Generic Radio Workshop Script Library (BACK)

Series: Miscellaneous Single Episodes
Show: The Chase and Sanborn Hour: The Bad Man
Date: Aug 29 1937

CAST:
HOST, Don Ameche
ANNOUNCER
GILBERT, the mopey hero
LUCY, the troubled heroine
PANCHO LOPEZ, the bad man of Mexico
PEDRO, Lopez' chief lieutenant
MORGAN PELL, Lucy's wealthy evil husband
HENRY SMITH, Gilbert's ornery uncle
and a few BANDITS

HOST:

... Down on the Mexican border, almost anything is likely to happen -- and it certainly does in Porter Emerson Browne's comedy-drama "The Bad Man." It's a grand play and we're going to have a grand time doing it, for Dorothy Lamour's going to play Lucy, the lady in the case; Nelson Eddy will be Gilbert, the young man with a load of troubles; and I'm going to play Pancho Lopez, the bad man.

MUSIC:

FOR AN INTRODUCTION ... OUT BEHIND--

ANNOUNCER:

"The Bad Man" -- the scene is the ranch house of Gilbert Jones on the Mexican border. In the last year, things have gone badly for Gilbert. His cattle have been stolen, his crops have failed, and now he's about to lose his ranch -- for the wealthy Morgan Pell is going to foreclose the mortgage. Pell is outside when his wife, Lucy, stops Gilbert in the living room of the ranch house.

LUCY:

Gil, what'll you do if you and your uncle have to give up your ranch?

GILBERT:

Oh, I don't know. Get a job somewhere. Punch cows. Or maybe join the Rangers. And I can always send Uncle Henry back to Maine.

LUCY:

Oh, I wish I could do something to help. I've talked to my husband, but he says it's business.

GILBERT:

After all, Lucy, if he holds the mortgage on my ranch and I haven't the ten thousand to pay it-- Well--

LUCY:

But it isn't fair. Oh, Gil, to think that after all these years, we had to meet again this way.

GILBERT:

All these years! You talk as though you were a hundred.

LUCY:

It's eight years since you went away. Gil, why didn't you come to see me before you went?

GILBERT:

Well, it was pride, I guess. I was broke and--

LUCY:

Only pride -- because you were poor? Oh, Gil!

GILBERT:

I hoped to pick a fortune off a tree somewhere and come back and surprise you with it. I was going to buy an automobile - one of those low ones - as long as a Pullman car - and fill it full of roses - drive up to your door and take you away in it. But I couldn't find a fortune tree. I guess they don't grow any more.

SOUND:

APPROACHING BANDITS MURMUR DURING ABOVE ... A FEW GUNSHOTS

LUCY:

Gil! Gil, what's that?!

GILBERT:

I don't know. You stay here, Lucy. (MOVING OFF) I'll be right back.

LUCY:

Gil, don't leave me! Gil!

SOUND:

BANDITS FALL SILENT WITH--

LOPEZ:

(TO GILBERT) Ah, Señor! You will put the hands up, too, please? (CALLS) Pedro?! You'll keep these people out here. I will call them when I want them.

PEDRO:

(OFF) Si, Señor.

LOPEZ:

(SEES LUCY, IMPRESSED) Ah, Señora! Oh, what a beautiful prisoner, huh?

LUCY:

Prisoner?

LOPEZ:

Oh, si, Señora. You are my prisoner. But, er, permit me to introduce myself. I am Pancho Lopez. You have heard of me perhaps?

LUCY:

Well, I, uh--

LOPEZ:

What?! You have not heard of Pancho Lopez, the bandit, the bad man?!

LUCY:

Yes. Yes, but you aren't going to--?

LOPEZ:

No. No, I'm not going to shoot you, Señora. Come here.

LUCY:

What do you want?

LOPEZ:

How old are you?

LUCY:

Twenty-six.

LOPEZ:

Twenty-six? Oh, is pretty old. ... Let me see your teeth.

LUCY:

My teeth? (BEAT) All right, look at them.

LOPEZ:

(BEAT) Well, they're all there. What your name is?

LUCY:

Lucy.

LOPEZ:

Lucy? Oh. Oh! Lucia! Oh, is pretty name. Come here, I want to see you closer. (BEAT) Mmmmm, not bad. How would you like to go with me to Mexico, huh?

LUCY:

But I couldn't do that.

LOPEZ:

But why not?

LUCY:

I'm married.

LOPEZ:

Oh, well, we will not take the husband. Just you and me. ... We go to the bullfight. I show you a good time. You know, it is great honor to be took by Pancho Lopez into Mexico. Like, er -- how you say? -- the decoration for the chest.

LUCY:

(NERVOUS) Please, no. Don't take me with you.

LOPEZ:

Oh, your hand is shaking. For why? You 'fraid of me perhaps?

LUCY:

A little. I've heard you kill people.

LOPEZ:

Oh, I do. But I kill only men. And only evil men. And when I kill evil men, it makes me very happy, for I do good deed.

LUCY:

But who decides whether a man is good or evil?

LOPEZ:

(CHEERFUL) I do! ... Now - now we will get down to business. (CALLS) Pedro?! Pedro?!

PEDRO:

(OFF) Si, Señor?

LOPEZ:

(CALLS) Bring in the old man and the husband!

PEDRO:

(OFF) Si, Señor.

LOPEZ:

(TO LUCY) Ah, Señora, we shall have big fun together! You will not worry much about the fool husband once you are in Mexico.

PELL:

(APPROACHES, TO PEDRO) Take your hands off of me! (TO LOPEZ) Look here, that's my wife you're talking to.

LOPEZ:

So? Is nice little wife. I like her.

PELL:

(TAKEN ABACK) Well, I'll be--!

LOPEZ:

You don't mind, do you?

SMITH:

No. Why should he mind? He don't love her!

LOPEZ:

He's her husband who does not love her? Who are you, Señor?

SMITH:

Me? Oh, I'm just Old Man Smith. It's my house you're a-banditin' around in.

LOPEZ:

(REASSURING) Oh, is all right. (BUSINESSLIKE) Now I shall ask the questions. And anybody who does not tell the truth, he shall be shot, pronto.

LUCY:

Shot?!

PELL:

You mean it--?

SMITH:

Geemoneddy, I only hope her husband tells a lie.

LOPEZ:

You wish the husband to be shot?

SMITH:

Well, I should enjoy it tremendous.

LOPEZ:

Why you wish him to be shot tremendous, huh?

SMITH:

Because he's tryin' to skin us out of this place, gol darn him.

LOPEZ:

Oh, ho! (TO PELL) This is so, Señor?

PELL:

No! I came here to foreclose the mortgage I hold on this place.

SMITH:

Well, tell him why you want to steal it so bad. I dare ya!

LOPEZ:

That is true? He wish to steal your place?

SMITH:

Well, ask him. I only hope to thunder he tells a lie.

LOPEZ:

(TO PELL, STERNLY) Did you, Señor? You will answer, please.

PELL:

No!

SMITH:

There's your chance! Shoot him quick! ...

PELL:

I only refused to give them a time extension.

SMITH:

(DISAPPOINTED) Aww, you didn't shoot quick enough. Now ask him why he wants the place! Maybe he'll tell another lie.

LOPEZ:

Why do you want this place, Señor?

PELL:

(STAMMERS) I, er-- I, er--

SMITH:

Get ready! He's a-goin' to do it!

PELL:

(RELUCTANT) I thought there might be oil here.

LOPEZ:

Oil?! Oh. (THOUGHTFUL) Maybe I like this place for myself.

SMITH:

Oh, yeah? Well, this place belongs to my nephew Gilbert.

LOPEZ:

Oh, the other man outside, huh? (CALLS) Pedro?! Bring in the other one!

PEDRO:

(OFF) Ah, si, Señor.

LOPEZ:

We'll see who get this oil.

GILBERT:

(APPROACHES) Hey, what's coming off here, anyway?

LOPEZ:

(STUNNED) You--? You are the nephew what owns this ranch?

GILBERT:

Yes.

LOPEZ:

You have been down in Cañon Diablo sometime? You were there one night, five, six year ago? You remember poor man wounded, near bleed to death?

GILBERT:

Why, yes, I do.

LOPEZ:

You do! Where he was wounded? Quick! You tell!

GILBERT:

Shot through the shoulder.

LOPEZ:

(SATISFIED) Ah, it is you. Don't you know me? Don't you recognize who is the Pancho Lopez what I am? Look-look-look close! No, don't look at the clothes! The face.

GILBERT:

Good Lord! You're the man I found wounded that night.

LOPEZ:

And whose life you save'! Is my friend! Oh, how glad I am for see you some more! Is big lucky thing I recognize you!

LUCY:

Then you aren't going to rob him after all?

LOPEZ:

Rob him?! Rob my friend?! Ciertamente no! I help him! In one little hour, his troubles go poof! And he shall be happy man.

SMITH:

Hey, can't you take this guy Pell with you? He'll only come back here and rob us of our oil wells.

PELL:

Why, you old fool--

SMITH:

Yeah, he's sore anyway because his wife's in love with my nephew. She always has been.

LUCY:

Oh, please--

GILBERT:

Quiet, Uncle Henry.

SMITH:

I gotta tell the truth. I don't wanna get shot. ...

LOPEZ:

It is true, my friend? You love her?

GILBERT:

Uncle Henry, what did you say that for?

SMITH:

Well, he says he can fix things. Let him try. ...

LOPEZ:

(THOUGHTFUL, MUSING) So, Señor, it is true. I can see it in your eyes. And in hers. Ah, she's very beautiful. Oh, I shall miss her. (QUICKLY) However, what is one lady between friends? You shall have her! (TO LUCY) Señora, please -- you love my good friend Gilbert?

LUCY:

Oh, please -- we can't discuss a thing like this.

LOPEZ:

Señora, your husband is bad friend for you. He beat you sometimes?

LUCY:

Why - why do you think that?

LOPEZ:

I have seen ladies who are beat. It is in the eyes -- like the horses and dogs. Is true? Answer me; tell me truth.

LUCY:

Oh, I-- (WEAKLY) Yes. Yes, it's true. He tried to brand me -- with a hot iron.

GILBERT:

He tried to what?

PELL:

(LOW) Shut up, Lucy.

LOPEZ:

Oh, I think your husband is evil man. But fear no more, Señora. I shall make you also happy, eh?

LUCY:

But what are you going to do?

LOPEZ:

Kill him.

LUCY:

(GASPS) ...

PELL:

Kill - kill me?

LOPEZ:

Yes, si, si. (CALLS) Pedro?! Pedro?!

PELL:

You're -- you're joking. You must be!

LOPEZ:

I do not like you. Nobody like you. Alive, you are no good. Dead -- you make two people which I love happy.

PELL:

(DESPERATE) If that's all you want, I'll give her to him! I swear I will!

LOPEZ:

I want to look at you once before I shoot you. ... I have never before seen man which would not fight for his woman.

PELL:

No! No-no-no, he can have her! You can have her! All my money!

LOPEZ:

(SCOFFS WITH DISGUST) I have never before know that even a dog could be so yellow. I do not hunt rabbits. Pedro, take him out. Tie him up good. (CARELESSLY, TO HIMSELF) Maybe I'll take him to Mexico with me.

PEDRO:

Si, si, Señor. (TO PELL) Come along with me, you dog.

PELL:

(MOVING OFF) No! No, no! Unhand me! You can't get away with this!

LOPEZ:

(GRUMBLES) I am full of - what you call - the disgust.

LUCY:

But what are you going to do with him?

LOPEZ:

Why you care? Is he not evil man what beat his wife? Maybe he die in Mexico; how do you like that? ...

GILBERT:

Oh, that wouldn't do any good, Lopez.

LOPEZ:

Why not? The rancho with the oil wells is yours! The woman what you want to marry, she is yours -- for yourself, personal. Tell me, my friend, have I not made you a happy man?

SOUND:

DOOR OPENS

PELL:

Stick 'em up, all of you! Ah! A little surprise, eh?!

SMITH:

Put that gun down, you fool!

PELL:

Now I've got you all where I want you!

LOPEZ:

Ahhh, the yellow dog turned tail, eh? I kill Pedro for let' you go.

PELL:

Shut up, all of you! Make a fool out of me, will you?!

LUCY:

Gilbert, he's gonna shoot you!

PELL:

My wife is right! Get away from him, Lucy!

LUCY:

I won't!

PELL:

All right, then -- take what's coming to you! You can all die together!

SOUND:

GUNSHOT!

PELL:

(DEATH GROAN)

SOUND:

PELL'S BODY DROPS TO FLOOR

LOPEZ:

(DISGUSTED, TO PELL) Santa Maria del Rio de Guadaloupe! How many times must I get rid of you today, anyhow, huh? ... Now maybe you stay quiet for a long time, huh?

LUCY:

Oh! You - killed him.

LOPEZ:

(LIGHTLY DISMISSIVE) Oh, he was evil man. He tried to kill you. (AN ORDER) Pedro, take him away.

PEDRO:

Si, Señor.

LOPEZ:

He's no use for nobody now. Well, what you do now, my friend, huh? Marry the señora?

GILBERT:

Why, I can't now. Maybe sometime -- by and bye.

LOPEZ:

Well, if she's all right for by and bye, why's she all wrong for now, huh? ... Dios! I come here, I work like diablo all day to make you happy, and the best I get is this?!

GILBERT:

I don't mean to be ungrateful--

LOPEZ:

Ungrateful?! You make me sick! No blood, no courage. Americanos! Bah! For you, I am finish!

GILBERT:

I'm sorry, Lopez.

LOPEZ:

Sorry! Is all you can say is sorry! (BEAT, LOW) All right. Then you will not take the señora, huh?

LUCY:

We've tried to explain to you.

LOPEZ:

Well, then-- I take her.

GILBERT:

You what?!

LOPEZ:

Since you too big fool not to take her yourself, I take her myself. What you know about that?

GILBERT:

Aw, no, you don't! Put up your hands, Lopez!

LOPEZ:

You will not shoot me.

GILBERT:

I will, if I have to.

LOPEZ:

Oh, the wolf in sheep's overcoat, eh? ...

GILBERT:

It's her life or yours. I'll give you just three seconds to get out of here! One -- two --

LOPEZ:

(LAUGHS, MERRILY) Don't shoot! Don't shoot! (LAUGHS HEARTILY)

GILBERT:

(CONFUSED) Is this a trick?

LOPEZ:

Si, si. (LAUGHS) Ohhhh, my friend, I have made the man from you at last! Fine man what would kill for his woman!

GILBERT:

(REALIZES) You're right. I would have killed you.

LOPEZ:

Oh, I know. I know. That make me very happy! ... Now you have become the man of intelligence. [Like me!]

GILBERT:

Lopez, we'll never forget you.

LOPEZ:

Oh, no, no, no, do not thank me. Is happy day for you. Is happy day for her. Is happy day for me. Adios, my friends!

MUSIC:

CURTAIN

SOUND:

APPLAUSE

HOST:

Thank you, Nelson Eddy and Dorothy Lamour, for your swell support. The Chase and Sanborn Hour with W. C. Fields, Nelson Eddy, Edgar Bergen, Charlie McCarthy, and Dorothy Lamour will continue in just a moment.

MUSIC:

NBC CHIMES ...