Lucky Strike Hour
The Modern Baron Munchausen: Christmas
Date: Dec 22 1932
CAST:
HOWARD CLANEY, host
ABE LYMAN, orchestra leader
BARON MUNCHAUSEN, German-accented comedian (JACK PEARL)
CHARLEY, his straight man (CLIFF HALL)
The LUCKY STRIKE DANCE HOUR
60 Modern Minutes with the world's finest Dance Orchestras
and Famous LUCKY STRIKE News Features
TUESDAY . THURSDAY . SATURDAY
10 to 11 P. M. ... WEAF and
ASSOCIATED NBC STATIONS
"LUCKIES are always kind to your throat."
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 22, 1932
(MUSICAL SIGNATURE)
HOWARD CLANEY: Ladies and gentlemen, the LUCKY STRIKE Hour presented for your pleasure by the manufacturers of LUCKY STRIKE Cigarettes - sixty modern minutes with the world's finest dance orchestras, and the famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills .....
Tonight is Jack Pearl night and we promise that if you hang up your Christmas stocking on your loud speaker, the Baron will fill it full of laughs ..... He'll be here shortly, so let's not delay .... we flash the Magic Carpet to Abe Lyman who starts the music with a wave of his baton ....
ON WITH THE DANCE, ABE LYMAN..(WHISTLE)..OKAY, AMERICA!
ABE LYMAN: Good evening everybody - this is Abe Lyman inviting you all to dance to -- (TITLES)
(________)
(________)
(________)
(________)
(________)
ABE LYMAN: Back to the Pilot speeds the Magic Carpet.
(WHISTLE) OKAY, NEW YORK!
HOWARD CLANEY: Thank you, Abe! That was fine music, wasn't it, folks?
I expect a number of you still have a lot of last-minute Christmas shopping to do. If you dread the crowds and rush of these last two days, take advantage of a service which the makers of LUCKY STRIKE Cigarettes are glad to offer you. Just go around to your neighborhood cigarette dealer .... ask for those beautiful, specially designed Christmas cartons of LUCKY STRIKE Cigarettes - and there is your last-minute gift problem solved for you! It's an easy and pleasant way to go Christmas shopping -- and what a joy it is to give your friends these delightful Christmas cartons. You folks who know the great enjoyment there is in LUCKY STRIKE, know how well those delicious, mellow-mild LUCKY STRIKE tobaccos will express your "Merry Christmas" -- each flavorful LUCKY made truly mild by the exclusive "TOASTING" Process. Remember - these beautiful Christmas cartons of LUCKIES are offered to you without extra cost -- and it's a real joy to your friends to receive a Christmas carton of LUCKIES -- the mildest of all cigarettes.
Now out of the wings steps Mr. LUCKY STRIKE'S Santa Claus who seems to bear a striking resemblance to Jack Pearl. He's even got with him Cliff Hall, whom you all know as "Sharley" and the pack he is carrying is filled to the brim with laughter. Ladies and gentlemen, we present Santa Claus' chief assistant ..... none other than the famous Baron Munchausen!
(FIRST PART -- "CHRISTMAS") [...]
BY WILLIAM K. WELLS [...]
(THE BARON COMES UP TO THE MICROPHONE LAUGHING)
CHARLEY: You seem very happy tonight, Baron.
BARON: That's the only way to be, Sharley. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and -- nobody listens in.
CHARLEY: That, Baron, has proven an unrefuted maxim.
BARON: ...........Hello?
CHARLEY: A proverbial saying embodying a practical precept.
BARON: .........We're off!
CHARLEY: Make life a merry-go-round of merry making, merry moments! Merry thoughts!
BARON: Merry Christmas!
CHARLEY: Thanks Baron. The same to you.
BARON: Which reminds me. I got a little Christmas present in my pocket for you.
CHARLEY: Why, Baron, I don't want any --
BARON: Sch. Please! It's a check for five hundred dollars--
CHARLEY: Five hundred dollars!
BARON: Yes -- and next year if you're as nice as you've been this year ---- I'll sign it!
CHARLEY: Well, thanks, just the same for thinking of me.
BARON: I was only fooling, Sharley. You'll find something in your stocking besides holes.
CHARLEY: Last Christmas I hung up my sox and the next morning I found twenty five dollars in them.
BARON: That's nothing! Last Christmas I hung up my pants --
CHARLEY: You hung up your pants?
BARON: Yes - and the next morning I found my wife's brother in them.
CHARLEY: Are you giving many presents this year, Baron?
BARON: Many? Zixteen thousand!
CHARLEY: Sixteen thousand presents! I can't believe it!
BARON: All right - twelve thousand.
CHARLEY: I'm sorry, Baron, but I still don't believe it.
BARON: Ten thousand.
CHARLEY: I won't believe it.
BARON: Would you believe five?
CHARLEY: No, I would not.
BARON: So I'll go back to zixteen!
CHARLEY: All right, have it your way.
BARON: The first on the list is my wife.
CHARLEY: Naturally.
BARON: She wants a Russian stable.
CHARLEY: A Russian Sable.
BARON: Sure -- Second on the list is my wife.
CHARLEY: You said your wife was first.
BARON: She's second too. She wants also a limousine, a roadster, a diamond bracelet, and a string of pearls.
CHARLEY: My word! And then - who comes after your wife?
BARON: The Sheriff.
CHARLEY: Why, Baron, would you give your wife all those beautiful presents and then let a sheriff take them away?
BARON: Certainly not! ---- That's why I'm not going to give them to her. To tell the truth, Sharley, I don't know what to get her.
CHARLEY: Is she fastidious?
BARON: .......Could you come closer?
CHARLEY: I said is your wife fastidious?
BARON: She was - but she went on a diet.
CHARLEY: You don't understand, Baron. I mean would she look a gift horse in the mouth?
BARON: ......who said I'm going to give her a horse?
CHARLEY: Let's change the subject .... Where do you generally spend your Christmas?
BARON: Well, last year I was up in Sasskan-awasha-ketchin -
CHARLEY: Saskatchewan.
BARON: Sasswacha - Ketch - a can-a-gas-a
CHARLEY: Saskatchewan.
BARON: Kas-a-can-can, Aketch---let's change the subject again.
CHARLEY: Come on! Tell me about Saskatchewan.
BARON: All right. Last year when I was up in Sassakana - (LAUGH)
CHARLEY: What's the matter?
BARON: I nearly fell over it again.
CHARLEY: Saskatchewan.
BARON: I should have gone to Toronto. When I got up there they asked me to be Santa Claus.
CHARLEY: They wanted you to be Santa Claus.
BARON: Yes, so I got a sleigh and three hundred reindeers----
CHARLEY: You got what?
BARON: A horse and wagon!
CHARLEY: You said a sleigh and reindeers.
BARON: You heard me say it?
CHARLEY: Yes.
BARON: So why did you ask me what?
CHARLEY: I wanted you to repeat the number of reindeers because I doubted the veracity of your statement.
BARON: ......It's a small world!
CHARLEY: Continue, Baron!
BARON: I got an empty sleigh and -- how many reindeers would you like me to have?
CHARLEY: About four.
BARON: Four! How could four reindeers pull a sleigh loaded down with Christmas presents?
CHARLEY: You said the sleigh was empty!
BARON: It was -- but I just loaded it.
CHARLEY: All right. How many reindeers did you have?
BARON: How many I said before?
CHARLEY: Three hundred.
BARON: So I had three hundred and one.
CHARLEY: Where did the one come from?
BARON: It was born while we was arguing.
CHARLEY: I'll give in.
BARON: I'll give out -- I put bells on the reindeer's hat racks.
CHARLEY: The reindeer's hatracks?
BARON: You know -- what they wear on the head.
CHARLEY: Oh, the antlers, the horns.
BARON: Umbrella handles -- and away I went!
CHARLEY: On your philanthropical mission through the domain to the gratification of a waiting humanity!
BARON: ......If I could stop these reindeers you'd get it good!
CHARLEY: You didn't get me, Baron.
BARON: Don't worry -- I'll get you on the way back. My first stop was just a stone's throw from where I was.
CHARLEY: Just a stone's throw.
BARON: Yes - seventy five miles away.
CHARLEY: Just a moment! You can't throw a stone seventy five miles.
BARON: Did I say I threw it?
CHARLEY: No.
BARON: So what are you picking on me for? Those reindeers traveled like a streak of slippery lightening.
CHARLEY: Fast?
BARON: Fast? Is seventy five miles in seven minutes fast?
CHARLEY: Hold on! Are you going to tell me the reindeers made the seventy five miles in seven minutes?
BARON: You wouldn't believe it?
CHARLEY: No!
BARON: What will you believe?
CHARLEY: Nothing!
BARON: All right! They made the seventy five miles in nothing! When we got to the house it wasn't there.
CHARLEY: What do you mean, it wasn't there?
BARON: As if I knew. So I went further. The next place was an apartment house.
CHARLEY: An apartment house?
BARON: Yes -- in the middle of a lake.
CHARLEY: What in the world was an apartment house doing in the middle of a lake?
BARON: What do I care. It wasn't mine. On the door was a note what said, "Dear Santa Claus - This is a steamheated house, but my little boy expects you to come down the chimney, please do not disappoint him."
CHARLEY: An order you couldn't fill.
BARON: Please! The Baron is an expert filler!
CHARLEY: You found a way out?
BARON: I found a way in. I wouldn't disappoint that child for the world -- I was once a child myself.
CHARLEY: I know it.
BARON: Thank goodness you believe that!
CHARLEY: What did you do?
BARON: I slipped down the chimney - into the furnace and climbed up a steam pipe --
CHARLEY: Stop! Baron! Stop!
BARON: I can't! I'm all steamed up! I climbed to the twenty-second floor and came out of the radiator.
CHARLEY: Please, Baron! quit!
BARON: Is it possible you doubt my word?
CHARLEY: Doubt it? Why you couldn't make me believe a thing like that in ten thousand years - a million years.
BARON: Here! Stop it! The big numbers belong to the Baron!
CHARLEY: You have a consummate nerve to even think I'd believe you climbed up a steam pipe and came out of the radiator!
BARON: Was you there, Sharley?
CHARLEY: No! I was not!
BARON: So I climbed up the steam pipe and came out of the radiator!
CHARLEY: Applesauce!
BARON: Charlotte russe! ---- I could have climbed up the water pipe and come out of the sink!
CHARLEY: Why didn't you?
BARON: I did!
CHARLEY: Baron! You're insulting my intelligence!
BARON: You're welcome! Well sir, I filled the little boy's stocking with nineteen games, twelve books, eight baseball bats --
CHARLEY: Just a moment -- you put all that in the little boy's stocking?
BARON: Sure! Also I put in six cameras, a canoe, three sleds --
CHARLEY: A team of live horses and a Mack truck.
BARON: (LAUGH) Who told you?
CHARLEY: Go on!
BARON: Well, to make a long story before it's finished -- I went from house to house until my sleigh was empty.
CHARLEY: Well, I'm glad its empty!
BARON: So I filled up the sleigh again --
CHARLEY: That will do, Baron! I don't wish to hear any more about it.
BARON: Did I refuse to tell you?
CHARLEY: No - but I refuse to listen! So once more we'll change the subject.
BARON: Okay. So I filled up the sleigh again --
CHARLEY: Please, Baron! I'm more interested in your list of presents.
BARON: You like the present better than the past?
CHARLEY: Yes.
BARON: Sharley, to tell you all the presents I got to get would take years.
CHARLEY: Years?
BARON: Months.
CHARLEY: Months?
BARON: Weeks.
CHARLEY: Weeks?
BARON: Days.
CHARLEY: Days?
BARON: Hours.
CHARLEY: Hours?
BARON: A minute!
CHARLEY: A minute?
BARON: Yes - but I don't know what to get.
CHARLEY: Who is the present for?
BARON: My mother-in-law. What would you suggest?
CHARLEY: Does she need a bridge set?
BARON: ........Hello?
CHARLEY: I said does she need a bridge set?
BARON: (LAUGH) You said a mouth full!
CHARLEY: OH, Baron!
BARON: OH, Sharley!
(END OF PART I)
HOWARD CLANEY: You've been listening to the Christmas adventures of the Baron Munchausen ..... who just ran out the stage door to feed his reindeers. He'll be back a little later. Before the Baron left he tried to borrow the Magic Carpet for a hurried trip to the North Pole, but we couldn't lend it to him because we need it to flash to Abe Lyman and his Orchestra. Let's go get him now!
ON WITH THE DANCE, ABE LYMAN..(WHISTLE)..OKAY, AMERICA!
ABE LYMAN: And this time we play -- (TITLES)
(________)
(________)
(________)
(________)
(________)
ABE LYMAN: Here goes the high-flying Magic Carpet.
(WHISTLE) OKAY, NEW YORK!
HOWARD CLANEY: Thank you Abe - leading an orchestra like that must be a gift-- Oh by George! before I forget it folks, write this down now, on your Christmas gift list ...... For the man who enjoys a pipe -- a pound tin of Half-and-Half smoking tobacco. Men everywhere enjoy Half-and-Half, that famous blend of fine old Buckingham and "TOASTED" LUCKY STRIKE ...... the first different smoking tobacco in a generation. Half-and-Half in those handy, 15-cent tins that get smaller as the tobacco is used .... it comes in half-pound and pound tins -- and say, when you ask for that pound tin -- your dealer will give you, without any additional cost, a beautiful pack of gold edge Congress playing cards .... a special Christmas offer for a limited time only, made to introduce smokers to the joy of America's favorite pipe tobacco - Half-and-Half.
STATION BREAK - - - - -
HOWARD CLANEY: The Baron will be back any minute now, but we still have time for another dance before he returns .... so we're on our way to Abe Lyman and all his boys.
ON WITH THE DANCE, ABE LYMAN..(WHISTLE)..OKAY, AMERICA!
ABE LYMAN: The dance continues with -- (TITLES)
(________)
(________)
(________)
(________)
(________)
ABE LYMAN: Back to the man at the controls flies the Magic Carpet.
(WHISTLE) OKAY, NEW YORK!
HOWARD CLANEY: And now we again bring you Jack Pearl as the Baron Munchausen. The Baron is playing Santa Claus tonight and he really is as generous as old St. Nick himself. There isn't a day long enough for the Baron to give you all the laughs he'd like to. Monday night he opens in the Brooklyn Majestic Theatre in his new show by the Gershwins - titled "Pardon My English." He has been enthusiastically received by audiences in Philadelphia, where his show first opened; but tonight he faces the audience he loves ...... the greatest of them all ..... the radio millions. Ladies and gentlemen, we give you .... the genial Baron Munchausen.
(SECOND PART - "CHRISTMAS")
CHARLEY: You say this friend you want to get a present for is a man of letters?
BARON: Yes - he makes alphabet noodles - and he knows his business.
CHARLEY: Knows his business?
BARON: From A. to Z. I used to be also in that business.
CHARLEY: You don't tell me?
BARON: I just did! But don't mind me. There is where I got this medal.
CHARLEY: What did you get that medal for?
BARON: For inventing a new kind of spaghetti.
CHARLEY: A new kind of spaghetti?
BARON: Yes.
CHARLEY: Where did you get the idea from?
BARON: My noodle.
CHARLEY: Tell me about it?
BARON: You know the trouble you have picking up spaghetti?
CHARLEY: I certainly do.
BARON: Well, with my spaghetti this is not so.
CHARLEY: The difficulty is eliminated.
BARON: .......what happened?
CHARLEY: I said the difficulty is eliminated. You know what eliminated means, don't you?
BARON: Sure, I ----- what is that mersimanated?
CHARLEY: The intricacy is dispensed with.
BARON: ........sometime you must come to my country.
CHARLEY: How do you eliminate the difficulty in picking up spaghetti?
BARON: Well, after you cook it, you bury it in salt.
CHARLEY: Bury it in salt?
BARON: Yes - you got to make it thirsty.
CHARLEY: Make the spaghetti thirsty?
BARON: Sure -- then you dip your fork in wine. Now when the spaghetti smells the wine --
CHARLEY: Just a moment! How can spaghetti smell?
BARON: Sometimes terrible. The spaghetti smells the wine on the fork and laughs.
CHARLEY: The spaghetti laughs!
BARON: It goes into convulsions! Jumps up! - and being thirsty it wines itself on the fork!
CHARLEY: I'd like to believe that.
BARON: So would I! For this friend of mine I got to get something nice because he was nice to me when I was lying in the hospital.
CHARLEY: You were lying in the hospital?
BARON: Yes.
CHARLEY: Even sickness didn't stop you.
BARON .........please. The Baron makes the jokes.
CHARLEY: I'm sorry, continue.
BARON: I think I'll get him a burglar alarm.
CHARLEY: A burglar alarm?
BARON: Yes -- the last time I slept at his house it was burgled.
CHARLEY: He was robbed!
BARON: Pilferred! We just got to sleep when he heard a noise and jumped up - and from under the bed he saw a man's legs sticking out.
CHARLEY: The burglar's legs.
BARON: No -- mine. I heard the noise too.
CHARLEY: Did the burglar get anything?
BARON: Sure - he broke into the stable and stole all the harness.
CHARLEY: He stole all the harness?
BARON: Yes.
CHARLEY: Was he ever caught?
BARON: No - he didn't leave a trace. Also I must get something for my cousin Hugo, but I don't know what. You know for ten years he has lived on water.
CHARLEY: That's impossible, Baron. How could he live on water for ten years?
BARON: He's got a house boat.
CHARLEY: That's different. I thought you meant he existed on water - without food.
BARON: Not my cousin Hugo! He likes good food.
CHARLEY: He's an epicurean.
BARON: ..........I beg your stuff?
CHARLEY: I said he is an epicurean.
BARON: No - he's an Elk. When he came to this country he had a home in New York but he didn't eat there for two months.
CHARLEY: Why not?
BARON: He was in Chicago.
CHARLEY: If he's so fond of food why not make him a present of a meal ticket?
BARON: That's a good idea. I'll get him one. He likes to eat in a Baby Cafeteria.
CHARLEY: A Baby Cafeteria?
BARON: Infants chophouse, kids lunch-room.
CHARLEY: Wait! Do you mean Childs Restaurant?
BARON: That's it! Childs Restaurant!
CHARLEY: Where does he live?
BARON: Up there in Sacawatcha -
CHARLEY: Saskatchewan.
BARON: .......Canada.
CHARLEY: It must be nice up there in winter.
BARON: Wonderful. Last year the water in the lake was frozen in one piece!
CHARLEY: Solid.
BARON: Stiff! Every day we played pawnbroker.
CHARLEY: Pawnbroker?
BARON: I mean hockey. Also we had a lot of fun with the skis.
CHARLEY: You went ski-ing?
BARON: No, we stayed home.
CHARLEY: How could you stay home and have fun with skis?
BARON: They told us jokes.
CHARLEY: The skis told you jokes?
BARON: Sure - Levinsky, Jackofsky, Minsky -
CHARLEY: Good night!
BARON: We also played pinochle.
CHARLEY: Pinochle?
BARON: Yes, but it was so cold I couldn't melt a thing.
CHARLEY: Luck was against you.
BARON: Yes - but not so my cousin. He's lucky in cards, lucky in love and lucky in business.
CHARLEY: What business is he in?
BARON: He's a Shakespearean peddler.
CHARLEY: A Shakespearean peddler?
BARON: Yes, a merchant of venison. Before that he was a Splinter Joe.
CHARLEY: A Splinter Joe?
BARON: A wooden Joseph - a timber Jimmy.
CHARLEY: Is it possible you mean a lumberjack?
BARON: That's it - a lumberjack, and on the side he's a zea captain.
CHARLEY: Pardon me, Baron! He couldn't be a sea captain in Saskatchewan.
BARON: Why not?
CHARLEY: Because the Province of Saskatchewan has no seaboard - no ocean.
BARON: He's got his own notions. In the old country I also was a zea goer.
CHARLEY: You were a mariner?
BARON: No -- I was single.
CHARLEY: What did you do aboard ship?
BARON: I was a show-er.
CHARLEY: A show-er?
BARON: Yes - I used to show the captains how to come in to port.
CHARLEY: Oh, a pilot.
BARON: A kibitzer with water wings!
CHARLEY: As a pilot you must have had a good weather eye.
BARON: Whether I liked it or not.
CHARLEY: It's a dangerous game.
BARON: You said it. One night I was in the pilot-house - it was the clearest night you ever saw, but I couldn't see out of the window.
CHARLEY: Why not?
BARON: The shade was down.
CHARLEY: Why didn't you raise it?
BARON: I did, but the feller on my right raised me, it was the biggest pot --
CHARLEY: Here! What are you talking about?
BARON: (LAUGH) That was another game. Suddenly a storm blew up and in five hours it blew the steamer from the Coast of Germany to Souse America!
CHARLEY: In five hours?
BARON: Maybe four and a half.
CHARLEY: It's hardly necessary for me to tell you I don't believe it.
BARON: You couldn't even try?
CHARLEY: No sir - it's an utter impossibility.
BARON: Was you there, Sharley?
CHARLEY: Was I where?
BARON: Was you there?
CHARLEY: Where?
BARON: .......in Souse America?
CHARLEY: When was this supposed to happen?
BARON: Between September first, nineteen hundred and zix --
CHARLEY: Just a moment! I'll look in my diary and see.
BARON: Er -- Maybe it was five days.
CHARLEY: I'll find the page in a second.
BARON: It could have been five weeks.
CHARLEY: Here's the page -
BARON: Maybe it was five months?
CHARLEY: Let's see -- No, on that date I was in Pittsburg.
BARON: You wasn't there, Sharley?
CHARLEY: No.
BARON: So the storm blew the ship from Germany to Souse America in five hours!
CHARLEY: Let it go! Did the ship founder?
BARON: .........Could I be inquisitive?
CHARLEY: I said, did the ship founder?
BARON: Found who?
CHARLEY: The ship - did she founder?
BARON: Who said it was lost?
CHARLEY: Did the ship break up?
BARON: No, it fell apart!
CHARLEY: Any souls lost?
BARON: No, just a couple of heels. I myself saved a hundred and six chefs and I --
CHARLEY: Wait! Do you mean to say this ship carried one hundred and six chefs?
BARON: Yes sir.
CHARLEY: What in the name of common sense were a hundred and six chefs doing on the boat?
BARON: It was a Cooks tour.
CHARLEY: Oh, Baron!
BARON: Oh, Sharley!
(END OF PART II)
HOWARD CLANEY: That laughter and applause, Uncle Sam, was for Jack Pearl who tonight donned the regalia of Santa Claus and distributed Mr. LUCKY STRIKE'S contribution to Mr. and Mrs. America .... a darn good laugh.
Next week the Baron will keep his date with you again. Incidentally, on Saturday night we will again bring you a program of songs from the operettas .... on that same night the dance music will be furnished by Vincent Lopez, playing from Chicago; and Al Goodman who will play from New York .... but right now Abe Lyman has his orchestra waiting and ready to go, so let's give him his cue ......
ON WITH THE DANCE, ABE LYMAN..(WHISTLE)..OKAY, AMERICA!
ABE LYMAN: As the Magic Carpet settles down on the dance floor we play -- (TITLES)
(________)
(________)
(________)
(________)
(________)
ABE LYMAN: Climb aboard! Here goes the Magic Carpet.
(WHISTLE) OKAY, NEW YORK!
HOWARD CLANEY: Fine work, Abe -- music like that is one of the reasons it's good to be home gathered around the radio, isn't it folks? This afternoon a Christmas ship arrived in New York harbor -- the great United States Liner Manhattan. Among the happy voyagers who journeyed home for Christmas, it was significant how many were LUCKY STRIKE Smokers. For both here and overseas, smokers of particular taste always seek the pleasure of a truly mild cigarette; and they have found that LUCKY STRIKE gives them the real mildness - mellow mildness - of choice, delicious tobaccos brought to their mildest best by "TOASTING". And as those gay voyagers came ashore, they found a new pleasure awaiting them -- the joy of giving their friends their favorite cigarette in a smart, colorful and original Christmas carton. Those beautiful Christmas cartons of LUCKIES have attracted smokers everywhere -- They are offered to you at no extra cost as a service the manufacturers of LUCKIES are glad to give the American people. They contain ten packages of LUCKY STRIKE Cigarettes .... and these delightful Christmas cartons are really a joy for your friends to receive -- the ideal Christmas gift because they express the mellow spirit of Christmas in mellow-mild, delicious LUCKIES.
There's plenty of time left for dancing and California's favorite son, Abe Lyman, is always ready to supply the music. Here we come Abe!
ON WITH THE DANCE...(WHISTLE)...OKAY, AMERICA!
ABE LYMAN: And the dance does go on, this time with -- (TITLES)
(________)
(________)
(________)
(________)
(________)
ABE LYMAN: The Magic Carpet flashes over our heads and dashes back to the Pilot.
(WHISTLE) OKAY, NEW YORK!
HOWARD CLANEY: Thank you, Abe, and thank all your boys. That, ladies and gentlemen --
(INTERRUPTION AS FOLLOWS):
CHARLEY: Mr. Claney - pardon my interruption.
HOWARD CLANEY: What is it, Charley?
CHARLEY: (HESITATINGLY) I -- that is -- the Baron would like to say a few additional words, if you don't mind.
HOWARD CLANEY: Why no, go ahead, Baron.
BARON: Thank you, Mr. Claney -- My dear listeners I want to take this opportunity to wish you a merry, merry Christmas and a great, big, lovely, sweet New Year. This I am wishing you from the bottom of my microphone. If I could speak your language better I would say I -- I -- wish you ----
CHARLEY: -------an exhilarating, sparkling Yuletide and my felicitations for an ensuing year overflowing with an inexhaustible amount of multifarious rejoicing.
BARON: You took the words right out of my mouth. That's exactly what I shouted last night from the top of the Statue of Liberty -- and everybody heard me.
CHARLEY: Just a moment, Baron! You can't make me believe that. Why, you couldn't even say the words I used.
BARON: Was you there, Sharley?
CHARLEY: No, I was not.
BARON: So I said -- A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
HOWARD CLANEY: Thank you Baron and thank you Charley, and I am sure all of your listeners wish the same to you.
Until Saturday then, ladies and gentlemen, we bid you all goodnight.
(MUSICAL SIGNATURE)
This is the National Broadcasting Company.