(SALLY IS SITTING ON HER PORCH, WHEN CECIL ARRIVES.)

SALLY:  (GIGGLE) Hello, Cecil.  I was wondering if you were coming over, this afternoon.

CECIL:  Hullo.  What were you doing?

SALLY:  Sitting out here on the steps, waiting for you.

CECIL:  (YAWNING) Oh, golly, I'm tired.  Gee, it's hot this afternoon.

SALLY:  Shall I make some lemonade?

CECIL:  Naw, it's too much trouble.  D'you know what I've done?

SALLY:  (GIGGLE) Sure.  You've come over to see me.

CECIL:  I've made a decision.

SALLY:  Another?  What is it THIS time?

CECIL:  I'm gonna be a man.

SALLY:  A man?  Whattayou mean, Cecil?

CECIL:  Just that.  I intend to be a man.

SALLY:  (GIGGLE) You will.  You just have another year or so.

CECIL:  Aw, you don't understand.

SALLY:  Well, maybe I don't.  Whattayou mean?

CECIL:  I'm gonna be a he-man.

SALLY:  Well, aren't ALL men he-men, Cecil?  I've never heard of a HER-man.

CECIL:  (CHUCKLES) Sounded like a boy's name.  Herman.

SALLY:  Well, aren't they?

CECIL:  Oh, I mean something different.  I mean--  I-I mean, I'm gonna--  Oh, I don't wanna grow into an old lady.

SALLY:  (GIGGLE) Why, Cecil, how COULD you?

CECIL:  Well... it can be done.  I've seen some old men that oughtta wear dresses.

SALLY:  Don't worry, Cecil.  You'll be a he-man.  I know.  What were you going to do, go west and become a cowboy? (GIGGLE)

CECIL:  Well, I hadn't thought o' that.  That might be a good idea.

SALLY:  What do you wanna be, Cecil?

CECIL:  A two-fisted he-man.

SALLY:  You mean, a bully.

CECIL:  I'm gonna be hard.

SALLY:  Goodness, Cecil, you're tough enough now.

CECIL:  Well--  Well, I'm gonna do something--  That is, I'm gonna learn something.

SALLY:  Are you going to take lessons through the mail?

CECIL:  Aw, don't be silly.  Of course not.

SALLY:  Oh, you're going to start wearing suspenders.

CECIL:  No, I'm not gonna start wearing suspenders.

SALLY:  Oh, Cecil, I know!  Oh, goody, goody, goody!

CECIL:  You don't know.

SALLY:  Yes, I do.  I'll bet you can't do it.  I'll bet you can't. (GIGGLE) Oh, Cecil, you'll look so funny!

CECIL:  What are ya talking about?

SALLY:  About what you're going to do to be a-a he-man.

CECIL:  Aw, you don't know anything about it.

SALLY:  Do too.  You're going to try and grow some whiskers, aren't you?  Some whiskers under your nose. (GIGGLE) Isn't that it?

CECIL:  Oh, for cat's sake.

SALLY:  I knew that was it.  I'll bet you don't have any luck. (GIGGLE) Betcha don't.

CECIL:  Aw, be yourself, Sally.  I'm not going to raise a moustache.

SALLY:  Oh, aren't you?

CECIL:  Of course not.  Why should I?

SALLY:  To see if you can.

CECIL:  Well, I could.  Don't you worry about that.

SALLY:  Yes, but how long would it take you?

CECIL:  What do I want with a moustache?

SALLY:  Well, I don't know. (GIGGLE) They must be a lotta fun.  You can train them, can't you?

CECIL:  (CHUCKLES) Well, you're WAY off the track.  That isn't what I'm talking about. (CHUCKLES) You're not even warm.

SALLY:  Oh, Cecil, I'll bet you would look so romantic in whiskers. (GIGGLE)

CECIL:  I don't wanna look romantic.

SALLY:  Cecil, let's get a pencil and draw some whiskers on your lip, to see how you WOULD look.

CECIL:  Aw, don't be silly, Sally.

SALLY:  Well, if that isn't what you're going to do, what is it?

CECIL:  I'll tell you in a minute.

SALLY:  When are you going to start practising?

CECIL:  This afternoon.

SALLY:  Can I help you?

CECIL:  For sure.

SALLY:  What made you decide to change, Cecil?

CECIL:  I was reading a story.

SALLY:  I'll bet it was about cowboys.

CECIL:  Well, it wasn't.

SALLY:  What WAS it about, then?

CECIL:  About aviators and bravery.

SALLY:  Cecil!  You're going to study to fly!  Oh, Cecil, how thrilling!

CECIL:  No, I'm not.  I get dizzy when I get high.

SALLY:  Oh, I don't, Cecil.  I never get dizzy.

CECIL:  (CHUCKLING) You're dizzy all the time.  Don't flatter yourself.

SALLY:  Oh, I know what it is now.

CECIL:  You don't either.

SALLY:  You're going to try to get more sarcastic.

CECIL:  Aw, don't be a smarty, now.

SALLY:  Well, if you are, you don't have to improve.  You're the best I know.

CECIL:  Very well, then.  If that's the way you feel, I'll keep my secret.

SALLY:  Aw, Cecil, I-I was just fooling.  Tell me.

CECIL:  Well, if I tell you, will you promise not to tell?

SALLY:  Ooh, don't you want anyone to know?

CECIL:  Well, not at first.

SALLY:  A-are you going to tell your aunt?

CECIL:  Oh, I should say not!  Ooh, she'd have a fit!  I know HER!

SALLY:  Well, will she find out later?

CECIL:  M-maybe.  After I'm pretty good at it.

SALLY:  Oh, Cecil!  I'm so curious! (GIGGLE) Does anyone else know besides me?

CECIL:  Just one other person.

SALLY:  Who, Cecil?

CECIL:  (BEAT) The janitor, down at the store.

SALLY:  Sam?

CECIL:  That's who.

SALLY:  How did HE find out?

CECIL:  I told him.  That is, well, he suggested it first.

SALLY:  Oh.  Well, what is it?

CECIL:  Oh, I laughed at him, at first.  Then, I got to thinking, I oughtta try it out.

SALLY:  And I'm the only other person that knows.

CECIL:  Oh, you don't know yet.

SALLY:  Well, what is it, then?

CECIL:  Well.  Here.  Wait a minute. (DIGS FOR SOMETHING IN HIS POCKET)

SALLY:  What have you got in your pocket, Cecil?

CECIL:  Don't rush me.  Wait.  Oh, it's in my other pocket.  (DIGS IN OTHER POCKET)

SALLY:  Goodness, if-- if it's a razor, Cecil, you ought not to carry a razor in your pocket.

CECIL:  I've got a little sense, thank you.  (FINDS ITEM IN POCKET) All right.  (LITTLE CHUCKLE, AS HE TAKES IT OUT) Here it is.  Look. (SHOWS IT TO HER)

SALLY:  Well, what is it, Cecil?

CECIL:  Here, smell it.

SALLY:  (SNIFFS.  RECOILS) Ick!  Oh, Cecil, it smells like tobacco!

CECIL:  Sure.  That's what it is.  It's chewing tobacco.

SALLY:  Not chewing tobacco?

CECIL:  Yes, chewing tobacco.

SALLY:  Well, Cecil, what are you going to do with it?

CECIL:  Chew it.  Learn how to chew it.  And be a real, honest-to-goodness he-man that can chew tobacco.

SALLY:  Cecil Shortridge, if you-- if you--  Cecil, are you crazy?

CECIL:  Of course not!

SALLY:  Cecil, don't you dare!  If you do--  Oh--  Oh, this is too horrible!

CECIL:  What'sa matter now?

SALLY:  I'll never speak to you again, if you do.  I won't!  I'll never see you again!  Ooh, you'll look so awful.

CECIL:  Say, what'sa matter with you, Sally?

SALLY:  Cecil, hand me that awful stuff.  Hand it to me!

CECIL:  What do you wanna do with it?

SALLY:  I'm going to throw it away.

CECIL:  Hey, don't do that, Sally!  I paid a dime for that!  Give it back to me!

SALLY:  Cecil, let go of it!  Let go!

CECIL:  I will not!  Now, that belongs to me!  I'm gonna chew it!

SALLY:  (PETULANT) That's right, jerk it out of my hand.

CECIL:  Well, it's mine.

SALLY:  Cecil, if you do that, I'll go right in the house.

CECIL:  Well, all right.  I was gonna sit out here on the porch, anyhow.  Can't learn in a house.

SALLY:  Oh, I wish Uncle Thomas were home.  I'd make HIM take it away from you.

CECIL:  Listen, if I'd known you were gonna act like this, I wouldn't have told you.

SALLY:  I'm glad you did.  So, Sam suggested this to you.  Oh, I could just kill him!

CECIL:  Yes, he did.  He said it would put hair on my chest.

SALLY:  Cecil Shortridge!  Oh, how horrid!  Don't talk like that.

CECIL:  Aw, you're like all the rest.  I might have known you'd raise a fuss.

SALLY:  Cecil, I mean it.  I don't wanna ever speak to you again!  If you learn how to chew that awful stuff, I WON'T!

CECIL:  Aw, what's wrong with learning how to chew tobacco?  Tell me.

SALLY:  Everything.  It's not nice.  It's not polite.  It's ugly.  It's horrid!  Only bums do it, and robbers, and janitors.  I won't let you do it!

CECIL:  Huh!  You can't stop me.  Sally, suppose someone said to me sometime, "Here.  Want some tobacco?"  And then, when they found out I didn't know what to do with it, they'd say, "Well.  He's not dry behind the ears."  How would I feel?

SALLY:  Cecil, that won't mark you as a man among men.  You don't have to learn how to chew tobacco.

CECIL:  Aw, pipe down, Sally.  Here.  You wanna see how it tastes?

SALLY:  I should say not!  Cecil, people will see you.

CECIL:  Come on, let's both see how it tastes.  Is it like chewing gum, except you can't stick it under the table?

SALLY:  Cecil, please give it to me.  You'll ruin your teeth.  Cecil, I'll telephone your aunt, and tell her what you're doing, if you don't throw it away!

CECIL:  Tattletale.  Run along.  She isn't home, anyhow.

SALLY:  Cecil.  Oh, this is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard of!  It's nasty.  It's--  Nice people don't do it!  Don't you wanna be a gentleman?

CECIL:  I wanna be a two-fisted he-man, not a sissy!  I'll hold my own.

SALLY:  And you think that learning how to chew that-- that horrible old plug of tobacco will make people look up to you?  Oh, Cecil!

CECIL:  Aw, stop raisin' such a fuss!  I'll go out and sit in Ben Hur and practise.

SALLY:  Cecil, now, wait.  You can't do this.  You can't, Cecil.  No one will have anything to do with you if you do.  It's too ugly!

CECIL:  Aw, real people will.  If it were a crime, they wouldn't sell it, would they?

SALLY:  They sell poison too, but you don't have to take it.

CECIL:  Aw, gee.  Here I thought I'd get some support from you.  And all I get is a big foghorn cheer.

SALLY:  I'm disgusted with you.

CECIL:  And so am I, with you.  Here I thought YOU would stand up for me.

SALLY:  Cecil.  I just have one more word to say.

CECIL:  What is it?

SALLY:  Are you going to throw that-- that piece of leather away?

CECIL:  No.

SALLY:  You're not?

CECIL:  I am not.

SALLY:  What are you going to do with it?

CECIL:  Take a bite out of it.

SALLY:  You are???

CECIL:  Yes.

SALLY:  Really?

CECIL:  So help me.

SALLY:  Well, go ahead then!  Go ahead!  Disgrace yourself!  I don't wanna ever see you or speak to you again!  And you can't say I didn't warn you.  I won't look at you, you-- you--  Don't speak to me!