Generic Radio Workshop Script Library (BACK)

Series: Quiet Please
Show: #70 Good Ghost
Date: Oct 24 1948

CAST:

GUS, the newly dead ghost
SCHUSTER, the guy who killed him, and his rival for the hand of
ADA
ROLLO, bad guy owner of the local gambling joint
VOICE

ANNCR:

Quiet Please. Quiet Please.

MUSIC:

FROM THE SECOND SYMPHONY IN D MINOR BY CESAR FRANCK

The American Broadcasting Company presents Quiet Please, which is written by Wyliss Cooper. Quiet Please for tonight is called "Good Ghost," and had its radio premiere October 24, 1948.

GUS:

I never did anything wrong in my life. And that's why I was so upset when Schuster murdered me.

MUSIC:

UNDER "ST. JAMES INFIRMARY"

I'm just standing there minding my own business and Schuster pulls out this cannon and goes Boom and I say Ouch and I'm lying there and he walks away down Lake Street toward Michigan Avenue. Yeah right there on the corner of Lake and Wabash at a quarter after one in the morning. Ouch I said and I just laid there. After a while I got up and walked away. I was all mixed up, I guess I didn't realize I was dead because I walked over to Randolph Street and started up the elevated steps but something stopped me. Like a rope or something across the bottom of the stairsteps and I couldn't get up So I looked around to see what it was and it was nothin', There was a voice speaking kind of in my ear.

VOICE:

(Whispers) You can't go up there, Gus.

GUS:

That's what the voice said and there wasn't anybody there. I looked. So I said well all right there's more than one way to skin a cat so I walked over to State Street and down the subway stairs. (Pause) You know what? I couldn't go down there either. There was this same voice whispering in my ear.

VOICE:

(Whispers) You can't go down there, Gus.

GUS:

Well I said, where am I gonna go? I didn't hear any answer to that. So I put one foot in front of the other and you know what I did? I walked. And for the first time in my life - (chuckle) for the first time, my feet didn't hurt. So I said that's one consolation for being a ghost, your feet don't hurt. Well I was bewildered see, I walk and I walk and I walk and pretty soon it's about five o'clock in the morning and I'm out in Logan Square. And I said to myself, why Schuster lives around here someplace don't he? and... I am in Schuster's house. See I was a pretty new and inexperienced ghost then, shoot, if I'da knowed I wouldn't have had to walk all the way out to Logan Square I coulda flew or whatever it is I do. But I've learned now. I'll tell you about it. Well like I said there I am in Schuster's house. Well, you didn't know Schuster, did ya? He was layin' there on the bed. Pretty good lookin fella in kind of a fat way. He was layin' there snoring, his hand hanging over the bed and I never thought I just went over and took hold of his hand

SCHUSTER:

(snoring underneath)

GUS:

(quietly) And I said Schuster. Hey Schuster.

SCHUSTER:

(starts to wake)

GUS:

(Louder) Hey Schuster! Wake up.

SCHUSTER:

Who's that?

GUS:

Wake up. Schuster, it's me.

SCHUSTER:

(Shouts) Whaaa! Who's there?

GUS:

Well gee whiz, Schuster, it's bad enough to murder a guy, you got to scare the life out of him?

SCHUSTER:

Somebody had hold of my hand.

GUS:

It was me.

SCHUSTER:

A cold hand.

GUS:

It was me, I told ya.

SCHUSTER:

Who's that?

GUS:

Me, Schuster.

SCHUSTER:

But the hand...

GUS:

It's Gus.

SCHUSTER:

(Shouts) Gus! Gus! (quieter) Gus?

GUS:

You awake now?

SCHUSTER:

You get away from me! You're dead!

GUS:

Yeah, I know it. I didn't mean to wake you up so violently..

SCHUSTER:

(mumbles, confused.) I'm asleep. I'm dreaming.

GUS:

No, honest, Schuster. I'm sorry.

SCHUSTER:

I'm hearing things. (Moans) Aww, why did I knock him off?

GUS:

Hey...

SCHUSTER:

Huh?

GUS:

Why did you knock me off?

SCHUSTER:

(mumbles, mutters) Is that really you, Gus?

GUS:

Sure.

SCHUSTER:

Did you come to haunt me?

GUS:

No. Not especially. I was just wondering why did you shoot me?

SCHUSTER:

I'm gonna turn on the lights. There ain't nobody here. I had a nightmare.

SFX LIGHT SWITCH.

SCHUSTER:

There. See? You chump. There ain't nobody here.

GUS:

I'm here.

SCHUSTER:

It was a nightmare.

GUS:

Uh-uh.

SCHUSTER:

Gus, uh, I hear ya.

GUS:

Sure...

SCHUSTER:

What do you want?

GUS:

I told you. Why did you kill me?

SCHUSTER:

Will you go away if I tell you?

GUS:

Well...

SCHUSTER:

It was on accounta Ada.

GUS:

Ada?

SCHUSTER:

Yeah, Ada. Will you go away now and leave me?

GUS:

Schuster. Is your intentions towards Ada honorable?

SCHUSTER:

(Confidently) Why, why sure, Gus.

GUS:

Hmmmm.

SCHUSTER:

Where are you goin' now?

GUS:

Move over, Schuster. I want to do a little thinking.

MUSIC:

BRIDGE

GUS:

Schuster, he put his head underneath the covers and shriveled all up into a knot and I thought and thought. He kept shiverin' and shaking the bed and pretty soon I went to sleep.

MUSIC:

UNDER.

And when I awoke, Schuster was gone!

MUSIC:

STING

So I got to thinking about Ada. Gee whiz, Ada was cute! I sure did like Ada. Ada always wore her hair in a pompadour and her hair was so black and her eyebrows were so cute and she always smelled so nice. Gee, Ada. (chuckle) I always thought Ada liked me too, and when I got a couple of bucks we used to take Ada out to the Trianon and we'd dance. She was about three or four inches taller than me but we danced all right together. That's where Schuster ran into us - at the Trianon. I never thought Aida would fall for Schuster. Funny how you're always the last one to find out. I thought she liked me. I never even had a chance to be jealous of Schuster. But I sure did like Ada. I was thinking about the time Schuster drove us out to the forest preserve, Ada and me. The three of us had a picnic - weenies - and she made potato salad and we had a swell time. And then I remember - I didn't notice it then, she kept sitting next to Schuster all the time. Well, I thought as I was layin' there on Schuster's bed, I'm too late. If Ada likes Schuster, well all I can do is try to help 'em out. Schuster, well I could do without him, but Ada - I want her to be happy.

And thinking about it all of a sudden I'm in Ada's apartment and Schuster's there with her and Ada's crying a little bit

ADA:

(cries.)

MUSIC:

"HEARTS AND FLOWERS" CONTINUES UNDER.

SCHUSTER:

Well it sure is too bad, Ada. He was a nice little fella.

ADA:

(crying) I can't, can't hardly believe he's dead, Schuster.

SCHUSTER:

Well, he is.

GUS:

I'll say I am.

ADA:

What did you say?

SCHUSTER:

I didn't say nothing.

ADA:

I, I thought you did. Ah, poor little fella. To go so sudden...

SCHUSTER:

Yeah, too bad.

GUS:

Gee whiz, Schuster, you done it.

ADA:

I was so fond of him.

SCHUSTER:

I know you was, Ada.

ADA:

Now, now I'm all alone in the world.

SCHUSTER:

Ah no you ain't, Ada. I'm here.

GUS:

Sure, Ada. He's here.

ADA:

Oh Schuster, I'm so lonesome...

SCHUSTER:

Oh Ada, put your head on my shoulder Ada honey and leave us weep together.

ADA:

Oh Schuster...

GUS:

And so she put her head onto Schuster's shoulder but gee whiz, he didn't weep, he kissed her. So I come away, I mean, after all, how much can you take, huh?

MUSIC:

OUT

Well so it looks like it's on the up and up and besides what could I do? I am dead. So I sit down on the bench in Lincoln Park and I think. Funny them concrete benches used to feel cold when I sat down on them but now they don't feel cold anymore. I guess because I'm a ghost.

Well I figure I have to talk to Schuster again. What? Well I mean I figure I have to help him out - help Ada out, I mean. I don't want Ada to go around being unhappy so if her and Schuster is gonna get married, well, the least I can do is give them a hand. I mean I know Schuster hasn't got a quarter and there's ways a guy in my position can help, see? No I don't know how I knowed it but it's true a ghost can do pretty nearly anything if he works it right. So I wait till night and I start to walk out to Logan Square and then I remember I don't have to walk and zing I am in Schuster's room. Schuster's settin' there thinking and I say Schuster, hey Schuster. He don't give me a tumble but I can see his eyes moving, looking around the room. Hey Schuster, I say again, I want to talk to you. (Pause) And you know what he done?

MUSIC:

DRAMATIC CHORD.

He jumped out the window.

SFX PANE OF GLASS CRASHING.

GUS:

Well I am so surprised I can't even follow him out the window. (Pause) You know what, that Schuster he was the hardest guy to haunt I ever seen. And look I didn't want to do nothing -- all I wanted to do was help Ada. So what if he does shoot me? That's over. I gotta help Ada. Heck, I loved Ada, see?

Couple nights later I seen him get in his car. I run, I got in alongside him and I figure this is fine. We're all alone in the car. And then I begin to worry. If I say something while we're drivin' he'll probably wreck the car. So I wait until we're stopped at the light by Diversey and Lincoln Park. We're standin' still, what can happen? So I put my hand on top of his on the gearshift and I say (whispers) Hey, Schuster. Bam crash, jingle bounce and he takes his foot off the clutch and we're through a high iron fence and the car is upside down and Schuster's got a sprained ankle. Gee whiz, I said, I'm a heck of a ghost. But he's layin' there and I think, this is a good time to talk to him before the ambulance comes. He can't move. But he crosses me up. He faints.

MUSIC:

STING.

MUSIC:

CHANGE OF SCENE.

GUS:

And while he's laid up with his ankle all bandaged up Ada comes and sees him and the way she puts her arms around him and kisses him I says this is no place for me. So I come away again. I, I couldn't take it. But that only made it worse. I should talk to him and see what I can do for Ada - and him. So after a while he's well and I see him and Ada every once in a while and he treated her like - gee whiz, the way I wished I could have treated her. And she et it up. Well one night Schuster goes into a movie - I saw the movie before. You got a lot of time on your hands when you're a ghost. Usually. You can get in the movies free. I followed him inside and while they was running the sign on the screen that said next week "Hollow Triumph" I lean over close to him and say, Schuster. Gee whiz, he went up like a : balloon. People was hollerin' and he was hollerin' and the ushers come and the cops and they drug him away. You know what the upshot of that was? He kept hollering to the cops that he was haunted and they thought he was tetched in the head so they put him in a wagon took him out to Psychopathic for observation.

MUSIC:

STING

Me, I sure made a mess out of things, didn't I? And all I am trying to do was be a good guy - a good ghost, I mean. So come evening out to Psychopathic I go. Boy what a place, and I hunt high and low for Schuster till it's about two o'clock. Then I hear a kinda gargle I think is familiar and I go through a little door and oh boy - there he is. In a straitjacket. Well for pity's sake, Schuster, I said.

SCHUSTER:

(Terrified muffled mumble)

GUS:

Look, Schuster, stop it. I ain't gonna hurt you.

SCHUSTER:

Go away (through muzzle.)

GUS:

Schuster, listen to me.

SCHUSTER:

Go away (louder) (More loud mumble)

GUS:

Schuster, don't. You'll bust something.

SCHUSTER:

Oh. Oh (as he understands.)

GUS:

Now listen, Schuster.

SCHUSTER:

Huh?

GUS:

Listen to me. I ain't mad.

SCHUSTER:

(Muffled) Ain't you?

GUS:

Naw. Schuster. I ain't mad at all. I want...

SCHUSTER:

(Muffled) You don't want to kill me?

GUS:

What?

SCHUSTER:

To kill me?

GUS:

Kill ya?

SCHUSTER:

Yeah, kill me.

GUS:

Nah, Schuster, all I want to do is help you.

SCHUSTER:

(Hollers) Help.

GUS:

Don't, Schuster, somebody'll hear ya.

SCHUSTER:

Oh, yeah.

GUS:

Look. I'm only allowed to kill one person. See, Schuster?

SCHUSTER:

Me!

GUS:

Naw, you ain't allowed to kill the fella that killed you, see? I can only knock off one fella. And he has to be a bad fella.

SCHUSTER:

Oooh (understanding.)

GUS:

Yeah, I know you're kinda bad, but you can't be all bad, Schuster, or else Ada wouldn't love you. Does Ada love you?

SCHUSTER:

Yeah.

GUS:

And do you love her?

SCHUSTER:

(Affirmative)

GUS:

Yeah, that's what I thought.

SCHUSTER:

Don't kill me!

GUS:

What?

SCHUSTER :

Please.

GUS:

Listen, I said I wasn't gonna kill you. I just want to help you.

SCHUSTER:

Yeah?

GUS:

A ghost can do lots of things, Schuster.

SCHUSTER:

Yeah.

GUS:

You need money, Schuster?

SCHUSTER:

(Hearty affirmative)

GUS:

You broke?

SCHUSTER:

(Affirmative)

GUS:

Well, you can't marry Ada without money.

SCHUSTER:

Yeah.

GUS:

I'll get you the money.

SCHUSTER:

Yeah?

GUS:

I'm not kiddin'. Only will you promise to marry Ada as soon as you get the money?

SCHUSTER:

(Emphatic affirmative)

GUS:

Well, I says okay then. And I reached over and patted him on the forehead and he heaved himself up and the gag come out of his mouth.

SCHUSTER:

(gagless, hollers) Let me out of here! Haaaalp!

MUSIC:

STING

GUS:

So I have to start all over again. I stuff the thing back in his puss and all he can say is urkle urkle and I lay it all out to him again. He was bound and determined I was gonna knock him off. He must have had a guilty conscience or something. But it was daylight when I finally sold him the bill of goods. Look, I kept saying, it's Ada I'm thinking of, I said. I want Ada to be happy. I have to help you if I'm gonna help Ada. Can't you see? And it was, like I said, broad daylight when I took the gag away from him again. And I was all ready to put it back but...

SCHUSTER:

Okay, Gus. Okay, I believe you.

GUS:

You got to believe me.

SCHUSTER:

But you gotta remember if you hurt me, you'll be hurtin' Ada, Gus.

GUS:

I know it, Schuster. Why else would I go to all this trouble? Heck, Schuster, I loved Ada. And he just looked at me funny and I said, Okay, I'll meet you at Rollo's next Wednesday night. And I come away.

(Pause) Rollo's.

MUSIC:

BARRELHOUSE PIANO UNDER, CONTINUES.

I don't suppose you ever been there, huh? Gambling joint. I used to go there once in a while - when I was alive - pick up a coupla dollars shooting craps or something. Schuster goes there a lot, too. I'm standing by the wheel when Schuster comes in. I'm just standing there, of course Schuster can't see me when he comes up. He stood there lookin' a minute. Rollo give him a hello.

ROLLO:

Hello, Schuster.

SCHUSTER:

Hi, Rollo.

ROLLO:

Get your bets down, gents. Schuster, you gonna play?

GUS:

17.

SCHUSTER:

What'd you say?

ROLLO:

I said are you gonna play. Get your money down.

GUS:

I said 17.

SCHUSTER:

Five on 17.

ROLLO:

All bets down. That's all, gents.

SFX SPINNING ROULETTE WHEEL.

GUS :

I let it spin a minute. Then I put my finger on the seventeen and I stopped it.

SFX WHEEL STOPS.

ROLLO:

Seventeen. Here you are, Schuster. Get your bets down, gents.

GUS:

Four.

SCHUSTER:

Four.

GUS:

A hundred dollars.

ROLLO :

Ahh, pledging, huh???

SCHUSTER:

Spin the wheel.

ROLLO:

All bets down.

SFX WHEEL SPINNING CONTINUES UNDER

ROLLO :

Round and round she goes, where she stops nobody knows.

GUS:

The heck nobody knows. I know. She stops on four.

SFX WHEEL STOPS.

ROLLO :

Four. Well, nice goin', Schuster.

SCHUSTER:

Yeah, it is nice, ain't it?

GUS:

Eleven, Schuster.

SCHUSTER:

Eleven. Five hundred dollars.

ROLLO:

Take it easy, Schuster.

SCHUSTER:

Spin the wheel.

SFX WHEEL SPINS, STOP.

SCHUSTER:

That was an awfully short spin, Rollo.

ROLLO:

What're you beefin' about? It stopped on eleven, didn't it?

GUS:

Hey, Schuster.

SCHUSTER:

What?

GUS:

Ain't you got enough?

SCHUSTER:

Enough?

GUS:

Enough to marry Ada. You won three times.

SCHUSTER:

Aw, come on, Gus, let's not quit yet.

GUS:

O-kay. Thirteen.

SCHUSTER:

Thirteen. A thousand bucks.

MUSIC:

STRING-LIKE STING.

GUS:

At four o'clock in the morning Rollo announced the bank was busted. Schuster took every dime in the joint - well, Schuster with me to help. And he went out of that place with money sticking out of every pocket. And his hat.

Hey, Schuster, I said.

SCHUSTER:

Well, Gus, you're terrific. I'm set for life.

GUS:

No, you ain't set for life, Schuster, I said. At least not yet you ain't. You forgot about Ada.

SCHUSTER:

Ada? Oh, oh yeah, Ada.

GUS:

This dough was to get married on, Schuster, remember?

SCHUSTER:

Oh yeah, whaddaya know? (chuckles) Pretty near forgot about Ada. (chuckles harder) Can you imagine that? (Laughs heartily)

MUSIC:

BRIDGE

GUS:

And so two days afterwards Schuster and Ada drive over to Crown Point to a little justice of the peace and they get married. Gee whiz, it was a happy day.

MUSIC:

WEDDING MARCH CONTINUES UNDER.

Ada sure looked pretty with her pompadour and her new dress from Carson Pirie's and her eyes shinin'. She was nervous. And cute. Even Schuster looked pretty good in a double-breasted green suit. I got sentimental and I kinda bawled, standing there watching them. Only of course nobody knowed I was there and I thought (chokes) gee, that mighta been me maybe...

SCHUSTER:

(background) I do.

GUS:

Only it's too late. The least I can do is to see that she has everything she wants.

ADA:

(background) I do.

GUS:

I can do that - on account of I'm a ghost. I can do practically anything. There's Ada looking all pink and about to bust, she's so happy and Schuster holding his arms around her and the old JP grinning too, looking at the hundred dollar bill. I couldn't help it, I step up real close and

ADA:

(shrieks)

SCHUSTER:

What's the matter, honey?

ADA:

I felt something cold on my cheek all of a sudden.

GUS:

Well it was only me kissin' the bride! I love ya, Ada.

MUSIC:

OUT.

GUS:

Oh, sure they was happy as bumblebees. Heck no, I would never intrude in their privacy. I never went to their house. I used to meet Schuster once in a while and I'd say, Schuster, how's it goin'?

SCHUSTER:

Oh, fine, Gus, fine. Swell, Gus. (chuckles) Ada's very happy.

GUS:

And I always felt glad and happy about it. Then one day I meet Schuster and I ask him the same question and he kinda stutters and stammers a minute and then says,

SCHUSTER:

Well, look Gus, Ada wants a mink coat.

GUS:

Then why don't you get her one?

SCHUSTER:

I'm not holdin', Gus. I made a couple of bad investments.

GUS:

So Schuster and me we busted the bank at Rollo's again and Rollo, he wasn't very happy about it, but what could the man do? It was his business, wasn't it? And Ada was happy I figured. Schuster hit me again when the Arlington race season started.

SCHUSTER:

Say, Gus, can you do anything about horses?

GUS:

Like what?

SCHUSTER:

(conspiratorially) You know.

GUS:

What's the matter, you broke again?

SCHUSTER:

No, but I kinda'd like to get a new car for Ada.

GUS:

A goat by the name of Lollipopsy came in at 134 to one and I nearly wore myself out flagging down the other horses. Schuster had 200 dollars on Lollipopsy's nose. Gee whiz, I said, Ada should get two cars - both of them ca-romium plated.

So one day Schuster says Hi to me. I was always around because there was no place for me to go. I kept trying the subway and the elevated but no soap, I was stuck. So I stayed within callin' distance. Ada was awful nice. Gee whiz! Schuster says to me..Say, Gus.

SCHUSTER:

Say, Gus.

GUS:

What?

SCHUSTER:

You know the Sweepstakes?

GUS:

Yeah.

SCHUSTER:

Wee-llll?

GUS:

What?

SCHUSTER:

I got a ticket...

GUS:

Gee whiz, Schuster...

SCHUSTER:

Well, Ada wants a house in Lake Forest. That costs bucks.

GUS:

Oh, well!

MUSIC:

STING.

GUS:

Well, Ireland is a nice place. But sortin' through all those ticket stubs to find BB 46 37 28 29 was quite a job of work. What? A hundred and ten thousand dollars. You can buy quite a joint in Lake Forest for that kind of moola. I thought oh boy, Ada's doin' all right. And I'm glad even if Schuster is getting to be kind of a pain in the neck.

SCHUSTER:

Ever think about the stock market, Gus?

GUS:

No.

SCHUSTER:

Ooooh, that's where a guy could really clean up.

GUS:

Or lose his shirt.

SCHUSTER:

(laughs) Not with my little mascot. My little palsy-walsy.

GUS:

Who's that?

SCHUSTER:

You.

GUS:

Me?

SCHUSTER:

Sure.

GUS:

Well, I, I dunno.

SCHUSTER:

Gus, you can do anything.

GUS:

Well, I ...

SCHUSTER:

Ada wants to go to Mexico for the summer.

GUS:

Well!

MUSIC:

"LA CUCARACHA" THEME, ENDING ON A SOUR CHORD.

SCHUSTER:

Oh boy, a million dollars! Gus, let's get another million!

GUS:

Another million? What for, for pity's sake?

SCHUSTER:

Why for Ada, Gus. Her birthday's tomorrow.

MUSIC:

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU" WITH SOUR CHORD END.

GUS:

Well, you know what? I forgot that. I used to buy her a box of the Metz candy or when I had the money Fannie Mae's. Now I forgot her birthday. (distraught) Gee whiz!

Well, first I went over to LaSalle Street and I went up to the Stock Exchange and I sent Consolidated Something up 81 points. Then I said to myself - I just gotta see Ada on her birthday, see how happy she is, with her mink coat and her new automobile - I'll bet it's a Rolls Royce - and a house in Lake Forest. No, she's in Mexico, I thought. But I'll say Happy Birthday in Mexican even if she won't hear it.

And so...

MUSIC:

STING

She wasn't in Mexico.

MUSIC:

STING

I looked all over Lake Forest and there wasn't any Schuster living there. And then I just thought - Ada. I wanna see Ada. (Pause) And I was right alongside her. Ada didn't have any mink coat. She didn't have any automobile. She was living in a flat on Taylor Street and there wasn't any heat in the house and there wasn't anything to eat either. She was laying on a cot and I hardly even recognized her. (Gradually coming to tears.) The pompadour was all stringy and a kinda dirty grey and her eyes - she had a black eye. She was sick. She was hungry. She was lonesome. She was pretty close to dyin'. How do you like that? My Ada. And Schuster - the wheel, horses, sweepstakes, the stock market. A million dollars.

I kissed Ada.

ADA:

(soft moan.)

GUS:

And Ada knowed I was there. Ada spoke my name.

ADA:

Guu--uss.

GUS:

Ada laid back on the cot and cried some more. I couldn't take that. Gee whiz. I come away.

(Pause) Schuster was in Rollo's.

MUSIC:

"ST. JAMES INFIRMARY" CONTINUES UNDER.

GUS:

Did I tell you Rollo had some very tough customers around? Yeah, he did. I went up to Schuster and said, Schuster! Schuster, I said. Rollo wants to see you in his office.

SCHUSTER:

I'm busy, Gus.

GUS:

Better go on in, Schuster. There's something for you in there.

SCHUSTER:

Is there? Dough?

GUS:

Go see. (Pause) So Schuster went on in and I after him.

MUSIC:

OUT

SCHUSTER:

(Echo) Hey, Rollo, what do you want? Hey Rollo! Rollo!

(Pause) (Startled) Rollo!

GUS:

He's dead, Schuster.

SCHUSTER:

(Echo) Get me out of here!

GUS:

Nawww.

SCHUSTER:

(Echo) Listen, Gus...

GUS:

Look at that knife in his back, Schuster.

SCHUSTER:

(Echo) (Horrified) That's, that's my knife!

GUS:

Got your name on it.

SCHUSTER:

(Echo) I didn't do it!

GUS:

I know you didn't. But they'll think you did.

SCHUSTER:

(Echo) Who? Who'll think I did it?

GUS:

Ed Ott, the big guy. Sam Harwell, the guy with the brass knucks, Ralph, the guy that bites...

SCHUSTER:

(Echo) But I didn't do it! I said.

GUS:

I know. I done it, Schuster.

SCHUSTER:

(Echo) You!

GUS:

Sure. Remember I told you I was allowed to knock off one guy. One bad guy.

SCHUSTER:

But nooo!

GUS:

Rollo was an awful bad guy, Schuster. So are you for that matter. Those guys liked Rollo an awful lot, Schuster. What they'll do to the guy they think killed him.

SCHUSTER:

(Echo) Lemme outta here, Gus!

GUS:

The door's locked from the outside, Schuster, The door's locked, the tough boys are coming.

SCHUSTER:

(Echo) (breaking down) Gus, please. Gus!

GUS:

Can you pray, Schuster?

SCHUSTER:

Gus, please help me. (Weeping, sobbing) Gus, please! Gus!

GUS:

Not to me, Schuster. So long, lad!

SCHUSTER:

Gus! Gus! Guuuusss!

MUSIC:

STING

GUS:

And I walked out just as the tough guys, the bodyguards of the dead men, started hammerin' on the door. I could still hear Schuster cryin'and moanin' in there. And you know what? Out there in the big room there was a set of stairs I'd never seen before. I started up the stairsteps and there wasn't anybody to stop me. And I climbed up and up and up and the stairway went right on up ahead of me, and there was someone at the top of the stairs with a black pompadour and shining eyes...

Why, I'm not such a bad ghost after all. Am I?

MUSIC:

QUIET PLEASE THEME.

ANNCR:

The title of tonight's Quiet Please story was "Good Ghost," written and originally directed by Wyliss Cooper