:

By the way. What's your name?

PETER:

What's that?

ELLIE:

Who are you?

PETER:

Me? Oh, I'm the whippoorwill that cries in the night. I'm the soft morning breeze that caresses your lovely face. I'm the--

ELLIE:

You've got a name, haven't you?

PETER:

Yeah, I got a name. Peter Warne.

ELLIE:

Peter Warne? I don't like it.

PETER:

Well, don't let it bother you. You're giving it back to me in the morning.

ELLIE:

(CHUCKLES) Pleased to meet you, Mr. Warne.

PETER:

The pleasure's all mine -- Mrs. Warne.

ELLIE:

Good night.

PETER:

Good night.

MFX:

TOPS THE RAIN ... TO A FINISH

SFX:

APPLAUSE

ANNOUNCER:

In a moment, you'll hear Act Two of "It Happened One Night," starring Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert. During our brief intermission, we bring you our favorite family, the Brownings. It's late at night and the girls have come in from a date. They're getting ready for bed, [I hope.]

DOT:

Gee, it was fun tonight, wasn't it, Midge?

MIDGE:

I'll say. You know, Dot, I always sort of envy you when I see you with a crowd of people.

DOT:

Why? What do you mean, Midgey?

MIDGE:

Oh, it's just that you always look so pretty and fresh, and people sort of flock toward you, like you were a magnet or something. They never do that with me.

DOT:

(LAUGHS) Oh, now, Midge, you just imagine it.

MIDGE:

Well, I'm too sleepy to think about it now. (YAWNS) You about ready for bed?

DOT:

Not quite. I've got to Lux my undies first.

MIDGE:

Oh, at this hour? Goodness! Why don't you skip it?

DOT:

Not on your life. Aren't you going to do yours?

MIDGE:

No, I'm too tired.

DOT:

But, Midge, you must!

MIDGE:

Oh, what difference does it make?

DOT:

It's so much nicer putting on fresh things in the morning.

MIDGE:

Well, just this once won't matter.

DOT:

But, Midge dear, you're always saying that. See here, honey, you say you want heaps of friends and parties and fun?

MIDGE:

Oh, yes, I do!

DOT:

Well, believe me, daintiness has a lot to do with that. Here, give me your undies now. I'll Lux them with mine.

MIDGE:

Oh, you angel! I'll do yours with mine both tomorrow night. Honest I will!

ANNOUNCER:

[Oh, girls!] It takes only a few minutes to Lux your things after every wearing. A quick dip in Lux suds removes every trace of perspiration and leaves things fresh and lovely-looking. There is no harmful alkali. Absolutely nothing in Lux to fade colors or hurt fabrics. You can use it safely for anything safe in water alone. So get the generous large-size box of Lux Flakes and Lux underthings and stockings after every wearing -- your dresses, sweaters and blouses, often. This dainty habit means so much to your happiness, helps you stay sweet and lovable -- a woman everyone admires. And now, here's Mr. DeMille.

DEMILLE:

"It Happened One Night," starring Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable. With Walter Connolly and Roscoe Karns.

MFX:

FOR AN INTRO, THEN IN BG

DEMILLE:

It's early the following morning. In the tourist cabin, Peter is setting the table for breakfast as Ellie returns from the showers.

SFX:

CLINK OF DISHES, UTENSILS ... CABIN DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

ELLIE:

(CHEERY) Hello!

PETER:

Morning, wifey. About time you got back.

ELLIE:

Oh, I met some very interesting women at the showers; we got to chatting about this and that; you know how time flies.

PETER:

Mm hm. Come on, come on, come on, sit down. Breakfast's all ready.

ELLIE:

Oh, how nice! Scrambled eggs!

PETER:

(CORRECTS HER) Egg! One egg, one doughnut, black coffee. That's your ration until lunch. Any complaints?

ELLIE:

Nope. No complaints.

PETER:

That's nice, for a change. Er, doughnut?

ELLIE:

Thanks. Mm. You think this whole business is silly, don't you? I mean, running away and everything.

PETER:

Oh, no, no. It's too good a story.

ELLIE:

Yes, you do. You think I'm a fool and a spoiled brat. Well, perhaps I am, although I don't see how I can be. People who are spoiled are accustomed to having their their own way. I never have! I've always been told what to do and how to do it and where and with whom. Nurses, governesses, chaperones -- even bodyguards! (IRONIC) Oh, it's been a lot of fun.

PETER:

One consolation -- you can never be lonesome.

ELLIE:

Mmm, it had its moments. It got to be a sort of a game to try and outwit father's detectives. I did once -- actually, actually went shopping without a bodyguard. It was swell, I felt absolutely immoral. But it didn't last long. They caught up with me in a department store. I was so mad, I ran out the back way and jumped into the first car I saw. Guess who was in it?

PETER:

Santa Claus.

ELLIE:

King Westley was in it.

PETER:

(WITH DISGUST) Oh, for-- Is that how you met him?

ELLIE:

Mm hm. We rode around all afternoon. Father was frantic. By six o'clock, he was having all the rivers dragged.

PETER:

I can see it. (DISAPPROVING) Say. Where did you learn to dunk? In finishing school?

ELLIE:

Aw, now don't you start telling me I shouldn't dunk!

PETER:

Of course you shouldn't! You don't know how to do it! Dunking's an art! Don't let it soak so long! A dip, and -- plop -- into your mouth. If you let it soak so long, it'll get soft and fall off. It's all a matter of timing. I ought to write a book on it.

ELLIE:

(AMUSED) Thanks, professor.

PETER:

Just goes to show you. Twenty millions and you don't know how to dunk.

BIZ:

VOICES, OFF

ELLIE:

I'd change places with a plumber's daughter any day.

PETER:

Shhh! Sh! Sh!

ELLIE:

What's the matter?

PETER:

(WHISPERS) Shut up. Somebody's outside.

DYKE:

(FROM OUTSIDE) Now, just a minute. Now-- Well, how do I know who you are? [I never saw you before.] You can't go around bothering my tenants. Besides, how do I know you're a detective?

DETECTIVE:

(FROM OUTSIDE) Oh, show 'em your credentials, Mac.

PETER:

(WHISPERS) Detectives!

ELLIE:

(WHISPERS) Oh, that's father at work. Peter, what'll I do? Maybe I can jump out of the window. They - they wouldn't see me.

PETER:

(WHISPERS) Sh! Sh! Sh! Come here, come here, come here. Get yourself all mussed up.

ELLIE:

(WHISPERS) What?

PETER:

(WHISPERS) Here, here. Push your hair down over your eyes.

ELLIE:

(WHISPERS) Oh.

PETER:

(WHISPERS) Yeah, yeah, that's it. (LOUD) Yeah, yeah, I got a letter from Aunt Bella last week! She says if we don't stop over at Wilkesbury, she'll never forgive us!

ELLIE:

(WHISPERS) What are you talking about?

PETER:

(WHISPERS) What's the difference? Say something!

ELLIE:

(WHISPERS) Oh! [Oh, I see.]

PETER:

(LOUD) I guess I'll write to Aunt Bella today!

ELLIE:

(LOUD, BAD SOUTHERN ACCENT) Yes, I would if I was you! Letters are always cheerin' to invalids!

SFX:

CABIN DOOR OPENS

PETER:

Yeah! Yeah, she says she's got [the] hay fever again!

ELLIE:

Ya don't say!

DETECTIVE:

(CLEARS THROAT) Excuse me.

ELLIE:

Oh, look! A man, darlin'!

DETECTIVE:

I want to see you, miss. What's your name?

ELLIE:

Are you ad-dressing me?

DETECTIVE:

Yeah! What's your name?

PETER:

Hey, wait a minute! That's my wife you're talkin' to. What do you want anyway?

DETECTIVE:

We're lookin' for somebody.

PETER:

Yeah? Well, look your head off! Only don't come bustin' in here. This ain't a public park. I got a notion to take a sock at you!

DETECTIVE:

Now, take it easy, son, take it easy.

DYKE:

Uh, they're detectives, Mr. Warne.

PETER:

I don't care if they're the whole police department! They can't come bustin' in here and shootin' questions at my wife!

ELLIE:

Now, don't get so excited, Peter! They just asked a civil question!

PETER:

Oh, is that so? Say, how many times do I have to tell you to stop buttin' in when I'm havin' an argument?

ELLIE:

Oh! You don't have to lose your temper!

DETECTIVE:

Now, just a minute--

PETER:

(MIMICS) "You don't have to lose your temper!" That's what you said the other time, too! Every time I trying to protect ya!

ELLIE:

(TEARFUL) Oh, now, keep quiet!

PETER:

I won't keep quiet!

DETECTIVE:

Now, listen, you two--

PETER:

You're just like your old man! Once a plumber's daughter, always a plumber's daughter! There ain't an ounce of brains in your whole family!

ELLIE:

Aw, Peter Warne, you've gone far enough! I won't stand here and be insulted like this!

PETER:

Oh, shut up! Shut up!

ELLIE:

[Oh, no, I won't!] Noooo! (STARTS CRYING, CONTINUES WAILING IN BG)

DYKE:

(TO DETECTIVE) Now, you see what you've done? [You've] disturbed my guests.

PETER:

Yeah, what do you mean by it anyway?

DETECTIVE:

Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Warne, but, you see, we got to check up on everyone. We're looking for a girl by the name o' Ellen Andrews, daughter of the Wall Street king.

PETER:

Yeah? Well, it's too bad you're not looking for the daughter of a plumber!

ELLIE:

(WAILS EVEN LOUDER)

PETER:

(VERY LOUD) Quit bawlin'! Quit bawlin'!

DETECTIVE:

I'm sorry, folks. My mistake.

DYKE:

(MOVING OFF) Well, there, now. Didn't I tell you they was a perfectly nice married couple?

DETECTIVE:

[(MOVING OFF) Well, how would I know--?]

SFX:

CABIN DOOR SHUTS

ELLIE:

(ABRUPTLY STOPS CRYING) Are they gone? ...

PETER:

Yeah. Yeah, they're gone.

BIZ:

PAUSE ... THEN PETER AND ELLEN CRACK UP WITH LAUGHTER

MFX:

BRIDGE

SFX:

BUS RUMBLES DOWN ROAD ... CONTINUES IN BG

ELLIE:

Peter?

PETER:

Hm?

ELLIE:

Peter, wake up!

PETER:

Hm? What do you want? Can't you see I'm tryin' to get some sleep?

ELLIE:

Shapeley's back with us. Did you know that?

PETER:

Sure. What about it?

ELLIE:

Look at him. He's got one of those newspapers with my picture in it. He-- Oh, Peter, I'm afraid.

PETER:

What are you afraid of? Haven't ya still got me with ya? Where did Shapeley get that paper?

ELLIE:

We stopped a few miles back while you were sleeping. He must have got it there.

PETER:

Well, it's too late to do anything now.

ELLIE:

He's looking at me again. Oh, Peter, do you think he's recognizes me?

PETER:

We'll find out soon enough. [He couldn't keep a thing like that quiet if he cut his tongue out. Just sit tight and let things happen.]

ELLIE:

But what'll we do?

PETER:

Wait till the next stop. I'll get him into a conversation outside and if he suspects anything-- Well, we'll see.

SFX:

BUS RUMBLES DOWN ROAD FOR A MOMENT, THEN FADES OUT ... TRANSITIONAL PAUSE ... FADE IN ON CRICKETS CHIRPING ... CONTINUES IN BG

PETER:

Hello, Mr. Shapeley.

SHAPELEY:

Hello. Nice to get out and stretch your legs, ain't it?

PETER:

Yeah, it sure is. I see you got a paper there.

SHAPELEY:

That's right. Maybe you'd like to take a look at it.

PETER:

Yeah. Don't mind if I do. Hmmm.

SHAPELEY:

Hold it here in the headlights and you can read it while you're waitin'. Travelin' like this, you sort of lose track of what's going on in the world. Now, take that story there, for instance, about that Ellie Andrews. If I was to see that dame, you know what I'd do?

PETER:

No. What?

SHAPELEY:

I'd go fifty-fifty with you.

PETER:

Why?

SHAPELEY:

Well, because I don't believe in hogging it all, see? A bird that figures that way, always ends up behind the eight ball, is what I always say.

PETER:

(PAUSE) What's on your mind?

SHAPELEY:

Five Gs or I crab the works.

PETER:

Five Gs, huh?

SHAPELEY:

You heard me.

PETER:

Yeah. You know it's a lucky thing, my running into you. You're just the man I need.

SHAPELEY:

You made no mistake, believe you me!

PETER:

You pack a gat?

SHAPELEY:

Huh?

PETER:

A gat, a gat. A rod. Got any fireworks on ya?

SHAPELEY:

Why, no, I--

PETER:

Well, it's all right anyway. I got a couple of machines guns in my suitcase. I'll let you have one of 'em. May have a little trouble up north. May have to shoot it out with the cops.

SHAPELEY:

Huh?

PETER:

If you come through all right, these five Gs are as good as in the bag.

SHAPELEY:

Yeah, yeah, but, uh--

PETER:

Course, I'll have to talk with the Killer; see that he takes care of you.

SHAPELEY:

The - the Killer?

PETER:

Yeah, yeah, the big boy. The boss of the outfit.

SHAPELEY:

(STAMMERS) Say, you're - you're not kidnapping her, are you?

PETER:

What else, stupid? Say, you don't think we're after that penny ante reward, do you? Ten thousand bucks? (WITH DISGUST) Chicken feed.

SHAPELEY:

Yeah, well, pardon me, mister, I guess I don't want that money after all.

PETER:

Hey, listen, you're in on this thing and you're stayin' in, get me? You know too much.

SHAPELEY:

(STAMMERS) Yeah, but - but - I won't say anything. Honest, I won't.

PETER:

How do I know that?

SHAPELEY:

(BURBLES)

PETER:

I gotta good notion to plug you right now.

SHAPELEY:

No, no, no. You can trust me, mister. [I'll keep my mouth shut.] (STAMMERS) I won't talk, I won't say anything, my wife and my kids-- I--

PETER:

What's your name?

SHAPELEY:

My name? It's Oscar Shapeley.

PETER:

Where do you live?

SHAPELEY:

Orange, New Jersey.

PETER:

Got a couple o' kids, huh?

SHAPELEY:

Yes, sir. Yeah, they're just babies. A little golden-haired girl--

PETER:

You ever heard of Bugs Dooley?

SHAPELEY:

(STAMMERS) Bugs Dooley?

PETER:

Yes, yes. He was a nice guy, just like you. But he made a mistake one day -- got a little too talkative. You know what happened to his kids?

SHAPELEY:

(HOARSE) No.

PETER:

Well, I can't tell ya. But when Bugs heard about it, he blew his brains out.

SHAPELEY:

(WHIMPERS) Oh, gee, that's terrible!

PETER:

Yeah. Now, beat it!

SHAPELEY:

(RELIEVED) Thanks, mister. Can I go back now?

PETER:

To the bus?! Say, what do you think I am? Crazy? You're walkin', see?

SHAPELEY:

Oh. Yes, sir.

PETER:

Come on, come on! Scram!

SHAPELEY:

Sure, sure. Anything you say, mister. You ain't gonna shoot me in the back, are ya?

PETER:

If you don't beat it--!

SHAPELEY:

I'll go, I'll go!

PETER:

Come on, come on, get goin'!

SFX:

SHAPELEY'S HURRIED FOOTSTEPS AWAY ... SLIGHT PAUSE

DRIVER:

All right, folks! All aboard!

PETER:

Hey, wait a minute, driver.

DRIVER:

Come on, get in.

PETER:

Never mind. We're gettin' off here. Me and the young lady.

DRIVER:

What's that?

PETER:

Come on, brat.

ELLIE:

Well, what's the matter?

PETER:

Come on, come on, don't ask so many questions. Here, here, give me your hand.

DRIVER:

Got your suitcase?

PETER:

Yeah, thanks.

SFX:

BUS DOOR CLOSES ... BUS ENGINE ROARS ... BUS RUMBLES OFF DOWN THE ROAD, LEAVING ONLY THE CRICKETS CHIRPING IN BG

ELLIE:

Well. Now that we're stranded in the middle of a country road in the dead of night, maybe you'd let me in on the big secret. What's the idea?

PETER:

The idea? We're going to take a little walk, brat. Mr. Shapeley may shoot off his mouth after all.

ELLIE:

[Well,] where are we going to walk to?

PETER:

The next town, wherever that is. Come on. Pick 'em up and lay 'em down. We've got a long way to go.

MFX:

BRIDGE

SFX:

CHIRPING CRICKETS, AND AN OCCASIONAL BARKING DOG OR HOOTING OWL, IN BG

ELLIE:

Oh, how long does this cross country hike keep up? My feet are killing me!

PETER:

Stop here if you want.

ELLIE:

Here? Where are we?

PETER:

Virginia.

ELLIE:

Well, yes, I know. But where?

PETER:

Oh, I can't say for sure right now but from the looks of that hay rick I guess we're on somebody's farm.

ELLIE:

Where's the farm house?

PETER:

What difference does that make?

ELLIE:

You don't mean we're--? Now, you don't mean we're going to sleep out here in the open, do you?

PETER:

I don't know about you but I'm going to give a fairly good imitation of it.

ELLIE:

(DISAPPOINTED SIGH) Peter?

PETER:

What?

ELLIE:

I'm awfully hungry.

PETER:

Aw, that's just your imagination!

ELLIE:

No, it isn't! I'm hungry and scared.

PETER:

Ya can't be hungry and scared both at the same time!

ELLIE:

Well, I am!

PETER:

If you're scared, it scares the hunger out of ya!

ELLIE:

Not if you're more hungry than scared.

PETER:

[Yeah,] all right, all right. You win. Now, let's forget about it.

ELLIE:

I can't! I'm hungry.

PETER:

Holy smokes! Why did I ever get mixed up with you? If I had any sense, I'd be in New York by this time.

ELLIE:

What about your big story?

PETER:

Taking a dame back to her fiancÚ! I turned out to be a prize sucker, all right.

SFX:

FLUFFING HAY

PETER:

Here, here, your bed's all ready, come on.

ELLIE:

You mean I'm supposed to sleep on that hay?

PETER:

That's the idea.

ELLIE:

(UNCOMFORTABLE) Oh. Oh, it's all crackly.

PETER:

Oh, shut up and go to sleep! I'm sick and tired of listening to a lot of complaints.

ELLIE:

Oh! You know, you're becoming awfully disagreeable lately. You just snap my head off every time I open my mouth! If being with me is so distasteful to you, you can leave. You can leave any time you see fit. Nobody's holding you here. I can get along. I can get along very nicely without you. (NO RESPONSE) Peter, are you listening? I said I can get along very ni-- Oh! Peter? (NERVOUS) Peter?! Peter, where are you?! (TEARFUL) Peter! Oh, Peter!

PETER:

(FADES IN) Hey, what's the matter? Hey, hey, what are you yelling about?

ELLIE:

(CALMS DOWN, RELIEVED) Oh, Pete! Oh! Oh, I was so worried!

PETER:

What got into ya? I was only gone a minute. I went to try to find you something to eat.

ELLIE:

I know, but--

PETER:

Well, here. Here's a watermelon. I swiped it in the next field.

ELLIE:

Huh. I don't want it now.

PETER:

[What? Well,] I thought you said you were hungry!

ELLIE:

I was! But--

PETER:

But what?

ELLIE:

But I was so scared it scared the hunger right out of me.

PETER:

Holy jumpin' catfish! You'd drive a guy crazy!

ELLIE:

I guess--

PETER:

Shut up.

ELLIE:

I was only going to say, I guess you're right.

PETER:

You're darn tootin' I'm right. Now go to sleep and forget about everything.

ELLIE:

Yes, Peter. (PAUSE) Peter?

PETER:

What?

ELLIE:

What are you thinking about?

PETER:

By a strange coincidence, I was thinking of you.

ELLIE:

(PLEASED) Really?

PETER:

Yeah. I was wondering what makes dames like you so dizzy.

ELLIE:

(DISAPPOINTED) Oh.

MFX:

BRIDGE

SFX:

PETER AND ELLIE'S FOOTSTEPS ON DIRT ROAD, OUT AT [X]

PETER:

(HAPPY) Oh, what a morning. Look at the sun! Look at those fields!

ELLIE:

(UNHAPPY) Yes, look at my shoes. [This dirt road is certainly hard on leather.] By the way, what did you say we were supposed to be doing?

PETER:

Hitchhiking!

ELLIE:

Oh. Well, you've giving me a very good example of the hiking. Where does the hitching come in?

PETER:

A little early yet. No cars out.

ELLIE:

Well, if it's all the same to you, I'm going to sit right down here and wait until they come. [X]

PETER:

Suit yourself.

ELLIE:

I intend to. Oh, now, Peter, suppose nobody stops for us?

PETER:

(LAUGHS) They'll stop all right. It's all a matter of knowing how to hail 'em.

ELLIE:

You're an expert, I suppose?

PETER:

I'm going to write a book about it! Call it "The Hitchhiker's Hail."

ELLIE:

There's no end to your accomplishments, is there?

PETER:

Oh, you think it's simple, huh?

ELLIE:

No, no, no.

PETER:

Well, it is. It's all in the old thumb, see? Now, here. Some people do it like this, kind of a half wave and half point with the thumb drooping across the palm. It's all wrong. Too indefinite. Never get any place.

ELLIE:

Oh, the poor thing.

PETER:

Yeah. Yeah, but this old thumb never fails. Now, now, take Number One, for instance. Elbow close to the side, thumb rigid and parallel to the right shoulder. Then a short jerky movement, just the hand and wrist. Like this. ... Shows independence. You don't care whether they stop or not. Ya got money in your pocket, see?

ELLIE:

Clever.

PETER:

Yeah. Yeah, but Number Two, that's a little wider movement from the elbow -- the thumb describing a graceful arc from shoulder to waistline. A smile goes with it, like this. ... That, uh, means ya got a brand new story about the--

ELLIE:

Uh huh. You figured that all out by yourself, huh?

PETER:

Ah, that's nothing. Number Three, that's a pip. Yeah, that's the pitiful one. You know, when you're broke and hungry and everything looks black.

ELLIE:

Oh, is that so?

PETER:

Yeah, yeah. Shoulders saggy, mouth down, chin drooping. It's a long sweeping movement of the whole arm. Like this. ... Ya gotta follow through, though.

ELLIE:

Oh! It's amazing!

PETER:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's no good if you haven't got a long face to go with it.

SFX:

CAR APPROACHES

ELLIE:

Oh, here, here comes a car!

PETER:

Yeah. Okay, okay. Now, watch me. I'm gonna use Number One! Keep your eye on that thumb, baby, and watch what happens.

ELLIE:

Mm.

SFX:

CAR PASSES

ELLIE:

Mm hm. I've still got my eye on the thumb!

SFX:

CAR APPROACHES

PETER:

Something must have gone wrong. I'll try Number Two this time! I--

SFX:

CAR PASSES

PETER:

(CALLS) Hey! You!

ELLIE:

Maybe he doesn't appreciate genius.

SFX:

CAR APPROACHES

PETER:

Well, let's try this baby. Maybe Number Two won't work in the South. (CALLS) Goin' up, mister?!

SFX:

CAR PASSES

PETER:

(CALLS) Hey! (TO ELLIE) I'll try Number Three on the next one!

ELLIE:

When you get to a hundred, wake me up, will you?

SFX:

CAR APPROACHES AND PASSES

PETER:

(DISHEARTENED) I don't think I'll write that book after all.

ELLIE:

(LAUGHS) Oh, now. Think of all the fun you had. Do you mind if I try the next one?

PETER:

You? Ho ho! Don't make me laugh!

ELLIE:

Aw, you're such a smart aleck. Nobody knows anything but you. Look, I'll stop this car and I won't use my thumb!

PETER:

What are you going to do?

SFX:

ANCIENT CAR APPROACHES, VERY SLOWLY, PUTTERING DOWN ROAD

ELLIE:

It's a system all my own. Left hand gracefully on left hip, head back and inclined gently in the direction of travel, eyes twinkling. It's the twinkle that does it. Step aside, please. (CALLS, INVITINGLY) Oh, yoo-hoooo!

SFX:

CAR FINALLY ARRIVES AND SCREECHES TO STOP ... ENGINE IDLES, IN BG

BAKER:

Hello, sister! You goin' my way?

ELLIE:

(TRIUMPHANT) Yes! Thank you very much!

BAKER:

Well, hop right in. My name is Baker.

ELLIE:

Oh, so sweet of you, Mr. Baker. I-- Would you mind if this gentleman rode with us, too?

BAKER:

Who? Him?

PETER:

Yeah, me. I'm--

BAKER:

Well, I don't like his looks any too much, sister.

ELLIE:

Oh, that's all right. He - he's my uncle. He can't help looking like that. He used to be a newspaper man.

BAKER:

Oh. Well, all right. Get in the back.

PETER:

Thanks.

SFX:

CAR DOOR SHUTS ... CAR PUTTERS DOWN THE ROAD ... CONTINUES IN BG

ELLIE:

(QUIETLY) As I was saying -- it's a system all my own.

PETER:

(QUIETLY) Oh, yeah?

ELLIE:

(QUIETLY) Mm hm. I think I'll write a book, too -- let's see -- called, "The Feminine Touch" or "Go Thither with a Come Hither." (GIGGLES)

PETER:

(QUIETLY) Oh, shut up.

ELLIE:

(LAUGHS)

MFX:

BRIDGE

DOBBS:

So you want a cabin for a week, huh?

PETER:

That's right.

DOBBS:

[For you and you wife?

PETER:

That's right.]

DOBBS:

That'll be eight seventy-five.

PETER:

[Sold. Which one?

DOBBS:

Take number four. And] pay in advance.

PETER:

Now, listen, mister, I don't want to talk business right now. We're tired. I'll settle up with you in the morning.

DOBBS:

Well, all right. (MOVING OFF) Good night.

PETER:

Good night! Come on, brat.

ELLIE:

(QUIETLY) What'll you tell him in the morning?

PETER:

(QUIETLY) I'll think of that then.

SFX:

CABIN DOOR OPENS

PETER:

(SIGHS WEARILY)

SFX:

CABIN DOOR CLOSES

PETER:

Here, let's have that blanket.

ELLIE:

Here it is.

PETER:

If I build the Walls of Jericho once more, I can qualify as an engineer.

ELLIE:

Oh, I'm glad I can lie down for a change.

PETER:

Yeah, me, too. Well, we're on our last lap. Tomorrow morning, if all goes well, you'll be in the arms of your fiancÚ -- the dope.

ELLIE:

Mm hm. You'll have a great story, won't you?

PETER:

Yeah. Swell.

ELLIE:

Thanks.

PETER:

Well, you certainly outsmarted your father. I guess you ought to be happy.

ELLIE:

Am I going to see you in New York?

PETER:

Nope.

ELLIE:

Why not?

PETER:

I don't make it a policy to run around with married woman.

ELLIE:

[There's no harm in your coming to see us.

PETER:

Not interested.]

ELLIE:

Won't I ever see you again?

PETER:

What do you want to see me for? I've served my purpose. I brought you back to King Westley, didn't I? That's what you wanted, wasn't it?

MFX:

SNEAKS IN ... ROMANTIC

ELLIE:

Peter, have you ever been in love?

PETER:

Me?

ELLIE:

Yes. Have you ever thought about it at all? It seems to me you could make some girl wonderfully happy.

PETER:

Sure. I've thought about it. Yeah, who hasn't? If I could ever meet the right sort of a girl-- Yeah, but where're you gonna find her? Somebody that's real. Somebody that's alive. They don't come that way any more. You know, I saw an island in the Pacific once, never been able to forget it. That's where I'd like to take her. She'd have to be the sort of a girl who'd jump in the surf with me and love it as much as I did. You know, nights when you and the moon and the water all become one. And you feel you're a part of something big and marvelous. Those are the only places to live. Where the stars are so close over your head that you feel you can reach up and stir them around. Sure, I've been thinking of it. Boy, if I could only find the girl who was hungry for those things.

ELLIE:

(GENUINE) Oh, Peter. Take me with you, Peter. [Oh, please,] take me to your island, I want to do all these things you talked about!

PETER:

You? You're crazy.

ELLIE:

No, I'm not. I love you, [Peter]. Nothing else matters. We can run away; everything will take care of itself. Please, Peter. I can't let you out of my life now. I couldn't live without you.

PETER:

(GENTLY) Ellie. You'd better go over there, and go to sleep.

ELLIE:

(RECOVERS, MOVING OFF) Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.

PETER:

Ellie. Wait a minute.

ELLIE:

(OFF) Good night, Mr. Warne.

PETER:

Ellie? Did you really mean that? About the island? Would you really go?

ELLIE:

(OFF) Certainly not. You think I'm crazy?

PETER:

Yeah, I - I guess I did. Just for a minute.

MFX:

UP AND OUT

SFX:

TRANSITIONAL PAUSE ... COCK CROWS

ELLIE:

Peter? Peter? Peter, where are you? Peter?!

SFX:

CABIN DOOR OPENS

ELLIE:

(CALLS) Peter?!

DOBBS:

Mornin', Mrs. Warne.

ELLIE:

Oh, good morning. Did you see Mister--? Did - did you see my husband?

DOBBS:

Husband? Why, he's gone.

ELLIE:

Gone?

DOBBS:

Yes, ma'am. Left about an hour ago.

ELLIE:

He--? Did he say where?

DOBBS:

Not a word. [But] I heard him callin' long distance. He spoke to a Mr. Gordon at the New York Globe office. Said he had a great story and was goin' right into New York to see him.

ELLIE:

(HURT) I see. Where's the telephone, please?

DOBBS:

I don't think your husband'll be there yet, Mrs. Warne.

ELLIE:

(EXPLODES) Oh, stop calling me Mrs. Warne! I'm not Mrs. Warne! I never will be Mrs. Warne! My name is Andrews. Ellie Andrews.

DOBBS:

(STARTLED, MEEKLY) Yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am.

ELLIE:

Now, where's that phone?

DOBBS:

Over there, ma'am, right over there.

ELLIE:

Thank you.

DOBBS:

(TO HIMSELF) Brr. Ow! Think it was my fault or somethin'. (MIMICS) "My name ain't Mrs. Warne, my name is Andrews. My--" Andrews? Ellie Andrews. Ellie! (CALLS, EXCITED) Oh, Ma, Ma! (MOVING OFF) Come here quick! Ma!

SFX:

TRANSITIONAL PAUSE ... ELLIE DIALS PHONE

ELLIE:

(HOLDING BACK TEARS) I want to call New York, please. ... Yes, person to person. Mr. King Westley. ... Westley! (SPELLING, THROUGH TEARS) W-E-S-T-L-E-Y.

MFX:

TO A FINISH

SFX:

APPLAUSE

ANNOUNCER:

We pause for station identification. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.

MFX:

FOR A STATION BREAK ... THEN OUT

ANNOUNCER:

The curtain falls on Act Two of "It Happened One Night," starring Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable, with Walter Connolly and Roscoe Karns. Mr. DeMille introduces our guest for the evening in a moment. But, first, a word about our product.

You want to cut down on stocking runs, don't you? Then Lux your stockings after every wearing. With these gentle flakes, there's no cake soap rubbing. No harmful alkali to damage the delicate silk threads. Lux saves elasticity and cuts down on runs, helps your stockings wear longer and fit better. And remember this. One large-size box of Lux Flakes, unless the water's hard, will do your stockings for nearly three months. And, in hard water, a little extra Lux makes wonderful, rich suds. Yes, a little goes so far. Lux is thrifty.

And now, here's Mr. DeMille with our bus-driving guest.

DEMILLE:

Since a cross country bus carries so much of the action of tonight's play, we're bringing you a typical pilot of these streamlined stagecoaches. He's Harold Burnham of the Pacific Greyhound Lines. After driving buses for thirteen years and over a million and a half miles without an accident, he's learned that he's required to do more than just "get 'em there on time." He must be a diplomat, information bureau, nursemaid, counselor and guardian. And, at times, even a motion picture actor.

BURNHAM:

Yes. They used one of our buses in the picture "It Happened One Night," and they happened to pick me to drive in a few of the scenes. But I guess I'd sooner be a bus driver than an actor. You meet so many interesting people.

DEMILLE:

As interesting and romantic as the Ellie Andrews and Peter Warne of our play?

BURNHAM:

I should say so. There's something about a bus that encourages romance. It even affects the hack hands themselves.

DEMILLE:

Hack hands?

BURNHAM:

Oh, that's our name for a driver. I'm one of the very few hack hands who didn't first meet his wife as a passenger. And there's a romantic angle about my favorite passenger. Five years ago, on my regular run to Fresno from Los Angeles, a young couple met on my bus and just a year later they were back again, this time as husband and wife. They've been coming back every year on May the fifteenth to take the trip over again. Sentimental, but nice. I feel sort of responsible. ...

DEMILLE:

(CHUCKLES) From a hack hand's viewpoint, Mr. Burnham, what constitutes an ideal bus trip?

BURNHAM:

A solid load with plenty of chinners. By chinners, I mean "talkers." That is, we like a bus full of people who like to talk. That makes the trip go quicker and the passengers enjoy themselves more.

DEMILLE:

Well, while you're in a translating mood, will you explain what those headlight signals are that you often exchange on the highway with other buses and trucks?

BURNHAM:

Well, if we want to warn a bus or a truck coming the other way they're about to run into a bad piece of road, we flash them three times with the spotlight. If there's a cop ahead who doesn't like us, we give two flashes. ... But I'm glad to say that most cops and hack hands get along swell. And the same goes for reapers. Reapers are big trucks. It's the road hog and fruit haulers, or small trucks, that keep our nerves on edge and our feet on the corks. Corks being our name for brakes.

DEMILLE:

What turned you into a bus driver, Mr. Burnham, and what's keeping you at it?

BURNHAM:

Well, it's pretty exciting, Mr. DeMille. I really mean that -- because I quit the Army Air Corps to take my present job. There's something about it that gets you. You're out in the open all the time and more or less on your own and always on the move. And I guess I like people. Little kids traveling alone. Strangers who need help. And even the lady who once come aboard with the stork and was presented with a fine baby boy right on the bus. ... Yes, sir. You got to be prepared for any emergency. ... But I guess I better put the corks on myself and let the people hear some more from two swell people, Mr. Gable and Miss Colbert. Thanks a lot.

DEMILLE:

Drive on, Mr. Burnham, and good luck to you.

SFX:

APPLAUSE

DEMILLE:

Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert in "It Happened One Night," with Walter Connolly and Roscoe Karns.

MFX:

A SAD, GENTLE INTRO ... THEN IN BG, OUT AT [X]

DEMILLE:

The thread of an accidental meeting which bound the lives of Ellie and Peter has become a tangled knot. Ellie is convinced that Peter walked out on her and has given him no chance to explain. It's a week later, the morning of Ellie's marriage to King Westley. The bride-to-be sits alone in her room, staring mournfully at her reflection in the glass. Her father knocks at the door. [X]

SFX:

KNOCK AT DOOR

ANDREWS:

(OFF) Ellie? Ellie?!

ELLIE:

Yes, dad?

ANDREWS:

(OFF) May I come in?

ELLIE:

Come in.

SFX:

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

ELLIE:

Hello, dad.

ANDREWS:

I knocked several times.

ELLIE:

Oh, I'm sorry. I must have been daydreaming.

ANDREWS:

Yes. Well. Everything's set for the wedding. Great stunt King is going to pull, creating quite a furore.

ELLIE:

Stunt?

ANDREWS:

Yes, landing on the lawn in an autogyro.

ELLIE:

Oh. (UNENTHUSIASTIC) Oh, yes, I heard.

ANDREWS:

Mm, yes. Personally, I think it's silly, too. You look lovely, child. Are you pleased with the gown? (NO ANSWER) Ellie?

ELLIE:

Hmm? Oh, the - the gown? Yes, it's nice, isn't it?

ANDREWS:

What's the matter, child? What's wrong?

ELLIE:

Nothing.

ANDREWS:

You haven't changed your mind about King Westley, have you?

ELLIE:

No.

ANDREWS:

Because if you have, it isn't too late. You know how I feel about him. But you gave me such a scare when I couldn't find you. You know, the old pump isn't what it used to be.

ELLIE:

I'm sorry, father. I wouldn't hurt you for the world.

ANDREWS:

What's the matter, child? Aren't you happy?

ELLIE:

(STARTS TO CRY) Oh, dad-- (CONTINUES TO WEEP IN BG)

ANDREWS:

Ahh, I thought so. I knew there was something on your mind. Aw, there, there, there now. What's the matter? You haven't fallen in love with someone else, have you? Have you? I haven't seen you cry since you were a baby. This must be serious. Where did you meet him?

ELLIE:

On the road.

ANDREWS:

Now, don't tell me you've fallen in love with the bus driver? ...

ELLIE:

No.

ANDREWS:

Who is he?

ELLIE:

I - I don't know very much about him. Except-- Except that I love him.

ANDREWS:

Well, if it's as serious as all that, we'll move heaven and earth to--

ELLIE:

No! No, it's no use. He despises me.

ANDREWS:

Oh, come now, come now.

ELLIE:

Yes, he does. He despises everything about me. He thinks that I'm spoiled and selfish and pampered and thoroughly insincere.

ANDREWS:

Ridiculous!

ELLIE:

He doesn't think much of you either. ...

ANDREWS:

Oh? No?

ELLIE:

No. He blames you for everything that's wrong with me! He says you raised me stupidly. Oh, he's marvelous! ...

ANDREWS:

Well, [what are we going to do about it?

ELLIE:

I don't know.]

ANDREWS:

I'd like to have a talk with him.

ELLIE:

Oh, no, daddy, it wouldn't do any good. I practically threw myself at him.

ANDREWS:

Well, under the circumstances, don't you think we ought to call this wedding off?

ELLIE:

No. No, I'll go through with it. What difference does it make? I'll never see Peter again.

ANDREWS:

Is that his name?

ELLIE:

Yes. Peter.

ANDREWS:

Peter Warne?

ELLIE:

Yes! Do you know him?

ANDREWS:

No, not exactly.

ELLIE:

Oh, father, you haven't heard from him, have you?

ANDREWS:

I, er-- Well, this letter came this morning, addressed to me.

ELLIE:

From Peter?

ANDREWS:

Yes. Here you are.

SFX:

OPENS LETTER

ELLIE:

(READS, EAGERLY AY FIRST, THEN DISAPPOINTED) "Dear sir! As your daughter has probably forgotten to tell you, there's a little financial matter connected with her safe return to your indulgent arms that I would appreciate your settling with me at your earliest convenience. Yours truly, Peter Warne." Oh. Well, I - I guess that was his only interest in me, wasn't it? The reward. Ten thousand dollars.

ANDREWS:

I'm sorry you read it.

ELLIE:

Are you going to see him?

ANDREWS:

Yes. As a matter of fact, I sent word to him to come out here this afternoon. I suppose he'll show up soon.

ELLIE:

(BITTER) Oh, of course he will. Well, pay him off. He's entitled to it. He did an excellent job. He kept me thoroughly entertained. It's worth every penny he gets.

MFX:

BRIDGE

ANDREWS:

Sit down, Mr. Warne.

PETER:

Thanks.

ANDREWS:

I was surprised to get your note. My daughter hadn't told me anything about you. About your helping her.

PETER:

That's typical of your daughter. Takes all those things for granted.

ANDREWS:

I've discussed the matter with her since hearing from you and she thinks you're entitled to anything you can get.

PETER:

Oh, she does, huh? Now, isn't that sweet of her? Well, I've got it all itemized.

ANDREWS:

May I see the statement, please? Thank you. (READS) "Cash outlay, eight dollars and sixty cents. Top coat, fifteen dollars. Suitcase, seven dollars and fifty cents. Hat, four dollars. Three shirts, four dollars and fifty cents. Total, thirty-nine dollars and sixty cents. All the above items had to be hocked to provide food and shelter."

PETER:

And I sold some shorts and socks, too, but I'm throwin' them in. ...

ANDREWS:

Yes. I know, but--

PETER:

What's the matter? Isn't it cheap enough? A trip like that'd cost you a thousand dollars, maybe more.

ANDREWS:

Now, let me get this straight. You want thirty-nine dollars and sixty cents in addition to the ten thousand?

PETER:

What ten thousand?

ANDREWS:

Why, the reward.

PETER:

Who said anything about a reward? All I want is thirty-nine sixty! Now, if you give me a check for it, I'll get out of this joint. Gives me the jitters.

ANDREWS:

You're a peculiar chap.

PETER:

We'll go into that some other time.

ANDREWS:

The average man would go after the reward. All you seem to be--

PETER:

Listen. Did anyone ever make a sucker out o' you? This is a matter of principle. Something you probably wouldn't understand. But when anybody takes me for a buggy ride, I don't like the idea of having to pay for the privilege.

ANDREWS:

Were you taken for a buggy ride?

PETER:

With all the trimmings.

ANDREWS:

My daughter seems to think she was on that ride, too. She thinks you walked out on her.

PETER:

Listen, your daughter can think anything she wants. I went to New York to raise a little dough for your daughter so - so that she could go out on that tropical island, and what do I get?

ANDREWS:

What tropical island?

PETER:

None of your bus--! Well, when I come back to get her, she's skipped. And that's great, isn't it?

ANDREWS:

Now, wait a minute--

PETER:

What about my dough? Do I get it or don't I?

ANDREWS:

Certainly.

PETER:

Thank you.

ANDREWS:

But I'd like to ask you one question. Do you love my daughter?

PETER:

Any guy that'd fall in love with your daughter ought to have his head examined!

ANDREWS:

That's an evasion. Do you love her?

PETER:

A normal human being couldn't live under the same roof with her without going nutty! She's my idea of nothing!

ANDREWS:

I asked you a simple question! Do you love her?

PETER:

YES! ... But don't hold that against me, I'm a little screwy myself. ...

SFX:

DOOR OPENS

ELLIE:

(FADES IN) Well, well, well! Look who's here.

PETER:

Hello. I was hoping I wouldn't have to bump into you.

ELLIE:

Really? I hope you got your money.

PETER:

You bet I did.

ELLIE:

Congratulations.

PETER:

Thanks, same to you.

ANDREWS:

Ellie dear--

ELLIE:

Stay around and watch the fun! King is going to drop down out of the skies any minute now in his favorite gyro. You'll enjoy it immensely.

PETER:

I would but I've got a weak stomach. (MOVING OFF) Goodbye, Mr. Andrews.

SFX:

DOOR SLAMS SHUT

ELLIE:

Pleasant fellow, isn't he?

ANDREWS:

Ellie dear, you shouldn't have talked to him like that. He's really a fine boy. We had quite a conversation.

ELLIE:

I'm not interested.

ANDREWS:

Now, see here, Ellie--

ELLIE:

I tell you, I'm not interested. I don't wanna hear another word about him!

SFX:

AUTOGYRO ENGINE ... WEDDING CROWD MURMURS

ANDREWS:

(MOVING OFF) What on earth is that?

ELLIE:

King, I guess. Landing on the lawn in his gyro.

ANDREWS:

(OFF) Seems to be creating quite a lot of excitement among the guests. (CLOSER) Well, Ellie?

ELLIE:

(RESIGNED) Come on, dad. Let's go down and get it over with.

SFX:

AUTOGYRO ENGINE AND WEDDING CROWD FADE OUT

MFX:

SOMBER VERSION OF "HERE COMES THE BRIDE" FOR A MOMENT ... CONTINUES IN BG

ANDREWS:

King is waiting at the altar. All right. Take my arm. Let's go.

SFX:

ELLIE AND ANDREWS SLOW FOOTSTEPS, FOR A MOMENT, THEN IN BG

ANDREWS:

You know, Ellie, you're a sucker to go through with this. That guy Warne is okay.

ELLIE:

Please, dad.

ANDREWS:

He is. He didn't want the reward. All he asked for was thirty-nine dollars and sixty cents that he spent on you.

ELLIE:

What?

ANDREWS:

Sure. He loves you, Ellie.

ELLIE:

How do you know?

ANDREWS:

(WHISPERS) He told me so.

ELLIE:

(OVERCOME) Oh, Daddy. Oh. (RESIGNED SIGH) Well, it's too late now.

ANDREWS:

Is it? You don't want to be married to a mug like Westley. I can buy him off for a pot of gold. And you can make an old man happy. Pete Warne is a swell guy--

ELLIE:

(READY TO CRY) Oh, please, please, don't.

ANDREWS:

If you [should] change your mind, your car's waiting at the back gate. What do you say, Ellie? You've still got a few seconds.

ELLIE:

(WHISPERS) Oh, dad!

ANDREWS:

Is it Pete? Or is it this dumb cluck of an aviator?

ELLIE:

(EXHALES) It's - it's Pete!

ANDREWS:

(QUIETLY) Hurray!

ELLIE:

Oh, Daddy, kiss me quick.

ANDREWS:

Goodbye, Ellie.

ELLIE:

Goodbye.

SFX:

ELLIE'S HURRIED FOOTSTEPS AWAY ... CROWD REACTS, CONFUSED

ANDREWS:

(CALLS) Run, Ellie, run! Go on, Ellie, go on! They'll never catch you! (LAUGHS MERRILY) Go on! Go on!

SFX:

CROWD FADES OUT

MFX:

"HERE COMES THE BRIDE" FADES OUT

SFX:

TRANSITIONAL PAUSE ... CAR ENGINE FADES IN, CONTINUES IN BG

ELLIE:

Peter!

PETER:

Mm hm?

ELLIE:

What did you do with the marriage certificate? I can't find it any place.

PETER:

Don't worry, brat. It's safe and sound in my inside pocket.

ELLIE:

(RELIEVED SIGH) I was getting scared again.

PETER:

(AMUSED) Hm. Afraid I was going to back out?

ELLIE:

(LAUGHS) It's too late now, Mr. Warne. Oh, Peter, I'm so happy! Where are we going for our honeymoon?

PETER:

I got the place all picked out. A tourist cabin, near Philadelphia.

ELLIE:

A tourist cabin?! (LAUGHS) Oh, oh, Peter that's grand!

PETER:

Yeah, yeah. See that big bundle of stuff I bought in the last town?

ELLIE:

Uh huh. What's in it?

PETER:

Ohhh, lots of things. A rope.

ELLIE:

A rope?

PETER:

Yeah. And, uh, a green blanket.

ELLIE:

The walls of Jericho!

PETER:

Right.

ELLIE:

(LAUGHS) Is there anything else?

PETER:

Yeah. Hand me that little package.

ELLIE:

This one?

PETER:

That's it.

ELLIE:

What's in it?

SFX:

PACKAGE UNWRAPPED

PETER:

You'll see. There.

ELLIE:

A trumpet? A toy trumpet!

PETER:

Yeah. I never took a lesson but I guess I can manage it. Listen to this.

MFX:

PETER BLOWS ON TOY TRUMPET

ELLIE:

(LAUGHS) Oh, Peter, it's beautiful!

MFX:

TO A TRIUMPHANT TRUMPET FINISH

SFX:

APPLAUSE

ANNOUNCER:

The curtain falls on Act Three of "It Happened One Night," starring Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable. In a moment, you'll hear from our stars personally. But, first, let's indulge in a little fancy. Suppose your hands could talk. What would they say? Let's imagine Jane's hands are talking to each other while she's playing cards with her friends at the bridge table.

1ST HAND:

Isn't it fun? We fooled those women again.

2ND HAND:

Haven't we, though? They think Jane has a maid.

1ST HAND:

(LAUGHS) It's a great joke, isn't it? Why, we've been washing dishes for years!

2ND HAND:

And no one would guess it! Lux Flakes help us to stay lovely-looking.

ANNOUNCER:

Yes, I'm sure that is the way your hands would talk, if you used Lux for your dishes. Lux Flakes are kind to your hands. There's no harmful alkali to dry out the natural oils in your skin. No, indeed. Lux helps your hands stay soft and pretty, the kind of hands every woman wants. Just try Lux Flakes for your dishes. You'll like them. They're fast, they're gentle, and they're thrifty. Yes, unless the water is hard, the large-size box of Lux will do dishes about sixty times. In hard water, a little more Lux gives you wonderful, rich suds. Yes, a little Lux goes so far. Lux is thrifty. Buy the generous large-size box, won't you? (PAUSE) And now, here's Mr. DeMille with our stars.

DEMILLE:

The happy journey from Miami to New York has ended, but our stars make a return trip to the microphone. We present Ellie Andrews as Claudette Colbert and Pete Warne as Clark Gable.

COLBERT:

As Claudette Andrews or Ellie Colbert, or whoever I'm supposed to be, I'd like to say that it's been great to do another play in the Lux Radio Theatre.

GABLE:

As Pete Gable, I'd like to say I can't imagine a better place to take a busman's holiday.

DEMILLE:

(CHUCKLES) Assuming my most difficult characterization, that of Cecil B. DeMille, I'd like to compliment you both on a great performance.

COLBERT:

Thank you, C. B. And I'm glad to learn from your introduction to the play that you're a fatalist.

DEMILLE:

Yeah-- Er, what?!

GABLE:

[Seems to me I heard the word "fatalist."] Yeah, you know, C. B., one of those people who think that everything happens for the best, if it doesn't happen for the worst.

DEMILLE:

But I - I never said I belonged to such a cult.

GABLE:

Well, Claudette probably assumes, from the way you talked about everything "happening one night," that you're a believer in uncontrollable destiny.

COLBERT:

Well, it's really nothing to be ashamed of, you know. [Some very nice people are fatalists.] You simply believe that everything happens for a purpose. And if you don't believe that way, you've nothing left but suppositions. Now, for example, suppose Columbus had sailed east instead of west. Or Paul Revere's horse had tripped over a cobblestone!

DEMILLE:

Or suppose Claudette Colbert hadn't taken seriously a playwright's remark that she ought to be an actress. Or suppose she hadn't starred on Broadway in "The Barker." Would she be in Hollywood now?

COLBERT:

Or suppose that coin Clark tossed to see whether or not he'd remain in Hollywood had fallen tails. Where would he be now?

DEMILLE:

[Well, children,] I give up. Where would he be now?

GABLE:

You mean seriously?

COLBERT:

Sure. Why not?

GABLE:

Well, let's see. I'd've gone back east. Not all the way east. Maybe I'd've stopped off in Texas again. I'd probably have gotten my old job back in the oil fields and, well, I'd probably be fairly happy.

COLBERT:

That's right. "Pollyanna" Gable his friends would be calling him. [Well, come along, Clark. It's time to blow.] Well, it's time to go, Clark. Good night, Mr. DeMille.

GABLE:

Good night, C. B.

DEMILLE:

Good night, fatalists.

SFX:

APPLAUSE

ANNOUNCER:

Mr. DeMille will be back shortly with news of next Monday night's play and cast. Our cast in "It Happened One Night" included John Gibson as Bus Driver, Chester Clute as Mr. Dyke, Eddie Waller as Mr. Dobbs, Lou Merrill as Harry Gordon, Walter Tetley as a newsboy, Marion Aye as Telephone Operator, and Frank Nelson as a detective. Walter Connolly appeared through courtesy of Columbia Pictures and Harry Cohn. Louis Silvers is from Twentieth Century-Fox Studios where he directed music for the new film "Alexander Graham Bell." (PAUSE) Here's Mr. DeMille.

DEMILLE:

Hollywood recently observed its most important event in many months, the presentation of the Academy Awards, the highest tribute that the screen can give its personalities. For the second consecutive year, top acting honors, among men, went to the star whom you'll hear on this stage next Monday night -- Spencer Tracy. And, with him, we present one of the screen's loveliest ladies, Loretta Young. They'll bring Lux listeners the sharply realistic and romantic play for which they're so well-remembered on the screen, "A Man's Castle."

MFX:

THEME ... CONTINUES IN BG

DEMILLE:

Our sponsors, the makers of Lux Toilet Soap, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night, when the Lux Radio Theatre presents Spencer Tracy and Loretta Young in "A Man's Castle."

And, ladies and gentlemen, before I say good night, I want you to make a special mark on your calendar so you'll be sure to remember tomorrow night. Because it happens that, tomorrow night, our good friend Dick Powell, is going to make his bow as master of ceremonies of the big, lively Tuesday Night Party over the Columbia network. Dick is a talented singer, a fine actor and a real trouper whose versatility will add new pleasure to what I am sure is now one of your favorite programs. Your old friends Martha Raye and Parkyakarkus will be on hand, too, as well as a very special guest star, that past master of comedy, W. C. Fields. So don't forget to listen tomorrow night and you'll hear a big program of sparkling comedy and music. And Dick Powell deserves a warm welcome.

This is Cecil B. DeMille saying good night to you from Hollywood.

SFX:

APPLAUSE

ANNOUNCER:

[Your announcer has been Melville Ruick.] This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.

SFX:

APPLAUSE CONTINUES ... THEN FADES OUT

MFX:

LUX THEME CONTINUES TO END